“Shall I wait? I’m just grabbing a bite at the buffet,” Amy said.
“No, you go on ahead. See you on the deck later.”
“I’ll save you a spot in the sun.” Amy tossed her key in the beach bag, picked it up and walked out the door. It closed with a gentle click and Merissa felt relieved to be alone, if just for a few minutes. She’d enjoyed competing with Chad at the gym but now the guilt weighed her down like a burden she could not lift off. The hot water pounded on her body and she turned the handle for an occasional stab of cold to serve as penance for betraying a sweet memory with Kyle. They had competed in everything cardio and strength building – even her least favorite, sit-ups. Today she’d shared that same fun with a new man and a troubled heart condemned her. She knew it was ridiculous, but how did one cast a sentiment like that aside? Sometimes it was as if Kyle had just died yesterday and other times it seemed an eternity.
The one-piece, navy swimsuit, fit where it touched and the light cover-up with palm trees in the pattern, made her respectable enough to enter the enclosed dining area of the buffet. Deciding to skip the dining room this morning, she grabbed her pool bag and headed for the eleventh floor. Merissa noticed Chad straight off. It seemed everyone was opting for a serve-yourself meal on this sunny day.
Running into Chad was becoming uncanny, but she refused to accept Amy’s conclusion that somehow the North Pole was behind this bit of magic transpiring miles from the shoreline. Yet, she believed that a higher source was at work in this entire turn of events. The fact she was here, proved that. The entire cruise remained unexplainable. At times, it even took on the form of a set up – with Chad as the chosen one. She shook her head. What a stupid thought. The man had bought a ticket same as Kyle had – end of the mystery. She’d stick to Amy’s original theory of magic tape repairing the original copies and get on with the vacation.
Chad was conversing with the chef and glanced over when she approached. “Hey, Merissa. The cook says that eggs laid from a French hen have more pizazz. What do you think?”
“I think if you believe that line, the man should be a salesman instead of a cook,” Merissa answered then glanced at the professional chef watching them from behind the counter. “No put down intended, sir.”
“None taken. If you will allow me, I will create a perfect blend of omelet that will satisfy your French taste buds, Madam.”
“I’m in. Let’s eat Paris-style this morning,” Merissa said.
“Are you inviting me to breakfast?” Chad asked.
Merissa blushed. “Only if you want to. Don’t feel obligated to hang out with me just because our roommates are attached at the hips.”
“I think you know otherwise,” Chad said, but he did not introduce the subject of his letter.
“Well, as the song goes – three French hens are the emphasis in this buffet this morning.” Merissa noticed that every sanitary idea that hinted at hens decorated the room and the food displays.
Chad smiled as he held up his bowl of freshcut fruit. “Can I get you some while the chef prepares our feast-a-la- resistance?”
Merissa glanced to the far end of the buffet. “It’s right there. I think I can manage.”
“But where’s the gallantry in that? French men are known for flamboyant behavior, and if we are dining in Paris…”
“Okay, you win. I would love, half a bowl please, with a scoop of cottage cheese.”
“Now that ruins the whole thing.”
“That’s your opinion. Somehow I knew you wouldn’t carry the health kick to the extreme.” Merissa turned to receive the plate being handed to her.
“I’ll have one the same, Chef Breishette,” said Chad as he moved to fill her bowl with small pieces from many varieties of fruit. Grimacing, he plunked a white mass of cheese on top and passed it to Merissa. His face screwed up, and it thrust her back in time to Kyle, and the playful spirit he loved to exhibit. Chad took the plate of eggs and toast from the chef, and with a quick “thank you,” nodded toward a table by the window.
Once settled in a seat, they hesitated before diving the fork into the thick cheesy omelet. Merissa glanced up and they both burst out laughing.
“What came first the chicken or the egg?” Merissa asked. “And where do you want to start with this piece of creation?”
“I will tackle the head. Don’t want my breakfast staring at me with those two nutty eyes for the entire meal.”
“Chop off the head.” Merissa cut through the throat. “Never considered molding my omelets to suit the theme of the day. But it’s a splendid idea I shall have to try sometime. My niece will love it.”
“Suppose that’s why we are not famous Chefs,” said Chad. “My father grew up on a small farm where they raised laying hens, chickens for meat, pigs, milking cows, and horses – the whole animal fest.”
“Is farming still your family business?”
“Horses mostly. My folks like to ride along the shore and pretend they are racing with Black Beauty.”
“You grew up by the ocean and you still felt the need to cruise? It might have been cheaper to stay visiting with your family,” Merissa said.
“But then I wouldn’t have met you or eaten eggs from a French hen.”
The server that rotated their section of the room came and filled the glasses with orange juice and topped their cups with coffee.”
“Yes, coffee! My hands know how to brew the black Joe before my eyes officially open.” He took a long sip. “Tasted many brands from many countries but I’ve never had cruise coffee before. It passes my inspection.”
“Do you travel all the time with your job?” asked Merissa.
“Unfortunately way too much. But, when Skip came up with this cruise idea I couldn’t say no. Not with Christmas on board.”
“You are a fan?”
“I am. And from watching you, I gather you are too,” Chad said.
“I have no idea what possessed my friend. Amy literally dragged me here. I suppose, for her, the vacation is not all about the birthday of Jesus. She’s enjoys the craziness of the season, whereas I like the peace.”
“From what I see, I think you are a perfect balance of both,” Chad said before he mowed down on a piece of toast.
Merissa felt the squeeze in her heart. It was true – she loved the peaceful part, but for the first time since Kyle’s death she remembered, without guilt, how she’d enjoyed the silly rush of fun and nonsense that the season brought. Since boarding the ship, she’d worked to subdue the person who’d evolved this past year, and had naturally slipped back into the outgoing role of the old days. Christmas was about sharing love and giving. She had never used her faith as a crutch, and Jesus would not want her to simply endure his season. Merissa pushed her plate away, confused and tired of trying to figure it all out.
“I believe a lounger awaits me on the deck,” Merissa said. “Thank you for your company this morning.”
Merissa stood and smiled absently at his easy-going goodbye. She wanted to be alone, and yet, once again felt the bitter loneliness creep over the soul she’d closed to life. On the sundeck, Merissa was met by an enthusiastic, Amy, lying mid-section across from the pool, flailing her arms to beckon her over. So much for alone. It was probably better this way. The morning sun felt good and warmed her slightly dampened spirit.
“I thought you would eat the whole buffet. I hate breakfast,” Amy reported as soon as Merissa got within earshot.
“What? You didn’t try the eggs from the French hens?” Merissa asked while she spread her towel and pulled the cover-up over her head.
“Eggs! I’d be sick.”
“Breakfast is the healthiest meal of the day, or so they say,” Merissa said.
“Who are they anyway? I’m not ready for healthy,” Amy said. She placed her sunglasses over her eyes and confirmed her statement with a loud huff.
An hour later the music at the bar picked up in volume as a band started to play. Amy roared laughing and Merissa looked wh
ere she pointed. Four musicians had dressed as French hens and the ditty began. “On the first day of Christmas…”
Eager participants jumped to their feet and formed a line, clucking and carrying on as they filed between the chairs, picking up new dancers along the way. When they neared the girls, Merissa shook her head at Amy.
“No way! I do not enjoy making a fool of myself so early in the day.”
“Come on. Look! The guys are almost here, and I for one, am linking up with Skip. Surely you won’t leave Chad at the mercy of these beautiful girls.”
Merissa lifted her brows and Amy groaned disapproval. “You’ve actually been fun lately – like the Merissa I used to know! Don’t give up now. I love that girl you keep stuffing inside – and so did Kyle.”
“Don’t bring Kyle into your scheme,” Merissa warned.
The line had reached them, and Amy jumped into position when Skip released the waist of the person ahead of him. As much as Merissa wanted, she could not ignore Chad. She felt his eyes piercing her before he too opened the line for her to slip in. Merissa bit her lip. To her surprise, everything within screamed to break loose, so when he reached out to her she bounced off the chair and slipped in front of him. His hand felt hot where it touched her waist while hers dug anxiously into the skin of the woman ahead of her. Merissa forced herself to concentrate on her breathing.
Chad spoke in her ear. “Sing. I love to hear your voice.”
Merissa glanced back and offered a smile then opened her mouth to join in the singing. “… three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.” When he smiled, her world lit up, and she felt the rush go straight to her cheeks.
When the swaying group arrived back where the band led the chorus, they stopped and did a wild copycat imitation that the song-leader encouraged. When the folklore ended, Merissa was glad for the humiliation to be over. The dancers started to leave the area, but the cruise director called them back.
“Don’t run away, folks. Here beside me is the great Salene, a master in Zoomba.”
The woman by his side grabbed the microphone and snuggled up to the lead singer. “And Zack here has taught me some hennish moves that will raise that heartbeat and set your body into a rhythm no music has ever done. Are you ready?”
The group cheered. Skip and Amy fell into the new lines that formed and Merissa glanced at Chad. She saw the invitation to stay for the fun in his face, but he did not voice it.
“Why not? It’s exercise, right?” Merissa said.
“That’s my girl.” Chad gripped her hand and dragged them into one of the four lines. Salene took her place at the front and went through a few simple steps with her eager participants, adding a few bizarre chicken-moves into the mix. Merissa was not prepared when the music started and the slow teaching steps became rapid segments in a fast tune that had both her and Chad playing catch-up more often than not. And, as she’d expected, the innocent flapping became a flurry of chaos that brought laughter from the cheering crowds lying safely on the loungers. By the time the song was over, the hot sun left them dripping wet. They headed straight for the outside shower, rinsed off and jumped in the pool.
When Merissa returned to her towel Amy was nowhere in sight. She scanned the area and in the back corner her friend waved. Skip was beside her.
“Looks like Amy stole my seat. Mind if I take hers?” Chad asked.
“I’m glad they’re having fun together,” said Merissa.
“And you – are you having fun?” Chad asked.
“I told you I was, and I don’t lie, Chad. It’s easy to hang with you.”
“Pleased to hear that. Cause there’s no one I’d rather be with.”
“Have you looked around? There are scores of women here willing to be your partner for the cruise. Why bother with me?” asked Merissa.
“Maybe I like a challenge.”
“I’m not worth the money you paid for the ride.”
Chad gripped Merissa’s arm, and she turned to face him. “I never want to hear that again. You are worth it all, and more. I have no grounds with which to base my intuition – I just know this is where I’m meant to be. Tell me you feel nothing, and I will reluctantly leave you to your misery.”
Merissa tuned sideways in her lounger so they sat face to face. “I’m sorry. I’m accustomed to spouting rejection so people will leave me alone. It just slips out sometimes.” She took both his hands in hers. “Have you ever lost anyone you cared for?”
“No, I’ve been spared that, so far. But I know death is a sad fact of life that the living can’t run and hide from,” said Chad. “If the tables were turned, I’m sure Skip would be every bit the interfering pain your Amy is.”
Merissa laughed and could not stop. Chad caught the spirit, and in the end, they had to muffle their mouths with towels to stop the outburst.
“Let’s get an ice cream cone and walk the upper deck. No jogging – I promise,” Merissa said.
The two walked in silence. Licking the cookies-and-cream drippings from the sides of the cones kept them busy. At the stern of the ship they stopped and leaned against the varnished railing.
“Know something else about the three French hens?” asked Chad.
“Enlighten me,” Merissa said.
“In Christian circles, they are symbolic of faith, hope, and love.” He moved in closer. “Are you ready to embrace that?”
“I have never lost my faith, so I’m good there.” Chad was so close she could smell the creamy cookie aroma escaping his lips.
“And hope?”
“I have lost hope in some areas but held steadfast in others. Christ is my hope, and He sustains me.”
“Mm… And love?” Chad asked. Merissa felt his gentle touch on her shoulders as he somehow shifted even closer. She could barely breathe.
“I love God because he first loved me.” Merissa heard her voice tremble.
“And if a man loved you first, could you find it in your heart to love him back?”
Merissa could not answer, nor could she disconnect from his piercing scrutiny. In his eyes she saw the desire to reach her. What would happen if she just let him in for a minute? She lost the ability to think, spellbound in his magnetic pull. When his lips touched hers she did not pull away but allowed him to search for answers. Time stood still. And then she remembered.
Merissa gasped and pulled back, tears pooling in her eyes. “Chad, I can’t do this.” Anger surfaced, not aimed toward the man in front of her, but directed to the nagging torment in her heart that would not relinquish its hold. “One thing I did not share with you is that this cruise – the one I’m spending with you – was to be my honeymoon, with Kyle.” She could not stop the flow of tears and pushed him back when he attempted to comfort her. “I came here to say a final goodbye to my dead fiancé, but I haven’t done it yet. And I doubt I shall ever find the courage.”
Merissa picked up her pool bag and jogged away. Chad did not follow but spent a long time by the rail praying for this woman he’d grown to care for.
Freedom Waves
At nine a.m., Merissa was finishing up a quiet breakfast alone in the dining room when the voice of the captain amplified into the public spaces around the ship.
“Good morning. If you are up, you will want to make your way to the port side or the stern of the ship.” Seated at the backside already, Merissa did not bother to move but took another sip of her coffee. “If you look closely, you will see flocks of blackbirds swirling the area. I need to tell you that this is not a common observance in this area. It’s my guess they are in the Christmas mood and are here to help us celebrate the fourth day of Christmas – a miracle those of us at the helm are declaring on this fine day at sea.”
Merissa leaned closer to the window and sure enough, a cloud of blackbirds filled the air, diving, and swirling – putting on quite a show. If the blackness of their bodies wasn’t such a match to the way she was feeling she would rejoice over such a display of nature. She wo
ndered how the cruise line lured them over on this particular day, or could it be as the Captain said, a miracle sent to bless the passengers.
She continued to watch until the spectacle moved on. It was then she noticed the dining table décor. A white tablecloth, black linen serviettes, and four black – she supposed calling birds – cut from construction paper, positioned to appear as flying across the center of the setting, dipping between the glasses. Eight huge dark eyes seemed to stare at her and she squirmed in her seat. A strange thought entered her mind – that perhaps she’d dimmed the light inside her so much that her soul had become black as coal.
Merissa hurried to the Wi-Fi-zone in the computer room, sat next to a window, and logged onto the Internet with her cell phone. She’d do her own research today about what the birds symbolized, according to the ship theme song and its Christian interpretation. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me – four calling birds – or the debaters claimed their proper name was colly birds, which dated back to the big black bird she’d just witnessed in the sky. Either way, their color was a forlorn death black, and that jolted her.
Further search led her to the answer she needed. Four calling birds symbolized the four gospels. Of course, the answers were in the Word – they always were – and Chad had even hinted at that in his letter. The life and ministry of Jesus – the light of the world – laid out in the first four books of the New Testament. Merissa brought up the Bible app and settled comfortably into the plush chair. She began to read Matthew and never stopped until she’d read straight through John. When she raised her eyes, she realized everyone had deserted the place, except one man in the far corner with his head half buried behind his computer. It was Chad, and if he’d noticed her earlier, he’d chosen not to interrupt. Merissa was grateful for his discretion. Few men would be so patient and understanding. Mixed emotions streaked and crisscrossed within her, like a lightning storm, but she knew she was not ready to face him.
Christmas Cruise in July Page 5
