by Leigh Riker
“Hurry,” she shouted as the back door slammed. Then Meg heard a scramble on the steps followed by a loud “oof.” Mac entered the kitchen again with Teddie squirming between him and Gabe Morgan.
“Thought I’d ask if Kate’s offer of lunch was still open,” Gabe said, holding fast to Teddie’s arm. “Didn’t expect to run into this escapee.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” Meg said. “Thanks, Gabe.”
“No problem.”
He and Mac had met the first day after he arrived, and Gabe looked him over again now. Mac returned the stare, the air suddenly full of testosterone. “Maybe you’d rather eat your lunch at the barn,” her ex drawled.
“Mac,” she said in a chiding tone.
Teddie struggled until Gabe released his arm. Seeing an opportunity, he was about to take off again, possibly for the front door, when Meg blocked his way.
“Go to your room, Teddie. Now.”
His mouth turned down. “Are you going to tell my mom?”
“Yes, and she won’t like hearing how you’ve misbehaved.”
“I don’t care! You’re mean!” He stormed past her to the stairs.
Meg waited until he’d slammed his bedroom door, then turned to Mac. “I appreciate your help, but I can manage from here.” With Kate gone, she would have to make Gabe’s lunch.
Mac stared at Gabe. “You should go. Meg and I have important things to talk about.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but Gabe met her eyes. He’d never said or done anything specific to make her think he had a real interest in her, but in that moment, she saw resignation in his gaze. “He’s right,” Gabe said, then opened the door. “Tell Kate thanks, but I need to go into town anyway. I’ll eat lunch at the café.”
Mac watched him go, the door shutting softly behind him. “I’ve been meaning to ask. What is he to you?”
“Kate’s foreman. Period. I can’t believe you were that rude.”
“Seems like a nice enough guy, but you’re more than Kate’s aunt to him.”
“And what is that to you?” Meg blew a wisp of hair from her face. “Why are you hanging around? I realize we haven’t talked—”
“Gee, I noticed there never seems to be a good time. You’re better than Teddie as an escape artist. Until we do talk, I’m not budging.”
“You still have a job, right?”
“I took a short leave of absence so you and I could iron things out.”
Meg couldn’t quite believe he was serious. Mac loved to fly; he’d never switched his schedule for her before.
“The new and improved Jonathan McClaren,” he murmured.
“Mac, I’m flattered that you came all this way, that you want to somehow patch things up. But I’m not interested.” Although he could be a dear at times. He’d been good with Teddie. Mac would have made a great father.
His tone was flat. “You aren’t.”
“I’ve made a life for myself here.”
“Have you?”
The start of one anyway. “I’m a big help to Kate with Teddie.”
“Great work this morning,” he pointed out.
“I know, but he’s been awful ever since Noah went to New York.”
“Because he and Kate couldn’t ‘work things out.’ Which, as I’m sure you’re about to tell me, is none of my business.” He gestured between them. “You and I, however, are.”
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
“Exactly,” he said. “Same goes. Now we’re getting somewhere.”
“Mac, I won’t change my mind. I’m happy here.”
“You were happy enough in Chicago until you suddenly seemed to notice I wasn’t there half the time. You were okay until...the baby. So what else is it, Meg?”
He had her there. “Something I haven’t wanted to confront, I suppose.” She needed to be honest with him, with herself. “Mac, you always...remind me of my parents. I know, that’s neurotic and at first, I thought—hoped—I could get over the worry I felt every time you left home, that constant fear of something terrible happening—”
“That is neurotic.”
Meg couldn’t disagree. “I mean, you fly in a metal tube tens of thousands of feet up in the air. So many things can go wrong, and I can’t help how I feel. When I was a kid, I always had that fear of watching my mom or dad, sometimes both of them at once, leave me behind—” she felt a band of steel around her ribs “—not knowing if I’d ever see them again.”
His voice gentled. “They were army people, Meg. Warriors. I’m a commercial pilot in an industry with an excellent safety record. Flying is far safer than driving a car—banal statistic, I know, but it’s true.”
“I still worry. And after Rob was killed—”
“Not in a plane.”
“—I went a bit crazy. Don’t you see? Even in a different manner, Kate’s loss could become my loss too.”
Mac came closer. “Rob was walking down the street, and a minute later, he was dead. Safety’s an illusion, him being a prime example.” His eyes held that same warmth and understanding she’d first fallen in love with, the look that seemed to tell her everything would be all right forever. “Sweetheart, I never realized you had such fear. Which must mean you care about me, a little.” He hesitated. “Listen. If you want me to, I’ll...resign, give up flying for the airline. I can always teach. Because what I don’t want to give up—the divorce made me see what I can’t lose—is you.”
Tears filled Meg’s eyes. “You’re serious.”
“I’d do anything to have you back.” He cracked a smile. “Even beat that guy Gabe to a pulp if I have to.”
“That won’t be necessary. There’s nothing between us.”
“Not that he wouldn’t like there to be.”
“You men,” she said, blinking. “Mac, I don’t need you to sacrifice what you love—flying, I mean. That’s a part of you that I fell for, but in the end—”
“It’s not the end, Meg. Please.”
“We were over when—as you bluntly mentioned—the baby died. That was real, not in my imagination, and if we’d had any chance before, after that we didn’t. Not only were you not there when it happened, you came home, then left again as soon as you could.”
“I had to. I was on the schedule.”
Meg scoffed. “See what I mean? The airline would have given you compassionate leave, I’m sure. Did you even ask?”
“I don’t remember. All I do remember is you shutting me out. I couldn’t reach you, Meg. You turned away, grieved without me. You don’t think I heard you crying? Saw the shattered look in your eyes every time I tried to approach you?”
“You had your priorities. See above.”
“We’re talking about our baby. You don’t think that unborn child was my priority too? That you weren’t?”
“No,” she murmured. There. He wanted to discuss everything that had gone wrong? Finally, she’d said it.
Mac let out a breath. “Meg, I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to hold you.”
“Instead, you packed and left. As you always did.”
“Yeah, but you want to know why? Not only because I couldn’t comfort you.” His gaze looked blurry. His voice sounded husky. “I didn’t know how to comfort myself, okay? I’m not the kind of guy to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I couldn’t watch what was happening to us. That was an excuse, I know that now, but I felt...somehow I’d failed you but didn’t know how to make anything better. And you wouldn’t let me try.” He paused again. “What happened to us—not only to you—was terrible, and I hope that never happens again, but I’m miserable without you. We could try to have another baby—not to replace the child we lost, that’s not possible, but to go on...together. I want you back. I love you, Meg.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“You s
till do love me? After all the grief I’ve given you?”
He cradled her face in his hands. “You have—and yes, I still do. Love you.”
How many times had Meg wished her parents would leave the army? That their family could stay intact, always? And actually, it had. Her parents had both survived, retired from the military with full pensions. Her fears had seemed valid once, but she’d been a girl, not a woman then, and now, Mac had just handed her his heart.
What else could she do? He was right. She did care about him. Meg moved deeper into his embrace, raised her mouth to his and felt she was truly home. Sweetheart Ranch would always hold a special place in her heart, but her place was with Mac. The only man she’d ever wanted, the man she loved.
He was right about that too. There were no guarantees—except for that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
KATE CAME BACK from town to find her aunt and Mac locked in an embrace, and it seemed apparent they’d been that way for some time. Meg looked radiant.
“We’re staying—or rather, getting back—together,” she announced. “I’m not going to change my name after all. I never took that next step after I looked into the process—which should have told me something.”
Kate hugged her but felt her spirits sink. She already missed her aunt and best friend. “That means you’ll be leaving for Chicago.” It must be the week for people to leave.
Meg rattled on, oblivious to Kate’s mixed feelings. “Temporarily. Mac will begin flying out of Charlotte in the spring. Cutting back on his schedule. A nice change, don’t you think?” Her eyes sparkled like the brilliance of her engagement ring, which along with her wedding band was now on her finger again. “Kate, I do hate to leave you—but we’ll be house hunting there soon. Can you just see me in a gorgeous Southern-style home with gobs of crown molding?”
“Sounds lovely.”
Mac said, “In the meantime, we need to get our house in Chicago ready for market.”
“I’m not looking forward to that,” Meg said, “but I’m so excited!”
“Obviously.” Kate hugged her again, then Mac. “I’m happy for you both. I didn’t really want to lose my favorite uncle-in-law.”
Mac grinned. “You won’t lose either of us. The welcome mat in North Carolina will always be out.” He must see, though, that Kate was fighting tears. “We’ll put a swing set in the backyard, how’s that? Or one of those elaborate climbing things, for Teddie.”
“And maybe one of our own.” Meg grinned. “We’re going to try for a baby again.”
“Oh, Meg. You’re both so dear to me. I’m glad things worked out.” But the words had sounded choked, and Kate’s throat tightened.
Meg’s glowing smile faded. “You’ll be all right?”
“Of course. You’ve been a tremendous help. With Teddie too.”
“Speaking of... He’s been banished to his room.” Meg explained the flying circuit of the house, the brownie crumbs everywhere. “Including, I’m afraid, the carpet in the living room. I cleaned as well as I could on the first pass—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to Teddie. I can’t believe how badly he’s behaved all week. He’s not himself.”
“But you do know why.”
“Yes,” Kate admitted. She felt that way herself.
“You know the solution.”
“Meg, we’ve been over this—”
“And you haven’t yet called Noah to straighten out your own relationship.” She turned in Mac’s arms to give him another kiss. “If we can do it, anyone can.”
Kate wasn’t sure she agreed. She’d made herself clear before Noah left. She hadn’t heard from him since. “I don’t see how.”
Meg slipped from Mac’s embrace, then set her hands upon Kate’s shoulders. “Call him. Make Noah happy—and yourself. Teddie too,” she added. “Or, are you really going to hole up here at Sweetheart Ranch forever—fine as it is—living on memories of Rob, your mother’s abandonment, your dad’s accident? All of that took people you loved from you, but there’s something else for you, waiting. That doesn’t mean betraying Rob’s memory. Don’t you think he’d want you to make a new life?”
“Without him,” Kate murmured, yet her thoughts didn’t focus now on Rob. She envisioned Noah’s face, his expression when they’d said goodbye. Maybe it was indeed Kate who’d made things impossible between them. I wanted you near me, even when I knew I could never have you. Had she been clinging, as Meg said as well, to the past? To her own sorrow over Rob, her guilt? Maybe they never would have reconciled but divorced then gone their separate ways except for his court-mandated time with Teddie. She would never know.
“Noah was right, wasn’t he? He told me Rob was no cowboy, that he wanted off this ranch, but I pressured him to stay.”
“Because that seemed safer for you.”
“I was wrong, Meg. I would have had Rob stay even when he was unhappy.” She’d tried to force him to make a choice that wasn’t right for him, protected herself, as she always did, for fear of losing again. But that’s exactly what did happen. She’d lost the last six months of his life too. “What kind of love is that? We were great together once, but sadly that’s over now.”
And at last, Kate knew. Like Meg, she had to begin to truly live again. Not only for Teddie’s sake but for hers too—perhaps the best way to honor Rob’s memory. Kate had thought once, briefly, of taking her son on a weekend trip or a real vacation, but her imaginary plans had now changed.
“I’m not calling Noah.” Kate paused for another moment, as if perched on the edge of a high cliff. She didn’t know if there would be a bottom, but she jumped anyway. “I’m flying,” she said, “to New York.”
* * *
TWO NIGHTS LATER, not quite knowing where he was, Noah landed again in Kansas City. With a sense of déjà vu, he rented a car, then drove toward Sweetheart Ranch. He was here early for his brother’s second wedding next week but had other personal business to tend to first. At least it wasn’t snowing, the roads were clear—and this time, he didn’t dread seeing his family. But he had no idea how to approach Kate, as he had so casually in the airport before getting snowbound together in that first blizzard.
He felt so jet-lagged after his turn-around trip to London and the late-night celebration for the branch-office launch—smashing success!—before his flight back he could hardly see. He was knocking at her front door before the right words came to him. As usual.
Meg answered and her eyes brightened. “Noah.”
“Is Kate home?”
“Kate’s always home. Or she has been. Come in.” Meg called up the stairs, “You have an important visitor,” then vanished into the family room, where Noah could hear obvious sounds of some musical movie from the TV. Bollywood, it sounded like.
Kate came down the stairs, a dress hanger over one arm and a sweater draped around her neck. Her dark hair looked mussed. Her gaze shot to his, and she froze. “Oh. Noah. I was just packing.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” he began, but he wondered if he’d heard right. Travel? Where could she be going? Kate laid the clothes on a small chair in the entryway. Noah couldn’t read her expression. “Teddie asleep?”
“Yes. I hope.” She arched an eyebrow. “He’s been a madman—”
“Ever since I left?” But her answer to the question he’d blurted out might not be the one he wanted. “Kate, I know we didn’t part on the best of terms. I know you thought that was goodbye—me back to New York, you staying here—”
“Wait. I think we need some privacy for this.” She turned, then led him to the opposite side of the house from the entry and family room. She indicated a seat in the more formal living room, but Noah remained standing. He shrugged out of his overcoat, flung it over a chair, then shoved both hands in his pants pockets. Kate seemed to feel awkward too.
“You, um, look the same,” s
he murmured, eyeing his three-piece suit, “as you did when I met you in the airport that day.”
“No jeans and flannel shirt tonight. I was in London.”
Kate hadn’t taken a seat, either, as if she didn’t expect him to stay long. Or was thinking of tossing him out. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned their heart-to-heart talk. Had he really expected her to throw herself in his arms? “Oh, London,” she said. “You mean for the branch office?”
“Yeah. Everything went well there, but I’ve spent most of the past couple of days on a plane. A quick in and out of the U.K.—” His voice dropped low, his tone pleading. “Because of you. Kate. I didn’t finish saying what I need to the last time I saw you. I love you. I think I’ve always loved you, and I’m through trying to hide that even from myself.”
She half smiled. “I thought I was the one who hid.”
“In a different way.” Noah didn’t care now that he didn’t have the perfect words. He spoke from the heart. “I might not convince you this minute to give us a real chance, but if I have to commute between Manhattan and Barren every weekend, every holiday, every vacation I have, hell, every personal day or when I’m running a raging fever—I won’t give up. No matter what, I’ll be here. I’ll wear you down until you can’t say no.”
Her eyes softened. “That sounds drastic. What if you don’t have to convince me?”
Noah blinked. “You mean—”
“Why do you think I was packing? Where do you think I was going?”
Not to New York, surely not. Kate hated the city. She’d gone there once—for that wedding—but hadn’t changed her mind. She’d told him so. Still, hope burst in his chest like a flower opening up.
“You were coming to see me?” Noah shook his head. If that was true, and he prayed it was, he’d made this wretched trip halfway across the world and back without needing to. Noah took a tentative step toward her, and Kate took another, then they were in each other’s arms.
“I don’t need to pack now. You came to see me first,” Kate said.
“Plus, I wouldn’t dare skip my brother’s wedding next week. I understand you’re a bridesmaid.”
