by Emjay Soren
I watch Axe as he follows Noah everywhere and I watch Noah who always has his eyes on Axe and the way he acknowledges him. It just hits things harder to home how becoming a dad has only improved my life. Noah and I were barely speaking not even two months ago, now he is at my house three to four times a week to hang out with us.
“What’s up man?” I say as he grabs a beer from the fridge and sits across from me at the counter.
Noah leans down to grab Axe and sits him beside Noah in his own barstool. I grab a small plate and put some chips on it setting it in front of him.
“Just kicking it with my dude here.” He says and steals one of Axe’s chips.
“I’m glad he has you Noah. I don’t know what it is, but he is connected to you.” I mean it too, I am so glad my son has this group of misfits, but the bond he has built with Noah is special and I can’t pinpoint why.
“We both had a shitty start in life. He seems chill with Carrie too if you watch him. It’s in our eyes, we share that same sadness and it is something you recognize in others like you. We give a safety he understands I guess.”
I know what he says is true because there is a sadness there in them all. “I’m glad he has you Noah. I mean that.”
Noah just nods, and we act like the emotional moment didn’t happen. I wonder if he will ever move on and I think of Tayla again and know that he probably won’t. If he felt even a fraction of what I feel for Tay, there isn’t hope. I can’t imagine my life without her and that is Noah’s reality every day.
Just then Tayla walks into the kitchen and comes to stand beside me. I wait for her to kiss me, she doesn’t though. She is so used to hiding her feelings for me and the secret fucking we had going for so long that she still acts like we are only friends and it irritates me. I pull her into me. “Come here woman.” I say and plant a sloppy kiss on her lips.
She laughs but doesn’t push me away and I am grateful for that. I hope that one day she will come to me and touch me on her own, but I don’t push her even though I want to.
“What are you guys doing in here?” She asks with a sweet smile and steals a chip from Axe making him laugh.
“Talking man stuff.” I say, and she pokes my side. It is such a small almost stupid that I feel butterflies at it. She is never playful or flirty with me in front of anyone and that simple poke in my side is enough to make me hard. I turn on her and step in close. “Wanna poke baby?” I say, and the blatant innuendo isn’t lost on her or anyone in the room. I press up against her and pin her to the counter letting her feel how hard she is making me. I kiss her hard, not allowing her to tell me yes or no because I see her need in her eyes just before I kiss her.
Oh, fuck yeah; my girl wants to play dirty.
I forget there are people here because they are my people and the guys are just as sexually charged as I am, and I appreciate that quality more than ever as Noah grabs Axe and leaves the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” She asks when I pull back from the suffocating kiss.
“I am kissing you.” I say and lick from just behind her ear down to her collar bone, feeling her shudder when my breath skims her neck. I reach between her legs and feel the heat at her pussy and I know she is soaked already.
“Mmmm, baby. I want that pussy.” I say and press against the seam of her jeans right to her clit and she rolls her head back. I take her hand and guide her to the front of my jeans where my hard as fuck cock is pressing against my zipper. “Want this baby?”
“Yes.” She whispers and strokes the front of my dick through the denim.
I use both hands to grab her ass and press her against me as I grind into her. “I want to fuck you so hard right now Tayla. The minute this house is cleared out I will be on you so fast.”
“What are you gonna do Cal?” She asks me, and that violet stare is on me with determination.
“Wanna play dirty baby, I’ll play dirty. I am gonna eat that pussy like a peach all fucking night and when you can’t take it anymore I’ll fuck that tight little cunt and make you cream for me."
When she moans at my words I vow to myself to follow through. “Fuck yeah you love that don’t you baby?”
“Yes.” She cries out as I pinch her ass.
“Shhh baby. We have a house full of people. I can’t have you screaming my name just yet.”
I go for her buckle because I need to feel how wet she is. Just as I get her jeans open I hear Carrie clear her throat and I pause mid finger fuck and we both stand stalk still.
“So, I went ahead and packed a bag for Axe to come stay the night. You two need a night just you. We love you and we will call if we need you which means we won’t be calling. Get drunk and crazy; we will see you in the morning.”
She doesn’t wait for us to say anything and I don’t think we could considering we were totally busted getting busy. We both looked at each as we hear the front door close and the house goes silent.
And then all hell broke loose.
Tayla
Cal lifted me up and placed me on the counter in the kitchen, shedding my jeans the minute my ass hit the granite. “Put your feet on the counter and show me that sweet wet pussy baby.” He said as he undid his pants and let them fall along with his boxers to his ankles. He grabbed his cock and stroked it as he stood between my spread legs. I place my heels on the counter and spread my legs still blocking him from the view of my core because my panties were still on and I wanted him to shred them.
“Oh, fuck you are the sexiest thing babe." He reaches between my legs and slips a finger through the side of my panties and tugs them to the side exposing me. His eyes are on me in the most primal way and I have missed this side of Cal. I was starting to wonder if the filthy man I fell for was gone for good. I wouldn’t trade all the other sides he gave me in its place, but to know he still wanted me in such a graphic yet basic way, it melted me.
“I have missed this.” I say and place my weight on the palms of my hands and watch him stroke himself before me.
“Me too baby. Fuck I have missed fucking you. I just wanted to make sure you know how much I fucking love you baby. And I do Tay. I love you so much and I am about to fuck you as hard as I love you.” He used his thumb to rub little circles over my clit and that combined with that rough and sweet speech he just gave had me trembling.
He went right for my clit with his mouth and devoured me. The first lick of his tongue on me had me coming against his mouth. “Oh, damn Tay. Do it again baby. You taste so good, I need more.”
He used his fingers, slipping two inside of me and bending them to just the right angle that makes me scream. He knows how to make me cum in mere seconds and he does it repeatedly as he promised. “Give me a minute.” I pant, I am covered in sweat from grinding against his face and I am weak from the strain of holding myself on the edge of the counter. I watch Cal stand, his lips glistening from all he did to me and I watch him swipe his hand over his mouth then lick his palm to show me how much he loved my taste.
“I am so fucking hard right now baby.” He says and strokes the head of his cock letting the precum coat his thumb. I reach out and pull him to my mouth and lick his thumb. He groans and grabs his cock, pinching at the base. “I can’t fuck you yet baby. That little tongue on my thumb tasting me is enough to make me explode right now. I need to jerk off.”
He starts to stroke himself moaning and telling me how sexy I am, and I can’t handle seeing him this turned on. “Let me.” I say and grip his wrist to force him to stop. I get off the counter and go down on my knees and I guide him from his fist to my mouth.
“Oh god baby, I can’t hold back.” He says and explodes in my mouth. I can’t explain what this man does to me other than completes me, but he does. This is him giving me all of him. His dirty his sweet his love and his everything. I love that he couldn’t hold back, that the minute I touched him with my tongue he was done for. It is such a powerful feeling to bring him to the point of no control.
He leans against t
he counter and pulls me up from my knees sealing his mouth to mine. I wasn’t so sure he would kiss me after I did what I just did, but the taste of one another on our lips was an aphrodisiac unlike any before. “I am gonna lay you out in our bed baby, I am nowhere near done fucking you.” He said and led me to what he called our bed and that little statement didn’t go unnoticed.
“Look at what you do to me girl.” He said before kissing my lips and pushing me back toward the bed. Once I rolled to my back I saw his cock in hand and he was hard and ready for me.
“I want that.” I say and bite my lips in need.
“Where baby. Where do you want it?” He asks and crawls on the bed before me.
Oh, he was just getting started. There was nothing off limits with Cal when he got dirty and I knew he wanted a description. “In my pussy. Nothing compares to the feel of your cock in me.”
“That’s my girl.” He said and lay beside me on his back. “Ride me baby.” It wasn’t a request and I was happy to oblige. I straddled his waist and the minute I felt him against me, I knew I wanted to play a little. “Oh baby, your pussy is so hot and wet, let me in Tay.” He says and thrusts between my feminine lips looking to get inside me.
“It feels so good like this Cal, stroking you against me. I want to cum like this before you’re inside me and I lose it.” I moan and feel my heat ratchet higher and the wetness its causing drips out of me.
“Oh, damn baby!” He gasps and pushes me back, so he can see where we connect. “Look at how you glisten my cock baby. You’re so wet it’s dripping down my sack.”
That was all it took for me to cum right there stroking our bodies without him inside of me. The moment was so erotic and hot; it took my orgasm higher seeing the look of desire and awe on his face as I came.
“I need to be inside of you Tayla.” He said, and I felt his hand slip between us. I rose up and looked down, his eyes watching as intently as I slipped down on him, feeling him finally inside after the lust we built. “Oh God, so fucking good babe.” He said and thrust up into me. “Fuck me Tay.”
Oh, I did. I rode him, grinding my hips against him, more clit rubbing against his groin. I put everything I had into the roll of my hips and cried out as his mouth tugged and nibbled my nipples coming hard in the few minutes he was inside me of me.
Exhausted from the numerous orgasms I fell against his chest, Cal’s hands on my hips as he continued to thrust into me, sliding me over him. He was so close I could feel him getting harder and faster. I lifted myself to my elbows, so we were face to face. “Come inside of me Cal.” I barely whisper but he heard every word.
“Yeah baby.” He said, and his eyes are on mine and his hands are gripping me hard, I’ll have marks on my hips in the morning. “Want me to come baby?”
“Yes.” I say and don’t look away when he grits his teeth and let’s go, shooting every drop inside of me.
I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life
I know you’ll be a star
In somebody else’s sky, but why?
Why? Why?
Can’t it be. Can’t it be mine.
Chapter Fifteen
Tayla
It was Monday and in less than fifteen minutes the hearing for custody of Axe would begin. We were meeting in a conference room at the Olympia courthouse with our team of lawyers and Jenny’s court appointed lawyer. Even with the best law team Washington had to offer behind us, the court appointed lawyer still had the biggest weapon. He was defending the biological mother and that is a heavy hand to beat.
Axe was with Cal’s mom and dad while the proceedings took place, but the rest of the gang was here in a show of support. I sat beside Cal on the bench just outside the conference room rubbing his back. He was dressed up in Cal fashion of course. Black slacks with his Chuck Taylors and a black shirt rolled at the sleeves. He was nothing if not Cal Dorian.
I rubbed his back trying to soothe his nerves as he bounces his knee rapidly. “Breathe baby. I don’t think any judge is going to grant full custody to Jenny based on the proof of her bad parenting choices.” We had signed statements from three different bands that were willing to testify to Axe being drug along, so Jenny could party.
“I know...” He says, and I know he wants to say more but he doesn’t. Cal, I think will always struggle being the guy to wear his emotions openly and I feel so deeply for the man beside me and wish he’d open up to me.
I sigh and continue rubbing his back when he looks at me. “I can’t lose him babe.” He says and seeing him this vulnerable destroys me.
“Cal no way you are going to lose him honey. The worst-case scenario is visitation at 50/50 and we both know she won’t want to keep to it after she has freedom and money in the bank.”
We had drawn up every possible outcome over the weekend, prepared to battle for Axe. We knew no matter what he wouldn’t be denied the right to be his father and gain visitation, that was a given. Cal’s biggest concern was that the Judge would frown upon Cal’s job and that he was gone as often as he was. We drew up scenarios for that as well, one being Cal gives up his career until Axe turned twelve. None of us wanted that, but we all agreed that Axe came first.
The click-clack of cheap stilettos echoed toward us as Jenny came into view, in skin tight faded holy skinny jeans and a black TAT tank top. She looked the part of fangirl and I felt a tinge of hope seeing how careless she was.
“Mr. Dorian.” The clerk says, and Cal stands, his hand tightly gripping mine.
“Miss Pope, if you’ll follow me.” He says, and we follow him into the room leaving TAT in the hall awaiting the verdict.
Cal
I see Jenny as she walks into the courthouse and I cringe at the sight of her. I can’t believe I ever touched her and it’s with raw disdain that I keep my mouth shut. I can see so much of my son in her features, he has all of them but her eyes and her hair color, but she is his mother. I think of all the neglect she gave him, and I can barely contain my anger. I haven’t seen her in months and it disgusts me that the last time I saw her, our son was almost a year old and I had no idea.
Right as I am about to say something to her, the clerk comes out and calls us into the room. I pull Tayla in with me, my hand holding hers so tight she probably has lost circulation by now, but I can’t let go until we finally sit across from her and the giant oak table doesn’t take away the fact that she is too damn close for my stomach.
We all rise as the Judge enters the room he proceeds to cover court information and explain the purpose of the hearing. “Miss Pope tell me what you’re hoping to gain from this hearing in regard to the child.”
Jenny looks to her attorney who shakes his head no, but she ignores him. “Your Honor may I speak freely?” She says, and she looks terrified and I am glad. I wasn’t prepared though for what she said next.
Not even remotely.
“I would like to sign my rights of Axe Calvin Dorian, over to his father Calvin Dorian.” She looks at me and I see her eyes fill with tears and I am floored by her words and wanted to know what the hell she was doing.
“What’s your angle here Jenny?” I ask and get a glare from the Judge and Carl tells me to shut up.
“I am curious too; I must say this is a surprise considering the contract your lawyer has drawn up for full custody.”
I knew she would try for full custody, what I didn’t expect was this turnabout.
“Let’s be legit your Honor. If you have read anything they sent to you in defense of me being a bad mom, then you know I’m not worthy of Axe.” She is full on crying now and I hate the stab of compassion I feel. I should be glad she’s owning her shit and taking her medicine, but I can’t help but remind myself that she gave me Axe. She was a pure shit excuse as a mom, but without her I wouldn’t have him.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me Sir. I love him, I do. I am miserable without him, but I am not a good mom and I am not built to be a mom. I can’t give Axe even an inch of what Cal can, and I am
not talking money. It’s been six weeks since I dropped him off and when I got here today I saw him with Cal’s parents and he seemed like such a different person to me and he did that, not me. He took care of him and loved him and made sure he got the things he needed.”
She is full on sobbing now and Tay beside me has tears in her eyes. My jaw is lying somewhere on the table and the Judge is looking at her like she has lost two heads, while her lawyer keeps asking her to sit down and stop.
I realize in that moment none of us, not even Jenny, expected this.
“I am so sorry Cal.” She cries and looks at me. I feel like I should tell her it’s ok, but I don’t because it’s not. I just hate when chicks cry. I feel awkward and out of my comfort zone because I suck at comfort unless it’s Tayla. Tay I’ll do anything for.
“So, you have no proposals Miss Pope? You understand what a big decision this is right? The repercussions of signing your rights away means you have no rights to him. Ever. It is very hard to appeal this decision. Its one thing when the parent is suffering from mental problems or substance abuse, two things that you dont have. This would be a very hard thing to undo.” The Judge has basically told her whats done is done and she is nodding in agreement.
“That’s the thing your Honor. I don’t want to raise Axe. I have no desire to feel that obligation or pressure. I feel like the scum of the earth admitting that, but I would rather be scum than hurt him, because I do love him Sir. Very much. I love him enough to for once not be selfish and give him what he needs and deserves.”
She reaches for the box of tissues and they are right in front of me making it a hard reach. I grab the box and hand them too her and our eyes meet, and I see her truth. She loves him without question; she just doesn’t want the responsibility.
I nod to her and speak up; going with my gut and my heart a new notion I have been trying to live by. Logic has no place where love is concerned, and I know that, I learned that the hard way.
