"I'm sorry, Emma. I have something I need to get off my chest."
She waited for what he wanted to say, getting the idea that this was something serious. He got off the bed and stepped closer to her, and Emma had to stop herself from taking a step away, his suddenly strange behavior making her wary.
"If we die tomorrow, I want you to know now that I'm in love with you."
Emma was stunned. This was the last thing she'd expected him to bring up. She could have said she already knew, because he'd already told her this, but she found herself confessing what she'd come to decide, finally.
"I love you too, Chase. After Janice, I got to thinking, seriously, and this is something I wanted you to know if the worst case scenario happened."
He stepped closer, and she could see the hope clearly written on his face, but she held a hand up to stop him. He moved closer anyway, until only a little space separated them.
"I'm too broken to know what I want right now. Beyond wanting you to know that, I hadn't thought that far ahead.
"Then we can figure that out together after tomorrow," was his answer.
Unable to help herself, Emma leaned forwards and kissed him. It was a surprise, a pleasant one, how very right it felt to be doing this with Chase, to have his arms going around her waist to drag her body closer to his own. She ran her finger in his hair before clenching a fistful, and they tangled together on the bed, the candle getting snuffed out, and pulled the blankets over them.
Chapter Twenty-Five
They planned for everything up to the time they'd be leaving. It was a short trip, so Emma put together some food for everyone that would be going along. Merry took some time, kneeling in front of their mother's grave, and Emma waited for her to be done with what she was doing.
She took some time to mentally prepare herself. Her heart was beating faster than normal, and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t believe they were actually going to go along with this. She wasn’t sure if the emotion that made her shake was anxiety or excitement. When everyone else in the house was ready to go, they headed out.
Emma and her group gathered together the few vehicles that were still functional and divided them between them. They'd been lucky to find other cars, because apparently the police had been hiding them form the public for some reason. The tanks got filled at the gas station, with several cans filled with gas in stored so they could take them along.
She had been under the impression they had no cars besides the one truck, until she got the message they'd be added more cars by some officers. She distributed the supplies she'd brought, and they got in their cars and headed for Brassville together.
Emma and Carol rode in the same car together, Carol in the driver's seat because Emma had never driven a car before. she'd never found reason to, because she used to have a bike that she preferred using anyway, and after that if she wanted to go anywhere Chase was there to drive her. She would have loved to be with him, or Merry, but she and Carol were taking one of the smaller cars, so she'd made sure the two of them stayed together so Chase could look after Merry.
They hadn't talked about what had happened between them, and she didn’t know what they were to each other anymore. But their closeness hadn't changed, at least. She put it out of her mind, to think on later after they got their mission done.
"I'm sorry."
She looked over at Carol, pulled out of her thoughts. "For what?"
"Your grandmother. It just occurred to me I hadn't expressed my condolences yet. Someone else was called after the attack, so I hadn't known until you mentioned it at the meeting."
Emma thinned her lips. "Thanks. I guess it's still hard to believe that she's gone just like that, you know? Less than a week ago she was alive and just fine..."
Also more than a little stressed out because of how things had been between her and Merry. Emma hated thinking that she had died with any regrets, and it only fuelled her anger. Janice should have had a lot more time than she got. Emma couldn’t do anything about it now, it was much too late for that, but the people that instigated the whole thing were going to pay. It wouldn’t be nearly enough to stop her being angry, but it would be a start.
"My mother was killed years ago," Carol revealed, dragging Emma's attention again, "it was in a street robbery. I understand more than most people how it feels to lose someone in a horrific way. I can't imagine how much worse it must have been for the two of you to be there for it."
Hearing that, Emma's heart filled with grief, though she felt that Carol, at least, would understand how she felt even if she didn’t say anything. How angry she was at her grandmother's attacker, the emotions she couldn’t seem to control this time. The fear of closing her eyes because every time she expected to see her grandmother's form, lying on the ground bleeding to death, and she'd been unable to do enough to stop it from happening.
"Is the emptiness normal?" she asked, the words out of her mouth before she could think about it. "And the thirst for revenge. I mean, there are moments that I feel, but it's mostly anger and grief. It doesn’t last long, then there's just this... emptiness in my chest. And wanting to harm all the people I deem responsible..."
She'd had some moments of doubt about their plan. She still thought it was the best thing to do, but she could be rational about it. A lot of her motivation was because of the anger and injustice she felt. Emma wondered, had it been someone else who dies, someone she didn’t know, if she would have reacted as volatile as she did. Probably not, and that bothered her. Only a little though. She wanted revenge, and the only thing she regretted, was that she had to pull other people into it when there was a chance for them to get hurt.
It was too late to change her mind, anyway, after she'd gone through the motions and they were on their way to carry it out.
"Everyone copes in different way," Carol said in answer to her question. "Barbara coped better than I did, and I can relate to your emptiness.one day, it'll pass—you'll break down and all the emotions will spill. There's no way to know when it will happen, what will set it off, and you're going to believe you're in hell when it does happen."
Emma nodded, pursing her lips. That was why what she'd done to cope before, putting everything out of her mind until it someone else brought it up or she accidentally thought about it, had been so unhealthy for her. If she hadn't been so determined to keep it in, she would have broken at some point. She had been pretty close, a decade too late, right before the crash happened, and the situations she'd ended up in since had only played havoc with her emotions.
It was something of a miracle that she hadn't broken already. Maybe, with Janice's day, she actually would at some point. Hopefully, she could be alone when it happened, because she didn’t want anyone, not Chase or her sister, to see her lose her mind like that.
"Do you think I could survive it?" she asked with mild curiosity. "When I think about it, break is exactly what happened to my sister, isn’t it? After the accident. She just lost herself, and started living in her mind. Do you think I could end up something close to that?"
Carol hummed. "It's not something I can say. My sister would have a better idea. But I've seen you and I know you're tuff, so I'm pretty sure you can survive it, with a little support. Your sister and your friend, Chase? I can tell they both care about you. As long as you let yourself rely on them, when the time comes, they can help you."
Emma didn’t think she could do that, just rely on them. She was much too independent for her own good, so used to dealing with that sort of thing on her own. She really didn’t want Chase seeing her in such a state, because she knew it would hurt him too to watch something like that. It would be too cruel to let him be there.
"I know what you're probably thinking, but don’t try to get through it alone. Some people can do it, but it is usually a mistake. I didn’t rely on my family when I could have, and I almost lost everything by the time I came back to my senses. Human beings just naturally prefer comfort in times like that. Trust me, it wil
l be worth it."
Emma sighed. "Well, I'll have to take your word for it."
She would have to wait for it to happen at all. She'd done a good job of keeping herself from breaking down in impossible situations before, hopefully she could break out of this without something like that happening. Comfort would be nice, but the world as it was wouldn’t allow for much comfort.
"Although a lot of psych doctors really wouldn’t recommend it, because it's so easy to get out of hand and do more harm, it's good to channel the spark of anger in you—it’ll help you heal. Just don’t let it take over you, all right? Because if it does, it's game over for your mind. When you fall into a pit of anger like that, it's almost as hard to get out of as depression is, and it can be just as destructive, to others as well as yourself."
Emma would keep that in mind. Well, she'd battled with depression a little herself, though thankfully she'd always managed to get out of it and go on with her life, even back when she hated it.
When they approached the town, they found that it was quiet.
Emma found it strange. It had been some time since they'd come here, but it couldn’t have been so long that everyone had left, right? She still remembered the day they got there to see all the people acting crazy and patrols with guns walking all over.
Now, she couldn’t tell there had been anyone there. Where she'd seen the bonfire they'd had on last time was a mass of black on the road, everything they'd put in burned down to ash. The smell of smoke was gone, and she would have thought the town was abandoned.
"It’s like a ghost town," Carol commented, slowing down their speed.
They all drove around the town, looking for signs of life, but there was nothing. It might as well be as Carol said, it was so silent. They could see the mess and destruction left behind, the only thing that told them people had lived here not too long ago.
"Are they all hiding, prepared for attack?" Carol wondered.
But Emma didn’t think that was the case. "They were all out in the open last time, guns at the ready. They were everywhere. Honestly, I expected to find people ready to start firing at us as soon as we got here."
In contract, the situation was a little anticlimactic, also worrying. What had driven all these people out of their own town?
"I've heard bad things about Brassville," Carol said. "That it’s a town full of drunks and people who would rather take benefits than work."
"I can believe that—they were all too quick to attack, and they were all drunk."
So what the hell was going on?"
"I have a really bad feeling about the emptiness of this town," Carol muttered.
She was feeling it too. This made no sense. Of people from this town had been attacking them, where would they had all disappeared to? It was a town around as big as her own, and with how wild it had been the last time, there should have been some people around to see.
Emma made the decision to take everyone back to town, spooked by the quietness of the town.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Carol and Emma ride back home together.
Emma kept looking out of the window, nervous. Something was really wrong, she could feel it. Why hadn't there been anyone in that town? Well, they didn't exactly go knocking on doors to check if there were people around, but after her last reception, it was definitely strange.
Someone would have heard the car. They might have at least caught some curtains twitching, but Emma had looked out for it as they passed the streets, and she hadn't noticed. That could only mean that the town fighters weren’t around. they hadn't knocked on doors, because Emma thought that was a little too much to attack with a bunch of frightened people, if there even were people locking them up in their houses.
"Keep a cool head, Emma. We're all surprised, just don’t let this throw you."
Carol said that and she heard, but Emma couldn't seem to get rid of her nerves. Had they really hidden themselves? With the overconfidence they'd displayed when she, Chase and Brian went there, she didn’t think they would do a thing quite like that.
Or were they waiting to ambush them somewhere on the way? It hadn't happened on the trip there, but maybe on the way back?
She cursed in her mind. The uncertainty was killing her. Had they been too late in planning their attack? It had been nearly a week since the last time, who knew what they must have been thinking when their people didn’t return.
Her uneasiness only grew the further they got with no surprises waiting for them. Whatever they'd decided to do, Emma had a feeling it would affect them somehow.
She clutched her gun the whole way, ready to shoot at any enemies that popped out of nowhere, leaving her nerves stretched tight when nothing happened.
When they drive into town, someone stopped them. They ran into the road out of nowhere, and if there hadn't been a great deal of distance between them, Carol wouldn’t have had time to slow down without causing the other cars keeping close at their tails crashing into them. The tires made a slight screech, and Emma's heart beat a faster rhythm from the scare she got. She could have leaned outside and told the person off, but they came close to the window.
"Where the hell were you?" he said accusingly. "You were late getting here."
Emma paused her angry tirade. Late...? The whole town had known what they'd intended to do. If anything, Emma would say they'd returned way too early. Emma was about to ask what they were late for, when Carol cut in, leaning towards Emma's side to catch the guy's attention.
"Where are we needed?"
"Head for the west side of town. The situation is worst there right now, but be careful."
Carol nodded, ushering the other cars to follow as the guy ran off to wherever he'd come from.
Her uneasiness was enough to make her sick at that point. She had some idea what could be happening, and she wondered how they hadn't foreseen this. It would have been the obvious thing, yet somehow, they'd been tricked.
Carol and Emma investigated the west of town. They drove, seeing no one on the streets, until they got to a point where Carol stopped and parked the car. She went back to the other cars, probably to tell them not to move, and she and Emma went forward, moving slower.
Emma couldn’t even say she was surprised, it was like what she was feeling realized. She could only watch in disbelief, as Carol parked out of sight, far enough away that they weren’t too close to the action but could see it pretty clearly.
"What the hell," she breathed.
There were at least four vehicles on each street. One of them was even a truck. Carol saw people form the cars gathering others from their houses, butting them with guns, and pointed it out to Emma. She watched, raising her hand to her mouth and feeling her insides quiver.
Seriously, what the hell was going on. Who were these people, and why were they in their town? How did they get there, and how were the doing whatever they wanted? She didn't see anyone on their side fighting at all, but then the odds were set against them, so it was understandable.
Had they been too late, like she'd feared? Taken too long thinking of attacking and lost their advantage long before they even realized it. Because this ambush was supposed to be on their town, not Emma's. Had they taken the initiative and come here, because Emma had waited too long, nearly a week, to act? She could have sworn they had more time.
There were several gunshots, and Emma winced at the sound. She wanted to look away, but couldn’t.
"I know exactly where the people of Brassville are," Carol muttered. "They’ve come to our town."
But... how? Unless they'd used some route Emma didn’t know, they couldn’t have gotten here while Emma and her party were away. They hadn't passed any cars on their way. Or had they been in another town, and Emma and her group just passed them on their way?
Either way, this was bad. They didn’t have nearly enough people to counter this level of attack, and if there were more people on their streets, doing anything at all would be dangerous.
&nb
sp; Then Carol was driving away. Emma's eyes snapped to the invaders as the engine raved. She wondered if there was just too much noise over there for them to hear, or they assumed it was one of theirs. Or maybe luck, but none of them seemed to notice, and they were able to drive away safely.
"Carol, what are you doing?" she asked as Chase and the others followed behind them in their cars.
Were they really just going to leave all those people without even trying to help? Self-preservation and the need to help had warred inside Emma. She didn’t think there was any way they could win if they decided to fight, but would running away really be better? Because Emma was getting the bad feeling that those people might not survive whatever their attackers had in mind.
"You saw what I did, Emma. There are way too many people there, and we don’t know their objective. Rushing in, going in at all, could be fatal for all those people." she didn’t mention what Emma was thinking, what she was sure Carol also thought. That those people had no guarantee of survival anyway. We can’t play heroes—we need to get out of here, or we’re all going to die."
Emma knew it was true. It let her feeling sick to her stomach, that the best they could do was run, but even mad, she wasn’t homicidal. It wasn’t just her in this, and there others hadn't asked to be led to their deaths. The possibility had existed, but the probability raised a lot higher in that moment when Emma saw all those people.
"We’ll warn as many people as they can," Carol went on, "pack up the cars and get out of here before we get ourselves killed.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Emma didn’t like this plan. She hated this plan, knowing the only reason they even had the chance to get away, was because they had made the initiative to leave town and go to their attackers' to try and ambush them, only for the reverse to happen. And now, all they could do was run.
It felt cowardly. But she knew there wasn’t a chance that they could win. Maybe if they'd been on even footing... but she couldn’t think about that right then. If they were going to leave, she needed to pack up some stuff.
Powerless | Book 3 | New Order Page 20
