It wasn’t fair for her to feel this way, not when she had so much going on. Not when so many things in her life didn’t make sense. She had no room in her life for fairy tales.
“I’ll stick to the bridesmaid’s dress—and only because you’re forcing me to.” She spun around and faced the front of the boutique, wholly unprepared to see Josh staring at her, the leggy blonde at his side.
“Carly?” His face turned pale.
She raced into the solace of the changing room, cheeks hot with humiliation, and one word echoed at the back of her mind.
Always.
28
Josh took a step back and nearly ran into Rebecca.
Why was Carly wearing a wedding dress? Were she and the doctor more serious than she’d let on?
He looked up and found Quinn staring at him. She glanced at Rebecca, then spun around and disappeared into a dressing room.
Carly in a wedding dress. A dress that hugged her body in a way that sent his mind straight to places it shouldn’t go.
She looked like a goddess, like something out of one of his dreams.
Without thinking, his hand found his wallet, safe and secure in his back pocket—what was inside, a touchstone for times like this, times when his head couldn’t keep his emotions in line.
They’d never gotten married, but he had made her a promise. A few promises, in fact. The kind he didn’t take lightly. The kind he’d never forget.
Seven months pregnant and an emotional train wreck, Carly had begun the “freaking out” stage of pregnancy, and one night, Josh found her collapsed in a puddle, fear written all over her face. She leaned against the wall in the living room of the apartment above the flower shop—a place they could only afford because Mimi let them stay for free.
She looked up at him, then buried her face in her hands. “Don’t look at me. I’m a mess.”
He sat down next to her, put a hand on her knee. “What’s wrong?”
She wiped her wet cheeks with the sleeves of her sweatshirt, which he only just that second realized was actually his sweatshirt, then turned toward him. She was red-faced and splotchy, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Are you kidding? I know better than that.”
She frowned. “Then why are you smiling?”
“You’re cute is all.” He shrugged. “Even when you cry.”
She gave him a shove. “You don’t even know why I’m crying. It could be something really serious.”
“Or it could be because you feel fat and unattractive.” He watched her as she looked away.
“You think I’m fat.”
“I think you’re pregnant, and I’ve heard you say you’re fat every day for the last two months, and every time I’ve told you I think you’re beautiful.” He picked up her hands and held them for a few silent moments. “Or did you forget?”
She didn’t respond.
“Scared?”
Her face crumpled and her voice broke.
He pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’re not alone, Carly. I told you.”
“That was months ago. Look at me now—you really want to have a wife who looks like this?”
He felt his jaw go slack. “A wife?”
“Or whatever.” Her cheeks turned pink and she looked embarrassed.
“Does that mean you changed your mind?” He leaned back and took her in. “Because we can go to the courthouse tomorrow.”
“Are you crazy? I can’t get married like this. I look like a barn.” Her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face again.
He told himself not to laugh—she’d likely throat punch him if he did, but she was so adorably pathetic, it was a struggle to hold it together. “I think you look beautiful.” Please let that be the right thing to say.
She shot him a look that said, Whatever. I don’t believe you. Rolled her eyes and looked away.
He slid his arm up to her shoulder and squeezed. “Carly, I’ve never known anyone as amazing as you.”
She sniffled, then wiped her nose on her sleeve. He made a mental note to let her keep the sweatshirt.
He stood and looked around the room until his eyes landed on a plain one-subject notebook with a blue cover. He opened it and began writing.
“What are you doing?”
He shushed her.
After several minutes, he reread what he’d written, tore the page from the notebook and faced her. He knelt down in front of her. “Carly Raeanne Collins—”
“Josh—”
He held up his hand to silence her again. “I promise to love you the way I loved you the first time I ever saw you when we were kids. To remember the way my heart jumped the first time we held hands. To reinvent ways to kiss you like it was the first time we ever kissed. I promise to be faithful to you, to protect you, to listen to your advice and sometimes even take it.” He glanced up and found her smiling through tears that he hoped had turned happy.
“I promise to cherish you. To take care of you. To do what’s best for you and to always put your happiness before my own. I promise that in all things you will forever be my always.”
A tear streamed down her cheek, and he reached over and wiped it away with his thumb, letting his hand rest in the crook of her neck.
“You really mean it?” She looked up at him, eyes wide and uncharacteristically insecure.
“More than anything.” He leaned in and kissed her, the kind of kiss that made their problems melt away. Suddenly they weren’t two kids about to have a baby, they were Carly and Josh—two people who loved each other even though it made no sense.
“Maybe we have to wait to get married, but to me, it’s a done deal. These vows are the proof. This piece of paper makes it official.” He handed it to her, wishing it looked a little less like a high school English assignment and a little more like something worth framing, but it was heartfelt and that had to count for something.
Carly took the paper and pressed it to her chest. “I think this is the best gift you’ve ever given me.”
The memory of that night, coupled with the vision of Carly—his Carly—in that dress, had taken his heart out to the shed for a good and honest butt-whooping. He wasn’t sure when, or if, he’d ever recover.
“This is such an amazing shop.” Rebecca seemed not to notice the exchange that had just happened or the reaction it had drawn out of Josh, and that was probably for the best. The woman was notorious for poking around in his personal life, and he’d become a master at revealing nothing. He’d like to keep it that way, though he realized asking her to come to Harbor Pointe was probably not the best way to do so.
To Rebecca, Josh was a sad, slightly older man who seemed lonely and bored. How many times had she mentioned “a friend she could set him up with”? How many times had he refused?
Josh cleared his throat. “We should go.”
But Rebecca shot across the store with her face full of wonderment, her eyes wide and bright. She picked up a veil. “I absolutely love this.”
“You can get all this stuff in the city,” Josh said.
“For three times the cost.” She tossed him a look. “Aren’t you supposed to be selling me on this little town of yours?”
He turned a circle, raking a hand through his hair, feeling trapped like a rat in a cage.
The curtains on both changing rooms opened, as if the two sisters had been rehearsing their entrance in a musical. Josh might as well have had a mouth full of cotton. He tried—failed—to swallow around the dryness.
The little old woman who’d greeted them when they walked in bustled over to Carly and her sister. “Girls, you aren’t leaving?”
“Sorry, Dot,” Quinn said. “We’re kind of in a hurry, but we’ll be back. I wonder if you might be willing to hold this one for me?” She held up the dress, and Dot smiled.
“Of course I will, dear,” she said. “It was truly beautiful on you.”
“Josh, what do you think of th
is?”
He turned and found Rebecca holding up a lacy white garter with blue flowers on it. Once she had his attention, she grinned. “Just kidding. How much do you hate this store?” She’d whispered the last part—thankfully—or the old woman might’ve been offended.
Rebecca put the garter back, then spun toward him. “We can go now if you want. I can tell you’re bored.” Her eyes traveled across the room to where Carly was standing. She squinted. “Hey, isn’t that . . . ?”
“Rebecca, don’t.”
She looked at him, but she rarely listened. “It’s Jaden’s mom, isn’t it?” She smiled. “Finally, I can get the dirt on you.” She flounced over to Carly like they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years.
Seconds later, Carly looked up, horror on her face. Her eyes darted to Josh then back to Rebecca, who was just . . . about . . . to . . .
“You’re Carly,” Rebecca said in her usual bubbly tone.
Quinn’s eyes widened. Carly froze.
“I recognize you from the picture in Josh’s office.”
Josh hurried toward them, silently begging Rebecca to stop talking.
“He has my picture in his office?” Carly asked.
“It’s from the day Jaden was born,” Josh said, imagining it. It was the same one he’d had framed for Jaden’s room in his apartment. The same one he’d thrown into his duffel when he left for Harbor Pointe a few weeks before.
Carly practically glowed in that photo, snapped only seconds after Jaden had arrived. It was the only photo he had of the three of them. And if his office caught on fire, it would be the only thing he grabbed on his way out the door.
Carly watched him with eyes so intense it set him off-kilter.
“I’m so glad we ran into each other like this. I have so many questions,” Rebecca said.
“Who are you?” Carly asked in a not-quite-unfriendly-but-not-quite-friendly-either tone.
“Carly, Rebecca,” Josh said, motioning to each of them as he said their names. “Rebecca, Carly.”
“We work together,” Rebecca said. “I’m the real brains of the operation.” She winked.
Josh tugged her arm. “Becks, we should go.”
“Josh is on a mission to convince me it’s a good idea to make this cute little town our company’s new headquarters.” She smiled. “I gotta say, after sampling the fudge across the street, I might be on board.”
“You’re moving back?” Carly’s eyes darted to his, but he quickly looked away. He wasn’t ready to discuss the crazy idea that they should move here—not yet. He didn’t know if it would lead to anything, but Rebecca seemed to think everyone on the planet needed to know the innermost thoughts in his mind.
“I’m just exploring options,” he said.
Rebecca rolled her eyes dramatically. “He gave me the hard sell the second I got out of my rental car. Now I just have to convince my fiancé.”
“Your fiancé?” Quinn asked.
“Kyle.” Rebecca did that wide-eyed, I’m so in love thing girls do and Josh tried not to shrink under the weight of Carly’s glare.
Why hadn’t he told her he was considering moving back? That’s what she would want to know.
Because he was afraid of how she might react to the idea.
“We’re going to meet Jaden at that fancy new ski training center,” Rebecca said. “Maybe we’ll see you there?”
“Uh, maybe,” Carly said.
Josh tried to shake the image of her in the wedding dress, but so far he was failing. He couldn’t unsee something that beautiful.
“Okay, see you later, then,” Rebecca said. She leaned in and kissed Carly’s cheek. “So glad to finally meet you.”
Carly didn’t move or respond. She only stared at Josh, who gave them a lame wave and walked away.
29
After their unfortunate run-in with Josh and beautiful Rebecca, Carly didn’t feel much like shopping anymore.
Quinn sat across from her in their favorite booth at Hazel’s Kitchen, waiting for their lunch to be delivered and obviously waiting for her to say something.
Carly had nothing to say.
“What’s going on?” Quinn asked.
Carly knew lying to her sister was not an option—she’d always been able to see right through her. But telling her about the jumble of emotions was not an option either.
“Let’s talk about the wedding. Paris for the honeymoon, huh? What will you do there?”
Quinn frowned. “I will only talk to you about my wedding when I have your undivided attention.”
“You do.”
“I most certainly do not,” Quinn said. “And I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s bugging you.”
She frowned. “It’s nothing.”
“Is ‘nothing’ also known as ‘Josh’?”
Carly sighed. Told her about the lawn mower. Told her about the porch confession. Told her that her stomach still wobbled when he was around.
And to her surprise, Quinn didn’t try to talk her out of anything or tell her what a fool she was. She simply listened. Nodded at the appropriate times. Covered her hand with her own and smiled sympathetically.
“You and Josh were really good together once,” she finally said after Carly had gotten it all out.
“That was a lifetime ago,” Carly said. “And he broke my heart.”
Quinn nodded. “I remember. And I don’t want to let him back in either.”
Carly found her sister’s eyes. It had been hard for Quinn too, when Josh left. She’d loved him like a brother.
“But he is making some good choices,” Quinn said. “What if he has changed?”
Carly shook her head. “You can’t start talking like that, Q. I’m already floundering over here.”
“I know. It’s just—”
“What?”
“I saw the way he looked at you in that dress.”
Carly stilled. “Attraction was never our problem.”
Quinn shook her head. “It was more than that. He loves you, Car. Whether or not he’s capable of loving you the way you deserve though, that remains to be seen.”
Carly’s heart teeter-tottered in her chest.
“But every time we open our hearts, it’s a risk.”
Carly turned her water glass around in her hand, the condensation wetting her skin.
“If you decide to give him another chance,” Quinn said, “I’ll support you completely.”
Carly looked at her through cloudy eyes. “You will?”
Quinn nodded. “I just want you to be happy. And if Josh makes you happy, then I’ll be happy for you both.”
Carly couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation, but somehow it settled her nerves.
At least one person in town wouldn’t think she was crazy to give Josh a second chance.
After they left the diner, Carly and Quinn drove toward the training center to pick up Jaden.
“He’s probably had enough activity for one day,” Carly said as they arrived. She was a little surprised he’d lasted this long.
They walked in the large, nearly empty space and found Grady sitting at the front desk, on the computer.
“Place is looking great,” Carly said.
He looked up and smiled. “Just about ready for our grand opening.”
“Where’s Jaden? Did you watch him like a hawk?”
“I did until Josh got here.” He raised an eyebrow. “Who’s the blonde?”
“Just someone he works with,” Quinn said, widening her eyes.
Carly shrugged. “Even if she was more than a co-worker, that would be fine because Josh and I are not a couple.”
“Yet.”
Carly ignored her. “Where are they?”
“Just through there.” He pointed down a hallway and off Carly went. As she walked away, she heard Quinn say, “I might’ve found my wedding dress today.”
She smiled at the thought.
Down the hall and around to th
e right, Carly knew she would find the main attraction—a large, indoor slope that worked a little bit like a treadmill, but for skiers. According to Jaden, it could be adjusted depending on skill level, and it wasn’t an arcade game—it was serious training.
She knew it was breaking his heart not to be up there, trying it out for himself—the machine hadn’t been ready until after Jaden’s diagnosis. He could hardly wait to get out there himself.
Or not.
She followed the sound of laughter around the corner and through the doors, but when the machine came into view, she found Jaden—not sitting on the sidelines, but on the slope, wearing a pair of skis and cheering as he and Josh—what? Raced? Was this a simulated race?
“What are you doing?”
The laughter cut out as abruptly as a recorded track on an old sitcom.
“Mom!”
“You know the rules!” Carly glared. They were making her look like a horrible, mean, un-fun ogre—and in front of Rebecca. But really? What were they thinking?
“It’s on the easiest setting, Mom,” Jaden said. “And I’ve got my monitor on—my heart rate hasn’t changed a bit.”
“You know the rules.” She glared at Josh. Good old, fun, unreliable Josh. “And so do you.”
He stepped off the machine and shook his head. “Carly, I’m sorry. It really isn’t strenuous at all, and he was dying to try it out.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I can’t believe I trusted you.” Then to Jaden—“Get your stuff. We’re going home.”
She stormed out, and Josh followed her, though it was a bit tricky considering he was still wearing the skis. “Carly, wait.”
She didn’t stop. “I’ll be in the car. Jaden, you better hurry up.” She rushed past Quinn and Grady and out onto the sidewalk, the warm June air stifling and humid tonight.
Or maybe that was simply her situation constricting her lungs.
Josh ran out, barefoot, as couples walked by—tourists most likely—on their way to the boardwalk, a restaurant, the beach. Normal people who didn’t have piles of baggage and a million years between them.
She was jealous of those people.
“Carly, you know I would never let him do anything that might hurt him.” Josh rushed toward her car.
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 23
