He turned to go but seemed to change his mind. “Damn it, Soorya!” In the next instant I was hauled against his chest, and his mouth clamped over mine, hard, demanding, ruthless. His arms around me felt like iron bands. The breath swept out of my lungs as his teeth scraped my lips and his tongue plunged in and plundered my mouth. It was a punishing, bruising kiss, meant to inflict pain.
I didn’t want to feel anything other than anger and contempt. But despite my efforts at keeping a tight rein on my weaker emotions, something uncoiled inside me. Need slammed into me with the force of a gale. With my limbs turning weak, I instinctively leaned into him. He felt warm and hard, and he smelled wonderful, like fresh herbs in a country garden.
Grabbing the lapels on his coat with both hands, I held on for dear life. I’d never felt so needy in all my life, so helpless, so desperate for a man’s touch. I needed this man so damn much, it was painful. A knife thrust into my heart and twisted again and again would have been less agonizing.
In spite of the havoc he was creating in my brain and heart, I never wanted the kiss to end.
Nevertheless, before I could respond appropriately his mouth abandoned mine. I staggered when his arms unclamped me. For a second he held my shoulders to steady me, and then let go.
His voice was a whisper. “I’ve had it with your attitude, Soorya. Go ahead, get on your high horse and stay there. I refuse to beg anymore. Good-bye.”
With that he turned on his heel and left me standing there, stunned, my sense of balance still uncertain, my heartbeat thundering, and my ego in shreds. I watched him stride down the street and enter the parking garage on the corner, the tails of his coat flapping in the wind.
He didn’t hesitate or look back. There was a certain finality to his gait.
I stood rooted to the spot, shivering uncontrollably. Oh my God! Roger was gone from my life.
Chapter 28
I continued to tremble, the panic rising. Was Roger gone for good? I put my fingers to my lips. There wasn’t any blood there but they felt tender and swollen—like he’d put a branding iron on them.
To go to the extent of bruising my lips Roger had to have been pushed to the extreme. He wasn’t a violent man by nature. That much I knew. Had I turned him into a brute?
But then, how dare he talk to me like that? And how dare he use me as a punching bag with that cruel kiss? And damn it all, why was I obsessing over his feelings in all of this? Several minutes later, I still stood on the sidewalk, huddled against the chill, still fuming.
And yet, the rage was minor when compared with the fear of losing Roger forever.
Once I recovered somewhat from the shock of that kiss and his parting words, I slowly went back inside the restaurant to face my parents—and Roger’s family.
The second they saw me approaching they stopped talking. Then they all stared at me in silence. The women looked wide-eyed and anxious, the men curious.
Too mortified to meet the Vadepallis’ gazes, I stood in front of the group with my hands in my pockets and turned to my parents. “Can we go home now, please?”
Renuka gave me a suspicious look. “Where’s Rajesh, Soorya?”
“He went to the cast party.” I could tell they were all dying to know what had occurred between Roger and me. Perhaps my swollen lips had given away some of what had happened? If they had guessed, they wouldn’t say anything, anyway. Folks like ours didn’t openly talk about such matters.
Dad recovered quickly and said, “Sure, princess. I’ll be right back.” He pushed his chair in and walked over to the front desk to settle the bill. Mr. Vadepalli sprang to his feet and followed him. The others at the table turned their gazes on the men, shifting their attention away from me. Thank you, God.
The restaurant was small enough and quiet enough at the moment for us to hear the men arguing. Mr. Vadepalli pulled out his wallet and grabbed my dad’s wrist. “Pramod, this is my treat—my son’s debut. Please let me pay. It’s the least I can do.”
Dad slapped his shoulder with a grin. “Next time, Venki, when we come to visit you, I’ll make sure we go to the most expensive place in Kansas and make you pay, my friend.”
“You promise?” Mr. Vadepalli put his wallet back in his pocket.
“Of course. You’re a rich man, Venki, and I plan to take advantage of it,” said Dad with a good-natured chuckle. After Dad signed the credit card bill, I saw the two men put their heads close together and have a whispered conversation, none of which I could hear. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out they were talking about Roger and me.
What other kind of upheaval were the two old men cooking up now? Hadn’t they created enough chaos?
I stood with my face to the window, rocking on my heels and pretending to be absorbed by the street scene visible through the tinted glass. That way I could avoid looking at everyone at the table. But I could feel their eyes on me, like laser beams fixed on my back.
Finally, after some more whispering, Dad and Roger’s father returned to the table. Everyone shuffled to their feet and put on their coats. I was dying to get out of there. With all those silent, speculative looks aimed in my direction, the room felt stifling, like the walls were closing in on me. Even the two waiters were still eyeing me.
We said our good-byes standing on the sidewalk. While the rest of the folks hugged and shook hands and promised to call each other, and my family wished theirs a safe flight back to Kansas, I limited my farewell to two words: “Good night.”
But Renuka took my hand and held it between both of hers. “It was lovely meeting you, Soorya. I hope you’ll stay in touch.” She fished out a card from her purse and pressed it in my hand. “E-mail me when you get a chance.” She whispered in my ear, “Call me if you need to talk. Anytime.”
Despite the sincerity in her eyes, I merely put the card in my purse and gave her a polite smile. I didn’t trust my voice to say anything civil at the moment.
Dad walked to the parking garage with the Vadepallis while Mom and I waited outside the restaurant with Pamma. Several minutes later, I noticed Renuka’s husband at the wheel of their rental car as they drove away, waving at us. Dad brought our vehicle around to pick us up.
I settled in the backseat beside Pamma and closed my eyes for a blessed second. How had a pleasant day morphed into a total disaster in an instant? Earlier that evening, when I was getting dressed, I’d been excited, looking forward to having a good time.
It had turned out to be delightful at first, but had plummeted and crashed sometime during dinner. Finally, it had turned into the worst day of my life.
I sat in silence as Dad drove us home. Mom, in the passenger seat next to him, tried to start a conversation. “That was such an exciting play, wasn’t it?”
Dad nodded, trying to help her along. “Even Amma seemed to enjoy it.”
“The rice pulao at the restaurant was a bit undercooked, but the rest of the food was pretty good. What did you think, Soorya?” asked Mom, obviously babbling to draw me out of my surly mood.
But I had nothing to say. I kept my gaze focused outside the window.
Pamma took my hand and stroked it. I reclaimed my hand and thrust it inside my coat pocket. I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Although I wasn’t sure why I was mad at Pamma. Her only offense was that she liked the Vadepallis, especially Roger. And that fact more or less made her my enemy, too—at the moment.
After a few more failed attempts at getting me to thaw out, Mom gave up. We drove the rest of the way like silent ghosts riding in a phantom automobile.
When we got home, Pamma announced that she was going straight to bed. But before heading for her room she cupped my cheek in her wizened hand. “Baby, too much anger is not good. You think about everything very careful like, okay? You are a big girl now. You must have little more understanding.”
Ignoring her counsel, I peeled off my coat and headed for the staircase. I needed to be alone and wanted to reach the sanctuary of my room as quickly as I could
.
I couldn’t stand to spend another moment with my parents. They were schemers of the worst kind. How could they treat me like a sack of potatoes to be given away? Was I that much of a burden to them?
As I undressed and brushed my teeth with enough vigor to make my gums bleed, I felt something rising within me. All the teenage rebellion that had leached out of my system sometime ago was seeping back with a kick.
Looking at myself in the mirror while I removed my makeup, I made the decision to call Lou. The heck with convention and the unwritten code of behavior for young women.
No one was going to arrange my life for me. No one. I was born and raised in a free country and I had a right to live like other Americans. I could make my own decisions—mistakes included—and carve out my own life.
I’d invite Lou to go to dinner with me tomorrow. And then I’d seduce him. I could at least try, couldn’t I? He was certainly attracted to me. He’d admitted it the day we went to Little India. He’d found me kissable enough despite my stuffed-up nose and puffy eyes. He’d surely find me doubly enticing when I was healthy and looking my best.
In spite of my earlier misgivings about Lou never being able to fit in with my family, it was that very fact that made him the ideal man for my plans. My parents would never accept him—at least never wholeheartedly. Perfect.
Now wouldn’t it be a great big surprise for Lou if I took the initiative in the matter? I’d make him forget his precious Lynne while I was at it. It was time he got over his dead wife and moved on. It was time I forgot about Roger and moved on as well.
It would be a real date this time. I’d make sure I enjoyed every second of my time with Lou.
And later, I’d tell my parents about it in excruciating detail.
Chapter 29
I dressed very carefully on Saturday afternoon for my dinner date with Lou. Wearing a black wool skirt, turquoise top that showed a bit of cleavage, and subtle makeup, I looked my very best. With a dose of antihistamine, I could even indulge in a squirt of perfume. My calf-length suede boots were the perfect finishing touch.
Lou and I were going to meet near his home in Hamilton. He’d been a little surprised at my suggestion but was delighted that he wouldn’t have to drive much and neither would I. He was going to pick me up at the Princeton Junction train station and we’d have dinner at a cozy restaurant on Witherspoon Street, close to the Princeton University campus.
As I descended the stairs and went to the hall closet to grab my coat, Mom came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “Going to a party?” Her expression said she approved of my outfit—despite the risqué neckline.
“I have a date.”
“That’s nice,” she said. “I’m glad you’re not angry at Rajesh anymore.”
“I’m not meeting Rajesh.” I pretended to rummage in the closet for the right coat. It was hard to make eye contact with my mother.
“Is it someone Dad and I know?” The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable.
Just then Dad emerged from the powder room off the foyer, making me groan inwardly. Now I’d have to face the two of them.
“Did I hear something about a date, princess?” Dad queried. I had a feeling he’d hurried out of the bathroom as soon as he’d heard me mention it. His hearing was keen.
“Yes.” I drew a quick breath and looked squarely at both of them. “I’m meeting Lou Draper for dinner.”
“Oh.” Mom’s mouth stayed puckered for a moment before the puzzled look set in. “The man who brought you to the hospital?”
“Correct.” I buttoned up my coat.
Dad’s eyebrows plunged. “I didn’t realize you had a personal relationship with that man.”
“I do. That’s why we’re having dinner together.” I wanted to tell them about my previous date with him in Edison, but I refrained.
“Where?” demanded Dad.
“In Princeton.” I pulled on my gloves.
“You’re driving all the way to Princeton? There’s still some black ice on the back roads.”
As if I hadn’t been driving on icy roads for years now? I sighed long and hard. “No, Dad. I’m only driving up to the station and then taking the train. Lou’s picking me up at the Princeton Junction station.”
Dad threw me a pointed look. “You’re sure you know what you’re doing, Soorya?”
“Positive. I’m thirty years old and getting older and wiser by the minute,” I quipped.
That didn’t stop Dad. “But have you given any thought to the consequences of seeing a man like that?”
“You mean because he’s black?”
“That and a few other things, like his family background. You don’t know anything about his personal life, do you?” Dad had to be bristling underneath the controlled façade.
“Welcome to the twenty-first century, Dad.” I smirked. “How many of your rich and famous patients are black?”
“Quite a few,” he replied with enviable calm. “That doesn’t mean they’re part of my family.”
“Well, who knows, you just might end up with a black son in-law someday.” I slung my purse over my shoulder and started toward the door leading into the garage, feeling a perverse sense of satisfaction at seeing my mother wince. “By the way, Lou’s a widower.” I threw my parents a beatific smile. “A mature and experienced family man.”
“If this is your idea of getting even with your mom and me and Rajesh, I pray that you come to your senses before you do something you’ll regret, Soorya.” There it was again. He’d called me Soorya. His quiet voice told me he was trying hard to keep a lid on his temper. If I were much younger, he’d have lashed out at me.
Nevertheless it was my temper that erupted right then. I turned on them, my eyes burning. “It’s my life to mess up, isn’t it? I’m sick and tired of being a good Telugu girl whose Mommy and Daddy have to pay some guy a huge dowry to take her off their hands.”
For once Dad became quiet, probably because he’d never heard anything this crushing coming out of my mouth since I’d reached adulthood. His expression slowly changed from controlled annoyance to dismay.
He stared at me in silence, his hands clenched into tight fists. Mom looked like she’d received a blow to her stomach.
But I’d come this far, and I wasn’t about to back down. “I’ll be late coming back. Don’t bother waiting up for me.”
As I opened the automatic garage door and got behind the wheel of my car, the wicked gratification I’d felt a moment ago began to recede.
By the time I parked at the station and ran to catch the train, which was just pulling in, a strange sense of numbness settled over me. I’d hurt my parents like never before.
Their wounded faces were all I could picture in my mind, all the way to Princeton Junction.
After I got off the train, seeing a smiling Lou waiting for me on the platform thawed my brain a little. He looked and smelled good, like a man eager for a date. He gathered me in his large arms, gave a me tight hug, and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m so glad you called. I’d been resigned to spending a lonely weekend.”
“I’m glad, too.” I told myself I was very glad indeed.
As we got into his Explorer and drove toward Princeton, I managed to tuck away most of my misgivings beneath a cheerful veneer. This was my date, my evening, my chance to enjoy them as I saw fit.
We chatted easily during the drive along Washington and Nassau Streets, about Pamma’s improving health, about my work, Lou’s work—everything but the reason why I’d called him out of the blue.
He didn’t ask. I didn’t tell. He seemed pleased that I had called. And that was enough.
The restaurant was small but packed. I let my eyes roam around the place after we were seated at a table. “Popular place.”
“It’s always crowded, especially on weekends. They get reservations weeks in advance.”
“How’d you manage to get reservations on short notice?” I asked.
“Clout,” h
e bragged. “A friend of mine is a chef here.”
“So that’s your secret,” I said, looking at the wine list the waiter had left us with. After some deliberation I decided to stick with my Diet Sprite while Lou ordered a glass of Merlot.
The food was delicious, charmingly served in old china. My Greek salad and leek soup were seasoned to perfection. Lou pronounced his prime rib excellent. I was quiet through dinner, listening to Lou talk about some of the more interesting things he’d been doing lately.
As I smiled and deliberated and commented appropriately on his anecdotes, Dad’s words began to come back to me. You don’t know anything about his personal life, do you? I knew about his life, all the way from childhood, and yet, I didn’t really know a whole lot about the man’s personality or character beyond what I’d seen so far.
A couple of times Lou looked at me curiously. “Are you okay? You’ve been very quiet,” he remarked.
“I’m fine, Lou,” I assured him. “It’s nice to hear another attorney talk about his work for a change.”
That and a second glass of wine had spurred Lou into talking some more, which was fine with me. I was getting more and more introspective instead of participating actively in my much anticipated date.
By the time Lou had his coffee and insisted on picking up the tab despite my offer to split the hefty bill, my spirit was all but gone. I kept seeing my parents’ pained faces. Thank goodness Pamma’s face was missing from that mix. That would have made it worse.
It will get better later, I advised myself. Lou was likely to kiss me, if nothing else, and then things would heat up—get really interesting. My feminine instincts would kick in, just like the last time he’d kissed me.
I would have a great time yet.
“Is everything okay, Soorya?” Lou asked again as we walked back to his car, careful to skirt around the icy spots on the sidewalk.
“Yeah, sure,” I said, looking up at a small patch of sky visible beyond the cluster of tall roofs and treetops. It was a clear night. “Just wondering what time it is.”
The Full Moon Bride Page 27
