by Maya Hughes
I brushed a curl from her neck and she squirmed and mumbled, snuggling closer to me. I couldn’t help my smile. She never failed to make me smile, whether it was in person, on the phone, or just thinking about her. The power she had over me was overwhelming and she didn’t even know it. I couldn’t let her know. I didn’t even want to admit it myself.
It had been on the tip of my tongue to ask her the question. It would have been so easy, but I’d almost lost her. When I told her I went to the gala, I did it to push her away, to put distance between us, but the minute she stood, it was like I couldn’t breathe. I knew if I let her leave I’d regret it every day, so I used the one thing I knew she wanted.
I’d laid there, with her in my arms, after we both remembered our names again and drifted off to sleep. The reflex to push her away again struck, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The shock of that sat with me.
I wrapped my arms around her, breathing her in, committing this moment to memory. I didn’t want tonight to end because I knew the things I’d have to do in the morning and the days coming would be ones she might hate me for. But for tonight, it was perfect.
The notification tone I’d grown to hate blared as the early morning sun peeked over the horizon through my curtains. I gritted my teeth and reached for her phone, but she was faster. She sat up and scrolled through it. I didn’t need to sit there and watch her worry about Rhys. I went to the bathroom and when I came back out the bed was empty.
Noise in the living room led me right to her. I stepped out to see her completely dressed, slinging her bag over her shoulder and reaching for the door. Alarm bells rang in my head, but I didn’t know what was happening. It was the weekend, she didn’t have to go to work, and not this early.
“Where are you going? What’s wrong?”
“I’m not feeling well,” she said, unconvincingly. Something was up. One minute I’m cuddling her and the next she’s ready to bolt. Her body was tense as she stood, her hand still on the door knob.
“Then don’t go all the way home. Stay here, if you aren’t feeling well,” I said, stepping closer to her. She pressed her body up against the door like she hoped she’d be able to melt her way through it. Panic rose in my throat. I didn’t want her to leave.
“I need to get home. Dahlia will worry. Can I go?” she asked, staring down at the door handle.
“Rachel—”
“Can I go, Killian? Please,” she asked, glancing up at me. And then I remembered. The rules. My rules, the ones I’d threatened her with just a little while ago. We were still playing the game. The game I started. A game I’d only thought about winning from the minute I started it, but now winning didn’t hold the same luster. I no longer cared if I won or lost. I didn’t even know if I wanted to play, but I didn’t have much of a choice because right now, I knew if we weren’t still playing she’d be out that door.
“You can go,” I said. My last word was said to the back of her head, exiting through my open door.
“Collect Call from San Quentin Correctional Facility,” the operator said. I sat for a long time staring at it. So long that I almost let it hang up. But my mother’s final words were etched permanently in my mind. I hope one day you’ll know what it means to care about someone other than yourself. What it is to care about family. I hit the green button.
“Finally ready to talk to me, huh?” my dad’s gruff voice barked out.
“I guess you could say that. What do you want?” I asked him.
“I want you to know I’ll be coming soon. There was some hang up with paperwork.”
“You’re not coming here.” Talking to him was one thing, but living with him…my mother’s words continue to burn in my ears.
“I’ll be there.”
“Dad…”
“I’ll be there, son.” He dug that knife in a little deeper. My shoulders sagged.
“Fine, I’ll set you up with a place to live. I’ve got to go.” I hung up before he had the chance to respond.
I texted Rachel again. Still no reply.
RACHEL
I dropped my bag inside my front door, slamming it behind me and scrolling through my phone. There were messages from Rhys telling me to double up my work on getting to the bottom of what was going on with Killian.
I banged the back of my head against the closed door. I couldn’t do it. I was compromising Rhys and all the work he did by being with Killian. Everything I said could be a slip up. I might reveal something without even realizing it. I needed to stay away from him.
I needed to keep my distance because I was playing with fire and I’d already been burned.
“What’s up with the slamming doors?” Dahlia asked, walking into the kitchen, her hair a black nest all stuck to one side of her head.
“Sorry, I—Wait, me slamming the door woke you up? You usually sleep like the dead,” I said, grabbing my mug. She grumbled and then poured a cup of coffee for herself and then filled mine halfway. I dumped a whole lot of creamer into it and then added sugar. Dahlia grimaced.
“I don’t know how you can drink it like that.” She sipped her nearly overflowing cup of black coffee. I put down the sugar and wrapped my hands around the warm mug.
“You like it your way and I like it mine.”
“How was your night with Killian?” she asked, gulping her coffee down. I rushed to drink mine, to buy me some time, but I only managed to burn the shit out of my mouth.
“Damnit,” I hissed, set down my mug, and grabbed some ice out of the freezer, rubbing it on my tongue.
“That good, huh?” she asked, quirking her eyebrow at me.
I hung my head, snapping my eyes shut against the tears that threatened to burst free at any moment.
“I have no idea what to do, Dahl. I’m way in over my head with him.”
“I think he feels the same way,” Dahl said, and I scoffed.
“I seriously doubt that.” I didn’t know anything anymore.
“It’s amazing what guys will do when they are freaking out. How they will do everything in their power to fuck things up to the point that you can’t tell if you love them or hate them anymore,” she said, gripping her mug so tightly her knuckles went white. I had the sneaking suspicion that she wasn’t just talking about Killian and me anymore.
“Anything you want to talk about?” I asked her.
Dahl’s eyes snapped up to mine, like she just remembered I was there.
“What? Me? No, I’m fine. Just tell me if you want me to attach his balls to the car battery and I’m all over it.”
“You don’t even have a car.”
“I have friends. I’m sure I could make arrangements,” she said, rinsing her mug in the sink and stashing it back in the cabinet.
“I’m sure you would.”
“Damn straight. No one screws with my roomie and best friend.” She bumped her shoulder against mine.
“Thanks.”
“What do you want me to do if he comes poking around here?”
“He won’t.”
“But what if he does?”
“I don’t even know. Just promise me you won’t do him any bodily harm. I don’t want you getting locked up. Who would be left to paint the city with exquisite body art, if you’re in jail doing prison tattoos?”
“I mean, they’d be pretty amazing prison tattoos, right?” Dahl loved to tease me, but her smile wasn’t reaching her eyes today.
“They would.” I walked past her, suddenly feeling exhausted, even though I’d woken up less than an hour ago.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, stopping me with her hand on my arm.
“No.” I shook my head. “But I’ll be okay.” I grabbed my music box and crawled into bed with my clothes still on. I wrapped myself in my thick blanket and watched the ballerina dance until I couldn’t hold my eyes open anymore. What will be, will be.
26
RACHEL
Killian: You’re pushing my limits
Me: I’m not pushing anything. We’ve said what we need to say
Killian: No, we haven’t. Not by a long shot
I avoided the rest of Killian’s calls and texts. I dodged most of them successfully and answered with one word replies when he demanded a response. I sat at my desk, freaking out about the developments going on behind the door. The frantic text message I’d gotten the night after the gala had me up and out of Killian’s bed in a flash. Rhys needed help and I needed to try to fix what I’d broken.
Rhys was out, but he’d been in and out today, every time looking more and more upset. I bit my nails down as far as they would go. Until I tasted the coppery blood in my mouth. I never bit my nails, but I kept hearing Killian’s name thrown around and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should confess or try to wait it out. I hadn’t been able to do anything to help him. If anything, I’d probably been so distracted with everything going on with Killian that I somehow made it worse. I wanted to lay my head down on my desk and cry. Better yet, crawl under it and never come out.
The phone on my desk rang and I picked it up.
“I am not this guy, Rachel,” came Killian’s voice in a growl. I glanced at the phone, making sure I wasn’t hallucinating. My heart rate increased and I felt the blood pounding in my head.
“What are you doing calling here?”
“I’m calling you here because you’re refusing to answer my calls and texts. I’m not a stalker, Rachel. I don’t chase after women, but you’ve got me chasing after you.”
“I didn’t ask you to chase me, Killian. I thought my responses spoke for themselves.”
“They didn’t, but you’re going to have to,” he said, hanging up. Immediately, my heart was racing. I hung up the phone in a daze. What did that mean? I sat there, trying to gather my bearings as the elevator dinged. The doors opened and out stepped the man who made my heart stop, but for now it was for all the wrong reasons. The scowl he wore froze me solid. I couldn’t move. I sat at my desk and stared at him, my eyes wide, until he stood next to my desk, glaring at me.
Other people in the office walked by, skittering around Killian. It seemed that everyone had been able to see what I should have known from the moment I saw him. He wasn’t a man to mess with. He was a man to run the other way from.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered.
“I think we should take this somewhere private before everyone here knows just what you’ve been up to after hours,” he said and my stomach turned. I wrapped my arms around myself and avoided the glances from people passing by. There seemed to be a hell of a lot more people walking by since Killian arrived.
I stood and ushered him into Rhys’s office. Rhys had been out for most of the day, so we’d be away from everyone else in there. I closed the door behind me, leaving my hand on the cold metal doorknob, before taking a deep breath and turning to face Killian.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to tell your boss it’s all over. He’s not going to get away with everything he has for so long. There’s nowhere else for him to hide.”
“Don’t do this, Killian. Whatever vendetta you have against Rhys, why can’t you just put it behind you? Let it go. What could possibly be so important that you’d work to destroy a man who’s only done great things in the world?” She didn’t get it. Her loyalty would always be to him. He was the shining knight and I was the big bad wolf. I hated how much that hurt. Then again, how had we met?
I needed to keep reminding myself. My blood boiled that she thought Rhys was some saint. I’d transferred more than enough money into Melanie’s bank account to raise some red flags there. We’d see how he felt once I took her away from him too. I knew how he’d react once he knew it was there. Of course, he was having her monitored because that was the kind of guy he was.
“The only reason he does all this,” I said, waving to every award, plaque, and dedication ribbon in his office, “is because it serves him. It gets him what he wants, which is the blood money his parents made on the backs of the little people they crushed along the way.”
“Killian—” she tried to calm me down, but I welcomed the rage. I needed this. I needed to hold onto it. To never forget it. It lived and breathed in me. I couldn’t let the things he and his family had done to other people go unavenged. Like my mom. She deserved more. She deserved better.
“His parents put my father in jail. They are the reason he was behind bars all these years. They are the reason my mother killed herself.”
“Oh my god.” She reached for my arm, her eyes wide, but I pulled way. I didn’t need her comfort. I didn’t want her comfort. The revelation hung in the air between us. The room was silent like we were inside a vacuum.
She wrapped her arms around herself, like a chill had just gusted through the office.
“No. I’m doing this. He’s wanted to know what I’ve been up to. That’s why he sent you. Here’s his chance,” I said, trying my best to steel myself against the sadness in her eyes.
“Killian, please don’t do this. You don’t understand all the good he’s able to do,” she said, looking up at me with those big doe eyes.
“I’m going to talk to him and give him a chance to do the right thing. To come clean about all the shit he and his family pulled over the years. To confess that he’s a fraud. All I want to do is talk. I’ll do it here in this office, or out there in front of everyone,” I said.
“Killian, please,” she pleaded, but I wasn’t going to listen. “Don’t!” she shouted.
“Call security, then. Pick up the phone, call them, and make this into a huge scene. It will help me. Play right into my plan. Or you let me talk to him.”
“Killian,” she said, her voice wavering. She was playing a game. Toying with me to get what she wanted. I wasn’t going to be ignored. I wasn’t going to let him take away even more people that I cared about. I’d make the choice for myself. And if she’d choose this over me, him over me, then that was it.
She opened the door to his office just as the elevator doors opened across the small waiting area and Rhys stepped out and smiled, shaking hands with employees that walked by. Rachel took a step back and grabbed for my arm, panic in her eyes. She stepped out of the office and looked left and right, like she might make a break for it. That was fine. She turned around and I slammed the door in her face. Her helpless face with wide eyes, staring at me as she froze. I spread out on the couch because I knew it would fucking eat at him.
It was all a blur. His denial of my murder accusation. Him accusing her of using drugs again. It was lies. She was clean, she told me that. And then, before I knew what was happening I had him by the collar. My restraint gone. Our punches landed solidly, my ears rang as I threw another punch, hitting him in the face.
Rhys pushed me away and I charged at him, the two of us going through his glass desk. Fuck. Small bits of glass sliced into my hands as I pushed myself up off the floor.
“I didn’t think you had it in you, Rhys. I thought all that talk about control was just the pussy’s way out of a fight, but look at you. Getting down and dirty with the peasants,” I said, tasting the blood in my mouth.
“You threaten my family, I’ll fucking end you,” he said, seething. His fists clenching and unclenching. I furrowed my brow. I hadn’t threatened his family. What the hell was he talking about?
Rachel burst into the room, her eyes wide with horror and her mouth wide open.
“Oh my God,” she said, her hands covering her mouth. “What did you do?” she shouted at me.
“I told you not to disturb us,” I said, pushing myself up off the floor.
“You just said you wanted to talk. That you had something important to tell him. What the hell, Killian?” she shrieked. And I saw the minute Rhys put it together. His eyebrow quirked up.
“You’re working with him?” Rhys asked, storming over to her. I stiffened as he approached her, but he kept his distance. If he laid a hand on her, it would end ri
ght here. “You’ve been reporting on me to him?”
“What? No, please, Mr. Thayer. It’s not like that at all. I would never break your trust like that. I haven’t told him anything about you.” She pleaded with him and it turned my stomach. No one should ever beg him for anything. Should ever have to prove anything to him.
“You’re done! Leave!” he shouted. Tears formed in her eyes. “And get the fuck out of my office,” he roared at me. I smirked.
“Gladly,” I said, bowing to him. Rachel walked toward me and I reached out to touch her arm, but she flinched away.
“You know where to find me,” I said to her before striding out the door. She’d get over it. She didn’t need this job. She’d come to me. I knew she would.
27
RACHEL
The heat of Rhys’s anger directed at me as he fired me and kicked me out prickled my skin and made it hard to breathe. I hadn’t worked to preserve his legacy, I’d helped Killian destroy it. Instead of doing what I needed to do and stopping him, I let myself get seduced. I’d given into the thrill of what he made me feel. Like I was free falling, but it was only a matter of time until I crashed.
I showed up at Killian’s apartment. The smug look on his face as he swung the door open made me want to punch him. Even with the cut on his lip and bruises on his face, he looked so happy with himself.
He flipped through some papers like nothing out of the ordinary had happened today. Like he hadn’t gotten me fired today.
“Your suggestions about the takeover worked perfectly. Finished up the paperwork today. I am now the proud owner of the final piece needed to make Rose & Thorne mine,” he said, a lazy smile on his face. The cut above his eyebrow was taped shut.
