‘Is he going to the funeral?’
‘Yes. I told him there was no need, but he won’t hear of not coming.’
‘He’ll need to have his Captain Marvel cape on to deal with Hester.’
‘I think we’ll all have to put our superhero costumes on to deal with my mother.’
‘Will the gels be there too?’
‘Definitely. Apparently Gertrude is looking forward to it so much, she’s even postponed a hot date.’
‘A date? With a man?’
‘Indeed. Seemingly she’s joined some golden oldies dating agency.’
‘You’re kidding. She’s got to be…how old...eighty-five?’
‘Give or take half a decade. She’s very frail. I’m surprised she’s got the energy to even think about dating. And she’s not exactly looking her best at the moment. The last time I saw her she had a mouth like a dog’s bum due to giving her gums a rest from dentures.’
Lucy tittered. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.’
‘No, you shouldn’t,’ Rosie waggled a finger playfully, ‘after all, we’ll be like that one day.’
‘Well, if my sex drive is anything like it is now, I suppose it’s something to be considered.’
‘I wonder what Gertrude’s dating profile says,’ Rosie mused.
‘How about,’ Lucy paused to glug some wine, ‘Blue-haired beauty, eighties, slim, five feet four inches (used to be five foot seven) seeks sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.’
Rosie gave a snort which turned into a cough as the wine went down the wrong way. ‘Or what about,’ she dabbed her watering eyes, ‘Super spinster, can usually remember Monday through to Thursday. If you can remember Friday to Sunday, let’s put our heads together.’
They laughed companionably.
‘Here’s one for Hester! Grandmother with original teeth and a winning smile seeks dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.’
‘Not bad. What about…Groovy hen (once a groovy chick), likes cruising on a Saturday night on her mobility scooter and sometimes playing rock songs on her guitar, looking for a like-minded guy to listen to her eight-track tapes.’
‘Ooh, ooh, I’ve got a better one,’ Lucy waved her arms about excitedly, slopping wine down her front, ‘Serene spinster who’s into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation, seeks the silent type. Let’s get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.’
Rosie snorted into her hand. ‘I can better that…recent widow who has just buried her fourth husband, is looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting and shortness of breath isn’t a problem.’
‘Ooh, yes, that’s a good one, and maybe this would be an okay response: Male, nineteen-thirty-two model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hips, knees, and cornea, isn’t in running condition, but walks well.’
The two women clapped their hands together and hooted with amusement. For Rosie, an evening of poking gentle fun at her mother and the gels was just what the doctor ordered.
‘Which brings us back to Matt,’ said Lucy. ‘I know you like him. It’s obvious.’
‘Of course I like him,’ said Rosie carefully, ‘I’ve already told you, he’s a mate.’
‘If you say so,’ Lucy sniffed, ‘and if you want my opinion–’
‘Which I don’t!’
‘–you’ll see off Cheryl Big Boobs and make yourself available.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Rosie spluttered.
‘Life’s too short. No, listen to me, Rosie.’ Lucy shifted forward on the sofa and gave her best friend a no-nonsense look. ‘You once had a boyfriend who bonked your mate and wrecked your self-esteem in the process. You were in a highly vulnerable state and, thanks to your mother chipping away another layer of self-esteem, you boomeranged off on the rebound and married the first dipstick that came along. And then look what happened. You ended up with an out-of-work drunk who gambled away almost everything, without a care for you or Luke. The best thing Dave did was accidentally taking that highway to heaven – no, don’t look at me like that, Rosie. His demise has resolved all your problems. After a bit of aggro, you’ve got your life back and will soon have a tidy sum of money behind you. And it just so happens that you’re currently sharing a luxury apartment with a wealthy businessman who is drop-dead gorgeous and looks at you like you’re God’s gift. I don’t care what anybody thinks, if it feels right, Rosie, then go for it.’
Rosie stared through bloodshot eyes at her best friend. Suddenly she felt tremendously tired. The wine had caught up with her. ‘You’ve got it all wrong,’ she mumbled.
‘No I haven’t.’
‘And anyway,’ she waved a hand carelessly, ‘Matt likes Cheryl.’
‘You’re not going to be defeated by a woman with a bust size almost as big as her ego are you? I’m telling you, Rosie, she can’t hold a candle to you. He’s yours for the taking. He just needs you to give him the green light.’
Rosie grimaced. What? Like the other night? When she’d so nearly zoomed in on him and almost pushed him down against the very sofa Lucy was now sitting on? She couldn’t tell her best friend about that. She just couldn’t. It was too embarrassing. Abruptly, Rosie stood up, swaying slightly.
‘I’m going to bed. I’ll get you a spare duvet.’
Ten minutes later both women were fast asleep. In the lounge, on the sofa, Lucy dreamt of marrying Gregory. In her bed, next to Luke’s cot, Rosie dreamt of Brighton and walking hand in hand along the pebble beach with a man whose face she couldn’t quite see.
Chapter Forty-Three
Nursing a hangover, Rosie climbed out of Lucy’s car. Reaching for the rear passenger door handle, she leant inside to release Luke from his safety straps. There was the sound of the driver’s door clunking and a second later Lucy was standing by her side.
‘Let me give you a hand with that car seat.’
‘Thanks. I’m looking forward to the day when I don’t have so much baby paraphernalia to cart around everywhere.’
‘As soon as you cash in that life insurance cheque, you’ll be able to buy your own set of wheels and this side of life will be less of a struggle.’
‘Indeed,’ Rosie grunted as she swung Luke onto her hip and manhandled a baby holdall onto her free shoulder. She walked around the rear of the car and stood on the pavement. She was outside her old house.
‘Are you going to Karen’s first?’ Lucy asked.
‘Yes, she’s looking after Luke while I see the estate agent.’ Rosie stared up at her house and cast an eye over the peeling paintwork and rotting windows. Hopefully there were some prospective buyers out there looking for a project. ‘I’d better make sure the place looks as presentable as possible for the photographs – not that you can make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear.’
‘And talking of pigs, I take it the one that graced the marital bed has long gone.’
‘Yes,’ Rosie wrinkled her nose, ‘but I need to strip beds and do some serious chucking out. There’s a roll of thick black sacks in Luke’s holdall that I mustn’t forget to take out. A house clearance company is coming in later, so there’s quite a bit to oversee today. I’ll just be glad when I’m shot of this place.’ She turned to Lucy and gave her a peck on the cheek. ‘Thanks for the lift and keeping me company last night.’
‘The pleasure was all mine. I’m now going to enjoy a few days off work and just chilling out.’
‘When are you going back to the office?’
‘Monday. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it. No doubt one or two of the men will be thrilled to bits to hear my imminent wedding day has gone down the tubes. If any of them start calling me Lucy Lycra again, I’ll swing for them. Meanwhile, see you tomorrow. If you don’t mind, I’ll skip the bit at Hester’s house for squeamish reasons.’
‘That’s totally understandable,’ Rosie grimaced. ‘I’m not exactly thrilled to bits to know Dave
will be laid out in my mother’s front room.’
Lucy gave Rosie’s hand a final squeeze before climbing back into the driver’s seat. Starting the engine, she buzzed down the window. ‘See you at the church. Take care until then.’ With a toot and a wave, she was gone.
At that moment Karen opened her front door. She hastened down the garden path to help Rosie with the car seat.
‘Hello, hello!’ she gave Luke a big kiss and then hugged Rosie. ‘Ooh, you look a bit peaky. Hardly surprising though, given everything that’s been happening lately.’
‘Drinking a bucket of wine with Lucy last night didn’t help,’ Rosie smiled ruefully.
‘Ah, that one knows how to put it away,’ Karen nodded sagely, ‘whereas you’re not so good at it. Come on in. I’ll make you a nice strong coffee before the estate agent arrives.’
‘I can’t tell you how grateful I am for all the help you give me with Luke.’ Rosie followed Karen into the hallway. ‘And especially regarding tomorrow. I know Dave is Luke’s father, but I don’t feel comfortable taking a baby to a funeral.’
‘Listen,’ Karen reached out and took Luke from Rosie, ‘where this young man is concerned, nothing is any trouble at all.’ She gave Luke another resounding kiss on a chubby cheek and made him chuckle out loud. She went through to the kitchen, Rosie trailing behind. ‘You put the kettle on, Rosie, while I have a cuddle with my favourite little person.’ She hugged the baby to her and did a little dance around the kitchen, making Luke chortle again. ‘I know people do sometimes take babies to funerals, but I personally think it should be avoided. Luke will be absolutely fine here with me, and you can say your farewells to Dave without a wailing child and disruption. I wish I could be with you and support you. Will you be all right?’
‘Yes. Lucy will be there.’ Rosie set about spooning coffee into mugs. ‘And Matt,’ she added casually. Why did mentioning Matt’s name make her flush as if guilty of something?
‘Ah, yes, Matt. That one is quite the Prince Charming.’ Karen plonked herself down on a kitchen chair, Luke on her lap. Glancing up, she gave Rosie a shrewd look. ‘If I weren’t mistaken, I’d think the guy had a huge soft spot for you.’
‘Well, you are mistaken.’ Rosie added boiling water and milk before giving the coffees a brisk stir. Turning, she walked over to the table and set the mugs down. ‘My wretched mother keeps referring to Matt as my ‘lover’ and makes snide comments about the pair of us bonking for Britain.’
‘And you’re not?’ asked Karen slyly.
‘Oh, for goodness sake,’ Rosie cried, ‘not you too! What sort of person does everybody think I am? And anyway, as I said to Lucy, Matt has a girlfriend.’
‘Really?’ Karen’s eyebrows nearly shot off her forehead. ‘You do surprise me. She must be incredibly tolerant knowing that her man is living with a gorgeous blonde damsel in distress and fighting off nasty baddies for her too.’
‘She’s a new girlfriend,’ Rosie emphasised before taking a sip of her coffee.
‘I can’t see her lasting five minutes when she discovers you’re ensconced in his apartment.’ Karen stretched an arm sideways for her coffee. Keeping the cup well away from Luke, she took a few noisy slurps, and then looked contemplative. ‘So you have both Lucy and Matt looking after you tomorrow. You’ll definitely be okay?’
‘I’m sure everything will go like clockwork.’
Which showed how much Rosie knew.
Chapter Forty-Four
Matt stirred. Half his duvet was hanging off the bed and trailing over the floor. What a restless night’s sleep. He glanced at the clock-radio. Not quite seven.
He’d arrived back from Manchester late last night, just as Rosie was getting ready to turn in for the night. Matt had been determined to put the awkwardness of Tuesday night behind them and carry on as if nothing had happened. No near kiss, no near miss, and absolutely no imagined sexual tension. He’d found Rosie in the kitchen making herself a bedtime cocoa, and greeted her with what he’d hoped was a balance between enthusiasm and indifference. She’d jumped like a scalded cat, practically flattening herself against the wall as she’d edged past him to her bedroom. Poor woman. He’d be sure to mention Cheryl at the earliest opportunity, then Rosie could relax, safe in the knowledge that Matt didn’t have any feelings for her at all. And then Tuesday night’s buzz-in-the-air would be put down to imagination heightened by brandy.
Matt swung his legs out of bed and wandered off to the en-suite bathroom. He’d have a super-quick shower, and then see if Rosie needed any help with Luke so she could have her own shower in peace. Matt stepped into the huge cubicle. Seconds later, hot water was blasting over him. He had a sudden image of Rosie standing next to him, head back and laughing, her long blonde hair turning the colour of wet sand as water slicked it to her back, tendrils trailing over her shoulders and down over her…That’s enough of that, Matthew Palmer. Grimacing, Matt turned the shower dial to cold.
Rosie spooned the last of the baby cereal into Luke’s mouth. She could hear Matt up and about. Wardrobe doors were now opening and closing. Half a minute later and he was standing in the kitchen doorway. His hair was still wet from the shower. A dressing gown was knotted loosely around his midriff. Rosie wondered if it was just bare skin underneath that robe or whether he had some boxer shorts on. Pack it in, Rosie Perfect. She felt herself redden. That was another thing. All she seemed to do now was blush in Matt’s company. She forced herself to momentarily think dreary thoughts about the Chancellor of the Exchequer and whether Sam Cam minded having a drag queen brother. The colour subsided from her cheeks.
‘Hi,’ she smiled brightly.
‘Hey, how’re you feeling?’ Matt leant against the doorframe. ‘Big day today.’
‘Yeah.’ Rosie reached for a muslin and wiped Luke’s mouth. ‘I’ll get through it.’ She unstrapped Luke from the highchair and lifted him out.
‘Want me to take him?’ Matt held out his arms and walked over to her. For a horrible moment it looked as though he was going to embrace Rosie. She held Luke out in front of her, like a shield. Matt took the baby and placed him on his hip. ‘There we are, young man. Let us have a bit of bloke time together while Mummy gets herself ready.’
Rosie hesitated. ‘Well, that would be great, but I need to clear up our breakfast stuff and wipe the highchair down and–’
‘Leave it to me.’ Matt went to a cupboard and pulled out a pack of anti-bacterial wipes. ‘You want to see how to clean your chair?’ he asked Luke. The baby grinned, revealing two pearl-like bottom teeth. ‘Of course you do! Let’s get to work. And Rosie?’ Matt swung round to face her. ‘You sort yourself out quietly and without interruption. Go on. Take as long as you like. Although,’ he looked at the clock on the oven, ‘perhaps not too long. Are you okay to leave for Karen’s in half an hour?’
‘Sure. That would be perfect.’
‘No problem, Ms Perfect.’
Rosie manoeuvred past the highchair and hastened off to her room. She wanted to make some sort of effort with her appearance. Not for Matt, but for her mother. The last thing she wanted was Hester loudly berating her in front of an audience and saying something like, ‘Honestly, Rosie, a bottle of milk has more colour than you.’
Rosie stepped into the shower. Today she was going to knock ’em dead…which was quite apposite considering it was a funeral.
Matt turned the Beamer into Hester’s road. He glanced at Rosie. She looked pale but very beautiful. Outwardly she was composed, but he had no idea how she was feeling on the inside. She’d not said a word since leaving Luke with Karen a quarter of an hour ago. Signalling, he edged the BMW behind a brand new hatchback with a massive dent in its rear.
‘Oh, that’s Catherine’s car,’ said Rosie with concern. ‘She’s one of my mother’s friends. Mum refers to all her old cronies as the gels. Catherine is in her eighties. Her eyesight isn’t great, and judging by the size of that smack, she’s been driving without her glasses again.’
‘P
erhaps I should park somewhere else,’ Matt said nervously.
‘The road is choc-a-bloc. Just give her car as wide a berth as possible.’
‘Will do.’
Matt finished straightening up and switched off the engine. Swinging open the driver’s door, he walked to the other side of the Beamer. As he did so, he took in Hester’s neat semi-detached house with postage stamp front lawn. Every blade of grass was standing to attention. Flowerbeds stuffed with spring flowers edged the lawn. Matt noticed the earth was neatly turned. Not one weed dared to blemish the display. He opened the passenger door for Rosie.
‘Thanks,’ she said. Matt tried not to notice Rosie’s long, perfectly shaped legs unfolding from the depths of the car.
‘Here,’ he stepped forward and offered his elbow.
‘Now if I take your arm, my mother really will think we’re an item.’
‘That’s fine by me,’ Matt gave her a mischievous smile.
‘Ah, but would Cheryl approve?’ Rosie twinkled back.
Matt looked startled. ‘How do you know about her?’
‘Lucy told me. I’m very pleased for you both.’
‘It’s just a date,’ Matt said lightly, ‘not a marriage announcement.’
‘You never know,’ Rosie teased, ‘this relationship might be the one that ticks all the boxes.’
‘I doubt it. And anyway, it’s not a relationship,’ said Matt firmly.
‘Well, I’m just pleased you’re having a night out without a widow and her baby hampering you.’
Matt looked non-plussed. ‘You and Luke don’t hamper me. It’s a pleasure having you both around.’ He took Rosie’s hand and squeezed it. ‘I mean that.’
The Perfect Marriage Page 19
