by Emjay Soren
Tay loved me in hats, beanies or bandanas. She told me often every time we fucked, and I purposely wore one of those.
Fighting dirty? Maybe a little but I was just getting started.
She opens the door to the Rover and I notice immediately that I am eating with Tayla not Tay. Dressed in a pair of tight fitted slacks and a suit coat to match, mind you they hugged every fucking curve from her neck to her knees.
Spiked heel leather boots and she was still a good ten inches shorter than me. I loved how even in the highest of heels she still tucked under my chin. It always made me feel like a good man to tuck her in close and protect this teeny tiny spitfire who owned me body and soul.
“Hi!” She says with a big smile and pulls me in for a hug, one I think ended way to quickly, felt to formal. “I have had the most insane day. I am so sorry I’m late.” She says, and I hold the door to the restaurant for her. We give the hostess her name not mine and go to stand at the bar where we order margaritas. It’s December in Washington and that means the rain is ice and the air is cold. Her cheeks are flushed from the wind and her eyes are sparkling in that beautiful violet shade. She unwinds the scarf around her neck and folds it over her arm and fluffs her air.
I smell her coconut shampoo and the trace of Beyonce Heat perfume and it stirs the beast in my jeans.
“How did the meeting with Guy go?” I ask and sip from the margarita in my hand. As idle chit chat went, it was still Tay and even on my worst day I always loved how enthusiastic she was about business. We had that in common.
“Signed.” She says with a huge smile and winks at me.
I feel this pressure in my chest seeing her smile and radiate happiness and before the crushing feeling bursts and I say some dumb ass cheesy shit the hostess saves me by calling her name.
Once we have ordered and we can sit back and relax, I tuck my hands in the front of my hoodie and relax in my seat. I am content just sitting here with her. Even with the intense feeling between us and sexual tension like a live wire, I am at peace for the first time in five months. “So, I wanted to talk to you.” She says and leans to the side to cross her legs. I hate that the table blocked my view from seeing those slender, boot covered babies sliding over the top of her other leg. She could sit like a man and I’d still find every move she made erotic as hell.
“Obviously.” I say with a smile and it’s like the nervous vibe finally shatters at the small amount of sarcasm I use. I will never understand why we are both so nervous considering the plethora of naughty we get into. “What’s up?” I ask and catch a woman in her late twenties maybe earlier thirties eyeballing me. I give up a silent prayer that nothing interrupts this night with Tay. I am thankful for the success, but I need this woman’s undivided attention tonight.
“Well, I did some thinking after I left last night, and it occurred to me that I haven’t been judging you fairly. Since the minute we started hooking up, I tended to look at the wrong things and not the right.”
My heart was racing in excitement. This was more than I had hoped for tonight. This looked a lot like a white flag. “Well, it’s not like I am the easiest guy to understand at times.” I say knowing damn well I suck and I’ll never be good enough for Tay, but I’ll keep hoping she’ll keep me anyway. “I know I underappreciated you Tay. I know I made you second best.” I don’t tell her that sadly she will always be second in line now.
“Try tenth best. I came last every time unless it was business.” She looks at me pointedly and it’s like I am being reprimanded. Its rubbing me wrong that for sure. I feel that sinking feeling that tells me things are going from superb to shit and fast.
Reaching for a little joke to lighten the mood I smile and chuckle, “You always came first, even if it took me all night to get you there.”
She doesn’t laugh, and in fact she looks almost uncomfortable and I cringe at my joke.
“Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood. It fizzled out pretty quick.” I felt like a tool. I was so uncomfortable and the more I looked around the restaurant the worse it got. People were looking at me with extreme interest. I couldn’t duck or hide because our table was smack dab in the center of the dining room. I shift in my seat, unease making me sweat and I watch Tayla lift her purse to the table and then she grabs her cell phone.
“I figure until we can get back to normal that maybe we should rearrange some of the TAT interviews.” She says and she’s looking at her schedule on her smart phone.
“Back to normal?” I ask not sure where this is headed. But I know this little control freak of mine will let me know once she reaches her point. She looks at me then and the look I get makes my skin crawl because it’s pity. “I just think we need distance. Until there is a replacement lines up and we get you guys back in the studio, that maybe it’s best to have me working closer with one of the other guys, or maybe have George sit in on meeting or do satellite?”
Holy mother of fuck. She is looking at me with a little fear and a lot of nervous guilt. The fact she played on the fact I’d do just about anything to get her alone and on a date makes me sick to be played like a fool. “Is this a business dinner then?” I ask and sit up, no longer relaxed and content to just look at that beautiful woman across from me. No right now I was pissed off.
“Well yes and no. I wanted to see you and get this stuff handled first and then talk to you about us.” She is so far checked out right now it’s almost comical. She just spewed that bullshit with a straight face. This is Tayla the business woman for sure. She can be a fucking snake in the grass when she needs to be.
“Us...” I say, and it is both statement and question.
“Yeah I think the best way to avoid anyone being hurt or mislead, for the sake of both of us, our friends and most importantly TAT, that we end this thing between us and save face and our friendship.”
She sounds genuine. She may fucking well be, but I am not buying, and I am offended she’d pull this shit on me.
“Well?” She says and it’s in that simple question that I see her trip over her well thought out speech.
“Well…” I say and steeple my fingers in front of me and look her square in the eye. “Well I am not a business transaction. And you clearly came to do business.”
I am trying to stay calm, but I am livid and a little hurt, but I’ll chew glass before I admit it.
“Cal it’s not just business. It’s everything. I thought about all the good between us last night, and in all the good I realized that it wasn’t ever good. We are comfortable and compatible, but we suck at intimacy.”
I want to choke on the sound of her sincerity. I want to know how she can sound so sincere and know she is lying through her teeth. Having had enough of this pathetic cop out she’s planned I let her know exactly what I think.
“You want to know what I think? I mean honestly if that’s what you really want?” “Yes.
I want your honest opinion about it all.” She wants me to let her off the hook. I know she is hoping that I’ll get pissed and storm out. Not gonna happen though. If she wants to pull some public bullshit to keep me in line, a knife in the back to do so in this industry anyway. Then I can show her the same courtesy and give her my own version of the fucked-up truth.
“We aren’t friends Tayla and we never will be. I am not your business transaction and the fact you pulled this shit-“
“Excuse me, what shit?” She asks, and I can hear the quiver in her voice and its all fear that I caught on to her bullshit tactic. “Oh, you need me to spell it out, I can do that. You text me and invite me to dinner with a promise of relaxing and enjoying dinner together. You pick a crowded place where we sit in the center of the dining room and you come at me with this plan that takes me nothing more than business and that with a few Post-it-note reminders you can wipe me lean from your world. It's too bad baby that I am embedded in the very fabric of your life. We both know that what is best for TAT is Noah and that anything else will fall into place. And as far as our f
riends go, I doubt they give a fuck in the tri-fecta of life changes they’ve all faced the last six months. You want to sit here and handle me like I am some deal you’re brokering. Fuck off with that. You want free of me Tay, there’s the fucking door. I don’t need the charade.”
She looks stunned and speechless. That entire speech was said with a smile on my face and in a tone of voice that no one is the wiser, but inside I am on fire and ready to scream.
“Cal I’m not trying to make a deal here, I’m trying to save us both from destroying each other.”
I look at her then, and I see her, the real her, and she is breathtaking. But she’s got me pegged wrong if she thinks I’ll accept the easy way out. “You got me here and you were devious in your approach. In everything we have been through you use the one weapon you think I’ll accept. You’re giving me a get out of jail free card and you can keep it.” I stand and open my wallet dropping a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “You send George to handle TAT business and I’ll fire you. You wanted out, you’re out. From here on out we are business and nothing more. Forget everything else, including that fucking plan of attack you just tried to sell me. Chad will handle shit from here on out.”
I left the restaurant with a fury inside I have never felt before. I got in my jeep and blasted Korn coming undone, my fist hitting the steering wheel as flashes snuck in every time I would blink. Her skin wet in the shower… my teeth nipping the apple on her shoulder… the feel of her hair between my fingers when we would lounge on the couch.
And that fucking kiss that ruined it all.
Fuck her, fuck the bassist try outs, and fuck George and his ass trying to take over. Fuck it all.
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Chapter Seven
Tayla
Oh, he was so crazy if he thought we were done talking. I stood on the front porch ringing his doorbell for the last fifteen minutes. He knew I was here. He knew he minute his security gate opened. He wanted to be a dick I could be one too. I used his key to get inside. The dumb ass gave me one like a year ago.
The minute I stepped inside my ears were assaulted with Breaking Benjamin screaming the lyrics to Breath. I made my way down to the gym in his basement knowing that’s where he’d be, beating the shit out of a punching bag.
I hit the power button on the radio and the place fell quiet except for his grunts and the loud smack to the bag and the chains clanking from the force of the hit. “You can leave my key right there and see your way out.” He says and doesn’t even bother to turn and face me.
“No, you don’t get to attack me in a restaurant and then leave in a huff without hearing me out.” I am now standing to his left but in a spot where he is forced to look at me.
He grabs the bag with both hands stopping it from swinging and turns to face me. “Attack you? Are you fucking crazy? I didn’t even raise my voice, but I will here. I haven’t even begun to show you just how fucking mad I am. So, do us both a favor and get the fuck out of my house.”
He was seething raw anger. I had never seen him like this before. I knew Cal though and no matter how mad he got I knew he’d kill for me but not hurt me. “No. I have the right to explain myself and my actions.”
He laughs but it isn’t out of humor as he points at me. “Your actions?” He yells and turns punching the bag with enough force it goes spinning away from him as it shakes from the chain. Again, he stops it with both hands when it swings toward me.
“Yes. My actions. I don’t care if you think how I handled it was good or not. I have been fucking you for close to three years Cal and in that time frame you have managed to rip my heart out time and time again and stomp on it!” I screamed the last part at the top of my lungs, my hands balled in to fists.
“I know I did! But unlike you I was willing to fight to prove myself. I was prepared to eat shit for months to earn your trust. I was willing to walk through fire, to humiliate myself acting like a damn socially dumb romancer. I was prepared and willing to fight for you, and you come with that fucking coward’s way out? I told you before and I meant it. You want out then leave but if you send me some lame ass assistant to do our bidding I’ll fire your hot ass.”
I was a mixture of anger, hurt and a hell of a lot turned on. I needed a grip because there was no way Cal was even thinking of me like that anymore let alone now. Annoyed and offended by the threat that he’d fire me pisses me off enough that the desire I have for him is barely recognizable. “You have contracts with Coven Relations and me so fire me if you want and I’ll sue your ass.”
Take that….
“Look around here Tay. Look at my bank account then look at yours and ask me if I give a flying fuck about your contract or the threat to sue me.”
I reacted. I did something I have never done in my entire life. I slapped him across the face.
Hard.
He looked at me with such fury and shock. I gasped when he used the back of his hand to wipe the blood from his lip. The one I split. “I am so sorry.” I say, and I am back pedaling now because we have gone too far. I have gone too far.
He takes a menacing step towards me. “Feel better baby?” He asks, and I am backing up a foot for every step he takes toward me. “Does it feel good to watch me bleed?” He is right in front of me now and my back is against the wall, literally. “To know you hurt me?”
“No.” I say and tears well in my eyes.
“Don’t cry. It’s a little scratch. You’ve done worse with your nails down my back. Now, get the fuck out of my home before I touch you back.”
His voice is smooth like the finest whiskey and I know what he means by touch me and I curse my body for betraying me. I should be scared, if it was any other man I would be, but I could feel his cock, heavy and hard against my hip. He was just as turned on as I was.
“What are you going to do if I don’t?” I barely have the words out of my mouth before he grabs me by the back of my neck and slants his mouth over mine. I do not have a choice with this kiss. He owns it, every single part of my mouth is his and he takes without pause or caress. There is no room for an argument, no room to gasp or moan. He takes up every crevice in my mouth and there is only room for him.
I kiss him back with as much vigor and he rewards me with a groan that is so needy and so full of promise that my mind detaches from reason and I become nothing but lust and need. I use my teeth and bite down on his lip, close to the spot that I hit him, and the copper taste of his blood only fuels my aggression.
My hands are around his neck and I hop, Cal catching me as I wrap my legs around his waist and grind my mound against him. He breaks free of the kiss and uses his weight to pin me to the wall, so he can use both hands and tear my shirt and blazer clean off. Buttons and fabric fall to the floor and his eyes fall to the black satin bra over my large chest.
“Fucking sexy. Fuck!” He spits the words out and uses his thumbs to pull the cups down until he can roll my nipples between his fingers. I moan and roll my head back at the feel of him pulling at them.
Once my bra is ripped open in the process and my breasts are exposed it takes no time before he plucks one nipple between his lips and sucks hard.
I am working frantically to get my pants undone and using my heels of my boots to get his basketball shorts down. The fall to his feet and he shuffles, holding me up, as he kicks them to the side and then slams me back against the wall. My pants are open just enough for him to touch me and the minute a finger slips inside of me I scream his name, my body shaking with rapture.
In a sexual frenzy unlike anything we have ever felt with each other, I reach for his cock roughly and start jerking him off in fast hard strokes. “Harder.” He says and bites my lips, kissing me and groaning at my movements. I hear a rip and realize he has now shredded my pants as well. I
don’t care because I am wet, on fire and desperate for his cock to fill me up.
“Fuck me God dammit!” I say and line him up just in time for him to slam into me. The first stroke as he pushes inside makes me scream and I claw his back from neck to hips.
“Fuck yes Tay, make me bleed baby.” He says and starts fucking me hard, to the point of pain up against the mirrored wall of his home gym. There is no finesse as we scream and claw and bite one another. This is raw and powerful and hateful. It is us breaking up, and us falling in love. It’s the start of something integral and the loss of something innocent. We fuck one another in fast desperate need. Taking what the other will give and I never want him to stop.
“Don’t stop, fuck Cal don’t stop.” I say, and he attacks my pussy with single minded intent to make me scream, and I do. I feel my pussy shatter and clamp down on the only man who could ever bring me to tears with a mind-blowing orgasm. My hand falls to my clit to ride out the wave and seeing me finger my clit makes him mindless.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Baby… uh God Tay… Shit fuck!” He says and then not even a second later he pulls back from me and strokes his cock once, twice, three times and then both of our hands are covered in his orgasm as he comes, condom free against my pussy.
This was the single most erotic moment of my life.
We stay frozen together, my legs around him still pressed against the wall trying to get our breath back. My body is humming like a live wire having never cum so hard in my life. The silence between us stretches and I am left cold. There is no cuddling after, no soft words telling me how great I felt. No tickling my back or him stroking his cock to get it hard again. Nothing but silence and what can only be considered regret.
Regret for the sex? Regret for the fight? Regret for every bad thing we had done to each other over the last three years. I gathered the tattered remains of my clothes as I watched Cal turn, not dressed and head to the bathroom, just like last time.
