by Vicky Jones
Chloe reached out to swat Shona but she deftly swerved away and reminded Chloe with her eyes that she was holding their most precious possession.
“OK, I’ll go clean up. I felt Marion’s prying eyes on me again today. Anyone’d think she was writing a book on us,” Chloe said. “You OK to keep watch?”
But Chloe didn’t need to bother asking. Shona, completely in her own world, gazed down in awe at the miracle lying peacefully in her arms.
“Shona’ll have a heart attack when she sees you,” Dorothy said, appearing at the bedroom doorway the following morning. “You look a peach, kid.”
“Oh Dorothy, you really think?” Chloe replied, smoothing down the six-inch border hem of her new skirt.
Dorothy gave a knowing smile. “David’s all ready in his stroller. I just need you to pick up a few things while you’re out if that’s OK?”
Chloe took the small note off the old lady and waved goodbye.
An hour later, after running all of her errands, Chloe pushed the stroller into the park in the town square. Seating herself on a bench, she fanned herself, eyes closed. The heat of June was increasing as the days went by.
“Excuse me, ma’am, do you mind if I sit here?”
Opening her eyes, Chloe looked up to see a man, around thirty years old, wearing a smart gray flannel suit and fedora hat, motioning his hand towards the empty far end of the bench.
“Of course,” Chloe replied, shielding the morning sun out of her eyes with her hand as she looked up at his handsome face.
The man sat down and took out the newspaper he was holding underneath his arm. He grunted as he read over the front page headlines. “I still can’t believe that,” the man muttered, shaking his head.
Curious, Chloe looked over. “What?”
The man smiled. “Oh, just Patterson getting himself knocked out in three. Lost the title. There’ll be a rematch, though, no doubt.” He caught Chloe’s glazed look and laughed. “Not a boxing fan, huh?” he said, half-embarrassed that she’d heard his mutterings. “I’m Robert, by the way.” He held his hand out for Chloe to shake, which she did, accidentally knocking the stroller with her arm. David woke and began to cry.
“Oh, my. I’m sorry about this.” Chloe reached into the stroller and picked David up, bobbing him up and down to quiet him. Her haste to do so only made David’s cries worse.
Robert watched, not sure whether to help or to leave Chloe to it. After a few minutes he reached out his hands. “Here, may I try? I got a little trick I saw once.”
Chloe held him out to Robert, who stood up next to her. Holding David close to his smart pressed button-down white shirt, he swayed from side to side, all while rubbing David’s back gently. As if by magic, David’s cries turned to snuffles, then soft breathing.
Chloe stared up at Robert open-mouthed. “How on Earth did you do that?”
Robert smiled. “I’ve had a lot of practice,” he said, laying David back down in his stroller.
“How many do you have?”
Robert looked at Chloe and blushed. “Oh, no. I’m not married. I meant I got a lot of nieces and nephews. I’ve acquired quite the knack.” He sat back down on the bench looking nervous all of a sudden. “I hope you don’t mind me asking but, um…would you care to have coffee with me? I mean, if you’re not busy?”
It was Chloe’s turn to blush. “Oh, I’m sorry. I am married and, well, my husband’s away on business at the moment.” The lies came a little too easily for her. So much so that she gave a completely different line to the one she and Shona usually used.
Robert’s face flushed. “Gee, it’s me who should be sorry. I just assumed that… Well, you don’t have a ring on there.” He nodded down at her left hand. “So I just assumed… Damn, I’m such a heel.” He rose to his feet. “It sure was nice meeting you, ma’am. I hope I didn’t cause too much offence?”
Chloe shook her head. He tipped his hat in farewell and strode off, kicking out at a piece of grit on the sidewalk as he passed it.
Before Chloe had chance to process what had just happened, an old couple shuffled up to her. The lady, after looking down at David sleeping in his stroller, looked at Chloe and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind us saying, dear, but you and your gentleman make such a lovely couple.”
It was past midnight when Chloe woke and squinted at the bedside clock. Unable to get back to sleep, she quietly rose, so as not to disturb Shona who’d flopped into bed hours before, exhausted after her long day at work. Padding barefoot onto the veranda, she stared out to the ocean which was just about visible under the milky-white moonlight glow. “You make such a wonderful couple.” The old lady’s words pounded her brain, repeating over and over again and no matter how much she loved Shona, no matter how good she was with David, Chloe knew that they could never be open to the town, to any town, about who they were to each other. Never be a “wonderful couple”’ in the eyes of society.
But it was the dream Chloe had had before she’d woken that stirred her the most. One of an alternative, normal life. With Robert.
Part 2: April 1960
Chapter 20
They had decided to celebrate David’s first birthday with a picnic on the beach. Cooper, their new golden retriever puppy Shona had bought for David as his present, was splashing about on the shoreline with David scrabbling in the sand. Chloe looked on with a huge grin on her face, Dorothy shaking her head and laughing at the scene in front of her as she sipped at her tea glass.
“Sorry I’m late. I had to pick up those parts from out of town,” Shona greeted, sitting cross-legged on the sand next to Chloe’s deck chair.
“I didn’t hear you leave this morning. Or come to bed last night. Everything OK?” Chloe asked, not looking at her.
“Yeah, I stopped off at Bertie’s for a few drinks, and to catch up with everyone. I didn’t wanna disturb you so I slept on the couch.” Shona paused. “That OK?”
Chloe remained silent and stony-faced. Dorothy looked between them and rolled her eyes. “You two stop whatever it is that’s going on here. Today’s about that little ankle biter over there.” She nodded her head towards David who was trying, unsuccessfully, to ride Cooper like a horse.
Chloe and Shona looked at each other, an apologetic smile on both their faces. Chloe looked over to David and Cooper fooling around. “I don’t know which one is more a bad influence on the other,” she said, watching Cooper dig a huge hole in the sand. She covered her face with her palms as David started to mirror him, getting sand all over his head and face. “I think they both take after you, Shona,” Dorothy replied with a smile.
“Yeah, they sure do. I taught ‘em well. I guess some part of me has definitely rubbed off on Davey, even if he ain’t my biological kid.” Shona dug into the sand with a small piece of driftwood she’d found.
“Does that bother you?” Chloe asked.
Shona didn’t answer. Seconds later she stood up and dusted the sand off her denim work pants. “I gotta go. I promised I’d drop those parts off before lunch.”
“Go? But we’re about to blow the candles out,” Dorothy replied, looking up at her.
“I won’t be long, promise.” Shona bounded off, leaving Dorothy to fire a questioning look to Chloe, who seemed to be off in her own world entirely. David trotted up to Dorothy with a shell he’d found, Cooper bounding up a few steps behind him.
“Shell,” David babbled in his newly acquired voice. He held his chubby hand out to Dorothy. Inside she saw a pretty pink clam shell.
“For me? Why, thank you, kind sir,” Dorothy said. She plucked David up from the sand and sat him on her knee.
“Gam-ma,” David replied.
His response startled Chloe out of her daydream. “What did he say?”
“He called me Grandma,” Dorothy replied, equally stunned. Feeling the tears prick her eyes, she nuzzled her face into the back of David’s hair.
“Oh, my,” Chloe gushed, her own eyes moist. “He’s only ever said ‘mama’ bef
ore now.”
“I’m truly honored,” Dorothy replied. “I only wish Shona had been here to hear him say it.” She looked over to the beach house where Shona was leaning against her truck. “Something ain’t right with that girl at the moment.”
“I’ve noticed,” Chloe agreed.
They all sat out on the veranda, with Dorothy and Chloe on the porch swing and Shona in a deck chair sipping from a bottle of Coke.
“I heard a story today that more and more white schools are starting to desegregate. Finally got tired of all the black sit-ins, I guess. God, Cuban would have loved that.” Shona paused to reflect on her fond memories of Cuban. It was two years now since his death but it still felt raw, especially given the manner of his death.
“He’d love it even more if that new guy gets elected as president. Kennedy seems like a nice guy,” Chloe added, smiling. “You still miss Cuban, don’t you?”
Shona wiped her palm across her eyes. “Yeah. When I hear about change happening, the tide shifting, I think, why couldn’t he have just made it? Just a bit longer. Goddamn that Kyle Chambers. He’s got a lot to pay for,” Shona added, scrunching her hands into fists.
“Well, Cuban’ll be up there somewhere watching down over all of us,” Chloe said, looking over to the sunset.
“Yeah, I know. I think of him when we’re sitting on the beach around the fire. We’d be jamming together, him playing his guitar, me tapping out a beat. It’d be swell.”
Dorothy’s ears pricked up. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she said, lifting her aged body off the porch swing and setting off into the house. Minutes later, she returned with David in her arms. “I heard a cry,” she said, sitting back down with him wrapped in his blanket and snuggled in her arms.
“Gram-ma,” David murmured.
Shona sat bolt upright in her chair. “What did he say?”
“Grandma,” Dorothy repeated. “He’s said it before but never like that. Who’s a clever boy?” she whispered down to the now-sleeping face of David.
“Said it before? When?”
“A few weeks ago. On his birthday. You left early, remember?” Chloe said. “I would have told you but you didn’t get back until late. It must have slipped my mind by the morning when I found you on the couch. Again,” she added.
Shona sat in stunned silence. After a few moments, the look in her eyes suddenly changed. Without a word, she rose out of her deck chair and headed down onto the beach towards the water’s edge. Dorothy passed David to Chloe and set off after Shona.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on in that head o’ yours?” the old lady scolded after reaching Shona’s side. Shona’s stare into the distance didn’t break. “Hey, I asked you a question.” Dorothy swatted Shona’s arm, stunning her to attention.
“What? What do you expect me to think, huh?”
Dorothy looked at Shona and saw the tears in her eyes were one blink away from falling.
“Think about what? Shona, talk to me.”
“Chloe got ‘mama’. You got ‘gram-ma’.” Shona paused, but Dorothy knew now exactly why she was so upset. “What do I get, huh?” The tears were now rolling freely down her hot cheeks. “Who the fuck am I, Dorothy?”
“Now you just listen to me. I don’t pretend to know what official title to put on it, maybe one day in the future they’ll think of something, but you are just as much that baby’s momma as Chloe is. You’ve been with him from day one. And I know for damn sure Chloe feels the same way too.” Dorothy paused. “If you two would just talk to each other about this, instead of you being out at all hours avoiding the issue, then we’d all be a lot happier around here.”
Shona stopped kicking out at the ocean. “I just don’t know what to do. When he was a baby it was different. I had a way with him, you know? I felt needed. But before long he’ll be going to school and more people will be asking more questions about that bastard of a father of his.” Shona slung her hands on her hips. “I just don’t know if I’m cut out for all this. Maybe Chloe’s better off finding a husband instead. Someone she doesn’t have to explain away every goddamn time somebody pokes their nose in.”
“Do you love her?”
“Of course.”
“Then talk to her about this. That’s your family over there. Some of us don’t get that chance in life to be a parent.” Dorothy’s voice quivered. “So when it comes along, you put your own fears on the back burner and face up to the hand God dealt you. Because it’s a good hand, Shona. The best you could ever wish for.”
Shona sniffed and wiped her face, and then wrapped Dorothy up in a tight embrace. “Promise me one thing,” she whispered into the old lady’s ear.
“What?”
“Please never leave us. I can’t do any of this without you.”
“I ain’t planning on going anywhere just yet, Shona,” Dorothy chuckled, slapping Shona on the back.
Chapter 21
David was growing fast, and so was Cooper. They both lolloped into the kitchen that Sunday morning in August, nearly knocking Chloe off her feet as she served up the breakfast. She and Shona had made a pact to try harder on their relationship and, over the last few months, they had never been happier. With all four of them sitting around the breakfast table, Cooper in his basket by the back door, the conversations flowed and the house was once again full of laughter.
“Why don’t we all go down to the beach this afternoon?” Dorothy said.
“That’s a great idea. Shona?”
Shona nodded back at Chloe. “I’ll get the football out of the shed. We can have a game.”
“Me too?” David piped up from his high chair.
“You too, sweetie,” Chloe said, ruffling his fluffy black hair.
Dorothy smiled and leaned back in her chair, taking in the harmony around her in that moment. It was the most perfect scene, her family full of joy once again.
Shona was at the water’s edge pitching a football over to Chloe, who caught it, albeit clumsily. Cooper was barking and trying to pick up the football but his jaws couldn’t quite fit around its girth. He then nudged it with his nose until David picked it up and mis-kicked it back to Shona who ran after him, grabbing him up underneath his armpits and whirling him around. Chloe waded through the ankle-deep water to join them and was greeted by a tender kiss from Shona. The three of them twirled and danced in the water as if there was no one else in the world in that moment. They were broken out of their solace by a soaking wet Cooper who bounded up to them and jumped up on his back legs to join the embrace.
Sitting in a deck chair watching from the beach, Dorothy took in the scene, completely content.
“My beautiful family,” she whispered to herself.
Then, with typical simplicity, she closed her eyes for the last time.
Chapter 22
“Are you ready?” Chloe asked Shona who was standing on the veranda staring out to the ocean. She walked over and laid a hand on Shona’s shoulder.
“Yeah, just give me a few minutes, OK? I just need to get this right.” Shona wiped her eyes with her palm, her heart broken at the loss of Dorothy.
Chloe looked down to the crumpled piece of paper that Shona was clutching. “You’ve been working on it for days, honey. I heard you recite it last night. It sounded perfect. Don’t worry, baby. You’ll do Dorothy proud, I know it.”
“I just wanna say it right.” Shona let out a strangled cry and bowed her head. “I don’t know if I can do this, Chloe. Dorothy was…was…”
“She was our family. The glue that held us together. I know. But I promise you, you can do this. You trust me?”
“Yes,” Shona whispered back.
“Then go out there and just speak from that enormous heart of yours.” Chloe took Shona’s face in her hands and kissed her on the forehead. Leaving her to compose herself, Chloe went back around the house to the garden where Dorothy’s simple wicker coffin was waiting to be laid to rest, beside the rose bushes and flower beds she so lovingly te
nded during her all too short stay with them.
“I remember the first day I laid eyes on Dorothy Clark,” Shona began to the row of people sitting in front of her.
In the center was Chloe, with David on her left and Minnie on her right. A few other grey haired ladies sat on either side of them. Dorothy’s coffin lay on two long pieces of wood, the rope to lower her threaded underneath. Two officials from the local church stood by ready to perform the ceremony.
“She was standing at the cash register of a grocery store chewing the ears off the owner about her broken gutters. I’d been travelling around for a long time and wasn’t doing so good. I think she only turned around and noticed me ‘cos I smelled so bad.” Shona paused as a little ripple of laughter worked its way across the row. Chloe’s encouraging eyes prompted Shona to continue. She cleared her throat.
“But I left in such a hurry that I dropped the few bits of food I could afford. Next, she’s standing there with my stuff all bagged up, saying she wasn’t ‘running no delivery service.’ Yet there she was. She could tell I was in trouble, she knew I needed help but I was too dumb to ask for it at the time. Stubborn, that’s me. But so was Dorothy. She wouldn’t take no for an answer and took me back to her little cottage, gave me a place to stay and helped me find a job. She gave me a purpose, somewhere safe to finally settle down. Until…” She stopped and looked over at Chloe who looked down at her feet for a second.
“Until I had to leave her. But as soon as I was safe…I mean, settled again, I wrote her to invite her to come stay. Do you remember, Chloe? When she was sitting on the porch swing up there? It was one of the happiest days of my life, seeing her again. And now, here we are, on one of the saddest.” Shona’s voice quivered but she cleared her throat again and licked her dry lips, determined to finish her speech without taking the folded up paper out of her top pocket.
