by Emjay Soren
Noah fucked up though.
Noah had been fucking Carries best friend Candy for three years every chance he could even when Carrie and Candy were away at UW. Candy is two years older than Carrie, but the code was never age. I as his best friend made Carrie off limits. He should have known I was going to come for Carrie, he was doing shit with Candy for years and she was Carries best friend. Fuck, if the shoe fits you better believe I will lace that bitch up and wear it.
Fair is fair.
I head to the beach to meet up with my boy’s I see Cal my lead guitarist and friend since third grade come running up with his on again off again girl, Jenny. “Dude, run. Trina McKinney is looking for you and she is mad as fuck.”
I groan and stop walking. The curse of being me, is the number of women I left behind me. “Fuck, she can’t catch a hint bro. I have tried to be cool, but it ran its course.” I dated Trina for a few days, nothing more. The conversation was dull as a golf ball is sharp. I didn’t even go further than fingering her two weeks ago. Her orgasm was fake and that was a blow to my ego I didn’t need. She was too concerned with trying to impress me with her loud moans and dirty talk she forgot what I was even doing. She said she wanted to return the favor, but I yawned and asked her to leave. She got pissed, but in the end, there was nothing there.
The thing with chicks in this town is that I am Chad Blake. Lead singer, guitarist, tattoo guy, but nothing more. It got old. I hear her high pitch scream and know there is no time to bail out. I turn to face her and let her know once and for all that I am not interested. Before I can get a word out, the stinging pain on my left cheek stops me in my tracks.
I take a step back and swat her hand away as she goes in for another slap. “The fuck? Are you fucking crazy Trina?” I seethe. I am furious and though I will never lay a finger on a woman I will restrain her insane ass if she thinks she can lay hands to me.
“Don’t you call me crazy! You fucking played me!” She spits as she screams in my face and I step back dropping her hand I was holding from hitting me.
“I played you. We were never anything more than a few dates. There was no spark, so I ended it.”
“You used me you liar!”
I laugh at that. “I used you? I fingered you and didn’t want anything in return.” This wasn’t the first time a chick went nuts on me. This happened a lot, but what was I supposed to do? They didn’t want me; they wanted the status of dating me. It was my reputation and though most girls knew the score, some liked to pretend it was more. Maybe they believed it was more, but the more girls I fucked around with the shittier I felt.
“You knew I cared for you. You know we had something!” Her yelling was drawing a crowd and as much as I loved the spotlight the insults and the accusations were too much.
“I don’t want you. I thought you were hot, I wanted to see if it was more. It wasn’t. I knew fucking you would make shit worse and it is why I didn’t. Three days Trina, three days of talking and hanging out. Get it in your head that is was always just that.” I hated being a dick. I loved women. They are the gentler sex and though some women hate that term and find it offensive, I don’t. Gentle doesn’t mean weak. Women are delicate and to be gentle is an amazing gift. I was raised in a man’s world and missed the sweetness of a female role model. I knew I would always treat women right, but here and now I had to be firm.
I don’t wait for her to say another word. I just turn and walk away. She was yelling some type of shit at me, but I ignore it and chat with Cal as we make our way to the guys.
“Hey Candy.” I say when I run into Carries best friend right here in Gig Harbor. I hug her in greeting. Candy is a part of our crew just like Carrie and Cassa. Cassa is Shamus’ girlfriend since birth, I swear. Those girls are treated like royalty with us. We protect them and always look out for them.
“How’s your face?” She asks and looks close at my cheek.
“I think I’m gonna recover.” I laugh as she then hugs Cal.
“Thank God.” She laughs with sarcasm and tugs her bag up on her shoulder. “Where are you guys headed? I’m meeting Carrie here and we can come find you guys.”
My pulse kicks up the minute I hear Carrie is in town with Candy. “I thought she was coming in next week?” I school my voice, so I don’t come off like the obsessed creep I am.
“You know Care, she nailed her finals and cleared out avoiding the parties and general fun college brings at the end of every semester.”
I smile in my mind glad that Carrie avoids any party because I know damn well the men would be on her.
“Back to work?” I ask knowing it is why she rushed home. Carrie works her ass off anytime she is home to visit. Carrie and Noah own the little burger place on the pier called The Joint. It’s part of a trust or something so technically it’s not theirs but will be. Both want to sell it the minute they take ownership when Carrie graduates.
Whatever the reason, they hated everything about The Joint. “Yeah, she’s boring as hell with that drive of hers.”
I laugh at the joke knowing Candy means no offense, but I hate knowing Carrie works so hard. I know Noah provides for her, but Noah being Noah he won’t provide for makeup or any other girl shit because he thinks it’ll keep the boys away. He has absolutely no clue that all-natural Carrie is as enticing as it gets.
“Well, tell her we said welcome home.” I say because I know damn well my plans just changed. I am going to see what I have booked at the shop so I can arrange my schedule to match hers at the Joint.
“Will do. You know where Noah is?” She asks.
“He left a few minutes before we ran into you. He headed to the shop.” She gives a sweet little pout that reminds us all Noah needs to wake up and see what’s in front of his face.
“Okay, well catch you guys later.” She says and blows Cal and I a kiss goodbye.
I wait for her to be out of ear shot and look to Cal as Shamus makes his way toward us with Cassa. “I gotta bounce.” I say instead of hello.
“You know she might give you a chance this year.” Cal says with humor knowing I am about to go full stalker.
“She knows you exist; you just need to let her know she does.” Cassa says and I nod bored. Candy and Cassa have made it clear Carrie thinks I am hot, but I want more, and I won’t risk it all if it isn’t going to be different with her.
“Yeah yeah, but I want it all. Gotta find that groove.” I say and slap their hands before hugging Cass and Jenny goodbye.
“Well, it better be a packed venue if you are gonna waste another summer in the grease pit.” Cal says and I roll my eyes. Dude is way to obsessed with the band. He eats, drinks and sleeps TAT.
“I am single track minded this summer Cal. Besides, we have the fan base on lock. This year it’s one hundred percent about getting a girl.”
“Yeah? Well, get all of em to the shows while you’re at it!”
I just keep walking to my truck. Yeah, I can fill our shows easily, but I must keep my head in the game with Carrie. I can’t overwhelm her. I have known her too long to think it would happen fast. Carrie and Noah are creatures of their own nightmares. We all know enough because of how tight we are, but something tells me that whatever secret they are hiding is one that none of us want to truly know.
With Carrie, it needs to be a slow burn before the flames.
*
I was pissed.
That sums it up. I beg Topher, a fellow employee at The Joint to give me his shift in hopes of getting some down time to chat with Carrie, but the fucking place was packed. The minute I walked in the back door I saw that all hell had broken loose when the fryer went down. Seth, the Becketts uncle ran The Joint and he was at the grill station boiling oil for scone orders and threw me up front.
I get why, I had a way of keeping the peace. Even the local oldies loved me. I had lived in Gig my entire life. Everyone over thirty knew and loved my gramps and everyone thirty and under loved me. It didn’t suck, but of all the days to be in fast
food hell… I hadn’t seen Carrie since her birthday last fall. I snuck into Seattle and dropped off her gift. We both agreed that it was our secret because we both know that Noah is a psycho about Carrie.
I have waited eight months, prepared myself to go for it and then this shit show happens.
Once the rush is over and Seth has the fryer working again, I take a few minutes to lean beside the drink machine where Carrie is. It isn’t hard to talk to her or be casual, it’s natural. I know her too well to feel nervous or shy.
“So, when is the next gig?” She asks, before I can say anything. I gotta admit I am thrown she is asking anything about our gigs. Noah has been hell bent on keeping TAT a separate life that doesn’t touch Carrie. I understood why back in the day, but she will be twenty-one in a few months and the jig is up. She isn’t as impressionable as she once was.
“Well…” I say, giving my best smile, the same one I use way too much when hitting on a fine woman. “Am I allowed to give up such details about TAT or does that go against some kind of sibling code you have with Noah?” TAT is the acronym for our band Thick as Thieves. People think it was chance, it wasn’t. We knew damn well we wanted tattoos in our brand.
“I’m twenty years old, Chad. I think Noah’s thunder has finally been stolen.” I roll my eyes at that because she has no idea that Noah will never take anything lightly where Carrie is concerned. Hell, it has taken me this long to even attempt it. I’m not afraid of Noah, I respect him. I know he and Carrie went through some type of rotten hell with their dad. I respect the guy for taking on his fourteen-year-old sister and raising her. He has done a hell of a job too. I just don’t know if Noah will ever be able to let her go. Sometimes I wonder if Carrie wants him too. Their bond is intense. Not in a creepy way… it’s almost like survival. They need one another to breathe.
“I wouldn’t say that Carrie.” I say, trying to be light when I know it is anything but. A chick comes up to the counter and I am forced to help her even though all I want is more time with Carrie.
The chick at the counter ordered some milkshakes and started flirting, and honestly, I am so fucking bored of this same conversation expelled a trillion different ways. It never changes and it is always fake, but I do my duty as the lead and flirt back. I wink and toy with the top of the girl’s hand. “Show’s tonight sweetheart. Broken Spoke, we go on at eight.”
She giggles and I force myself not to roll my eyes. “Maybe we can hang out after the show? I hear you get pretty amped up after?”
Awe, the joys of memories from years of fucking Randoms after our shows. How pleasant to experience this hell right in front of the only girl I want to amp me up. Fucking winning!
“We will have to see. Make sure you tell your friends. Cover is five dollars tonight and dollar beers.” I figure it always helps to build up the bars that have always been loyal to us. We have permanent residency at The Broken Spoke, The Aloha House and The Bar named Sue. We busted our asses to get the respect of those bars. We want them making money, so they stay loyal to us too.
“So, tonight then?” Carrie says after I finish up with the fangirl. I caought her looking at me a little longer than a friend would, and it gives me hope. I decide to ogle her right back. Her long ass blonde hair is tucked in a messy bun under her hat and her smooth legs look fucking insane in her tight short shorts. Her cupids bow mouth always looks perfect, a slight shine to her lips no matter what, and they smell like peach pie. I don’t know what she uses but know it makes it harder every time I am close and want to kiss her.
“I heard you telling your fangirl.” She says and rolls her eyes as I scan her body, slowly making my intent clear. Her words make me laugh because a snarky jealous Carrie is sexy as fuck.
I lick my lips and nod. “Broken Spoke.”
I see her blush when she realizes I am eyeing her and can’t hide my smile as she tries to hide it.
“We go on at eight.”
“I heard that too.” She says, her back to me and even though I can’t see her face, I love the affect I have on her.
And then she shocks me.
“Is that really the type of girl that gets you hot?”
She looks at me then, ever the strong woman she is and even though she’s in a full blush she asks me that with conviction.
I give her the only answer I can right now. I don’t trust these waters yet and need more from her before I give her everything, I have in my get-the-girl tool kit. “She doesn’t cool me down, that’s for sure.”
“Charming.” She sneers and I bite my cheek to keep from laughing. She is jealous.
“Do I detect a note of jealousy?” I ask with a knowing smile.
She makes this growl sound before rolling her eyes in a huff. “Please! I have been watching fangirls like her for the last five years. They’re all the same from one girl to the next. They flock around Noah like desperate little flies, and if they aren’t chasing his dick then they’re hanging on his every word for his image alone. Desperation taken to a whole new level. Fangirls and tatterflie’s, they’re all the same.”
Yep! Jealous. Good, I want her wanting me. God knows I damn near killed her ex every time I saw him touch her last year.
“Tatterflie’s? Really?” I laugh at that because it’s true. Knowing Carrie gets it makes me hot for reasons I can’t name. Maybe just maybe she sees me beyond that bullshit too? I look at her with my full attention. I want this conversation now. I need it. “That’s good and true. I didn’t know you were paying attention.”
She shrugs and her blush is still there, but its light. “How could I not notice? Noah used to make me check in at the shop before I left for college. I see them waiting for a chance at you or Noah. It did nothing for me but make me want to make sure I’m way better than that.”
Color me curious, she has been paying attention. “So, what, you hate tattoos or something?”
“No. I have a few of my own but I don’t flaunt them in hopes it will enhance my sex appeal. They’re meaningful to me.”
I am stock still standing there just looking at her, like I am seeing her for the first time. Yeah, I knew Carrie was different than other girls, but the emotion she speaks with about tattoos and their meaning only intrigue me more. I am sprung on this girl, desperate for any nugget of information she will give just so I can know her, truly know her.
“Have you always been like this?” I ask, my voice low because I suddenly feel ashamed for wanting something so perfect when I have been lying in filth.
“Yes. You just never paid attention, it’s not easy to stand in someone like Noah’s shadow and be noticed.”
I shake my head and laugh without humor, trying to shake the feeling that it is me exposed and not her. I must leave this conversation to get my bearings. I wanted to invade on Carrie, slowly yeah but to use my charm and flirt like I always do. It backfired though. All she did was make me see what I already knew. I deserved so much more and at the same time I don’t deserve her.
“Doubt that.” I mutter softly.
“What?” She asks, her eyes on me and she knows she got under my skin.
After debating on kissing her here and now or falling back on my player ways and doing what I always do, I settle on the only thing I can. The only thing that makes sense. “Damn Carrie.”
I don’t wait around because I cannot breathe. I walk off and out the door without so much as a word to Seth.
Carrie Beckett scares me.
Chapter Two
Chad
“That’s it? You leave her hanging like that?” Gramps says and shakes his head. I just got through replaying what happened the other night at The joint with Carrie. “How many times do I have to tell you that there is no shame in your game.”
I roll my eyes and laugh taking a seat at our kitchen table. Gramps is sixty, but pretends he is twenty-five. He is proud of ‘getting tail’ at his age. I’ve lived with him my whole life and as much as he likes to think he is young, he isn’t. He is all I have and
possibly the best wingman ever. He raised me as best he could with what he had. He was widowed early and after my mom and dad leaving me to him… he did his best. I’m not a fuck up and have my shit together mostly so I call it a win.
“Gramps, talk sixty.” I say just to piss him off.
He huffs out a laugh. “I’ll act sixty when I’m eighty and pulling fifty-year-old tail.”
I laugh out loud at that. He means no disrespect. He buried the love of his life and has no problem admitting he will always be single. “Stop it, Gramps. You sound your age calling it that.”
“And what should I call it? Fucking? Sex? Making love?” He draws out the making love comment in a high pitch voice. “It’s all the same, son.”
I just shake my head knowing it is what it is. “I know there isn’t shame in my game. I am single. I never got mean or shitty. Girls know the score, but with Carrie…” My words trail off because I can’t yet find them. It’s why talking to him now. He seems to always have the answers that I need.
“Carrie knows you.” He says seriously and I nod. “Chad, I was twenty-five when gran died. It took me until I was almost thirty to even think of dating again. Your dad was young, and I needed to focus on more important things than pussy. Gran got me; she knew what I was thinking before I did. When she died, I lost that part. I was secure knowing she had my back. I had to learn late in life what I needed to be happy without her. Marriage and monogamy worked for me with her and until I find it again, I am what I am.”
“Are you saying Carrie is the one?” I asked. Maybe it should have scared me to think that, but it didn’t. “I knew at eighteen Carrie was different, I just didn’t see her then like I do now. She was so broken, so was Noah. They only trust each other Gramps. I don’t know if I can interrupt that.”
He nods with a frown. “Yeah, those two have a lot of shit in their past and it means they are far more mature than anyone at their age. There are times I see Noah and that thousand-yard stare, and the boy seems older and wiser than me. But that doesn’t mean they can’t love. Maybe they’re a little broken so the voids can’t be filled yet, but there is no capacity to love. There is with everything else.”
