“We really don’t need to talk about it, Gus—”
“I need to talk about it,” Gus said firmly.
Josh watched the older man gather his thoughts. “Okay, if we’re really doing this—You said I was a coward.”
“I said that without all the facts, son,” Gus said. “And I was wrong. I’m pretty sure you’re the opposite of a coward.”
Josh hung on the end of those words for longer than he should’ve. He drew in a long breath. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Oh?”
“It’s ancient history. Can’t rewrite the past.”
Gus frowned. “No, but you don’t have to let the past write your future.”
“You sound like a fortune cookie.” Josh felt a grin prickling the corner of his mouth.
Gus didn’t look amused. “Look, I misjudged you. I made a mistake. You had a hard life, much harder than any of us knew. Carly tried to tell me, but I’d had your dad in my ear every week. And by then, I’d seen some of the choices you were making. Not exactly a stellar record.”
Josh didn’t want to talk about this—not with Gus. Not with anybody. He wanted his dad to stay behind bars and he wanted to move on, hopefully with Carly and Jaden. The rest of it he wanted to bury.
But when he looked at Gus, he knew that this man’s opinion of him mattered too. More than he cared to admit.
“I’m sorry I didn’t help you back then, son,” Gus said.
Josh shook his head. He hadn’t come here for Gus’s apologies. He wasn’t prepared for it.
“I understand now that you left because you thought you were protecting them,” Gus said. “You gave them up because you really believed it’s what was best.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is for Carly to be safe. For Jaden to be safe,” Josh said. “Even if it meant I didn’t get to be with them.”
Gus nodded. “That’s a very unselfish thing you did.”
A lump formed at the back of Josh’s throat and he willed it away. The last thing he needed was to fall apart in front of Carly’s dad. “Carly is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
“If you really believe that, you’ll do everything you can not to let her go this time.”
“Does that mean—” He looked up hopefully.
Gus picked up a pencil and tapped it on the desk. “I really don’t like being wrong.”
Josh didn’t move.
“But when you’re wrong, you say you were wrong,” Gus said. “And then you move on.”
The words lit up the air, pulsing overhead like a neon sign.
“You got a bum deal having Jim for a father.” Gus leaned across the desk, hands folded in front of him. “But having a bad father doesn’t make you a bad father.”
Josh looked away. He’d come here to ask for Gus’s blessing. What he’d gotten was so much more. And it felt good to have it all out in the open—no more living in the shadows.
“Thanks, Gus,” Josh said.
“You’re a good man, Josh,” Gus said. “I see that now. You always were a good man, just a little misguided. And—” he made sure he had Josh’s full attention now—“you’re nothing like your father.”
The words melted into the broken spaces of Josh’s heart, winding their way deeper and deeper, warming and mending and healing as only love and forgiveness can.
“I know that now, sir,” Josh said.
“Good. Now comes the hard part.”
Josh frowned.
“Getting Carly to take you back.” Gus laughed. “She’s awfully stubborn, that one.”
Josh stood. “Yeah, I wonder where she gets that.”
Gus met him near the door and pulled Josh into the only fatherly hug he’d ever had, clasping his arms tightly around him and clapping him three times on the back.
When Josh pulled out of the embrace, he saw tears in the corners of Gus’s eyes. So different from his own father, who had never shown a single sign of remorse, even after Dylan’s death.
“Good luck, son,” Gus said. “I hope she’ll give you a second chance.”
Josh walked out to his truck and glanced down at the set of keys in the drink holder.
You don’t have to let the past write your future.
The words pricked at the edges of his heart, and Josh began to imagine a different future. Not the one where he came home from work to an empty apartment in the city. Not the one where he walked around with vows written in faded ink in his pocket. The one where he made good on his promises, where he put action to the words he’d written all those years ago.
He started the engine and exhaled a long, slow breath.
Could Josh ever be the person Carly made him want to be?
Could he figure out a new way to write his future?
He’d taken the first steps—but Gus was right—this is where it got hard. He pulled away from the curb and prayed that Carly would give him that second chance.
39
It had been four weeks since Jaden’s surgery, and his follow-up visit with Dr. Carroll could not have gone better.
Carly may have lost her promotion, but Jaden gained a first-rate doctor who was up on all the latest treatments for his particular condition.
The trade was more than fair.
Now she sat at the indoor training center, which was terribly cold, she realized—was Grady trying to create the atmosphere of winter for everyone who walked through the door? If yes, he’d succeeded.
She shivered as she watched Jaden move onto the simulator. His first practice back since surgery, and there was no way she was going to miss it.
Coach Ted Myers caught her eye and waved. “You’re Jaden’s mom?”
“I am,” she said.
“We’ve got high hopes for your son.”
She glanced at Jaden as he moved to the top of the indoor slope. “So do I.”
“Was awfully glad to hear his new doctor cleared him,” the coach said. “Our team will be stronger for it. Jaden’s passion is infectious.”
Ian Dobson moved toward the top of the simulator and fell. The machine, which was like an oversized treadmill set on a steep incline, hadn’t even been turned on yet. Jaden laughed.
“His dad is pretty passionate too,” the coach said. “At least about Jaden.”
Carly looked at Ted. “What do you mean?”
“Just the way he barreled into the office about a month ago. Made it pretty clear nobody was going to count his kid out—not yet anyway.”
Carly smiled. “Is that right?”
“Jaden’s lucky to have a dad who loves him so much.” The coach gave her a nod and walked toward the boys on the simulator. “All right, team. Let’s do this.”
She sat back and watched the entire practice, not to keep tabs on Jaden, just to relish the fact that he was back out there, defying the odds.
And one thought ran through her mind—Luck has nothing to do with it.
After ski practice, Carly took Jaden home. She sat on her porch, admiring her freshly cut grass, aware that mowing her lawn had become a weekly ritual for Josh.
She wasn’t complaining.
Gloria and Jaden were inside, and last she heard, Jaden was teaching her how to play Josh’s video game.
She’d escaped out here because she was secretly hoping he’d return, and frankly, she wanted to be the first one to see him when he did.
Freida Jenkins strode down the sidewalk, Elmer on a leash at her side, stopping in front of the house.
“Well, good afternoon,” the old woman said. “Your lawn looks mighty nice.”
Carly glanced up over her magazine and smiled. “Doesn’t it?”
“I’ve seen that handsome man out here taking care of things. You two are the talk of the town.”
For the first time, Carly didn’t mind that one bit. Let them all talk. Let the rumors spread that Josh Dixon had returned and that he’d kept his promises and found a way to take care of his family. Let them admire how dutiful he’d been. How dependable. How lo
yal.
She certainly admired those things about him.
No, he wasn’t perfect, but then, neither was she.
Freida waved and continued on, Elmer happily prancing along beside her.
“Jaden,” she called, “have you heard from your dad?”
“Nope,” Jaden yelled back. “Said he had some errand to run.”
An engine roared toward the house, and she turned toward the street just in time to see Josh’s truck pulling into her driveway, the sight of it causing a hitch in her breath.
He opened the door but didn’t turn off the engine, got out and looked at her.
Why did he have to be so handsome? And why did he have to be so kind? He’d been putting Carly first since the day they met—something told her he’d do that for the rest of his life if she let him.
If her heart had been torn before, it was shredded now.
Behind him, the dipping sun created an orange glow, bathing him in perfect golden-hour light. “Will you go for a ride with me?”
She frowned. It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. “Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“But Jaden—”
“Is he alone?”
She glanced back at the house. “Actually, no. He’s with your mom.”
Josh nodded. “I think he’ll be okay.”
“And your mom?”
“There’s no way my dad’s getting out tonight,” he said.
It was true. Right now was perhaps the safest they would be until his father’s trial.
“Okay,” she said.
“Yeah?” His face brightened, reminding her of the Josh she used to know.
“Should I tell them where we’re going?”
“You don’t know where we’re going.” There was mischief in Josh’s smile.
She looked away to hide her own smile. “Then should you tell them?”
“I’ll text Jaden.”
She got in the truck and closed the door. “Everything okay?”
He reached across the seat and squeezed her hand. “Everything’s good.”
He pulled out of the driveway but didn’t let go. She looked down at their two hands, still entwined, and her insides filled with warmth. She didn’t know where things stood between them, and while she wanted to label and define it, she chose to let it just be—for now anyway.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He smiled at her.
They drove through town and then along Bend Road, which had spectacular views of the lake.
His dad had been in court earlier that morning. Had Josh gone? Was that the errand he needed to run?
She ran her thumb over his hand. “You’re okay?”
He glanced at her. “I think I will be.”
She nodded, knowing it would take time to heal what was broken inside him and time to heal what had been broken between them. She only prayed it was time they had, that maybe they’d get that second chance, after all.
He veered onto a gravel road, which turned out to be a private driveway.
“I think we’re trespassing,” she said.
“It’s fine,” he said. “I promise.”
She eyed him suspiciously, searching for any hint of what he was up to, but found nothing but amusement behind his eyes.
They rode up over the hill and a sprawling white, two-story house came into view. With a large wraparound porch and direct view of the lake in the backyard, the cottage could’ve been photographed for magazines—and probably had. It had a distinctly upscale cottage feel, with a bright red mailbox, black light fixtures and a sweet little playhouse off to one side.
“Do you know Gerard Thomas?”
“Who?” Josh laughed.
“This is his house. He and his wife, Winnie, built it when he retired. I think all of their kids got married in the backyard, and one of them moved back in with her baby a few years ago.”
“I had no idea,” Josh said. “Pretty, right?”
Carly was perfectly happy in her quaint little cottage, but this house made hers look like a shanty. Josh pulled up into the driveway and Carly admired the giant hydrangea bushes flanking either side of the stairs leading up to the porch.
“Are we here for a dinner party or something?” Carly asked. “I’m not really dressed to see anyone.” She glanced down at her cut-off jean shorts and loose red tank.
He opened the door. “Come on, let’s go look around.”
She frowned as he got out of the truck, stopping in front of it and peering at her through the windshield. She opened her door and slid out, trying to make sense out of the scene.
“Come on!” He motioned for her to follow him, which she did, realizing it was the only way to figure out what he was up to.
He led her up the steps and onto the porch, then he pulled a key from his pocket and inserted it in the lock.
“What are you doing?” she hissed. She tossed a glance over her shoulder, as if Gerard and Winnie could show up at any moment.
“It’s fine, there’s no one here.”
“Is it, like, an Airbnb?”
“You ask a lot of questions.” He pushed the door open and smiled at her.
She walked through the door and looked around. “Wow.”
“Nice, right?”
“Josh, this house is amazing.” They stood in a wide entryway, and Carly admired the high ceilings that drew her eyes up to a second level. On one side of the staircase was a large family room and on the other, a formal dining room.
She followed Josh past the stairs to the back of the house, where there was a large, farmhouse-style kitchen with a breakfast nook and a big wall of windows that looked out across the lake. She moved toward one window, staring down at the private dock and a guesthouse off to one side.
“Do you like it?”
She turned and saw Josh leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, watching her.
“Are you kidding?” She faced him. “This place is incredible.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
Okay, now this was just getting weird. “Why?”
“Because it’s yours.” He held up a small set of keys and jangled them in the air.
“I don’t understand.”
“I mean, I was thinking my mom could live out in that little guesthouse,” he said. “It’s kind of perfect since she’s going to need some help, but she’ll also want her own space.”
Bewildered, she shook her head. “Josh, what are you saying?”
“Look, I know things have gotten really crazy, and they’re only going to get worse the more people find out about my family. It’s a lot to take in.”
She didn’t respond. It was true—it was a lot to take in—and yes, it was only going to get worse.
“But I’m not going anywhere.” He closed the space between them. “Even when things get hard.” He took her face in his hands and searched her eyes, but she was certain all he’d find there was confusion.
“Stay with me,” he said. “I know you like things in order. I know you want everything to fit neatly into all those little boxes you have to check off. You want stability and assurances and guarantees. But life doesn’t give us those things. Life is messy and chaotic and hard.”
“Josh—”
“Let me say this, Carly, please.” His hands slid down to her shoulders, then rested on her arms. “I won’t lie. I thought about leaving. I wanted to run. After I found out the truth about my brother—after I realized what my parents had done—I packed a bag and I sat there, trying to go.”
She exhaled a slow breath. “What stopped you?”
He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “Do you really need to ask?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“I couldn’t leave you again,” he said. “I kept thinking about you—about Jaden. I kept thinking about that kiss, the night you came over to the cabin. That one kiss wrecked me—made it clear that there was still so much between us.”
Her eyes misted as she struggled to wrap her mind around the words he spoke.
He fixed his gaze intently on her, looking for a moment like he was holding his breath. Slowly, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, opening it and sliding the faded sheet of notebook paper out.
He knelt down in front of her. “Carly Raeanne Collins—” He unfolded the sheet of paper.
“Josh—”
He smiled up at her, then glanced down at the page. “I promise to love you the way I loved you the first time I ever saw you when we were kids. To remember the way my heart jumped the first time we held hands. To reinvent ways to kiss you like it was the first time we ever kissed. I promise to be faithful to you, to protect you, to listen to your advice and sometimes even take it.”
A soft laugh escaped and she swiped a tear from her cheek.
“I promise to cherish you. To take care of you. To do what’s best for you and to always put your happiness before my own. I promise that in all things you will forever be my always.”
The words brought her to tears the way they had the first time she’d heard them. For the briefest moment, they were those same two kids who loved each other beyond reason, the pain of the past a distant memory.
He reached into his pocket again and pulled out a small box, opened it and held it out to her. “Carly, I know you feel like you and I are a risk, but we’re a risk worth taking, I promise. I’m going to love you every day for the rest of my life if you’ll let me.”
She sniffed. “I’ll let you.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “If you’ll let me love you back.”
He stood, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her toward him. He studied her face, as if memorizing every line, each one a moment he’d missed and needed to make up for. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”
She inched up on her tiptoes, drawing him closer, and her kiss became a promise to love and honor and cherish him in return.
His lips searched hers with all the familiarity of the years they’d been together and the curiosity of the years they’d been apart. She didn’t have guarantees—nobody did.
Just One Kiss: A Harbor Pointe Novel Page 30
