by Emjay Soren
I of course agree, knowing he and the guys will be working late tonight on band promos or something. I look at my phone and see the messages from Cal.
Cal: Red, I am so proud of you. Winna pierce me?
Cal: That five bucks is worth five hundred Firefly. So proud.
I melt at his text and the words proud are the greatest he could give me.
Me: I will pierce your dick, you bet.
I send, so happy that there is no weirdness from his earlier text. I believe his words and effort every day and that’s enough.
Cal: There better be one hell of an incentive to get me to agree to that Red.
I laugh out loud and they all look at me. "Sorry, hold on and I will give you my attention." I say and shoot him another text.
Me: I can think of twenty right now. I will tell you all about them tonight. We are celebrating on Sully's dime tonight, so I will be home late too. Thanks, you for letting Noah come congratulate me.
Cal: Have fun, you deserve it. Call me if you need a ride Firefly.
Just to fuck with him I send another text even though everyone is waiting on me.
Me: I will just call an Uber.
Chapter Fifteen
Cal
Noah told me they were surprising her today and though I wanted to be there I understood the initiation in their shop so I stayed back and kept working. The last few weeks had been spent slowly leaking the collaboration between Lex and I, as well as getting a solid five song set to play live.
Currently we were focused on the one song I worked the most on, both lyrically and composition and once Noah was back it was time to play it through and perfect it.
Shows are as much about good music as they are a big production and this song was the finale. We rented a piano and orchestral drum set for this track and I asked the guys to get involved on this one track.
I needed the power that her beats bring, but the show and the song need their presence. My boys are the baddest out there and were all on board to help, with the support and permission from the wives. I sent them the sheet music a few days ago and now we were playing it and I was nervous and anxious and dreading it as much as I love it.
We have been getting Shame and Chad to work in sync for hours and I am stressing waiting on Noah to get back and guide the God Damned Bass!
"Stop, for fucks sake stop." I say and scrub my face as I stand from the piano again. "It’s too strong, like you play it fine but I cannot pinpoint the sound. Can we wait on Noah?" I say, at my wits end trying to get this shit to give me what I want is like trying to get a damn elephant to shit a brass trumpet.
Not happening.
"What's the problem?" Noah says as he bounds down the steps of his now, semi sound proofed basement. I had to pad the walls because the echo was so bad. It’s a lot better now, but I am in no mood to dick around anymore and need the help.
"The bass..." I say and wave my hand to start from my hook on the first verse. The minute he hits the bass Noah shakes his head no and goes to the guitar to readjust the sound...to no fucking avail.
"Fuck this, maybe it needs to be electronic. I need classical instruments, a double bass or cello or something. Basic bass isn’t cutting it."
We all look around, search our phones and pray because it’s not there. Fuck me, I hear it but I can’t produce it. "This shit won’t work without it." I say and I am two seconds from searching Craig’s list for someone to play this shit when Chad blows us away.
"Okay, so look..." He says, red faced and grabs his phone and calls Carrie.
What the fuck?
"Dude, can Carrie play a standing bass?" I ask Noah. I am exhausted and stressed and obviously not catching the drift here.
"Thanks babe, see you soon." He says and hangs up. Shame and Noah look like they will die of laughter and Chad looks like he will kill them.
What did I miss?
"What?" I ask and can’t help but smile for whatever is happening.
"Chad can play that bass." Shame says, rolling with laughter and Noah starts in.
"He is classically trained in double bass."
I do not find this funny. This shit is a Godsend.
"Are you serious?" I ask and cannot contain my excitement.
He nods and flips Shame off, who is in hysterics at the drum kit.
"Please tell me Harvey has pictures?" He says, laughing harder and Noah and I join in.
"Like, Harvey paid for you to get snob classes?" Noah laughs.
"I am crushed that you aren’t a true ride or die rocker." I say and now we all have jokes and can’t stop as Chad just glares.
When Carrie showed up with the enormous monster that Bright had to help her carry, we all fucking died.
"Oh fuck..." Shame says and busts up laughing, falling from his stool. I see Chad looking two seconds from beating him bloody and try to get my bearings.
"Okay, enough. We need this shit so let’s all be adults." I say, still laughing as the double before him is as big as he is.
Another fit of laughter as he tunes it and I don’t know if I can watch this. Chad Blake is a Rock God, the man women masturbate too. Seeing him sit pretty with a double bass is impossible to describe.
I try and focus on the fact he is saving my ass here, and the thought sobers me up. "Look, enough. Honestly this is a Godsend man. Tune it or whatever and let’s try it with that big ass bass."
Cal
I was early for my tattoo and was waiting on Noah and Jen to show up. I was surprising her with the firefly tattoo I was getting today, next to a cricket for the kid and showing her tomorrow after the show. My phone buzzed in my pocket as I chatted with Sully and Asa.
Tayla: I need to see you. It's important. Are you home?
I roll my eyes knowing damn well she wants to sink her dagger teeth into this thing with Lex.
Me: No, I am getting tattooed. Whatever is going on you can tell me via text.
I had no desire to get into it with her here, or anywhere for that matter. She is too thirsty for the act and I refuse to give even a centimeter more that I am legally required to on my contract with Coven.
Tayla: I am close, I will come there.
Before I can respond and tell her no, Noah calls me. "Hey what’s up? Where you at?" I ask and step into the side hall that leads to the back door and the restrooms.
"Hey we are in Federal Way in traffic but we will be there soon. Tell Sam to show you what I drew up. It's in the manila folder on my table." He says and bitches about the traffic when he drops the call.
I make my way into his booth and find the folder and look at the art he drew for me and his art is hard to explain. My body is covered in his work, my arms sleeved with the old mic and guitars with banners of lyrics. The work he has added and the ode to my band are remarkable, and this piece will be no exception.
"Cal?" Sully asks with trepidation in his voice.
"What’s up man." I say and show him the work, but he seems uncomfortable. "Noah called and told me to check the work out before he lays it." I defend, thinking maybe he is pissed I came in here without staff or some shit, though it’s a stretch with as close we are.
"Hey, no its cool you being in here my man, just...uh..." He looks over his shoulder and I see Tay walking toward us and want to kick my own ass for getting distracted.
I sigh and nod looking at Sully. "It's fine man." I say just as Tayla, a blubbering crying mess walks in the booth and falls into my arms hysterically crying.
"What the fuck?" I say, and yes, I try to comfort her because something obviously awful happened and I worry for her. It was in this moment that I realize it isn’t all contempt and betrayal I have for her. I pull her back gently, my hands on her shoulders as I try to see her face. "What's up Tay? Calm down." I fear for her mom or her sister's health based on the tears. "Is everyone okay?"
She nods and cries harder. "I don’t know why I came here, it’s inappropriate..." She says and sits on the bed Noah has in the booth.
&nb
sp; I sit beside her, not really sure why she is here. "So, talk to me and we can figure it out." I say and I honestly don’t know what to say because I have only ever seen her react in such anguish when someone was dead or dying. Not even that Thanksgiving was she this upset.
"Robert and I broke up." She says and starts wailing again and I swear to God... No, I won’t say it or think it because it’s too harsh. She is right, it is inappropriate to be here crying to me about his ass.
"Yeah, this is out of line. I get your upset but I am not the shoulder to cry on here Tay." I scrub my hands over my face and kick the stool I was sitting in. "Do you get how fucking shitty this is?"
The nerve of her running to me only pisses me off. I see her, here sad and crying desperate for comfort and I only want Jen. I see it now and though I felt Jen was it for me, I know it now.
"I know, I know I am hurting you-"
I cut her off with a cruel laugh. "I’m not hurt Tayla. I am happy and in love actually." I motion between us when she looks at me with shock. "We are done Tayla and have been for some time, to the point I was going to reach out and talk to you about divesting any rights to Axe. That’s how not hurt I am."
Her thinking I give to shits and still pine for her makes it impossible to not feel the rush of anger of who she has become. "You’re in love?" She says on a choked sob and starts crying again.
I try to be as gentle as I can here. I don’t want to hurt her, I won already. I know it wasn’t a competition but after everything played itself out and came full circle. I won.
"Yeah, Tay. I am in love."
She takes a shaky breath and looks at me with a sad smile, her eyes are red and free of makeup and her cheeks are blotchy with pink spots. "I’m glad." She says on another shaky breath. "I was scared I ruined you."
I nod in agreement. "Me too, turns out broken and ruined are two different things."
She nods in agreement or acknowledgement, I’m not sure. I just know for once, there’s a peace between us instead of tension and pain.
"Think we will ever be able to talk and be friends?" She asks and still with the stuttering sighs from crying, but she is calming down.
I shrug and sit beside her, placing a friendly arm around her. "I don’t know. There’s a lot of bad shit between us that we allowed to stay buried there. I have to think of Axe in it all...and her feelings in it too."
"Do I know her?" She asks me and I don’t keep Jen out of this for Tayla's sake, but because she deserves to be the first person to hear it out loud. One thing to admit I am in love, different to tell the ex and now the one I love.
I nod and as she goes to ask I put my hand up. "I am waiting until tomorrow after the show to tell her so I am not saying anything until then." I say and she seems to accept the answer. I feel like I need to break the tension and ask about her and why she needed to see me. Talking about my love life with the woman who tried killing me with ours was too strange.
"What did you need from me?" I ask and we both cringe at how shitty it sounded. "I just meant to change the subject." I explain.
She sighs and looks at me, an uncomfortable touch as she cups my bearded cheek in her hand. "You grew it back, it fits you." She says off handedly and drops her hand. "I have no friends Cal. None. I have industry reps that I associate with, but when I chose Robert I lost everyone."
I always suspected that the girls picked sides after Christmas the year she went to Noah's with Robert Black, but now it is confirmed. "I'm sorry Tayla." I say and I mean it. I never wanted everyone to choose, but even that isn’t true. I knew they would choose. "I hate that this had to happen. Everyone was hurt in this."
She nods. "I know..." She looks at me with sadness and maybe even a little regret, though I get the regret in this moment I know our regrets are completely different.
"Cal, I should have told you. I never should have gone behind your back. Sam was right that night, any chance I had in having any dignity was long gone in how I confronted it."
I laugh without humor. "Confronted it? You didn’t confront shit. You blamed everyone else after you were busted." I try to keep my tone low and from causing a scene. If she was thinking we were going to hash it out and have this fight here, she was wrong.
"I know, but after everything is said and done, for what it’s worth I was wrong and admit it was a mistake." She looks at me through her lashes and I feel a shot of pain, maybe I always will with the looks she gives me. But I won’t let it affect me. I suffered far more than any man should to open Jenny to me, I was not going to lose my Red.
"We didn’t though Tay. We had a lot of shit that last year we were together and fought more than anything else. There is no going back or reconnecting it. I need us to remain civil and that is that. We are in the same industry, we will always be in one another’s faces regardless, but that is all."
"I don’t see it that way." She scoots closer to me and my heart is beating fast. Not from nervous hope, but nervous anger.
"Stop." I say and stand. "You need to leave. I am going to send you the papers to divest any rights to Axe. We never married, it was I who told the judge you would be his mother. Any rights though few, I need divested. You come in here and tell me that you have regrets and made the wrong choice." I cup my hands over my face trying to calm my voice. "You failed us both, betrayed us both and any regrets you have are for you to reconcile. Alone."
"So, what? Because you told me to leave, refused to fight for us-"
"What the actual fuck are you thinking? Fight for you?" I yell, all calmness now gone. "I did fight, I put everything into us. I never went a day without you knowing how much you meant to me. I repeatedly told you that I was where I wanted to be. You did it, you broke it and there was never a chance I would fight for you after that. Never!"
I yell and she jumps from the table and into me, grabbing me and kissing me, begging me to keep her. "Let me show you Cal..." She was fighting my hands as I pushed her back from me.
"Stop, or I will make a scene." I demand.
She ignores my threat and grabs my face. "Stop telling me you don’t want me Cal." She tries to kiss me, gets her lips on mine as I am ready to push her back, when everything went to shit in a really bad way.
Jen
I follow Noah into the PIT as he bitches the whole way in after the traffic nightmare. He parked the new baby, the Cuda and dashed down the stairs and into the PIT. I got in there shortly after him after texting Carrie I would be to get Axe shortly.
I had left my Escalade at the PIT last night and had asked Noah to take me in because Cal was busy with getting everything ready for the show tomorrow. I pause though when I see the Lambo and what looks like Tayla's car.
I know damn well the Lambo is his, but the Range Rover Tayla drives, could be anyone’s. I try not to think the worst, but I am prepared for whatever play she is trying to make on him and Lex right now.
I only saw him for a few minutes this morning, not nearly enough time because he had an interview at the Complex which they booked for the show tomorrow.
I feel the butterflies invade my stomach when I recall how he touched me this morning and the fast and seriously intense quickie we had in the shower. I always wanted Cal, but the way I craved his touch now was borderline crazy.
What I see when I walk in the PIT though stops me when I hear yelling I can’t make out, then begging?
I storm toward the sound and see Noah yell to me seconds before I walk in...and look at the crushing sight before me.
Tayla has Cal's face in her hands, his are on her shoulders as she kisses him. His eyes are open and he sees me, shoving her back with too much force as she stumbles onto Noah's table.
"Where is Noah?" I ask, my voice calm-dead almost.
He called for me, but I don’t think he knows what I know. Not yet anyway.
"This, I can explain." Cal says, he is breathing hard like he is winded from reconnecting with the ex? It wasn’t hard to imagine, but I still struggled with what was happening
in front of my face. I believed him.
"No..." I say and take a step back and feel the crushing blow of the truth.
"Jen, this is not-"
I cut him off, pain evident in every feature. “I can’t do this with you.” I have tried so hard, I know I have, but seeing him with her, kissing her? This is the one place I feel the safest and that leaves me with nothing to explain.
“This is not what you think Jen.” Cal says and comes after me. I am trying to get out of here and my keys are missing, and I can’t find Sully, Noah or Asa. I try to make my way to the roof because it is most likely where they are.
“I’m going to go…” Tayla says from behind me and my blood runs cold.
“Why are you even here?” I ask and stop, knowing it gives Cal the edge to get me close again, and I can’t walk away if he so much as makes eye contact.
“She’s going through a hard time…” Cal answers for her when she doesn’t answer me. I feel his fingers skim my hand and his touch tempts me to forget what I saw.
I look at him and the pain I feel by those words is evident in my stare and everything shatters including my restraint. “Then she needs to go to Black!” I scream and they both flinch. I look at Tayla. “He isn’t yours anymore!” I scream again and yank my hand from Cal’s.
“Well, neither is Black.” Tay says and her lip quivers as she says it and I want to slap her.
“How is that his problem?” I ask but honestly? I don’t care anymore. “Know what? You stay, I will leave.”
“Jen?” Cal yells for me, but I booked it out the back door. “Jenny?” He yells again, and I know he is chasing me, but I cannot let him see me hurt. I have never let him see what loving him, being neglected by him, has done to me. I won’t start now.
“What the fuck pet?” Sully asks and stops me from running, even though I am fighting to get out of his arms. Cal and Noah and Tay all have their people, but I have mine and they are here with me now.
