But just know ya never will
And you can try to stop my stumbling feet
But I just cannot help it
Cause the ground keeps moving
Round and round
And my coordination sucks
Cause my limbs aren't stout
I was lost til' I heard about zombie zest
Then I found my way
Precious & Zeb singing:
Cause you can't stop the beat
Ever since this stupid attack began
I've broken several of my nails
All because of a stupid man
And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy them
The best that I can today
'Cause you can't stop
Our body parts from falling off
Unless you take a chance on Fabio
He's whipped up an amazing zombie cream
That's gonna change your life today
All the zombies singing and dancing:
'Cause you can't stop the beat
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
"Bravo! Bravo! You guys are going to kill it tonight during the real performance," Fabio praised.
Cecelia watched the admiration blossom on the older man's face. He was like a proud papa, who’d just seen his newborn for the first time. Camille wasn't any better. She was applauding louder than Fabio. Had they spent all night working out this routine, because she had to give them credit, it was pretty damn good. The words were a little strange, but given they were zombies, it worked.
While the music had been a surprise, that's not what had her WTF meter going off. Nope. It was the new look the zombies were sporting. Camille had been right. She wasn't sure what ingredients Fabio had used in his zombie zest cream, but the stuff was amazing. Reb's eyes were no longer red-rimmed. His hand wasn't falling off. The scar on his neck looked a little lighter. Precious's hair was glossy and flowing down the middle of her back. Her nails were on point, and the outfit she was wearing would have made any woman envious. Cecelia was sure Camille and Symone had a lot to do with it. Although Jeb was dressed like a woman, he didn't look too bad. You wouldn't have recognized him if he’d shaved his beard. Zeb had turned out to be a hottie dressed up like a nerd. He no longer wore his glasses, which meant someone had bought him contacts because his eyes were a beautiful emerald green. His once limp body was now strong and powerful. Scawdy looked as though he could have been a model or a football player. Either way, the man was smoking hot. Gone was the rotting flesh, missing ears, and broken limbs. How had they done all of this in less than twenty-four hours was beyond her? There was a part of her that couldn't wait to see the rest of the show tonight.
Cecelia had been so busy admiring the zombies that she hadn't realized Dillen was now standing beside her. When he opened his arms, she stood and walked right into them. "How's Ariel doing? Did you have a good talk?"
"She's doing better than I am. When I think of what everyone was willing to risk in order to save me, it's very humbling. How did I get so lucky?"
"You're a good person, Dillen. Why are you shocked that your family and friends would want to help save you? If the roles were reversed, I have no doubt that you would have done the same thing."
"Sometimes, you floor me with your insight. It's part of the reason I love you so much."
"Good, because I love you too."
"Hearing you say that never gets old. Enough about me. Tell me what's going on with the zombies."
"Didn't you hear? They're putting on a musical tonight. Fabio came up with a zombie cream to prevent their body parts from falling off, so that they could dance, sing and dazzle us with their talents. They’re considering taking this act on the road. She's excited because in less than 48 hours she's been able to check off two of the items on her bucket list." When Dillen gave her a questioning look, she continued. "She's experienced a Zombie Apocalypse, and is now directing a play off-Broadway."
"Is it me, or do you feel like we've just entered the Twilight Zone?"
"You've traveled into another dimension. A dimension that includes singing zombies, a zombie bride, cats who slurp their nads, and the musical Hairspray. The exit sign is just up ahead. Your next stop, The Twilight Zone."
When Dillen started laughing, she did too. "
"What are you guys laughing about?" Symone asked.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. The costumes look great. You've done an amazing job."
"Thanks. So, are you two finally a couple?" Symone asked, curiosity written all over face.
Before Cecelia could respond, Dillen pulled her closer and said, "Yes, ma’am. We are finally together."
"Well, it's about damn time. Hey everyone, look who finally got their act together," Symone yelled across the backyard.
Cecelia tried not to blush when everyone started clapping. She was grateful when everyone turned to see what all the commotion was about.
Boba Fett, Jango Fett and Fat Bastard were in the corner slurping their nads, which she'd learned was the norm for them. The commotion started with Fat Bastard decided to proposition Precious.
"Precious, you looking girl," he said in a gravelly voice. "Why don't you give Fat Bastard a go? I'm scrumpilicious."
It seemed as though everyone except Fat Bastard realized he'd stepped over the line. Everyone watched as Precious preceded to put Fat Bastard in his place. Hips swaying, she walked closer to him and said, "I'd rather lick a toad’s ass than your nads, Fat Bastard."
Not to be outdone, Fat Bastard was quick to respond. "Gurl. You only wish a toad's ass could be that good. It's your loss, sweet thang. I don't give second chances, so don't come running when you realize what you're missing."
"I must admit Fat Bastard, your offer is tempting. Unfortunately, I've had enough smelly balls in my face to last me a lifetime," Precious replied before turning and walking the other direction.
Cecelia watched as everyone in the backyard started laughing. Precious's smack down didn't seem to faze Fat Bastard in the least. He strutted back to the corner and began slurping his nads again. Yep, they'd definitely entered The Twilight Zone.
The next couple of hours was spent putting the final touches on the set, preparing the refreshments, and making sure the zombies' costumes fit. Fabio, Camille and the zombies were a nervous wreck, so they'd decided to whip a spa in Sophie's backyard. There were relaxing massages, facials, mani-pedis, and zombie zest cream. Lots and lots of zombie zest cream.
"Remind me again why we have to keep putting this stuff on," Jeb asked in a disgruntled voice.
"Because before that stuff, every time you rolled your hips, your damn torso went flying into the audience. We want to kill them with our performance, not your body parts," Fabio replied.
"I guess. It'd be a helluva lot easier to put this crap on if it was in a spray form," Jeb countered.
"You know, Jebediah, that's not a bad idea. In fact, I could make a fortune if I came up with a cosmetic line for zombies. But, we'll need a better name because zombie zest just won't do. I know what we'll call it… ReNude… because it's like a second skin. It also sounds expensive, which means I could make a killing if I corner the market," Fabio exclaimed. "This day just keeps getting better and better. Who knew I was such an entrepreneur?"
"You're something all right," Zelda said, as she took another cookie from Camille and enjoyed her massage.
"I'll remember you said that when you want to go shopping in Paris, daughter dearest," Fabio said with a smirk.
"Did someone say shopping? We're in," Zoe and Zara yelled in unison.
Cecelia shook her head and chuckled at the siblings’ antics. She should have been worried about what Bertie was up to, but her foot massage was too intoxicating. All she wanted to do was take a nap after the kind woman finished rubbing her feet. If no one else was worried about Bertie right now, then she wouldn't either. Bridezilla wo
uld show up soon enough. It was the one thing she was positive about because the crazy woman had her heart set on Dillen. He'd been right this morning. They couldn't change what had already happened. All they could do was wait and play the next hand they were dealt. She was just glad she didn't have to do it alone.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The night was filled with electricity in the air. After the sneak peek during rehearsal earlier in the day, everyone was buzzed about tonight's debut musical, Hairspray: Zombie Style. Cecelia couldn't have been happier for her friends. They'd always been the Three Musketeers until Scroogess came along and joined their little family. When she looked around at everyone smiling, laughing, and enjoying one another's company, she knew, this is what life was really about--family, friendships and love. Her heart swelled with love and was overflowing with joy and happiness for all of them. For the first time ever, she was able to truly let down her guard, relax and enjoy the moment.
"It's good to see you smile," Dillen whispered in her ear, as he pulled her against his chest.
Instead of running away, she leaned back, closed her eyes and sent up a thank you to the Goddess and Fates for sending her such a kind, caring man. She knew they were connected through their bond as mates, but it was more than that. Dillen not only loved her, but he also got her, which was so refreshing it made her eyes well with tears. She'd waited for what seemed like a lifetime for a man to get her. How could she have been so stupid to run away from him all these years? Camille and Symone had been right all along, but she'd save that little confession for later. Right now, she wanted to enjoy the show and relax with her friends and loved ones.
When the fairy lights started blinking everyone took their seats. Sophie's backyard had been transformed into a beautiful amphitheater with comfortable seating, a bar for refreshments, and twinkling lights that accentuated the moonlight. Cecelia had never experienced a more magical night in her entire life. When the lights dimmed, everyone settled in for the show.
"We need to limber up people for the dance scenes. I can't have body parts flying off in the audience. It would totally ruin the effect. I mean, let's face it, no one wants an arm landing their buttery popcorn tonight. We need to learn to control those muscles people because it's Showtime," Fabio yelled, which had everyone in the audience laughing.
"That's our dad, always the subtle one," Zara said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
When they started raising the curtain, everyone quieted down and watched with anticipation to see what would happen next. The show started off with You Can't Stop the Beat: Zombie Style. Cecelia had to give them credit because they were even better. The costumes brought the whole effect together and had everyone standing at the end of the song. Precious and Reb bowed and then ran off stage, hand in hand.
"Looks like we're not the only who's made a love connection," Dillen whispered in her ear.
"I think you're right. I have to admit, they do make a cute couple," Cecelia replied, as she laughed at the antics on the stage.
The next song, Good Morning Bass Ackwards, was performed by the entire cast. It was so entertaining that the entire audience was singing along. The next number was Zeb singing Miss Bass Ackwards Crabs. When he implied he had crabs, the entire audience burst into laughter. But the show stopper was Precious and Jeb, singing Welcome to the 60s. Who knew the big man had so many moves? Fabio was just about to announce the intermission when he was suddenly interrupted by a familiar, yet annoying voice that grated on every nerve Cecelia had left.
"Bravo!" Bridezilla yelled from the side of the stage. "No one told me we'd be performing before dinner," she said, licking her lips.
"Take a hike, Bridezilla. No one invited you," Jeb replied, no longer afraid of his nemesis.
"Jebediah, I'm hurt. Is that any way to speak to the woman who made you who you are today? We used to be so close. I don't understand how all of you could turn on me after all I've done to help you."
"The only thing you did was make our life a living hell, which is where you belong," Precious yelled from across the stage.
Shaking her head in disgust, Bridezilla turned to address the audience. "Young people, they simply don't have any respect these days."
Cecelia watched as Dillen stood to confront their nemesis head on. "What do you want, Bertie?"
"Dillen. Lover. I think you know what I want. Or, should I say who," she replied with a wink that looked more like something was in her eye.
"I told you when we first met that was never going to happen."
"We'll see about that lover. The night is still young. Besides, I haven't had a chance to woo you with my song from this sham of musical. It's called, The New Girl in Town. Hit it boys."
Bridezilla singing:
Hey look out for that zombie bride
Driving down the street
You better lock up your man
Before he meets
The new girl in town
"Did someone turn an entire cast of dancers and singers into zombies because I gotta tell you, this shit is getting freaky?" Zelda asked, as she bit into her turkey leg. "Entertaining, but freaky as hell."
When the song was over, everyone started clapping. It was then, Cecelia knew they had walked into another dimension because no one could make this shit up. Not even on their best day.
"Are we fighting or dancing?" Symone asked.
"To be honest, I'm not quite sure," Cecelia replied, confusion written all over her face.
When everyone settled down, a new voice came from the forest to the left of the amphitheater. Cecelia wasn't sure if the new stranger was friend or foe. All she could tell through the darkness was that he desperately needed some of Fabio's zombie zest. His skin was more of a dingy light green than a pearly white like the rest of the cast. His eyes looked a little maniacal and it was obvious he hadn't gotten the memo about what to wear. But that wasn't what had tripped her out the most. Instead of singing a tune from Hairspray: Zombie Style, he'd chosen I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. It tripped her out because he sounded almost like her, only in a deeper voice. She was a fan of Showtime at the Apollo and had watched many a contestant get booed off the stage for trying to imitate Whitney. But this guy, he could be a contender.
The other thing that intrigued her was his connection with Bridezilla. Did they know one another? Although it had seen better days, he was wearing a dusty, bloody, torn tuxedo. What in the hell had Dillen stumbled into when he died?
"Leon, is that you?" Bridezilla asked with a sob.
"It's me, Bertie. I've waited centuries for us to be reunited. What took you so long woman?"
"Hold up. Are you telling me we've been stuck in hell with this crazy-assed woman because of you, Leon?" Zeb yelled.
"Do they all know each other?" Cecelia whispered to Dillen, who shrugged his shoulders.
Everyone's attention was glued to the stage, as Leon took his place beside Bridezilla. When he kissed her on the cheek, his bottom lip drooped a little, but the smile on Bridezilla's face was magnificent. She transformed into zombie Cinderella in a matter of minutes.
"Why am I not surprised he's the asshole who jilted her at the altar?" Jeb asked, as he turned to look at Zeb.
"Do you really want to know why you're here, dear brothers? You're here because I was in an accident on my way to the church and died. The witch granted me one final wish, so I took her up on her offer."
"Leon, please tell me you didn't," Bridezilla gasped.
"Damn straight I did. These three have been a royal pain in my ass since day one. I was never good enough to hang out with them. They were always dad's favorite because they were his first family. I was the bastard castaway. I got so sick of him always pushing me to be just like them, especially when they never wanted me around."
"That's not true, Leon. We begged dad to let you come and visit. He always told us no. It was his doing, not ours. When we got older and tried to reconnect, you turned us away. Eventually, we gave up. That part is
on us, but the rest isn't," Reb said.
"I had no idea," Leon said regretfully.
"Now that dad's out of the way, maybe we all should give it another try," Reb suggested.
"I'd like that," Leon immediately replied. "It's been lonely without you guys. I'm sorry I told the witch I wanted you to suffer and roman the Earth feeling as lonely as I did when I was a child. It was in the heat of the moment and I was angry that I wouldn't get to marry my true love, Bertie."
"Aw, Leon. You're still the man of dreams," Bertie replied.
"Do y'all remember this being part of the movie, Hairspray? Sassy asked. "Because I'm pretty sure they've gone completely off script. Know what I mean?"
The tension in the air burst like a hot air balloon and everyone started laughing. Cecelia wasn't sure what in the hell had happened on the stage, but it looked like the Zombie Apocalypse had come to an end. In 48 hours long lost lovers had been reunited, impending doom had been averted, and a new musical sensation had been born. Now, they had to figure out what to do with the zombies since they couldn't be returned home.
EPILOGUE
Several bottles of wine later, some good food and a whole lot of laughter, they were working on a plan. Cecelia's head hurt from all the suggestions flying back and forth. When all this was over, she'd vowed to sleep for a month. Dillen said he didn't care, as long as there was a space for him. If she didn't reign this crowd in and soon, they'd never come up with a plan. She was ready to go home. It was nice having a warm bed and a hot man waiting for you. It was definitely something she could learn to get used to.
"Guys, everyone's thrown their opinion into the hat except the people who are affected by this decision. Let's ask them," she suggested.
"Score one for CeCe," Camille yelled, as she took another sip of her wine. Her friend was on cloud nine.
She turned and looked at the crew of misfits. "I'm sure you guys had dreams before you died. Tell us about them."
Witchin' Up the Dead Page 8
