by Lucia Franco
"See?" he said. "Loosen your shoulders."
Kova reached down and tenderly massaged my throat with his fingers. A shot of pleasure went straight to my pussy and my eyes rolled shut. I was ready to jump his bones. Puzzled wasn't a strong enough word to describe why I liked this so much—his hands on my neck coaxing me to learn a sexual act—but I did. A lot.
"Breathe through your nose and flatten your tongue so I can get to your throat."
I moved to pull away to compose myself a little better, but he pushed me back and kept me there. Clearing my mind, I focused on his words and did as he asked.
"Yes… Just like that, Adrianna. Just…like…that…" He slowly pushed in more, hitting the back of my throat.
I gagged and choked, my eyes filling with tears. He pulled away and I quickly inhaled before he was back at it again, my eyes watering now. His cocked tapped the inside of my throat with each thrust and guide of his hips, his hands threaded in my hair and massaged my neck at the same time.
"I want to feel the back of your throat. I need to get deeper…" He groaned. "Oh, the thoughts you give me, my girl, the things I want to do to you…"
That was the most bizarre thing I'd ever heard. Why the hell would he want to touch the back of my throat? I had no desire to ever touch the back of his throat.
"Have you ever swallowed?"
I shook my head no, and his eyes darkened. I hadn't. I'd never given a real blow job before.
I pulled back and quickly said, "I told you I didn’t know what I was doing."
His mouth tugged into one of the sexiest grins I'd ever seen on him. Then he began a deep and hard roll with his hips, driving into my mouth so artfully.
"I am almost there… Oh, fuck. Just remember to breathe through your nose and loosen up, it will all slide down and you can swallow."
Okay. Sounded easy enough.
But it wasn't. Not even close.
Kova's cock slid over my tongue and past my throat into my neck. My fucking neck! The sounds that came out of him were not normal. They were carnal and sensuous and deeply hot. Something warm slid down my throat and his hand massaged the outside of my neck. I moved to pull back as panic set in me from the large obstruction in my esophagus, but my head hit the stainless steel refrigerator. My eyes watered profusely. It was like he knew my next move because he found my wrists and held them behind him. My nails scored his ass cheeks as he pushed farther into my mouth.
I was going to die from giving head. My family would be shamed for all eternity.
"Oh yes, take it all, take it all." He came…a lot.
His cock pulsated and stiffened. I wasn't prepared for the thickness of his semen or how awfully salty it was, but it filled my mouth, and if I didn't do as he said and gulp it back, I was going to throw up. I could bite down, but he'd probably like it.
I had to make a decision fast.
"Swallow it, Ria. Swallow every fucking drop."
My fingers dug into the seam of his cheeks, and it was in that moment I decided to do something no straight man would ever want. At least, I didn't think they'd want.
My throat contracted and I closed my eyes as I drank him down. It wasn’t easy but I focused and managed so I could give him what he wanted. And I wanted to. I needed him to have this.
Kova yelled out in ecstasy while my fingers skimmed his round ass toward forbidden territory. Just when I thought he'd pull away, he did the opposite and trembled against me as I poked and prodded the puckered little hole with one finger. His butt cheeks clenched together, and I pushed deeper.
He fucking loved it.
Kova loved it so much, he let go of my wrists and cupped my jaw and the back of my head as he finished coming in my mouth. He shoved himself down and even though tears ran down my face, I kept sucking until I swallowed every single drop. He was sexy as fuck when he moaned.
"Never better," he slurred in a trance, and I pushed my finger in one last time. "Oh, fuck…I have never come so hard in my life."
He withdrew from my mouth before I could swallow the last drop and it dripped down my chin. Kova lifted me up. My legs automatically wound around his hips as he smashed his mouth to mine, not caring that I hadn't swallowed the last little bit of his cum, and he kissed me hard. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same intensity. So much so my heart throbbed for this beast of a man who could be so cruel and passionate at the same time. Something forfeited inside me, something I was holding back. Something more than liking him, more than lusting after him.
His hand found the back of my hair and his tongue delved into my mouth, consuming me, not giving a fuck he that was tasting himself as he kissed the shit out of me. We pulled back at the same time, panting heavily into each other. His eyes exposed a collection of feelings, twisting my stomach with the impulse to listen.
There was that L word again.
I offered him a tender smile. He wiped my chin with his thumb and I grabbed it to suck it clean.
"Who are you?" he asked in sheer wonderment.
I laughed and shook my head, then slid down his body to stand.
Kova kissed my lips. He pulled his shorts up, but not all the way. I had a partial view of the width of his cock peeking out. I licked my lips. He was too sexy for his own good.
"I like this look on you," I said and rubbed his light mound of hair. With each passing moment I spent with Kova, I found I had a little less modesty.
He brushed my hand away, veiling a grin. "Now that we have worked up an appetite, let me finish cooking for us." He smirked, then slapped my ass as I walked away.
Before I sat down, I walked to where all my medicine bottles were lined up. I studied them, hating that I had to take so many pills and that I had to do so for the rest of my life. I wasn't sure what would happen since I’d missed a dose—hopefully nothing too extreme. I wasn't sure how much more I could handle.
"Don't watch me," I said quietly when I felt the weight of his gaze on me.
I uncapped a bottle and poured out two capsules.
Kova handed me his water glass, stirring the food on the stove with his other hand.
"Want to talk about it?"
I downed the first two capsules without looking at him, then I opened the next bottle.
"Not yet."
"I will take it. That is better than a no."
I stared straight ahead, trying to figure out a way to avoid this conversation. I took the next set of pills.
"You already know everything, Kova."
"But I did not hear it come from you."
I turned toward him, frustration simmering below the surface. Kova turned off the stove and looked my way.
"Why do you need to hear it from me?" I asked. "To hear that I'm scared? That I don't know when I'll be stage five and that terrifies me? I'm fragile right now, okay, Kova? Not talking about it is the only way I can deal with it."
Kova's voice softened. "I am asking so I can feel what you are feeling. So I can get inside your head and see where you are, what I can do to help you. I told you, we are a team. I exhale, you inhale. I want to hear from your lips what is going on in your head so I can get on the same level as you and understand. You do not have to do it alone."
My jaw trembled. I hadn't expected that or the compassion in his eyes or for it to wrap around my heart. It moved me to observe him with a little more kindness. He was trying, just like I was.
"Do you want to talk about Joy, your wife, and the way they blackmailed you into marriage?"
"I know it seems that way, but yes, I do want to talk about it. I am not ready to discuss the fact that both the women in our lives are dirty little serpents, but I do want you to know why I married Katja and that it was not something I wanted."
"But at one time you did. One time you wanted to marry her and planned to," I retorted, then cringed, wondering when I would let that go.
"Yes, I did. I even bought the ring for when the time was right."
My burning heart dropped
"Do not be sorry. I really want us to be open with each other," he said, and I narrowed my eyes at him. He chuckled. "I am a work in progress, but I promise I am trying. I just want to focus on you right now."
I chewed the inside of my lip in contemplation and finally nodded. "I feel like I'm taking another huge risk for you, Kova. One hand is saying trust you, the other is saying run far away. Please, do not lie to me ever again. I honestly don't know if I could handle it if you do."
Regret weathered him. "I am eternally sorry for what happened and the way I handled things. I did and said a lot of things I didn't mean. It was not right and I am not making excuses for my actions, but I was backed up against a wall. Once you know everything, then you will understand. At least, I hope you will."
Turning back toward the bottles lined up against the wall on the counter, I stared at them, hoping they would give me a sign or an answer to the questions in my head and the feelings in my heart that I tried to ignore.
Reaching for the third bottle, I uncapped it and dumped the pills into my hand, then threw them back and swallowed them. Only four more bottles to go. At this point, I didn't have much left to lose.
Thirty-One
Kova placed the large pasta bowl I didn’t even know I had on the counter. I glanced inside as he twirled the food around then spooned it into two bowls and placed one in front of me. My eyes widened. Grilled chicken and asparagus in an Alfredo sauce. The steamy delicious aroma filled the air and my stomach growled. I hadn't had this kind of meal in ages.
"Wow. I didn't know you could cook like this." I laughed.
Kova sat next to me. "I actually love to cook. Last time I did, you did not eat."
I definitely didn't know that about him.
"Thank you," I said.
My heart shifted, like a small piece that had broken was glued back in place. Kova was a good guy. Despite his outlandish ways, he had a good heart. Albeit a tarnished one, but nothing that couldn't be cleaned and wiped anew.
"I know we do not have a normal"—he looked at me in search of the right word, but typical Kova and his lack of English mixed it up—"relationship, but I am always here for you. And I do not mean that on a coach/gymnast level. I hope you know by now I sincerely more than care about you."
That was the thing. He had been there for me, and much more as of late. I didn't loathe it, but I didn't love it either. I needed to find a way to come to terms with it.
"Just please, don't baby me. I know you were probably careful with me since you found everything out, but don't be. In order for me to be the best, I have to train hard, and part of that is you treating me like any other person training under you. Otherwise it will mess with me."
He stared at me for a long moment and rubbed the back of his neck. I thought he was going to disagree, but he surprised me.
"I will promise to go hard on you the same way I used to, if you promise to tell me when you are not feeling well. It can be as simple as a headache, but I need to know. Deal?"
I lit up. "Deal."
Kova put his hand out to shake on it, but instead, I threw my arms around his shoulders and sealed the deal with a hug.
Twirling the pasta on my fork, I took a bite and the flavor exploded in my mouth.
"Oh, my God! This is amazing!" I said, then twirled more onto my fork.
Appreciation spread throughout his face. This was restaurant quality. I should've known better. Anything Kova sets out to do, he does well.
An easy calmness settled in the air while we ate. Rain drenched my patio and hit the sliding glass door, but there was something rather peaceful about this moment. There wasn't an awkward second between us and I loved that. Kova had seconds, but I was too full after the rather large portion he'd given me.
Once we were finished, Kova took our bowls to the sink. I watched as he cleaned up my kitchen and thanked him again.
"I can't remember the last time I ate something so delicious or was this full. I probably won’t need to eat again until tomorrow."
He chuckled, and I loved how light and airy it sounded. Relaxed. It was surreal how this moment felt completely normal, like there was no huge age gap between us, no rules, no one to offer their two cents to us or look at us in disgust. Like we'd done this a million times. I wondered if this was what it was like to be in a full relationship with him.
"Oh God," I said suddenly, clutching myself as cramps rocked my abdomen. My stomach quivered, little bubbles swaying and popping inside me.
"What is wrong, malysh?" he asked, turning off the sink and drying his hands with a cloth. He eyed me with concern.
I shook my head. Hunching over, a cramp tore through my stomach and bile climbed up my throat. Heat curled through me raking its claws across my lower abdomen. Kova came over to help me up, but I couldn't stand. My legs trembled, and I felt weaker than I'd been in years. My hand gripped the table for leverage just as Kova was there to catch me.
"My stomach. It hurts so bad. I need the bathroom. Now," I insisted, chewing my lip raw. Anything to not focus on the shredding of my stomach.
I tried to take a few steps, but my legs were of no use. My knees buckled and I almost fell to the floor in a heap, but Kova was quick and scooped me up, cradling me to his chest.
"I have you," he said, his lips pressed to my forehead.
I covered my mouth, and muttered, "Hurry, Kova. I'm gonna be sick." I felt the food I’d just eaten coming up and prayed it stayed down, trying desperately to not vomit all over him.
Kova flipped on the lights and then let go of my legs, keeping a hold on my chest to help me stand. My sluggish body slid down his tall frame.
The sight of the toilet triggered me. I gagged and covered my mouth, fighting the vomit, but it was of no use. My stomach clenched and cramped. I ran from Kova's hold and lunged for the toilet. My knees slammed down to the tile floor with a loud whack and I bent over. The pain didn't register in my head. I was just in time to expel everything I'd eaten. My fingers curled around the ledge and the smell of the water coated my nostrils. Everything came up.
Tears slid down my cheeks as every conceivable disgusting sound spewed from my lips. Embarrassment burned my cheeks. I wanted to die. This was not how I’d pictured tonight going.
Though I was pretty sure my stomach was empty, I couldn't stop hurling. My hair stuck to my face and snot dripped from my nose. I tried to shove at Kova's bare chest but I got nowhere. He wasn't budging.
"Go away," I choked out. I didn’t want him to see me like this.
"Let me help you," he said sympathetically.
Thankfully, Kova did what he was good at and ignored my pleas.
He pulled my hair back, making sure to get the strands that were stuck to my damp face. Some of the tips had dipped into the vomit and I was instantly hot all over. Kova flushed the toilet, and a little mist hit my face. My teeth gnashed together as I tried to fight throwing up again, but it didn’t help. Eyes clenched shut, I leaned deeper into the bowl, unavoidably inhaling the rancid water as my body trembled violently. The back of my neck burned. Little pebbles of moisture beaded my tepid skin as I broke out in a sweat. Slowly, I opened my eyes only to realize it was a huge mistake because I vomited one more time.
Kova held my hair back with one hand and rubbed my back with his other. He flushed the toilet, then handed me a washcloth. I wiped my face, gagging.
When I was positive there was nothing left in my stomach, I shut the lid and folded my arms over it to rest my head. I couldn't get up. Everything felt swollen—my eyes, my lips, my body, my feet. I felt like I had a fever. I was uncomfortably bloated and a little pulse thrummed under every square inch of my skin. I felt so incredibly weak down to my bones. I just wanted to crawl into bed and hibernate under the covers. Kova took the wash cloth from my hand and gently dabbed and wiped the side of my face and neck as I stared at the wall in a daze.
"Thank you," came out in a broken whisper. My throat burned. "There's nothing worse on this planet than throwing up in front of someone. I'm sorry."
"Nonsense. It is normal and does not bother me. But I think you may have spewed your pills."
My eyes fluttered. "I feel disgusting." I licked my parched lips and I became nauseated all over again. As if he read my mind, Kova stood and turned on the shower.
"I think you look beautiful as always."
I almost laughed.
Using every ounce of willpower left in me, I held onto the wall and used my thighs to stand. Despite all the muscle in my body, I was useless. A few steps and I was in front of the shower reaching to feel the warmth. The heat engulfed my face and I sighed in content, feeling a little better. I loved steaming hot showers.
Drained with barely any energy to stand, I looked at myself in the mirror right as I reached to pull my shirt off and caught sight of my face. Christ on a stick. Mascara streaked my face like a badly designed maze. My full lips were abnormally swollen and red, and my eyes were puffy and bloodshot.
Exhaling a sigh, I tugged on the seam of my shirt and attempted to pull it over my head, but I was too faint and didn't have the strength. Kova walked back in just in time to see my struggle and took over. I didn't object. He gently pulled the shirt off, then dropped it to the floor.
Steam filled the bathroom. I glanced down. My stomach was caved in, hollowed, with a steep slope toward my ghastly protruding hips. I knew I'd lost a ton of weight due to the illnesses, but it was something I’d learned to ignore.
A hiss flew from his lips with a subtle shake of his head. "Ria," Kova whispered in disbelief, the back of his hand grazing down my pelvis. "I did not notice before."
He was concerned at the sight, and quite frankly, I was too now that I finally let myself look in the mirror.
"I'm fine. Just help me, please," I said, reaching out for him.
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