by AR Colbert
I sat straight-backed in the chair, patiently awaiting further instructions. I feared if I began talking, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And rambling would be of no use to me. I couldn’t say too much. I couldn’t tell her about Raf, and I didn’t have much else to offer.
“How was your time in Morton borough?” she asked. It was a simple question, but her eyes were prodding for information.
“It was nice, thank you.”
“Were you able to catch up with old friends?”
“Yes.” I considered telling her about my visit with Sela in an effort to delay the inevitable. But the fewer details I gave her, the better. Plus, Sela was so happy. I didn’t want to put her on Emmaline’s radar.
“And your brother?” Emmaline’s crystal blue eyes were staring straight into my soul. I remembered my mom once telling me about machines they used at the medical center that would display the inside of your body on large screens. They used the machines to look for broken bones or other injuries. I imagined those patients felt a little like I did on the other side of Emmaline’s gaze. Exposed. But she wasn’t looking at my bones. No, she was searching my mind, seeking out information to locate the only person left that I loved in this world.
I shuddered. Of course Emmaline couldn’t read my mind. She would know if I lied, though.
“Yes, I saw my brother.”
Emmaline’s smile widened, sending another shiver down my spine. Cato was a thief, not a serial killer. Why was she so interested in locating him? He was harmless.
“I know he didn’t come to your house. We’ve had Protectors keeping watch since you left for training. But I’m sure you sensed them, of course. So where did you meet him, Claren?”
I swallowed, trying to think of a way to get out of this. “I thought you said you weren’t interested in his location right now.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, but her smile never faltered. “That’s right. But if he didn’t come to you, it means you went to him. And as we discussed, I’d like to know who is keeping him.”
I shook my head. “I still don’t know where he’s staying. We met somewhere separate. In an abandoned building.”
“How were you able to arrange the meeting?”
It was a valid question, and I should have had an answer prepared. But as it stood, all I could do was hope that Emmaline wouldn’t probe deeper.
“We share a mutual acquaintance.” A tall, dark, handsome, smart, sensitive, funny acquaintance. Please don’t make me give Raf away.
“I see. And you’re certain this acquaintance isn’t giving your brother orders?”
“I’m positive! I don’t know the person well, but I can guarantee Cato is not taking any orders from him... or her. From the person, I mean.” I looked down to find my knee bouncing up and down so hard I thought I might break a hole through the floor. I continued to stare until it finally came to a rest, still tingling with adrenaline.
I was doing a terrible job of blocking my affect.
“Is there any chance this acquaintance may know who is hiding Cato? Who he is taking his orders from?”
I swallowed reflexively, but my mouth was arid. The dry lump traveled slowly down my throat, burning as it went.
“I suppose it’s possible.”
Emmaline’s eyes twinkled across the desk from me as the corners of her mouth quirked up again.
“That’s excellent news. And I trust that you will continue to offer your assistance in helping us locate the individual who has been hiding your brother? We believe there’s a man in charge of a large group of Outsiders, and he has some dangerous plans. I’d hate for your brother to get into further trouble by following orders from this rogue leader. You wouldn’t want Cato to get into any more trouble either, would you, Claren?”
My palms stung from the sharpness of my nails digging in as I attempted to control my anger. She’d worked me into a corner. Again. I could almost hear the snake’s menacing rattle. If manipulation was a sport she’d be the grand champion. A slithering, conniving, beautifully lethal champion.
But she had a point. I had no allegiance to Frank. He may have protected Cato from being exiled, but at what cost? My brother only seemed to be getting further involved in Frank’s plans. And from what I’d seen of his last attempt to “educate” with Sam recruiting at my exam, Frank’s plans didn’t always end so well. I wouldn’t let Cato become another ghost in my life.
“So what will it be? Will you help us find the man in charge?”
“Yes,” I said. My voice was raw, working hard to cover the sobs that were fighting to expose my fear for my brother. “I’ll be happy to help. Just let me know what to do.”
“Well first things first, we’re going to have to work on some additional skills. Are you familiar with the term ‘projecting?’”
She reached across the desk, palms up. I knew where this was going, but I had to feign innocence. I slowly placed my hands on top of hers and allowed her calm to wash over me.
“Feel better now?” she smiled.
“I do.”
“That is projecting. I’d like to teach you how to do it as well. It could come in quite handy as you carry out the task ahead of you. But first, I need your absolute word that you will not use this skill to manipulate others outside of government-ordered work.”
“You have my word.”
Emmaline’s eyes sparkled again, and I wanted to trust her. I wanted to learn as much as I could from her. But I also feared what I might become if I did.
“Very well, then. Let’s get right to it.”
CHAPTER 20
Two days later I stood alone on the cracked asphalt in front of the 23rd Street bus station, watching the red taillights of Emmaline’s car round the corner back toward Noble borough. I’d only managed to finish a couple of bites of my grilled chicken at dinner, hoping it would be enough to settle my stomach. It wasn’t, and it rolled as I stared down the street toward my destination.
Somehow, I’d convinced Emmaline to give me a little more time to gather intel on my own. Raf would know immediately if there were other people in the room, so there was no use bringing help along. I had to go alone. And even alone, I felt like a traitor walking into a room full of victims. I was sick with myself.
I set off toward the church, placing one shaky foot in front of the other as I made my way down the dark streets. But as I thought about it, I noted that the Outsiders weren’t exactly innocent. They’d gotten Sam killed several weeks earlier, they got Cato wanted for theft, and now they were continuing to put him in danger. If I didn’t gather information about Frank for Emmaline, Cato was only going to get in deeper. It had to stop.
Finally, the church came into view. I stuck close to the shadows on the edge of the street and picked up my pace as I closed the gap between the street corner and the now-familiar dilapidated building ahead. The door inched open as I approached and Dave’s pale face peeked out, almost glowing in the moonlight.
His eyes were the size of saucers, and I felt his panic surge through my veins. As the electricity of it circulated through my already shaky legs, I had to fight the urge to turn on my heels and run in the opposite direction.
“Everything okay over there?” Raf’s muffled voice echoed from behind the door. He felt it, too. I took a deep breath, stuffing my anxiety deep inside as I forced a smile to my lips.
“Hi, Dave. Mind if I join you guys tonight?”
Dave’s gaze bounced from me to the street corners, from the trees to the line of old houses beside us. He was searching to see if I was alone. Once again, I was thankful that I was.
“Uh, I’m not sure—“ Dave’s stutter was interrupted by Raf’s sudden appearance in the doorway. He pushed the church door open a little more as he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
“Claren! What in the world?”
The heavy wooden door closed with a thud behind us, and as my eyes adjusted to the low light of the church auditorium I could just make out several sets of eyes, all on
me.
“I remembered you guys met here, and I was worried about Cato. I know he was working on something, and I just felt an unshakable urge to check on him— to see that he’s okay. Is he okay?” Everything I said was true, of course. There was no need to hide my concern from Raf.
I scanned the room again, recognizing several faces from the last meeting I interrupted here. But there were three new faces as well. Fear emanated from a middle-aged man sitting next to Frank, and he glanced nervously at two younger men sitting on the other side of him. They were probably a few years older than me, and they shared the same sandy blond hair and broad shoulders as the man, who I assumed was their father.
Cato was nowhere to be found. I used the back of my hand to wipe cold sweat from my forehead and tried to steady my rapid, shallow breathing before turning to Raf.
“Where is he?”
Raf pulled me in to his chest, wrapping a strong arm behind my back. “It’s alright,” he whispered into my hair. “He’s fine. But he won’t be here tonight. You shouldn’t be here either.”
Dave shifted uncomfortably beside us, but I didn’t want to pull away. Raf’s slow, steady breaths caused his chest to rise and fall against my cheek, and I closed my eyes, allowing the simple rhythm of his breathing to calm my desperate nerves. What was I doing here? Cato didn’t want to be saved, and I feared I was only adding unnecessary risk to Raf’s life. This was all wrong.
“You’re right. This was a mistake.” My voice was barely audible, the words getting lost in the fabric of his shirt.
I might have stayed there all night, pressed against Raf with his arms around me, but Frank joined us and reality came crashing back into view.
“Claren, I’m surprised to see you here again. I thought you’d gone to Noble for Peacemaker training.”
I peeled myself from Raf’s safety and turned to face Frank. “That’s right. But during a visit back home last week I learned of Cato’s involvement in some secret mission. I couldn’t quit thinking and worrying about him, so I snuck out tonight to see if he was okay.”
Frank chortled, which caught me off guard. He wasn’t angry or concerned at all. “Of course Cato’s okay! He’s doing better than we are.”
“How do you mean?” I didn’t understand what was so funny. And Frank was certainly mistaken if he thought Cato was doing better than the rest of us. The Outside wasn’t known for its mini-mansions and professional chefs. But he definitely piqued my curiosity.
“Cato’s living large in the Center right now.”
Raf cleared his throat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. My jaw nearly hit the floor. And Frank just chuckled and extended his hand toward me.
“Follow me. I’ve got much to fill you in on.”
Frank looped my hand through the crook of his elbow and led me to the circle of people gathered in the center of the church auditorium. Raf followed closely behind and sat to my left on the floor. Frank was on my right.
I tried to get a reading for how Raf was feeling, but his every emotion was perfectly blocked. It was like sitting next to an icy wall, and it sent a shiver through me just the same. I considered projecting a little bit of ease into him by placing my hand on his knee, but it wasn’t time to reveal that little trick up my sleeve. It wasn’t a trick I was excited about using on Raf anyway.
“This isn’t a good idea, Frank. You can’t trust her.” Dax was scowling across from me. I didn’t know what he had against me—I hadn’t done anything to him. Ever. But he definitely wasn’t relenting.
“Of course we can.” Frank smiled. “This is Cato’s sister. If he trusts her, I trust her. Besides, Claren is in a really unique position. She may be able to help our cause as well—from a different angle. If she’s interested, of course.”
I turned to the kind old man, guilt pressing hard on my lungs. Here he was defending me, trusting me with information others were reluctant to share, and all the while I was supposed to be turning him over to Emmaline.
His eyes sparkled in the moonlight glinting in from the broken stained glass windows. He looked like a character from a book, wise and mysterious in the low green-tinted light. But if Frank was the good guy, then that must make me...
I shook the thought from my mind.
“Does anyone else object to our visitor sitting in tonight?”
If any of the others did object, they kept their mouths shut. Dax remained scowling across from me, watching me like a wolf studying its prey. Satisfied with their silence, Frank turned back to me and continued.
“Last time you were here, we told you we were working to spread truth inside the city. Unfortunately, you are all taught that the Outside is a place for criminals, crawling with violence and low rates of survival. But the truth is, there are many good people outside of the city limits. And as a community, we have learned not only how to live without the government, but how to thrive. We are growing our own food, building our own infrastructure, and developing our own medicine. And we’re doing it all without anyone over our shoulders telling us how to work or who to love.”
Expressions softened around me and the room was pulsing with something— excitement? Longing, maybe? No, it was better than that. It was hope. Almost like a foreign notion, it warmed me from the inside out. It felt like my mother’s hugs and my dad’s stories. It was like warm chicken noodle soup when I was sick as a little girl, and blowing out birthday candles on the only cake I got each year. It felt good. It felt right, and I wanted more.
“Now that we have developed some systems, we believe we’re ready to grow. And growth will be a lot easier if we can bring in additional experts from different career fields. We believe many citizens of Classen City would be very interested to hear how we live. So we are working on educating and recruiting anyone who is unhappy with their current circumstances. Anyone who craves more. Anyone who wants to taste freedom.”
It was probably my mind playing tricks on me, but Frank’s glow almost seemed to intensify with his words, moving from the mysterious green of the stained glass to a warm gold. He was passionate, and his words were moving. Frank exemplified true leadership without even trying. It was convincing.
“So Cato was right,” I finally spoke. “You are like a secret society. What was it he called you? The Embers?”
Frank laughed again. “We are a society, yes. But we have no name, and we don’t intend to stay a secret. It’s the government who is working so hard to keep our existence silent. We are just people. People like the rest of you. But when we were pushed Outside, we built ourselves back up from the dust. And now we’re ready to grow. We’re ready to offer an alternative for people who want to take charge of their own lives.”
I nodded. It was a very noble cause, and whether it was everyone else’s hope and excitement or my own, I was unsure. But I felt it.
“How can I help, Frank?”
He grinned. “Well right now Cato is staying with an influential family in the Center— the Gadsons. He’s working to educate them, but they are natural Leaders. They have many questions about our systems and are looking for assurance that they will be able to survive and stay strong Outside of the city. Their biggest challenge, however, is helping to counter the narrative the government is providing regarding the so-called attacks that keep occurring. As a Peacemaker, you will hold influence over this narrative. You can help the people see that we are not attacking, but educating. And hopefully you can help to keep us safe as well.”
“But I’m just in training,” I countered. “I don’t have any influence at all.”
“Not yet, but you will. This is a long game, Claren. Big changes don’t happen overnight. We’re looking to change the world we live in, not put a bandage on it.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t mind speeding the game up a little.” Dax snorted from the opposite side of our circle. A few others smiled as well, giving the tiniest of nods. But it was clear they trusted Frank. They would have to learn some patience.
“So what can I do n
ow?” I wanted to trust Frank, too. If what he said was true, we’d all be a lot better off Outside. And Cato could live freely, without hiding from the Protectors at every turn.
“For now we can use any information you’re able to pick up. They may not tell you much, but that’s okay. I can see some real potential in you, and if you do your best, you will rise to the top of your class. The better you do in your training, the higher your final placement will be. And until we can get the truth more widespread, we need to situate ourselves in the highest levels of the government possible. One day, everyone will know, and they will be able to make the decision to stay or leave for themselves.”
So hurry up and wait, in other words. What Frank didn’t understand though, is that doing my best in the training would actually work against his cause here. But if I went against Emmaline, I would be removed from the program and Cato would be completely removed from my life.
Frank spent the remainder of the evening updating everyone on certain details and small wins from their overall goal. The middle-aged man and his sons were working to spread the truth in some of the other southern boroughs. They were new to the cause themselves, thanks to Tim, the man with the limp I saw the first time I’d crashed their meeting.
They wrapped up sometime after midnight, and I felt like I was a part of something stronger than I ever imagined by the time we all said our goodbyes. We exited through the back door through the shadows one at a time or in pairs to prevent suspicion. And it wasn’t until Raf and I were around the corner that he finally spoke.
“Frank is not an Empath.” It was a strange thing for him to say after all that had just conspired.
“Okay. I’m not sure how that’s relevant.”
“It’s relevant because he doesn’t really understand how empathy works. He doesn’t know that you are surrounded by sharks in every waking moment of your training, and they’re all waiting for any scent of blood. This information he just gave you is like a death wish. They’ll be circling you in no time.”
“They’re not mind readers, Raf.”
