by Emjay Soren
“I’m going to ask and all you need to say is a yes or a no, but I have to know baby because Noah told us he’s out here and sniffing around. I can’t keep you safe from what I don’t know. You mentioned your sexual experience in your fight with Noah. You implied you had been around the block a lot.”
Her arms are so tight around me, I know I was right.
“He is your sexual experience isn’t he baby? Your dad is the block you’ve been around a lot?” She chokes on a sob and I hold her and let her cry as I try to soothe her.
“Don’t have to say it baby… that’s a yes…” I whisper, my own tears flow when she nods.
I let her cry, no words no interruptions as I held her. My mind raced with images of killing the mother fucker to needing bread to absorb the whiskey I now wanted to puke up. At some point we had moved to her pullout bed and when she fell into an exhausted sleep all I could do was think. There is no making sense of this. I don’t even know if I want this to make sense because it means I accept it. I get it happened and I can’t change it, but to accept it… the shock is to powerful right now.
“Chad?” She asks quietly at whatever the hell time it is. I immediately hold her closer and kiss the top of her head.
“What is it babe?” I ask and she rolls until we are forehead to forehead.
“Are you still mine?”
Her words have me shook. I lean in and scoop her hair from her neck and turn her lips to mine and kiss her with everything I feel for her, a resounding yes. I kiss her until I need air to survive and take her chin between my fingers so she can see me. “I think the answer to that is duh.”
She laughs and it deflates the anger that was brewing inside me. This is what matters, not him. Never him.
She rolls her fingers through strands of my hair, watching me as she drops her hand and strolls her fingers down my chest to my buckle. She says nothing as she loosens it and undoes my jeans before getting up on her knees. “I want to see you.”
I sit up and cup her neck. “You can see me baby.”
“I want to touch you too.” She whispers and flattens her hand on my stomach and slips beneath my jeans to handle my dick.
The minute her hand is around me I shift up naturally to make room in the confined space in my jeans. She looks at me sideways, “Can you take these off?”
Jesus!
Tonight, is a night of wet dreams and nightmares.
I nod and stand, dropping my pants, but leave my boxers on. Carrie is on the other side of the bed stripping down to her tank top and panties and I have no clue what she wants. She eyes my boxers and looks at me confused.
I lay down and pull her to me knowing she is confused. “We ain’t there yet, not tonight. I understand wanting to sandblast bad shit away with fucking.” I say as I move her closer to me, yet not beneath me. “You want to play, get a little nasty I am good with that. But when we go there it’s for the right reasons babe.”
I am so scared she might be offended or feel unwanted, but her smile tells me she agrees.
“Where do I start?” I smile at her eagerness and raise to my side until I am on top of her, my thigh splitting her legs, so I am cradled against her pussy as I kiss her.
“You need options?” I tease and thrust against her.
“Oh God.” She gasps and claws at my shoulders. I kiss her as I palm her hips to keep her pressed into the bed while I notch my cock at her hood and grind against her clit.
I let her hips go now as she bucks beneath me. “That’s it baby, grind on my dick Carrie.” She pulls my hair as she does it. I want her flesh on flesh, but I know it’s a bad idea. I will fuck her, all night and then some. Tonight, was about trust in a way Carrie never understood it. I would continue to go this route until she was ready.
She is panting as I work her, as she works herself on me. I lean against her chest, biting her nipple softly through her tank top. “I’m close, Chad.” She cries out and palms my shoulder trying to get there faster.
Knowing what she needs I roll so she is on top of me, legs split over my hips and watch her dry fuck me, only this time a better view. “Fuck!” I shout, close as she is now with the sight of her riding me.
The heat from her pussy is intense against my cock, my boxers wet from both of our slickness. This is what I love about sex, the very graphic nature of what the body goes through in the process. The sweat, pre-cum and a soaking wet pussy for me to fuck. I think about how she will feel and do the unthinkable.
“Fuck babe, fuck I…I’m sorry…” I bend my knees and push Carrie back in time to slip my boxers down. Like she reads my mind she keeps stroking against me as I come all over my chest like a fucking amateur dry humping for the first time.
Like watching me come on my own chest was an aphrodisiac, Carrie started going harder and faster, something not fun on a spent dick. I roll until she is on the side of me, my come on both of us now, but it makes it even hotter.
She cries frustrated, but I get my hand under her panties and on her pussy fast. “Oh, shit.” She breathes her chest heaving as she rocks her hips in tune to my fingers.
“You’re so fucking wet baby, come on my fingers Carrie.” Her clit is hard, pussy soaked and hot, so damn hot. I want to eat her, lick her….devour her as she comes for me. It is different from earlier, in the dark fully clothed.
Now I can taste her sweat, smell her heat and I am obsessed. I roll to my back to catch my breath as she does the same. I look over at her at the same time she looks at me and I fight telling her how deep my feelings go. I get up to clean off because I need a distraction from my own thoughts
“What are you doing?” She asks with a yawn and I look to the clock and see it’s almost three in the morning.
“Just cleaning up my mess.” I explain and flip the faucet on as she giggles. I clean up and make my way back to the bed. It’s chilly at night in the boathouse and my girl is waiting for me to warm her up.
I get in and roll in close to her back wrapping my arms around her. When she doesn’t move, I lean over and see she is out cold. I smile and watch for a few seconds as she sleeps with me beside her and have a yawn of my own.
My last thought before sleep takes me is that I am done for. I am fucking insanely gone for this girl.
Chad
It’s later than I would like as I wake up frozen because Carrie stole the blankets and the bed. The smell of cigarettes in a close distance tell me Noah is home and outside. I jump up and throw on my jeans and shirt before heading out. No way was he going to barge in seeing her asleep barely dressed alone with me.
As I exit, I stop short when I see him sitting, smoke in hand looking at the bay. He hears me as I make my way over and I am prepared for some reason as well as a riot at this point.
“Coffee is fresh inside.” Is all he says and for now I will take it. An olive branch between us would break, but maybe this is a twig.
I make a coffee and decide to head out and take a seat at the small table on the patio with him. We sit there for a while in silence, but a comfortable one before he spoke.
“I always forget how far we came. Fifty miles give or take a few, but I come out here sometimes and realize I built something for us.”
I nod, not sure what to say outside of small talk. Maybe we need small talk right now. “I always think of Shames dad’s place on Mercer, the way the cove bends there.” I point out to the cove before I look at him. “We used to wait for Jerry to head out on a run and we would sneak out to that cove on the jet skis and party all weekend until Jerry caught us anyway.”
He laughs as do I. “Gramps had me on lockdown for two weeks from that.”
“How old were you guys?” He asks me.
I scratch my head, “I don’t know, fourteen I think.”
He nods with a smile and looks back out on the water. “I’ve never been on a jet ski.”
Not sure what to say. I know damn well why he has never been on one and to pity him will piss him off, even if it’s from a place
of compassion. “We should go out. Jerry won’t punish us these days. Hell, he’s been drunk for two years since Shames mom died he wouldn’t even know if they had fuel.”
He doesn’t say anything but lights another smoke. I decide maybe I need to be the one to talk. “I heard you and Carrie last night.”
He nods. “Shame told me.”
I nod.
Fuck, it was like our friendship was gone.
“I’ve never yelled at her like that before.” He says and the disappointment in his voice speaks volumes on his guilt.
“You guys will be ok though. She told me a little…confirmed I guess is the right term. I get why you are the way you are Noah.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m up your ass because you’re you…” He turns to look at the boathouse and points with his cigarette, “And Carrie is Carrie. This thing between you guys only ends one of two ways. Complete destruction…”
“Or complete joy.” I offer hoping he sees what he’s known forever. “This isn’t a fling Noah, you know that.”
He takes the last drag and flicks the butt out. “I know that. She doesn’t and she is way more guarded than you think and she knows you. She has seen the girls, watched the flirting and living in Gig she knows all the tales of GQ; the male whore.”
“I know she does, I don’t hide it.”
“Exactly. You aren’t treating her like she’s special. A pussy party and a gig don’t make it to the top of my list as a date unless I want to show off and get laid.”
Jesus it’s like a never-ending nightmare, me defending myself for shit I had every right to do. “You act like I’m looking for an easy lay and then dissing her in a text or some shit.” My voice was getting loud and I didn’t want to wake her up over more fucking Noah drama.
Noah stands up so I follow suit. Round fucking eleventeen here we go. “Like you have such a kick ass track record?”
“Who fucking cares?” I yell as he lights another cigarette. “I haven’t tried to hide my shit from her. She knows I like fucking; she knows I can get pussy anytime day or night. She knows all my shit bro, and I am still lucky enough to call her mine. I’m not about to fuck it all up.”
“I didn’t say bare your soul. I want you to make your intentions clear. Do it quick, because Carrie ain’t a fangirl or a whore regardless of my stupid fucking mouth.”
“I can’t in good conscience go in there and hand over my bleeding heart and scare her. This is new to her, not to me. I’ve been here for a while now. I have never been deeper and because of how much she means to me I will forgive you for making her cry and feel shit she should be allowed to forget.”
The look he gives me speaks volumes on how deep their secrets stay hidden. He looks lethal.
“Well I don’t know how deep you think you’re in or what you may or may not know but take it all and multiply it by a fucking million and you might come close to what she needs to forget.” Knowing I need to tread carefully here, this is their life, their nightmare and I have no right to impugn on him… I just want his help and to see I have her back.
“I’ll tell you what I know and what she has admitted. I’ll tell you only because her safety is all I care about. I know he sexually assaulted her for years and that it was often. Because I know that my intentions as you call them are that I am in her bed every night from now till she kicks me out.”
“Great plan Blake. Let her come clean with her abuse and then in the next breath try and fuck her!”
I fucking put all my weight into slamming his arrogant know it all ass against the wall. “Watch it bro or this can get ugly. Butt the fuck out of anything involving me and Carrie! I don’t care if me and my girl fuck or not, either way it’s not your business. Carrie is an adult and can make her own decisions. She has decided to let me in and I ain’t about to piss on that because you have some desperate need to keep her safe. I have that need too and as her man it’s my place to hold her when she gets scared and back her up when she wants to fight. That girl is everything to me Noah and you fucking know it! No more of this bullshit from you. She’s my girl until she tells me to fuck off. Until then I will be doing everything in my power to keep her from ever wanting to get rid of me.”
His response here and now makes or breaks our friendship. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Noah says and I am done, so fucking done.
Chapter Nine
Carrie
“You two pieces of shit are worthless you know that?” His voice is like acid the way it burns me to hear him. Noah cringes the same as I do but he keeps quiet. I don’t know if it’s because his lips are busted and swollen but he stays quiet and I am thankful.
He grabs me by my hair and drags me from my safety with Noah. I don’t know why I am so scared this time. I have been there done that with him so many times that I find this place in my mind where I close up and drift to keep from remembering the things he will no doubt force me to do.
Maybe its Noah’s whimpers that terrify me, perhaps it’s because he has been rougher with me lately. Either way I am scared to death to leave Noah’s side. I follow my father into his room, but I catch a final glimpse at Noah and he mouths ‘trust me’ through battered and bruised lips.
Our school days are long gone, and we school from home now. I think about how next year I would have been in high school, with proms and school spirit and drivers ed. Those are the things that I dream about. I can hear the ringing of his belt in the distance, but my mind has already sent me adrift.
I won’t think of proms today. I won’t think of dates or boys or love songs because I learned long ago, even thinking of things I want when he is inside of me will kill any future dreams or hopes. So, I think of Drivers Ed and wishing I had a car, a red one that was fast and could take me and Bubba far away.
He pulls free of my body and pushes me roughly to my stomach, smashing my face in the pillow before entering me painfully from behind. I hate this way I am so scared because I can’t see him or know what’s coming. I can’t drift in this position because panic starts to assail me. He pushes me into the mattress harder, but pulls free on a curse, his watch catching in my hair, taking a chunk of my long blonde strands with him.
I hear his belt again and I foolishly wonder if he is done when he grips me by my hair and pulls me back until I am crouched on my knees before him. He wraps my hands around the swollen part of him before he loops the belt repeatedly around my hands holding him. When the belt is tight, and I can’t move my hands from off of him he pulls my hair and hisses in my ear.
“Now fight me princess. Make me come while you try and get free of me.”
I awake with a gasp and realize instantly it was a memory. I am sticky with sweat and my sheets are wrapped around me, clearly, I was fighting in my sleep. I climb from the bed and look around for Chad. He isn’t anywhere but I see his black combat looking boots and his wallet and keys are still on the counter so he can’t be far. I splash water on my face but stop when I hear low voices coming from the front of the boathouse.
I go to the window and peek out recognizing Noah’s voice instantly and hearing Chad’s a few seconds later. I am so not above eavesdropping when it comes to the dominant men in my life fighting about me.
“You make it sound like I’m looking for an easy lay and then dissing her in a text or some shit.” Chad practically hisses and I know he wants to yell at Noah but won’t because they know the window is open and I’m sleeping just beyond it.
Or was sleeping. Now I am in full on creeper mode.
“Like you have such a kick ass track record.” Noah responds snidely and I can hear him take a drag from a cigarette. Noah only smokes when his backs against the wall. That means I have a huge apology coming my way from him.
“Who cares?” Chad demands his voice getting angrier by the heartbeat. “I haven’t tried to hide my shit from her. She knows I like fucking; she knows I can get pussy any time day or night. She knows all my shit bro and I’m still lucky enough to call he
r mine. I am not about to fuck it all up.” I didn’t know what he meant by fucking it all up. I was the one hiding secrets.
“I didn’t say bare your soul, I said make your intentions fucking clear and do it damn quick because Carrie isn’t a fangirl, or a whore regardless of my fucking stupid mouth.” That was Noah and at least I could hear the remorse in his voice.
“I can’t in good conscience go in there and hand over my bleeding heart and scare her. This is new to her, not to me. I’ve been here for a while now. I have never been deeper and because of how much she means to me I will forgive you for making her cry and feel shit she should be allowed to forget.” Chad isn’t even masking his anger any longer.
“Well I don’t know how deep you think you’re in or what you may or may not know but take it all and multiply it by a fucking million and you might come close to what she needs to forget.” Noah is now pissed and not hiding the anger as well. If I was sleeping and not creeping, I would be mad as hell. However, intrigued I hated knowing that they were fighting over me for a reason I couldn’t understand.
“I’ll tell you what I know and what she has admitted. I’ll tell you only because her safety is all I care about. I know he sexually assaulted her for years and that it was often. Because I know that my intentions as you call them are that I am in her bed every night from now till she kicks me out.”
“Great plan Blake. Let her come clean with her abuse and then in the next breath try and fuck her!” Noah is out right yelling. I know he isn’t mad at Chad but upset to be talking about my past.
I hear a loud thud against the wall and then some struggling before I hear Chad’s voice and the anger in it. His nerves are shot and grated. “Watch it bro or this can get ugly. But the fuck out of anything involving me and Carrie!” His voice was razor sharp and serious to the point of hurting Noah. “I don’t care if me and my girl fuck or not, either way it’s not your business. Carrie is an adult and can make her own decisions. She has decided to let me in and I ain’t about to piss on that because you have some desperate need to keep her safe. I have that need too and as her man it’s my place to hold her when she gets scared and back her up when she wants to fight. That girl is everything to me Noah and you fucking know it! No more of this bullshit from you. She’s my girl until she tells me to fuck off. Until then I will be doing everything in my power to keep her from ever wanting to get rid of me.”
