by Emjay Soren
Had I been right all this time? Had he secretly wanted to get to know me too? The answer was in his question, but my Chad mottled mind was grasping for an explanation. Chad Blake was reputation defined. He worked fast with the girls, leaving them sexually sated and emotionally drained. I had no business hoping for a hand out from the likes of Chad Blake. Didn’t mean I would listen to the harpy screaming inside my head to run far away from the sex on a stick before me. It was the other voice in my head that was scaring me. It was the voice of Noah, and I could see him and Chad beating each other bloody if I showed up with Chad tonight.
I ignored them both.
"Sure, can I change first?"
Please say yes, because I don’t think I could handle going looking like this.
"Yeah, I can pick you up in an hour?"
Pick me up? I wanted to squeal in excitement, but instead I nodded and gave my best flirtatious smile. The harpy in my head just bitch slapped me for my stupidity.
I was going on a date with Chad Blake.
“I’ll text Noah and let him know that I’ll be there to get you guys by nine.” He is texting Noah before I can say otherwise, but in the end better he let him know then me. Noah knows how to play me right into doing what he wants. “Where is your phone, Carrie?”
“In my purse. Why?” I asked. I moved to retrieve my phone, drying my hands on my jeans before taking it from my back pocket. I turned back towards him to see him watching me as I wiped my hands on my hips.
Holy fuck, he was checking me out!
He takes the phone from me without asking and starts swiping across the screen of my cherished and newish refurbished iPhone. He hands it back and then starts swiping his phone. When my phone alerts me of a text, Chad grabs my wrist and smiles. “All in, Carrie. If we do this we’re both all in, agreed?” He said in the most serious voice I have ever heard him use.
“Yeah, of course.” I agree but I have no clue what I’m agreeing to.
He says nothing else but leans in and kisses my cheek before slipping out the backdoor.
My phone alerts me again and I look down at the screen. It says I have a new text message from Chad Blake.
Yay!
All in Carrie. See ya in an hour.
I smile and read it like a gazillion times when I see the message from before still flashing. I pull up the other message in my phone and my stomach drops immediately.
New message from Noah Becket.
Over my dead body Carrie.
All in he says?
Holy fuck!
I am so screwed.
No! We’re never gonna quit
Aint nothin’ wrong with it
Just actin’ like we’re animals
Nickleback
Chapter Four
The storms that had moved through the area earlier in the evening had caused a widespread power outage. I figured the night would be a bust, but in no time at all the guys had a fire going and a few of the trucks had flipped on their lights as we all exited the cabin. The rain had stopped but the air was thick with humidity. The whole band had shown up and the rowdy boys from the tattoo shop were all there as well, in true form, with a woman on one arm and a beer in the other.
Shamus lived in the small cottage on the biggest lake outside of Gig Harbor. His dad was a wealthy crabber and his mom had passed away two years before from breast cancer. The cottage had become the secondary summer hangout for all the bad boys in our little town. Shamus spent as much time here as possible, away from the rest of his family, the result of a failed and empty parent child bond between he and his dad. Shame wanted music and Jerry wanted him to follow in the family business.
The shining point in Shame’s world was his girlfriend Cassa. They were inseparable and she was the only girl who was around on a regular basis to see all the shit that happened at these parties. She was a close friend of mine, but when summer came, we only saw each other when Shame was around. Cassa went to UW with me and Candy for photojournalism. You never saw her without a camera in her hand.
“Hey, Sass.” I said with a smile, using the nickname that Shame had given her when they first got together.
“Hey, Carrie. How’s the summer going so far?” Jesus, her and Shame were practically undressing each other while she tried talking to me.
“Good.” I was uncomforatable watching them eye fuck each other.
“How did you talk Noah into letting you come?” She asked and eyeballed Shame. I could tell she was trying to be polite and carry on a conversation, but Shamus had other ideas.
“Chad just told him I was coming.”
Both Shamus and Cassa laughed and Shame swooped Cassa up and headed for the cabin, yelling “Good luck, fucker” over his shoulder to Chad, who just laughed.
Chad was the biggest and baddest of them all, with a reputation that I’m sure even married women still whispered about when their husbands weren’t paying attention. The fact that he’d asked me to join him tonight, as his date, was both terrifying and exciting. But I had a feeling his reputation was why Noah was having such a big issue with it.
I sat on the back of Chad’s truck with a cheap can of Pabst in one hand and Chad’s hand in my other. He’d taken my hand the instant we sat down on the tailgate of his Ford. I could feel the burn of the blush on my cheeks and the butterflies inside were on a full tilt spin, but I didn’t care. He had done all the first date stuff.
He’d brought me flowers from one of the many vendors along the 405. He had opened my door and helped me from the truck. He was a gentleman and attentive all night, even when Noah tried to make him feel like shit. The flowers he’d brought me were wild and beautiful and wrapped in newspaper, Noah informed him that my favorite flower wasn’t in the mix. When he opened my door and helped to lift me inside the cab, Noah told him to stop trying to feel me up. Chad took it and smiled, muttering a ‘fuck you’ in Noah’s direction.
He got me my beer and introduced me as his date. Not like a single person there didn’t know who I was. Noah said nothing to that, just rolled his eyes and reached around and groped Candy’s ass. Chad told Noah to get over himself before taking me by the hand and leading to his truck with our beers in hand. It was a total ‘no one puts Baby in a corner’ moment.
I could feel Noah’s death glare directed at Chad. I had batted my lashes and begged when I got home earlier. Before Chad had arrived I calmly and sweetly asked my big brother to be nice and understanding.
The fact that Chad wasn’t worried made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation. I had been hoping that he had talked to Noah at some point and let him know that I would be joining the party tonight. He hadn’t and that was why there was so much tension when he had picked me up.
It probably didn’t help that with the way Noah was acting, Chad left him to drive himself instead of riding with us. Normally I would take Noah’s side, right or wrong. This time though, it was about me, and I was sick of his coddling me.
For now Noah was playing nice, but he’d said, and I quote, “My feelings are subject to change, per sibling rules, I-E, anytime I fucking feel like it.” End quote.
Ugh….brothers!
Chad and I fell into easy conversation. We talked about the band quite a bit. It turns out the old adage about ‘assuming anything about someone makes an ass of u and me’ was ringing true. Chad was far from what I had initially assumed him to be. I should have known better than to judge him so quickly. I had once assumed that all dads were good, moms too.
Thinking of my mom, I remembered her smile and what her voice sounded like. Every time I allowed myself to think about her I would experience a series of flashes through my mind, terrible reminders that my mom is gone forever, had been gone for what seemed like forever. I used to wonder all the time if she knew the devil she married, or if she died thinking our dad was a good man. But she had been alive to see the bruises on Noah and know where they came from. Now life’s biggest question for me would forever be wondering if she was just as t
wisted as our dad was. I risk a glance at Noah and give him a smile that only he would understand. His brows immediately draw in, but I give my head a subtle shake in an attempt to let him know I am fine.
I drew my attention back to Chad, who couldn’t have been farther from the assumption I had made of him. He was brilliant, loved science and history and I found myself in awe of him, shocked that, to me, he had quickly become more than just a pretty face.
He asked about my college life, in and out of the dorm. I told him I was an English major with dreams of becoming a writer. “What type of writing?” He asked leaning into my shoulder as if interested in every word I said. I was so totally eating it up.
“I am officially an aspiring author in the romance genre.”
“Romance, huh?” He asked with a sexy little smirk. “What on earth could Carrie Becket know about romance?”
The tone of his voice and the implication behind it both offended and turned me on.
“Probably more than you, based on the stories I hear from all your women.”
He gave me a light hearted chuckle. “Stories, Carrie, just stories.”
I give a disbelieving hmpf and roll my eyes. “It kills me that you think because Noah won’t allow me into the shows or to your parties, that I haven’t seen you guys in action.” Seriously, he was as bad as Noah thinking I was clueless.
“Oh, please enlighten me, Carrie, on what you saw when I was in said ‘action’.” He actually air quoted the word action, cocky ass!
“Oh, wow, where to begin? I have, on a number of occasions, been on the pier the last two summers, and even before college. I saw at least twenty different girls playing ‘what flavor are my tonsils’ with you. One even fought with you after making out with you. She started screaming and slapped you in the face.” I could see the recognition of the fight that happened last summer as if it had happened yesterday. There was a flicker of something else that crossed his face, too. Sadness? It was quickly gone as he smiled and laughed.
“I like women, Carrie, it’s normal. I’m single, healthy, happy and in a band. I have never felt ashamed of the reaction I get from women, yet you make me feel like a slimeball for kissing them.” He actually sounded insulted.
“Well, my intention wasn’t to make you feel like a slimeball, Chad. I have seen more redeemable qualities in you than bad ones. I just think that when you fly through women pieces of gum, spitting them out when the flavor is gone….well, that’s one of the few bad qualities you have.” Before he could respond I leaned in and cupped his face in my hands. “I don’t care about the other girls though, Chad. I just care to not be one of them.”
“You really don’t get it do you?” He asked with his cheeks still squeezed in my hands. Even with his face smooshed between my hands, he was still the most attractive guy I’d ever seen.
“What is there to get? That you’re ready, willing and able for any woman who is willing to flash her gash for a shot with you? I get it, Chad, because Noah is the same way, but I am not one of those women. I like you, Chad and that terrifies me.”
He gave me a lopsided, boyish grin and I melted. His smile always had that effect on me, because when it comes down to it, I’m just a stupid girl.
“Carrie girl it terrifies me too, but that’s not what I meant.” Cupping my face in his hands, he leaned down and my heart stopped. “What I meant was that you are the opposite of those girls. They were fillers on cold nights, drunken flings and some really truly amazing, awesome, empty sex. I don’t want empty anymore, Carrie. I want you.” Then he dropped a kiss to my forehead and pulled back, waiting for my response.
I don’t know why I didn’t respond. Part of me would like to think it was because I liked that Chad was unattainable, he was safe. But now he says he wants to attain me. My inner harpy was rearing her slutty, harpy head and shouting that I was no different than all those other girls. In the end, I wanted Chad Blake in my bed just as much as they did.
*
Shame had a giant fire pit built into the ground at the back of the cottage facing the water. The rain had left most the wood wet but he found some logs that had been protected with a tarp and now we were all sitting around, laughing and talking, the fire providing the perfect mood lighting.
I didn’t understand why Noah had kept me from this. Everyone acted the same as always, and we all got along well. I had known these guys for years, had seen most of them almost daily at our house. The only thing I could think of was that Noah wanted a life away from me. It hurt, even though I understood. I had college and a life away from here that didn’t have Noah in it. He was entitled to the same.
Cal walked over and handed an acoustic guitar to Chad and sat down with one for himself. Shamus grabbed two boiling pots, one small and one large, and flipped them over. He pulled drum sticks from the pocket of his cargo shorts and began drumming on the pots to the tune of ‘Animals’. I smiled as Chad joined in on the rhythm and Noah at bass. My God, they were awesome.
Chad began to sing, and it was obvious he was in the zone the instant he started. It was easy to see why he was the band’s lead singer. He knew the Nickelback song well and put his own ‘Chad twist’ on it. Listening to the lyrics, I chuckled to myself. Christ, the song was probably the band’s anthem. Still, I hung on every word he sang and got lost in his voice. I could tell Noah was grinding his teeth as he watched me drink in Chad and all his yumminess. The song had just come out of the bridge and as Shame stopped drumming leaving just Cal and Chad, I couldn’t help but feel like they were going to duel. But then Chad was singing again, in a gruff voice watching me as he sang the sexy lyrics.
We were parked out by the tracks’
We’re sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered “what was that?”
He looked at Noah and winked. I knew he was egging him on and I didn’t like it.
The wind, I think
‘Cause no one else knows where we are
But that was when she started screaming
That’s Noah outside the car!
I tried to stand immediately, but Noah stopped playing long enough to snag me by my shirt and force me to sit back down. He didn’t look happy, but he was making a point. I waited for the song to end, not looking at Chad. When it was over I ignored Chad and turned to Noah.
“That was awful of him, Noah, I’m sorry.” If Chad had done anything, he had just made it harder for Noah to see reason. But don’t get me started on how pissed I really was.
“Carrie, don’t be sorry, be pissed. I stopped you from running for a reason. The guys here are superstars in a small town. They’re the best tat guys in the state and guys from the best bands. Not a guy here has to respect a girl. This is a pussy party. I have tried to keep you from it and keep you clean, but you just keep fighting me.” He runs his hands through his naturally messy gold locks before blowing out a tired breath and looks at me.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you, but you need to be thick skinned and nail his ass for that or they’re all going to think you’re free range, and then I’ll have to kill them. And I really ain’t in the mood.”
God, I could kill Chad for proving Noah right. “I thought it was a date, Noah.” I felt so fucking stupid. I was a ploy to get a rise from my brother. I wanted to run, not stay and defend my honor.
“Oh, it’s a date. That’s why he brought you here. He’s making a point. This is how a player ends the game. He brought you to a place that is swarming with ass and is making it known he isn’t down anymore. But in the process he makes you look weak. Skin his balls, sissy, and do it loud enough that all he’ll hear your voice the next time he thinks he’s funny.”
“Noah… I can’t…I don’t….”
“Carrie, I tried to keep you from this part of my world, I did. We rock music that’s about parties and easy women, and we sleep around and get high. We don’t have to be accountable because the girls come to us. This is not a place to meet
your wife or husband. I told you before, this is a pussy party, Carrie. One you pitched a fit to come to. You’re on your own unless I see a problem. Trust me next time.” He said and walked away. His use of ‘trust me’ didn’t go unnoticed and only made me feel even shittier.
Before I could tell him how low a blow it was, Chad came walking over and pulled me to him with both arms around my waist. I wanted to groan when he pulled me close, my back to his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I felt his breath on my neck. I nearly moaned out loud, nearly forgetting what a cocky jerk he was.
“It was a joke, Carrie. Don’t pull away.” He said it like he thinks I’m on my way out the door.
I turned into his chest and took a deep breath. “Do you know why I’m mad?”
He brushed the hair back from my face and cupped my chin forcing our eyes to meet. “Because I made a joke about Noah’s protectiveness over you. But that’s all it was Carrie, a joke.” I could hear the sincerity in his tone.
“It wasn’t about teasing Noah because he’s a pain in the ass.”
“What is it then?”
“What you sang, how you sang it looking at me. I don’t want everyone to think I’m one of many. Not when you say I’m not. You can’t use what goes on between us as a ploy to get a rise out of Noah. If he pisses you off, feel free to kick his ass, but don’t use me to get at him, especially in a sexual way.”
He nodded and said nothing which helped his case. I didn’t need to be appeased, I needed him to know how I felt and to know that he respected it. I knew he didn’t mean to offend me, so I was content to let him hold me.
As the night progressed I listened to them sing and play a few more rock and roll hits and some old country and blues before the power came back on lighting the cottage up like an airport. I half expected them to go into the full Monte with the drums and electric guitars when Chad stood and reached for my hand.
