They made their way down the stairs to the observation deck across from the falls, both of them taking pictures as the water poured over the rocks to the creek bed below.
Colton let out a deep breath. “This was a good idea.”
She smiled at him, relieved he felt that way.
He smiled back and walked over to her. Putting his arm around her, he maneuvered so their backs were to the falls and held his phone up in front of them.
“See, I was right about the selfies.” She immediately snapped her lips together, afraid she had said something wrong again.
He nodded. “You were.” He leaned into her, resting his head against the top of hers.
She leaned her head into his shoulder and smiled at his phone as he took a few shots of them. The moment he removed his arm from around her, she missed it.
Colton tapped a few times on his screen.
“You’re not going to share that, are you?” she asked.
“Already did.” He turned to face the falls again.
“What?” Her pulse quickened.
“Shared it on my story.”
“Are you serious?” She opened Snapchat. Sure enough, there was an update from Colton with the picture of them in front of the waterfall. It was a cute picture of them. She fought back a smile as she took a screenshot, then gave him a disapproving look. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
His eyes shifted to her for a moment then back at the cascading water. “What’s the big deal?”
“Your girlfriend and the rest of the school,” she replied.
“What about ‘em?”
“I’ve had enough trouble with Lexi in the past. I really don’t need any more right now.”
He looked at her curiously. “What kind of trouble?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
He faced her head on. “Natalie, what?”
She hesitated. “I told you we used to be friends, but what I didn’t say was that she made seventh and eighth grades hell for me.”
“How?”
“Pranks. Mean texts. Threats. Anything she could think of to humiliate me, she did it.”
Colton’s mouth dropped open.
“I eventually found ways to stay out from under her radar, and I had a good support system in Olivia and Trinity and my dad. So, yeah, I got through it. But I don’t want anything to do with her anymore, and—” Her phone started going off right then with messages from Lexi and her two best friends, both named Hannah, calling her every variety of name they could think of. She held it up for Colton to see. “I’m pretty sure you just opened up that can of worms for me again.”
His eyes widened. “Sorry. I didn’t know.” He pulled her into an unexpected hug, which took her breath away.
It was over too soon—his arms around her. She gazed up at him as he let go. He looked legitimately sorry and, in that moment, she felt like he really did care about her.
Colton’s phone went off with messages from Lexi as well. He hesitantly turned the screen to show Natalie the long string of messages, one after the other, demanding an explanation for why he was with Nasty Natalie.
“I told you.” Natalie had grown and changed and matured since middle school, but it was obvious that Lexi was still the same girl she had been back then. Mostly, she felt sorry for Lexi now, but part of her feared the repercussions of Colton’s post.
Colton dialed Lexi’s number, and she answered immediately.
Natalie could hear her screeching voice going on and on, not giving him a chance to speak.
“Lex!” He rolled his eyes as she babbled. “Alexis, let me speak!” There was silence for a few moments while he waited for her to stop. “We got in a car accident this morning and missed the bus. The accident was my fault so I owed it to Natalie to get her there.” He stopped and listened. “No.” Another pause. “Stop. Right now. Stop talking. I want you to hear me when I say this … are you listening?” He paused. “Good. Leave Natalie alone. She did nothing wrong, and she doesn’t deserve this. You and your friends stop texting her or we’re going to have a bigger problem.” Another pause. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
A blush crept over Natalie’s cheeks. He was defending her. To Lexi. And it felt really really good.
“We’re going to try to catch up with the buses tonight at the hotel, so I’ll probably see you in a few hours.”
A little niggling feeling hit Natalie in the gut. Only a few more hours with Colton. Only a few more hours together.
“I’m hanging up now.” He hit “end” and tucked his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry about that. Let me know if they bother you anymore.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” But she was grateful that he had.
“Yeah, I did.” His mouth curved up in an apologetic smile.
“Thanks.”
Colton walked over and leaned against the railing. “I’m sorry about earlier. You just … hit a nerve.”
“I could tell,” she said. “And whatever that was about, I’m sorry.”
He was quiet for several long moments before he wandered over to a bench and took a seat.
Natalie joined him, and they stared at the falls, listening to the crashing of the water against the rocks, watching a few visitors come and go.
Colton opened his mouth several times as if he was going to say something, then closed it again when he didn’t.
“I don’t know if you remember my brother,” he finally said.
Natalie’s heart skipped a beat. Everyone knew about Chris Daynes, Colton’s younger brother. The entire community had been shocked when three years ago, at the age of thirteen, he took his own life. Was this why Colton was upset? Something to do with his brother?
Her mouth went dry. “I didn’t really know him.”
“He was my best friend and a way better person than I’ll ever be.”
She had an overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around him, to comfort him. “I’m sure you miss him a lot.”
“Every day.” He stared at the waterfall.
Natalie didn’t know what else to say, so she simply sat with him, hoping he would open up to her. The minutes crawled by without a word spoken until seven of them had passed.
“It was my fault, you know.”
The words that broke his silence broke her heart.
“No, it wasn’t, Colton. You can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes, I can, because I’m the reason he killed himself.”
8
The King of Everything
Natalie was speechless. Her heart was in her throat.
“Chris kind of kept to himself most of the time,” Colton told her. “He didn’t have a lot of friends, besides me. Not like I did.”
Natalie watched Colton as he spoke, wringing his hands and bouncing his right leg nervously.
“He, uh …” Colton cleared his throat, maybe to hide how choked up he was getting. “Well, he wasn’t good at sports like I was. He wasn’t good in school with his grades like I am. Dad was constantly comparing us, making him feel worthless.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re the reason.” She wanted more than anything to convince him.
“When he … ” Colton stopped, his chin quivering.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Natalie laid her hand on his arm, and he grabbed hold and sandwiched it between his large hands.
“He left a letter … explaining … and one thing he said was that he couldn’t live up to ‘the greatness that was Colton, the king of everything’.”
Natalie’s shoulders sank. It was her use of king that had triggered this. “Colton, I’m so sorry.” She could tell he was trying to hold in the tears.
“So, yeah, that’s why I freaked out earlier.” He took a deep breath in and let it out. “I haven’t let myself think about his letter for a while now, and it just kind of hit me, I guess.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
He nodded, and a tear escaped down his
cheek.
She wanted to reach up and brush the tear away. “I can’t imagine what you went through and how hard it must still be.”
He chewed on his bottom lip. “Some days I don’t know what I’m doing any of this for. Most days I just want to stop.”
Natalie’s heartbeat picked up pace. “Wait, you don’t mean stop, like the way your brother did?”
“No.” He squeezed her hand that was still nestled between his. “I mean football and the scholarship. Knowing all my successes made him feel so bad about himself makes me not want to do it anymore.”
“I’m sure there was more to it than that, Colton. Deeper reasons within your brother’s mind that made him feel the way he did. Maybe even chemical imbalances. Sometimes people are broken inside, and they just want to stop hurting. But it’s not your fault. And you can’t stop living because your brother made that choice.”
His head dropped, and warm tears dripped onto her hand. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he let go and turned into her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She circled her arms around his waist and held on while he cried into her neck. This was definitely not something she expected to happen on this trip, but if she could help him, it would all be worth it for this moment.
When the tears finally subsided, he loosened his grip and leaned back to look at her. “How do you know so much about this?”
“My mom is clinically depressed.” Most of the time, she avoided talking about it, but he had been so open with her, she felt she owed it to him. And maybe sharing some of her story would help him. “She’s been in and out of hospitals for as long as I can remember. Since I was a little girl.”
He took her hand again, as if to comfort her this time.
“So, I’m no stranger to the damage depression can do. It’s the reason my mom left us, the reason my parents divorced … the reason she tried to kill herself. And it took me years to understand and come to terms with it. And to stop thinking it was my fault.” She gazed over at the falls. “It never gets easier, though.”
“So that wasn’t your mom at the car today?”
“Stepmom,” she replied.
They sat in silence, holding hands, listening to the sounds of nature.
It wasn’t easy to talk about her mom or let any of the memories back in. Dad had always told her it was best to focus on the future and not dwell on the past. But as she thought back to the years after her mother had left, those years when Lexi had made middle school so rough for her, she remembered the depression and anxiety she had experienced, and it made her wonder. Could her mother’s condition be hereditary? Could she have some of those same inclinations?
She took in a deep breath as Colton squeezed her hand.
“That sucks about your mom.”
She nodded. “That sucks about your brother.”
“I’ve never told anyone about Chris’s letter before.”
Her heart warmed at his admission. “I’m glad you told me.”
“So am I,” he replied with a smile.
It felt natural to be sitting there holding hands with him, like they were meant to be there at that moment in time. Natalie was calmer than she’d been in a long time, especially after the stress of gymnastics Nationals.
Colton exhaled and let go of her hand. He stood and walked over to the railing, looking down at the rough terrain that sloped toward the creek. “We should climb down there and get closer to the falls.”
Natalie’s eyes widened. “What? No way!” She pointed at the signs warning not to leave the marked paths and observation deck.
He glanced over at her with a devious smile.
“Too dangerous,” she warned.
But it was too late. Colton was already climbing over the railing and dropping onto the hillside below.
“Colton, come on.”
“What’re you so worried about? You’re a gymnast. Can’t you just do some kind of jumps and flips and land down there on that rock.”
Natalie giggled. “I’m a gymnast, not a ninja.”
“Climb on up there and show me what you’ve got.” He smiled up at her.
“Sure. I’ll get right on that.”
“Please.” He stuck his full bottom lip out and gave her a pout that melted her resolve.
Natalie glanced around and noticed the people who had been there a few minutes before had headed back up the trail, and they were now alone. She laid her hands on the flat top of the wooden railing and shook her head. What am I doing? Coach Joe would kill me if he found out I was doing this.
“Nat-a-lie, Nat-a-lie,” Colton began chanting.
And up she jumped.
9
Stupid Choices
Natalie raised herself up as if mounting a balance beam. She walked forward and did a little of her routine, expertly turning, pointing her toes the best she could in Chuck Taylor’s, her arms moving gracefully along with her to keep her balance. If only she had taken a few ibuprofen with lunch, her neck wouldn’t be feeling so stiff at the moment. She focused on the falls ahead, knowing she shouldn’t be doing this after the trauma she’d experienced, but she arched backward anyway, hands coming into contact with the railing, body moving effortlessly in a perfect back walkover. She closed her eyes, hoping it would mask the pain.
“Go, Nat!” Colton cheered.
Natalie tried not to smile, keeping her focus on balance and tuning everything else out as she had been taught, but it felt really good to have Colton cheering her on. She stepped back and took a breath before a switch leap and split jump combination, landing solidly back on the rail. Her neck muscles spasmed on impact, and she swallowed down a groan.
“You make that look so easy.” Colton didn’t seem to notice her reaction.
“I’ve been competing since I was six, so it’s taken years to make it look like that.”
“Whoa! Twelve years? Impressive.”
“I pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe gymnastics.” She crouched to jump down.
“What else you got?”
A dull throb had returned to Natalie’s head, but she stood again and glanced behind her at the railing, similar in width to a balance beam—maybe even an inch or two wider. She took a deep breath and held her hands up above her head. Her neck twitched again, but she couldn’t lose face. Swinging her arms down with the bending of her knees, she threw them back over her head and pushed off the railing, arching her body then pulling her knees close in a back tuck. She extended her legs to meet the railing again, and pain shot through her neck, disorienting her for a moment. The rail was also a bit wobbly for such an impact, and Natalie teetered toward the edge, flailing her arms in an attempt to right herself. Graceful was the word on her mind as she lost balance and fell sideways toward the creek.
Colton moved at lightning speed, his arms shooting out to catch her, the weight of her body knocking him backwards into the brush, weeds, and rocks below. He groaned on contact.
“Are you OK?” She propped herself up a little from her position sprawled across his body.
He reached up and brushed her hair back. “Are you?” He sat up a little, putting their faces inches from each other, her body firmly planted in his lap.
Natalie could feel his heart beating through his shirt.
His hand moved over her shoulder, along her arm, over her hip and thigh as he examined to see if she was hurt. “You’re bleeding.”
She looked down at his hand on her knee and saw what he had discovered—a rip in her jeans and some scrapes from the rough landing. “It doesn’t hurt. Just a little scratch.” Her head and neck hurt worse than that did.
Colton shifted to get up and groaned again.
“You should let me check you.” She climbed off of his lap and onto her knees next to him. “Turn.”
He turned his body toward the creek, and she immediately saw red seeping through the fabric.
Hesitantly, she grabbed the bottom edge of his t-shirt and lifted it up.
He peered over his
shoulder at her, his eyebrow raised. “Like what you see?”
She softly slapped his shoulder. “I’m trying to see why you’re bleeding.”
He chuckled and faced the creek again.
She lifted the shirt more to reveal a long cut under his left shoulder blade. “You must’ve landed on a branch or a rock or something. We need to get this cleaned up.”
“Yours too.” He stood and held his hands out to her. “I think there’s a first aid kit in the car.”
She grabbed hold and let him help her, losing her balance and leaning into him.
There was real concern in his eyes. “You sure you feel OK? You’ve been through a lot today.”
“I feel fine.” Another lie.
He squeezed her hands, then the two of them climbed up to the deck and made their way back to the car.
Colton popped his trunk and rifled around inside until he found the first aid kit. He opened the passenger door, and Natalie sat down sideways in the seat and rolled up her pant leg. She was feeling woozy, but she didn’t want to worry Colton with it.
“No blood on the leather,” he teased.
He crouched down next to the passenger side of the car with alcohol wipes and antibiotic ointment in hand. “Give me your leg.”
“I can do it, Colton.”
“It was my fault you got hurt.” The concern had returned to his eyes.
“I’m the one who climbed up there, so I have only myself to blame. Besides …” She waved her hands in front of his face. “I still have the use of these.”
“I asked you to do it, so let me help you.”
“Fine,” she replied reluctantly.
Colton tenderly took her leg in his hands. They were warm against her skin, and the butterflies took off in her stomach.
She slowly breathed in through her nose, trying to ignore the way her body reacted to his touch. She was sure it was one-sided, that being this close to her had no effect on him, but she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be in his arms, to be his, to kiss him and hold him and …
The alcohol wipe rubbing over her scratches caused a quick intake of air between gritted teeth.
18 Hours To Us Page 5
