Out of Control

by Toni J Strawn

  I pushed against him, trying to keep my legs firmly closed. “You’re playing dirty,” I said in mock outrage.

  “Who says I’m playing?” He flashed his dimples.

  The door opened before I could retort, and the driver motioned us out of the car. We untangled ourselves enough to get inside the building, although I turned on Blake in the foyer, shoving him against the wall so I could get him back. I tried to dive into his pants, but he gripped my wrists and lifted my hands above my head.

  “Not here,” he said roughly. “Or I swear to God I’ll shove you against this wall and fuck you right now.”

  He spun me around, my breasts pushed against the cold marble, although it did nothing to cool my heated skin. He pressed into my back, his cock digging into the cleft of my ass. He shifted his hips until the head dug through the fabric and I could feel the burning pressure on my asshole. I moaned, wanting more. I wriggled against the wall, looking for any kind of friction to relieve the pressure. I was so wet, my panties scraped against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

  “Please. I’ll behave,” I croaked.

  “God, don’t you dare.” But he had made his point. He grabbed my hand and spun me around, tugging me toward the elevator. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead and amongst the stubble on his cheeks. His expression was one of barely held resolve as we took the elevator up to my floor. He didn’t touch me. Instead, he spent the short trip staring at my reflection in the mirrored surfaces, his gaze burning into mine.

  Oh, what he would do to me. I licked my top lip and he took a step toward me as we reached our floor.

  Then he blew out a breath. “I don’t think you understand how close I am,” he warned. “One false move and I will not be held responsible for my actions.”

  The doors split open. “Actions have consequences,” I whispered, edging toward freedom.

  “Yes, they do.” He nodded, super serious.

  My heart started thudding and I tore off down the hall to my apartment. I fumbled in my bag, searching for the keys as I heard him come after me. I increased my pace, my heart racing like a baby bird’s. Footsteps pounded. I imagined the heat of his breath on my neck.

  The key slid into the lock, and I expected him to catch up at any second. I was half afraid now, my primal instincts kicking in, warning me something wild and dangerous was just behind me. All my senses were heightened, my breath sawing through my nostrils, the spike of adrenalin a sharp taste on my tongue.

  I made it through the door, slamming it shut behind me—or would have, if he hadn’t rammed it open. He was so close I could smell the musky tang of pure sexual predator. My pulse crashed through my veins and I threw my purse behind me, making a run for my room. Hands grabbed me, and I squealed, then was hauled up against him. He held tight; fear melted away as I felt the familiar line of his body curve into mine. My heartbeat slowed but still pounded, driven by a yearning for other animal desires.

  He bent his head to my neck, kissing my shoulder as his hands found the zipper of my dress. Cool air hit me as the fabric slithered to my feet. He left my panties on, a small scrappy thong, although he toyed with the elastic at my waist, drawing his finger along the lacy line. My bra came next. I let it fall from the tips of my fingers to the floor, then kept my arms outspread, hungering for his touch.

  I let out a gasp when he swept me upward so I was cradled in his arms.

  “What are you doing?” I kicked my feet in a half-hearted attempt to get down.

  “Making sure you don’t escape me again.” He grinned, then stalked forward and dumped me onto the couch. He pulled back and took a good look at me, a heated gaze that sizzled wherever it landed. “Do you know how many times tonight I’ve imagined you here, sprawled out, waiting for me?” His expression was hot and tight, grim determination causing him to frown. “Get on your knees,” he demanded.

  Excitement sparked through me and I followed his orders without blinking, ready for anything he wanted. And I was beginning to understand that he always expected to get what he wanted. Right now, it didn’t bother me. I knew he would only give me pleasure. Or pain of the very best kind. I turned around until I was hugging the back of the couch. My knees sank into the cushion, my feet hanging over the edge.

  The heat of his gaze warmed the backs of my thighs. The finest of shivers trickled down my spine. He had me enthralled, intoxicated by him. For him. I was so keyed up, every cell in my body was desperate for his touch. He could do anything to me now and I would fall apart beneath him.

  He placed his finger at the base of my spine, drew a line down into the cleft of my buttocks. There was no moisture and his finger dragged roughly across the rim of my anus, making me moan. He stopped just shy of my pussy, so close I could almost taste the satisfaction of him slipping his finger inside, I wanted it so badly. I tried to wriggle back against him, but he held me in place with his other hand at my hip.

  “Oh, the things I will do to you,” he warned. His voice was like gravel, and my nipples grew tight and hot at the promise of his dark threat. I was falling farther down the rabbit hole, chasing something that grew more real each time he had me on my knees.

  I expected him to come up behind me, rub his cock against me, tease me, but he didn’t. I gave in to temptation and looked over my shoulder in time to see him sink to the floor. His shirt was off, and I didn’t even know when that had happened. He spread my thighs apart with his hands, at the same time pulling my hips back so my ass was high in the air. When his tongue ran around the ring of my anus I nearly shot off the back of the couch.

  “Hold still.” He chuckled darkly, enjoying my reaction.

  I clamped my lips tight, finding it hard to relax. His hair tickled my ass cheeks and he bent his head more, his tongue slipping along the crease of my pussy, lingering on my clit. I moaned again as he grazed my sex with his teeth, pushing his tongue inside me. He toyed with my ass, fingers and mouth slipping between all the hidden delights, driving me close to the edge. He slid two fingers inside me, circling my ass with his tongue again. I didn’t want to come. Not like this. Not without him.

  “Wait.” I panted, turning around. My knees were stiff from being in the same position, and I nearly fell when I tried to get off the couch. “My legs are sore. Let me lie down.” I bit down on my bottom lip as he helped me to the floor. “No.” I stopped him when he went to move down my body. “Lie on top of me so I can suck your cock while you eat me.”

  Fire sparked in his eyes and he did as I asked, shucking his pants while I stretched out on the floor in front of him. I toyed with my nipples while I waited, pinching at the tips, eager to get my hands on his cock. I wanted to blow his mind. He positioned himself over top of me, his cock stiff and rigid, bobbing near my chest. I wrapped my fingers around his length, drawing him close to my mouth, rubbing the head against my lips.

  I gasped when he ducked down and jammed his tongue into my pussy.

  Fu-uuck. He meant business.

  So did I. A race to the finish. I opened my legs more, moving my hips to the rhythm of his merciless tongue, at the same time lifting my head so I could swallow down his cock. It thickened in my hand, and he rocked backward, forcing his length down my throat.

  I held fast to the base, fisting him in the tight grip of my fingers, licking at his head each time he pulled out of my mouth. He renewed his efforts on me, sliding two fingers deep inside me, scissoring them against the slick walls of my sex. The pressure built inside me and I moaned around his cock, keeping up a fierce beat, blood roaring in my ears to the rhythm of his cock sliding, the slap of his balls against his thighs.

  He rolled, and I went with him, and I found myself on top, with his cock, red and full and angry, beneath me. I took full advantage, driving my head down, fucking his cock with my mouth. He groaned, and the sound vibrated through my pussy, his tongue roughly circling my clit, pressing down, fingers digging into my sex as I ground my pussy in his face. Heat invaded my belly, a gathering storm that tighte
ned my muscles until I was chasing down pleasure.

  I stuttered above him, my mouth open in a silent scream as I shattered, orgasming against his tongue at the same time his cock jerked in my hand, hot come covering my mouth and chin. I rode through my own aftershocks, milking his cock, swallowing down what I could. Afterward, I collapsed against him, my face pressed to his thighs.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard,” he said breathlessly as he stroked my ass.

  I sat up, wiping at my mouth. “Well, that’s the floor and the couch taken care of.” I gave what passed as a grin. “Where next?”

  “Are you trying to kill me?” He fell back against the floor, his arms splayed, and lay there for long moments while we recovered. Then he caught my gaze and his wicked dimples flashed. I braced myself for more fun… Except his attention had snagged on something else entirely. “What’s this?” He got up and pulled the whiteboard out from where I’d tucked it behind a table. “Have you been working on something new?”

  “Not really. Just throwing around some ideas.” I hurried over and took the whiteboard from him, shoving it behind the curtain.

  His expression tightened. “How long can you manage on your own without Mia?”

  “That’s none of your business,” I snapped. I preferred to keep my concerns about my future cloudy and open. Mia’s departure had raised a few questions, and I didn’t need extra pressure from Blake.

  His brows pulled together. “You can’t keep living each day as if there’s no tomorrow. It catches up with you in the end. Believe me, I know.”

  I had the distinct feeling he wasn’t talking about me. Did he think I was like his mother? I choked back a stab of fury. “Not everyone has to be a workaholic, either. I don’t know what I want to do next.” I held up my palms. “So what?”

  “You’ll be left with nothing and I don’t want to see you like that. Damn it, Lila, I care about you.” He crossed his arms, daring me to refute it. I couldn’t, not after what he had shown me tonight.

  I did the only thing I could and made a run for it. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I needed space, a Blake-free moment to get some air.

  He caught my hand before I could make good on my escape. He held my gaze, strong and unrelenting. “Lila, I’m worried about you. Surely you understand that.”

  I tugged my hand free and hurried down the hall, my thoughts stuck in freeze-frame. I’m worried about you. Exactly the same words Austin used to say. Do what I want, listen to what I have to say, because I care.

  I thought Blake had opened up tonight…or had he just been trying to manipulate me, draw me further into his world, as Austin had done? He did things to me in bed in ways I didn’t see from him at other times. He expected everything, but also gave himself fully during sex. Was that all our relationship was to Blake? Just sex? I hoped not. The fact I had feelings for him made the line blurry.

  I splashed cold water over my wrists and palms, trying to catch my thoughts. I’d been looking forward to seeing Blake tonight. The night had started with such promise, he’d made an effort, tried to show me something of himself, and we’d just blown each other’s minds…

  But instead of being light and free, I was left feeling exposed and vulnerable. He was getting under my skin. Becoming important to me. I didn’t want to believe he had shared his past with me to manipulate my feelings, but I wasn’t sure I trusted myself enough to know the difference. After all, I had let Austin in, and look how that had ended.

  I pushed the hair out of my face, damp tendrils sticking to my hand. Blake had his shit together, his life under control, whereas I was still circling, looking for a place to land. In the short time I’d known him, he had filled a hole in my life I hadn’t known existed. I hadn’t expected to feel like this…not after Austin had ripped the innards out of me, leaving me like a half-stuffed toy. As a person with little self-confidence, I’d felt small at the big university where I’d met my ex. I had been susceptible and fallen in love, and he’d taken advantage of that. Correction. I had let him take advantage and take over my life. I’d forgotten how to stand up for myself…if I’d ever really known.

  But Blake wasn’t the same as Austin. I’d never met anyone so sure and confident about himself. Blake did what he thought was best, and he didn’t care what anyone else thought. In some ways that made him a lot scarier. I found myself wanting to please him—not because he demanded it of me, or emotionally manipulated me, but because I liked him. A lot. Sure, he looked out for those he cared about and took care of their needs…but I really didn’t want him to think of me in that way. That I needed him. Because I didn’t.

  I tightened my hand on the rim of the sink, my knuckles turning white. God. I was falling for Blake. My heart missed a beat and the color drained from my face. I could feel myself being sucked into his orbit, and it was like being with Austin all over again.

  Except Blake was so much more.

  Chapter Thirteen

  BLAKE

  I left Lila’s shortly after she came out of the bathroom. Something was up; I’d known it as soon as she returned to the living room. The wild light had left her eyes, the hint of a frown had smudged her brow. Still, she was sexy as hell. The fierce jut of her jaw. Her confident stride. She was, in a word, amazing.

  “It’s been a long day.” I started collecting my clothes, giving her the opportunity to stop me if she wanted to. She didn’t.

  It was hard to walk away. Lila was an addiction, a drug I found hard to give up. But she looked like she needed some space, and tonight I’d shown her the deep darkness of my past. It wasn’t something I had intended to do, but surely now she could understand why I was worried about her. How growing up with my mother had me always looking out for those who didn’t think about life as carefully as I did. The last thing I wanted was for Lila to run out of money and have to go crawling back to her parents and their talk of Austin. That would ruin all my plans.

  She tipped me on my axis, tackled everything she did as though it was the center of her world. Having been in the middle of her sphere, I craved more. Wanted to be bathed in her light. I didn’t want her to leave town. In fact, I would do anything to make it easy for her to stay.

  Finding her whiteboard filled with app ideas told me she was looking for a way back into the industry. I represented the perfect pathway, an ideal opportunity for her to get back in the game. I’d have to give her up if she worked for me, and my gut tightened at the thought. I wasn’t sure I could do that. But I knew of others who would kill for an ideas person like Lila. And while setting her up with my competition wasn’t ideal, it was a more palatable solution than losing her.

  All I had to do was get her to accept my help. She was stubborn and fiercely independent, and I had a feeling she was just as likely to shut down and refuse to listen to reason. A bit like Declan.

  He had flipped out when I told him about Mia. Thank God he hadn’t aimed his anger at Lila, but I had barely stopped him from rushing off after Mia to the bottom of the world. Declan wasn’t in a good space, but I didn’t think it was all about Mia. She was just a convenient outlet.

  I went to work the next day still wrestling with my slowly evolving issues. I needed to fly to L.A. to deal with Mason and check in on Declan. If I could get Lila to go with me, she could meet with some of the firms I was in touch with there. It would be harder for her to say no if they made her a serious offer. Everything was done remotely these days, so her working from Wellsford shouldn’t be an issue.

  I chewed over a few names of the execs I trusted, and put in a couple of calls, saying just enough to whet their appetites and agree to meet with her. While she might take it as me being high-handed, I didn’t see a problem when it benefited everyone. Lila needed a job, and I could set her up in an office in my building if she wanted, have her working beside me, not for me. That was what mattered most. She had to stay here in town. She had become important to me, and I didn’t want her disappearing.

  I put a call through t
o her. I didn’t believe in wasting time once I’d made up my mind.

  “Sorry about last night,” she said, sounding pleased enough to take my call. “There’s been a lot going on, with Mia leaving and everything.”

  “I’m sorry, too.” I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for, but I did feel a little stab of guilt. However, it didn’t stop me asking, “Why don’t you come in to my office and I’ll take you to lunch?”

  “I’d like that,” she said, her voice warming.

  I gave her the address and headed down a floor to the working center of my company. The entire level had been opened to create one big space, except for a row of breakout offices along the far wall. I tried to work down here as often as I could to make myself accessible to the team. My young, fresh-faced talent kept up with modern trends better than I could, and they knew the market because they were the market.

  I was oddly excited to share where I worked with Lila. The teenage boy inside of me who’d come from nothing was proud to show off what I’d achieved. Maybe she would realize how much she was capable of, too. She would fit in perfectly here. Me, I’d always been the sensible one, the one who’d kept Declan in check, looked after my mother while I could, kept my nose clean. It had gotten me this far in life.

  “Hey, Blake, there’s someone here to see you.”

  I didn’t need my PA, Frankie, to tell me Lila had just breezed in the door. The moment she arrived, a buzz of electricity had tripped off my skin, heightening my senses. Being around her brought something into my life I’d been missing. She was a breath of fresh air in an existence which had gone stale.

  She walked in, swinging her hips in one of those short-but-not-too-short skirts she favored, her knees barely in shadow, a suggestion of long, shapely thighs and a slim waist. I gazed at her hemline a few beats, and when I raised my gaze to her face, she winked. She knew exactly what I’d been wondering.

  “Thanks, Frankie, I’ve got it from here.” I strode forward, taking Lila’s hand in mine, pumping it up and down in a greeting.