by Cole, Fiona
"You know I do," I said with a smirk. He was delicious. Broad chest, slim waist. The definition of arm porn. Scruff that I loved feeling between my thighs.
"Why don't you lose the dress and make it even?"
I bat my eyes in an innocent look. "But you tore my panties from me, and I haven't put new ones on yet. I'd be completely naked without my dress and that wouldn't be even."
"Carina," he growled. "Take it off."
I fisted the sides of my dress and worked it up slowly, moving backward and around the couch to tease him, staying out of his reach. I loved that he wanted me, and I never doubted his desire. But I would have given so much for him to have fallen over my back earlier and kissed up my neck as he stayed inside me a little bit longer. For him to be desperate to remain close to me.
He lunged for me, and I jumped away with a laugh just as the doorbell rang.
"Better get that," I sing songed.
"How am I supposed to answer the door with this?" he asked, gesturing to the long erection tenting his pants.
"Well, I can't get it. I'm naked." I whipped my dress over my head before strutting down the hall.
"Fucking tease."
If it meant he continued to crave me, I'd tease him all day.
I tossed my dress in the laundry and threw on some skimpy shorts and a thin tank top. Who needed sexy lingerie when your nipples could be hinted at through the threadbare material?
Walking out into the living room, I found Jake on the couch, his eyes glued to CNBC. He had his feet propped on the coffee table that was covered with takeout. He'd already claimed the container he was currently eating out of with chopsticks. Probably the chicken lo mein I knew he loved so much.
I grabbed a box of chicken and veggies and perched on the other side but stretched my legs across the cushions so I could tuck my feet by his hips. I poked his side with my toe, loving the way his abs rippled in reflex.
He smiled at my antics and grabbed the remote, watching for a few more seconds before muting it.
"You don't have to mute it if you're watching it."
"I want to talk with you. Otherwise, I'd just go back to my apartment."
"You're just being nice," I said, openly fishing for compliments.
"Whatever. You're my best friend. I wouldn't be anywhere else."
My head dropped down to look into my container, trying to hide my hurt expression. I wanted him to say ‘my lover' or ‘my future' or anything more than 'best friend.’ I could say with ease that I loved Jake. He loved me too. I knew he did. I just sometimes doubted it was the kind of love that would take us all the way to our wedding.
"Are you ready for the meeting at Voyeur next week?" I asked, abandoning my search for compliments.
"As ready as I can be. We still haven't been given a whole lot of information on what it is. Even after we signed the NDA."
"From what I can tell, it's not a sex club…but also a sex club?"
He chuckled at my vague description. "I do know you can't pay to have sex there. I guess it's like live porn."
I was excited about this project because Jake and I got to work together on it, allowing us more time to spend together. Sometimes we were just ships passing in the halls and only seeing each other across a conference table most days. Add in the sexual aspect of the job and sparks were bound to fly between us.
Jake and I always connected during sex. We were both open to trying new things and never judged the other. The freedom and acceptance we got from each other were the foundation of our romantic relationship. Maybe Voyeur would give us something new to try and give the reminder that we were so much more than friends.
Just thinking about live porn had me moaning. "Fuck that's hot."
"Your vegetables?" Jake joked.
"Shut up." I laughed and pushed my toes into his ribs again. "Don't act like it doesn't turn you on. You like it when we watch porn together."
"It could definitely be interesting," he agreed with a glint in his eye.
I wanted to pounce on him all over again. Have him growl dirty words in my ear and make me explain to him in detail what I wanted to watch. My skin warmed and my muscles clenched.
But a bucket of cold water was dumped on my arousal when Jake quickly jumped right back to business. I took a bite of my food to hide my disappointment.
"Did they give you any more names of the people we'll be working with?"
"Just Daniel Witt. But one file mentioned something about another guy investing in the new bar we'll be setting up and some other employees."
"I guess we'll find out soon."
He took one last bite of his lo mein and I got lost in each lump of his abs as he leaned forward to put it on the table.
"Well, let me help you clean up and then I should get going."
He went to stand, but I reached out to touch his wrist, making him stop and look over at me.
For a moment I got lost in his blue eyes, trying to see what was behind them. Trying to see what he saw when he looked at me. His lover? His friend? His future wife?
"Carina?" he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Stay."
"Okay," Jake said with an easy smile.
Maybe I'd been imagining the distance. Maybe I was overthinking everything. Maybe he saw a future with me.
But when we went to bed, he rolled to his back without reaching for me. I laid there watching his profile, listening to his breaths, knowing I wasn't the only one feeling the distance between us. But I worried that I was the only one concerned by it.
Maybe I just needed to ignite the fire between us again. Turn us back toward the path of lovers and away from friendship.
"I love you, Jake," I whispered into the darkness, not even sure he was awake to hear me, but needing to say it regardless.
"Love you too," he answered back, not turning to look at me.
The tone reminded me of the first time he'd said it. We'd been at a bar after work with some friends. "I love you, Carina. You've got to be the best friend I've had in a long ass time."
He'd been expressing how much he cherished my friendship.
And nothing more.
3
Jackson
I'm late. I'm late. For a very important date.
The Alice in Wonderland phrase rolled through my mind as I jogged down the hall at Voyeur. I was to meet Daniel ten minutes ago to prepare for a meeting, and there I was about to stroll into his office, not even having looked at the folder I meant to study last night.
I knocked on his office door to announce my presence. Just as I went to open it, the file almost slipped from my fingers. Fumbling the papers to keep them all in, I pushed through the door and closed it without looking up.
"Hey," I stated out of breath. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was a bitch today."
"Jackson," Daniel's formal tone had me drawing my eyes up to him, "I'd like to introduce you to the marketing team from Wellington and Russo, Carina Russo and Jake Wellington."
As if in slow motion, with my heart trying to choke me, I lowered my gaze to take in the two people sitting in front of Daniel's desk. I saw the brunette first as she turned to me with a smirk like she found my entrance hilarious. A playful spark flashed behind her eyes that had me fighting a smirk. My playful soul recognized hers and liked it.
But then I slowly shifted to Jake Wellington, the playfulness Carina had conjured slipping down to the pit of my stomach.
Jake freaking Wellington.
My skin tingled, hyper-aware now of the man, knowing what I'd find before I even took him in. Tall. Broad. Dark blond hair. Piercing blue eyes. Lips that were soft and kissed like my best wet dream.
I wasn't disappointed as I scanned him from head to toe but was pleasantly surprised to find full scruff surrounding those lips that hadn't been there a few years ago. Fluttering kicked up in my stomach just seeing him. Even after the past we shared and the hurt he'd given me, I still couldn't fight the way my heart beat a little bit harder in my chest.
Our eyes finally met and his held me locked in place. White noise surrounded me, blocking out everything but him. The tension increased, and I had to fight the urge to rub at my skin from how tangible it was. I wondered if he could feel it too.
From the look on his face, he only felt shock. I wanted to sink into his bright blue eyes and enjoy the moment before the bubble broke and reality came crashing back, reminding me that we weren't friends anymore. That we weren't friends because of me. Reminding me that no matter how much I wanted him, Jake wasn't gay.
"Jackson," Daniel said, jerking my attention back to him. He nodded slightly to my right. Fuck, the girl. What was her name again? It didn't matter. Pushing Jake from my mind for now, I shifted my body and turned on the charm. It didn't matter if it was business, I always gave a pretty girl my best smile.
"Hi." I'd expected her to be short with how petite her body was, but when she stood she came closer to my eyes. Pretty impressive considering I was six-four. I slipped my hand into her outstretched one. "I'm Jackson Fields. I'll be the manager over at Voy."
"Carina Russo." Her voice was soft but firm. "I'll be in charge of the marketing."
"Fantastic." I gave her another smile. Then it was time to turn my attention back to Jake. Taking a deep breath to better prepare myself, I tried to hide the naked emotions he'd evoked a moment before. Tried to hide the residual anger from him abandoning me.
I turned my body and gave him the same charm that I'd given Carina. I figured the emotion racking my body would be less apparent if I treated them the same.
Getting the pleasure of watching him squirm was always an added bonus. When we were friends in college he'd just laughed at my antics, rolling his eyes at every innuendo.
"This is my partner in crime for the project, Jake. He'll be in charge of analyzing the business here and the best set-up for the new bar."
"We've met before," I said, reaching my hand out to him. His eyes widened a fraction, and even beneath the scruff, I could see his jaw clench. My smile slipped, and I tried to ignore the pinch of pain. I knew he'd avoid our past, but it still had the power to hurt.
His hand wrapped around mine and the rough calluses rubbing against my own sent shivers up my arm. The sensation was gone all too soon when he pulled away as fast as possible without anyone noticing. There was that pinch again. I thought I'd enjoy his discomfort more as I did then. Instead, each jerk or flinch from him hit me in the soft places between my ribs.
Taking pity on the both of us, I omitted college and went with our kind-of run-in from a few years ago.
"I've helped with some accounting issues for your company before. Ran into Jake there."
He seemed to take his first real breath since I'd walked into the room.
I'd never forget the way my heart had stumbled over itself when I'd seen him in the hallways of the office. I'd also never forget the way he'd given me a curt nod and bolted. I'd spotted him a few times the week I'd been there to work, but I'd been pissed by his initial reaction and kept to myself. I'd seen him around the corner, in a meeting room, walking down the hall, and I'd duck away or pretend he hadn't existed. I couldn't bring myself to watch him hide from me again. So, that week, I pretended he didn't exist and he had done the same to me.
"I thought you looked familiar," Carina said, snapping her fingers. "I probably saw you around the office."
"Yeah," Jake finally spoke, his voice both familiar and new after years of not hearing it. "My father hired you for accounting, correct?"
"Why did he hire someone outside the company?" Carina asked.
Jake shrugged. "Because whenever there was an issue, he wanted someone with fresh, unbiased eyes to look it over."
"Sounds like your dad." She turned to me. "What company did you work with that he hired you from?"
"I did freelance work."
"Interesting." I tried to decide if she was being condescending, but she seemed truly intrigued. "Did you work elsewhere? I can see the benefits of freelance to make your own schedule around other obligations."
"Uhh." I rubbed at the back of my neck.
Daniel, the man that always said it like it was, answered for me. "Jackson used to perform here at Voyeur and quickly became my right-hand man and helped me with accounting. Once he graduated, he took on more jobs, but never left me to fumble through everything on my own as Voyeur began to grow." He turned to face Jake. "Jackson has invested a portion to get Voy up and running and will be your go-to guy for most of the information you're needing. This is a joint project, but his baby."
I'd had to work my ass off the past few years to work up the savings, but once Daniel presented the opportunity to buy into his growing business, I jumped. Now, I had the added bonus of seeing Jake.
I was excited at the opportunity to spend time with Jake, despite his clenching jaw letting me know it was one-sided. He still managed to rob me of logical thought, and I had to fight to keep my cock at bay when he was around, but he'd also been my friend once upon a time. I missed that. Maybe the forced proximity would have us remembering our friendship.
"Perform?" Carina asked, an excited gleam in her eye. Carina was showing signs of being my kind of girl. "We were given some details of the club, but not a lot since we're focusing mostly on the bar."
Daniel smiled, ready to talk about his baby. "Voyeur is a place for people who like to watch. Sexual acts for the most part. We don't sell sex, but we provide a safe place for people to express that side of their sexuality without judgment. We have performers," he said, gesturing to me, "who are selected by the patrons to perform whichever acts that are available."
"Oh, wow." The words escaped her mouth on a breath, barely more than a whisper.
"The ladies and gentlemen were pretty disappointed when Jackson stopped performing, but he still does sometimes if I'm short-handed or the mood strikes him."
"I've got to keep the natives happy." I spoke to Carina but peeked out the corner of my eye to see Jake's reaction.
She smiled and blushed, looking down. Jake kept his eyes straight and on Daniel, his expression mostly blank. Except for that twitching jaw.
"Let's sit and discuss the plans for Voy," Daniel suggested.
I grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the side of his desk so I could face Jake. He only met my eyes once during the meeting but jerked them away when he found me staring. It was odd to see him so skittish. I knew what happened between us freaked him out, but the Jake I knew was bold, sexual, and never backed down.
Despite his quiet submissiveness with me, he dominated the meeting, leading the conversation and laying out their team's plan clearly.
I was a man who liked to be the center of attention and take charge of a situation—it's what made me such a good fit at Voyeur—but watching him speak with authority had my cock jerking in my pants.
"So, we will take all this information back to our team," Carina explained. "You may see them every once in a while, but we will be the main contacts that will be interacting with your staff."
"It sounds like it was a good choice to reach out to your company. I'd like to say I know the ins and outs enough to do it on my own, but frankly, I know kink and a lot of people who have it. Voyeur was a personal venture, and Voy is more a business one. I don't want to fuck it up by not asking for help."
"If you don't mind me asking, why the name Voy?" Carina asked.
A wistful smile crossed Daniel's lips. "I knew a Spanish woman once. She always wanted to go places, and before she passed, she told me to go for her. Voy means ‘I go’ in Spanish." He shrugged. "Just paying homage to a woman who gave me something when I needed it."
"I think it's beautiful," Carina said. She closed her folder and tucked it away. "I guess that's all for today. We will look over the information and get back to you later this week."
"Sounds good." Everyone stood, and Daniel rounded his desk to walk them out. "Thank you both so much for coming in. I'm excited to see what you have for us."
; I gave Carina another smoldering smile when we shook hands and enjoyed the blush across her cheeks. Then I turned to Jake and made sure to hold his gaze as I tightened my hand around his, forcing him to hold on longer than he wanted. When I let go, I winked at him. His jaw ticked again, but it was quickly followed by a heavy swallow that I tracked down his throat, watching his Adam's apple bob.
And then he was gone, walking toward the door to meet up with Carina, where he slipped his hand in her waiting one. She smiled up at him, and the painful pinch that happened before turned more into a tight squeeze around my lungs. I looked to his left hand but didn't see a ring. Looking over to hers, I saw a ring so big I couldn't believe I missed it.
Turning away from the couple, I sat down in one of the abandoned seats, reprimanding myself for feeling anything. This was Jake—straight as an arrow Jake. One drunken night didn't change that, and I was a fool to ever have thought it might.
Daniel came around to sit behind his desk and gave me a long look. I just managed to hold his stare, but barely. Four years of practicing to not cave under the intense gaze helped. I'd known him since I was a junior in college and over time he'd become a pseudo-father. Or more like the cool uncle who taught you about the world but was there should things go to shit.
"How's Andrew?"
"He's good. Ornery and asking when you're going to let him work here."
Daniel just laughed, knowing my brother was only half-joking.
"He's having a good day today. Physical therapy went well, and he's even walked a few steps with straps and a walker."
"That's impressive. The Fields men don't have quit in them."
"We sure don't," I agreed.
And thank God, because if I would have lost my little brother in the same train accident that took my parents, I wasn't sure I'd have been able to survive. My brother escaped with spinal damage that put him in a wheelchair the last four years. But he'd been making progress and never once gave up to accept his fate. The doctor's said there was hope and he clung to it tighter than white on rice.
