by Cole, Fiona
"Are you kidding?" he said, turning off the TV before gripping his wheels and heading to meet me at the small table in the room. "Since I regained the ability to come again, it's all I fucking do. You should take me to Voyeur. I'm sure someone has a paraplegic fetish."
I just shook my head and tossed the Holtman's Donuts bag down.
"Aw, fuck yeah. Did you get me the maple bacon?"
"Of course. It's the best one." He let his head fall back on a sigh, his eyes sliding closed. "But then I ate it before I got here. So damn good."
I had to fight off my laugh when his head jerked back upright aiming a death glare at me. Without saying anything, he opened the bag and double checked my story. "You're a shitty brother, you know that? I could have had a heart attack. A broken heart about missing my donut. I'm an injured man here."
Rolling my eyes, I snatched the bag out of his hands and grabbed a glazed for myself. "Yeah, you're barely hanging on for your life."
With a shrug, he pulled out his maple bacon donut and moaned through the whole thing. I wanted to give him shit, but it was one of those moments where I just stared and felt a wave of gratefulness wash over me, consume me so much that my eyes burned. My brother was the last family I had left after the accident, and I'd almost lost him too. Thankfully, he was a stubborn fuck that didn't give up when, at sixteen, he lost the use of his legs. Somehow, he'd powered through physical therapy and refused to quit. He gained some mobility and each month seemed to progress in the same direction. Most recently was his ability to get off. I'd never seen a man so happy.
"So, really, how's work?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts.
"It's good. We had a meeting with the team that will be helping to set up the bar. At least two of them. I'll meet the others throughout the process."
"Any of them hot? A chick in a tight business suit?"
"You're incorrigible." He gave a shameless shrug. "There was a guy and a girl."
Andrew's eyes glazed over probably fantasizing about some businesswoman, while my mind jumped to Jake.
"Carina does the marketing. You'd like her. Jake—" I choked on his name and had to swallow past the lump of tension in my throat to keep going. "Jake is helping with finances. So, I'll be working with him the most."
"Cool. You excited?"
"Yeah. It's like we've been talking about it forever and now it's finally happening. Construction has begun on the site, and every time I go there or drive past, I have to take a second to let it sink in that I'll be in charge of it."
"Well, it's about time. You deserve it after all the sacrifices."
I nodded, hearing what he didn't say. I knew he was grateful for all I'd done. How I'd begun working at Voyeur to make enough money to put him in this home. I'd given up a job opportunity in New York to stay here and continue at Voyeur while picking up freelance jobs. I'd worked my ass off the past five years to get us through.
"You know it was all worth it."
"Yeah, yeah. No need to cry like a baby," he said, rolling his eyes. The man was emotionally crippled more than he was physically. "Maybe you can finally get a less shitty apartment with your bigger paycheck."
"It's not that bad."
"Dude, I could kick through your walls they're so thin. And my legs don't even work."
"Ha. Ha. It's better than being homeless. And my shitty apartment has allowed me to save enough money to only work one job, so I'll be able to see you more."
His eyes dropped to the floor and he swallowed. Andrew made the best of his life, but he was lonely here and I missed him all the time. We saw each other as much as possible, but before now, I'd been working three jobs, not leaving much time. We were both eager to spend more time together. To hold on tight to the family we had. Hell, even I could admit how lonely I was. Voyeur didn't open many opportunities for a committed relationship and Andrew was the closest I had to feeling a connection to anyone. I looked forward to strengthening that connection and being there for him more.
He looked up, his jaw tight trying to hold it all in. I opened my mouth, ready to let him know how much I missed him when he spoke first.
"Who's Jake?"
"What?" I asked shocked at the unexpected drop of his name.
"You heard me," he said with narrowed eyes.
"Jake is—" My stupid voice cracked again. "Jake is no one. Just the finance guy." I shrugged and waved it away, trying to hide my reaction.
"Bullshit. Even if your voice didn't crack like a little school girl in love, I can see it all over your face."
"Fuck you," I said with no heat. He just smiled a cocky ass smile that made me grit my teeth. He was such a shit.
"Come on. Get it out. Gab about your man crush." I shook my head but was reminded of how lucky I was to have such an understanding family. They'd never batted an eye when I nervously told them I liked a guy. My dad just shook his head with a laugh and said how I'd never settled for half before, so why start now.
"Jake is—" I ran a hand across my face, buying myself time to think over my words. "I knew him in college. We were really close."
"Oh, yeah. I remember Jake. I think I met him for a bit when we came to visit."
"Yeah, that was him."
"Isn't he straight? He had a girl with him."
"He sure fucking is."
"So, you're crushing on a straight dude? Aren't you the one who always says he wouldn't bother with straight guys because it's a waste of your time?"
I gave a humorless laugh. "Yeah."
"So, what happened?"
"We…messed around one night. It was just a thing done without thought. He was my best friend and sure, I was attracted to him, and we sometimes seemed closer than just friends, but I knew he was as straight as an arrow and I brushed it aside, not even entertaining the idea."
"I feel a turn in the story coming…one that ends with his arrow bending." Andrew waggled his eyebrows, making me laugh even as I recapped such a shitty memory.
"Then there was this stupid dare to kiss me, and Jake had a reputation for never passing up a dare. I don't think he was expecting the reaction he got from the kiss. I don't think he expected to like it. Then he stumbled into my room later that night, still drunk, and I offered him a place to crash. No big deal. We'd done it a million times before. I tried not to let the kiss change anything because he was my best friend and drunk. I talked it down. Then he kissed me and it just…went on from there."
"So, it was like a one-night kind of thing?"
"I don't think it was even that. It was more a momentary lapse in judgment. When I woke up the next day he was gone. I saw him a week later and he had a new girlfriend and struggled to meet my eyes. He pulled back and stopped talking to me. So, I gave him space."
"Fuck that," Andrew barked. "No one screws my brother over. Fuck him."
I laughed at his vehemence. "Thanks, bro. Appreciate the support. But I should have known better. Jake is straight as an arrow."
"Sounds like you got him to bend a little."
"We were drunk." The lie rolled off my tongue from years of practice. I hadn't been drunk and after Jake stumbled into my room, he'd sobered up real quick.
"I don't care how drunk I am, I wouldn't kiss a guy and do whatever it is you did. That's what straight as an arrow is."
"Either way, the past is the past and now I have to work with him."
"Do you still care for him?"
I mulled over the tug in my chest. "He was my best friend and I haven't had anything like it since him. We just meshed well. Effortlessly. It was nice." I'd garnered the reputation of always being the life of the party, and Jake gave me time to just be mellow. We'd escape parties together to go to one of our rooms and talk, or play games, or just sit in silence as we did one of our puzzles. I'd never felt at such peace as I had with him. I'd also never known anyone who could match my brazen attitude and push me harder like he had either. We were a perfect blend.
"So, what are you going to do?"
"Work. Kee
p my head down and bust my ass like I have for the past five years. I understand he's straight and that night was a fluke."
"Good luck with that." He held up a finger. "Just one question."
"Shoot."
"Were you top or bottom? Because us Fields men should never be bottom. Always in charge."
"Jesus, Andrew." But he'd managed to make me laugh and shake me out of the mood rolling in the past had put me in. My ringing phone saved me from any more invasive questions he had.
I swiped my finger across the screen and answered. "What's up, Daniel?"
"Hey Jackson, I know it's your day off, but Jake and I are about to meet up and wanted to know if you could be there." My brother's eyebrows rose when he heard Jake's name through the line. "I know it's last minute."
"Yeah, I can be there. Just let me know where."
Daniel gave me the address as Andrew began imitating a blow job and doing his best to thrust his hips. I gave him my middle finger before jotting down where to go.
"I gotta go," I said once I hung up.
"Have a good date with Jakey-poo."
Shaking my head, I gathered my things getting ready to walk out.
"Just one more question." I turned to him with a cocked eyebrow ready for some lewd comment. "If you had a chance with him, would you take it?"
I imagined Jake standing before me. I imagined him stepping in close and pressing his chest to mine. I imagined breathing the same air just before our lips locked. Would I pull back? It was embarrassing realizing how easy I'd cave. "Yeah. I'd take it."
"Well, you never know. The Jackson I know wouldn't give up so easily."
"He's seeing someone."
"Then fuck her too. Isn't that the point of being bisexual?"
"God, you're such a dick," I said, laughing.
"Think about it, man."
Making my exit, I waved over my shoulder. "I'll be back soon. Listen to your doctors and don't scare anyone with your jerking off escapades."
"They love it," he shouted to my back.
6
Jake
"I hope you don't mind I invited Jackson. He should be here soon." Daniel gave me a hesitant look like he expected me to protest.
"Of course not."
What was I supposed to say? Yes, I minded because remembering the way his calluses had felt stroking my cock was starting to haunt my days as well as my nights.
Besides, I was fine with him around. I had no issues at all. Maybe if I said it enough my heart would stop trying to beat out of my chest each time he walked in a room.
Daniel was still staring his intense stare, full of knowledge, and it made me wonder what he knew. Had Jackson told him? Hoping to appear more casual than I felt, I forced a smile that stretched my cheeks into more of a grimace.
Thankfully the waitress came over to our booth and took our order. I was going to stick to just water since it was a business meeting, unofficial or not, but Daniel ordered a pitcher after asking if I liked beer. So, beer it was. Honestly, my nerves could use it.
"So," Daniel started again. "How's Carina doing on her end?"
"Good. She's excited about the project and very good at what she does. I think you'll love what she puts together."
"I'm sure I will." The waitress sat three glasses and a pitcher on our table and Daniel filled them up. "You two are engaged, right?"
"Um…I—" I stuttered over the random question. "Yes. I popped the question a few months ago."
"When's the big wedding?"
I had to take a moment to think if Carina had ever mentioned a date. We'd been engaged three months, but I couldn't remember a single time we'd discussed it. "We actually haven't talked about it yet."
"I guess you guys are in no rush to get married?" When I hesitated, he backtracked. "You don't have to answer. Just making small talk before Jackson gets here. I saw you two exit the other day and curiosity has the best of me."
"It's no problem." My muscles relaxed. "Work’s been keeping us busy." The excuse rolled off my tongue, but I didn't believe it. The past few months hadn't been any busier than before. I honestly hadn't even thought about bringing it up to her. Something about that dug at me, but I hesitated to wonder why.
I was saved from more questioning when the door opened, drawing our attention to Jackson walking in. And there went my heart, trying to beat its way out of my chest, flooding my body with the cocktail of emotions only he could create all at once.
Jackson walked up to the table, looking at me first, giving me this look that said he knew what my darkest fears were and what my cum tasted like.
In return, I gave a tight smile and studied my beer like it had the answers to world peace.
"Did you guys already start drinking without me? Damn, Daniel. Never knew you to be so impatient."
"Yeah, yeah. It's been a long day. Be happy I'm not taking shots at this point."
Jackson took his beer and tapped it to Daniel's. "To a better night and a productive meeting." He lifted his glass to me before taking a long pull of the golden liquid.
"How's Andrew?" Daniel asked.
"He's good. Wants to let you know he's ready to go for any paraplegic kinkiness."
Daniel laughed with Jackson before explaining, "Andrew is Jackson's brother."
"Yeah, I remember him from the time your family came to visit you in college."
Daniel cocked his eyebrow at the information that I revealed. We'd only admitted to running into each other when he did work for our company, not before then.
"Ho-ly shit," Jackson said. "Did you just acknowledge our friendship in college?"
I rolled my eyes as he clutched his chest in a mock heart attack. "You think you're so fucking funny, Fields."
He rested his elbows on the table and gave that one-sided cocky smile I remembered so well. "I'm a riot and you know it. How many nights did I have you laughing so hard you were damn near in tears?"
"Yeah, because I was laughing at you embarrassing yourself," I joked.
"That sounds true," Daniel said into his glass before drinking.
Jackson and Daniel had an easy camaraderie. Almost like family. I was happy he had someone after the accident that took his parents.
"So, let's talk business," Daniel began. I pulled out my phone ready to start taking notes. "I'll be gone next week, but Jackson will be there and have access to any financial information you'll need. As I explained on the phone, I'd like to make sure both businesses coincide and update anything at Voyeur that will make it run more efficiently."
I began listing off the different spreadsheets and documents I'd need to make an assessment and Jackson answered all my questions with ease. The conversation moved quickly and was wrapped up faster than I'd thought it would be.
"Okay, this is a great start. I'll take all this information back to the team. I'd also like to make some observations of my own. See how the protocols work, customer and employee interactions. It can be better to see it first-hand than passed through conversation. I can use that foundation to set up Voy."
"Of course," Daniel said. "Come in sometime and I'll get you a pass. Bring Carina. It will be good for her to see the place in motion too." He leaned forward with his elbows on the table and leveled me with a serious stare. "I'll have to remind you both of the NDA you signed. Make sure you take a second look at all that entails if you will be coming during open hours. Protecting my clientele's privacy is my top priority."
"Of course."
I was saved from any further stare down when his phone rang. He tugged his phone from his pocket and held up a finger before answering. "Hey, Kent." He paused as he listened to the caller. "Yeah, I can get that information for you. Let me just finish up here and I'll call you back." He hung up and turned his attention back to us. "Well, boys. I think that's everything for tonight. Thanks for both of you meeting me here. Sometimes I just need to get out of the office."
"Anytime, Mr. Witt."
"I'll see you later, Daniel," Jackson said w
ith a two-finger wave.
Then we were left alone for the first time in five years, a half-empty pitcher of beer between us beckoning to be enjoyed between friends. My heart thudded in my chest, and my mind urged me to get up and walk out. There was no reason to stay behind and hang out with Jackson. But for those few minutes, we'd laughed, I'd been reminded of the friend I'd had in college and was hit with an ache of longing.
What was the harm in being friends with Jackson again? It'd been five years. I knew who I was and what my future looked like. I could ignore the simmering attraction I felt for him. It was worth it to feel our connection again.
So, instead of standing, I heard myself say, "You want to stay and finish this beer?"
He turned to me with raised eyebrows, but then a slow smile curved his lips. "Yeah. That'd be nice."
I refilled both of our glasses and we shared a long stare as we each took long pulls of our drink, trying to figure out where to start the conversation. The bitter wheat taste on my tongue had me remembering a night we spent in a bar similar to this one.
"Remember that time we ordered a bucket of beer thinking it was some bottles in a bucket of ice, but instead ended up being a literal bucket filled with beer?"
Jackson shook his head, his laugh matching mine. "Fuck that was so much beer. Man, we got so drunk that night."
"It went so well we came back and did it again."
"Yeah and Luke dared you to drink the whole thing by yourself."
I cringed remembering how sick I'd felt about halfway.
"You probably would have had alcohol poisoning if I hadn't sneaked a few chugs when they weren't looking."
"Always looking out for my livelihood."
"Someone had to with all the dares you refused to turn down."
Both of us looked away, remembering the last game we played. Thankfully he broke the tension and changed the topic.
"So, how's working at the family company? I know you did work over the summers in college, but how is it working full-time?"
My cheek twitched remembering all the conversations we'd had about what we'd wanted for our futures. "It's not too bad. I actually enjoy it more than I had in those earlier years. I have a focus on analyzing businesses rather than running around and doing it all."
