We haven’t done much of that since I graduated a few months ago. I needed to break away from my brother and his friends. I needed to make my own life, find out who I am outside of DRAB.
DRAB is a nickname everyone in the neighborhood gave the guys back when we were just kids. One letter for each of their names, making it easier to refer to all of them at once instead of having to spout out all four names each time.
Who am I kidding? If I’m being honest, I needed to move on from Dex. He’s just… too much. Being near him is the best and worst thing at the same time. He makes me feel whole, makes me feel wanted, and makes me feel seen. But I know it will never be in the way I want. And that’s the part that hurts.
That’s why I need to move on. In order to create any type of life for myself, I have to distance myself from him and heal the broken parts of my heart he’s unknowingly chiseled away all these years. With every girl I see him with, with every story I hear him brag to the guys about, with every flirt I have to witness directed at every female but me… A piece chips away, leaving me a little more broken each time.
It’s not healthy, and it’s not gonna change.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Something had to change. So I did. Now here he is, trying to reel me back into his insanity.
“I didn’t bring my board or my wetsuit. I just came to catch some sun.” I tell him, effectively dismissing his idea.
“You think I didn’t come prepared? I swung by your place and grabbed your things from the shed when I found out you weren’t at work.” He tells me proudly.
He has no fucking idea how desperately in love I am with him. And I refuse to tell him. Therefore, I have no logical reason to say no. Dex knows I’m a sucker for ridin’ a good wave.
So like the love-sick fool I am...
I allow him to reel me back in.
Just like I always do.
I don’t even bother telling him yes. He knows he got me. I just sigh, wordlessly standing up to pack my stuff and take it back to my car. While I do so, Dex grabs all of our gear from the back his truck, a triumphant smile on his face the entire time.
He sticks the boards in the sand as I slip my coral wetsuit on over my bikini. As I reach my arm back to grab the strap to zip up my back, he slaps my hand away and does it himself. I try not to think too much into it, knowing wishful thinking won’t do me any good. Dex is protective as hell over me. Just like my brother. He just wants to make sure I’m tucked in all right, preventing myself from any kind of exposure to what could harm me under the waves.
He steps to my side and pulls me in for a hug against his gloriously hard, sexy body. I squeeze my eyes closed, chanting to myself that to him, I’m just a friend. That’s all he sees me as. That’s all I will ever be.
I have to find a way to be okay with that.
“I missed ya, Breezie. We should do this more often.”
He kisses the top of my head and grabs his board, taking off towards the waves while I stand there frozen in place, trying to decipher what the hell just happened. Dex and I have always been friends and always hung out without the other guys. But something about this is new… Different.
I shake the thought away with a quickness. I know better than to get my hopes up. He’ll have a busty blonde on his arm next week. These thoughts are dangerous, and exactly why I should keep my distance.
Starting tomorrow.
Today I’ll just be happy in the waves with Dex.
It’s better than being alone with my music, right?
The answer to that question is exactly why I keep ending up in these fucked up positions anyway.
I’d rather have Dex like this than not have him at all.
He loves me in his own way. Even though it’s not the way I want, it’s enough right?
Chapter Five
ABEL
Bree has been missing for six days, and Max has been missing for two. So far every lead the police have come across has run into a dead end. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.
Bottom line… I’m a wreck.
I don’t know what condition either of the girls is in, or if they’re even still alive. Every day that passes, my resolve goes with it.
I haven’t moved from Max’s side of the bed since I got home from the police station yesterday morning. I can’t seem to get myself to leave this room. This is all I have of Max right now. I’m afraid if I leave that her scent will be gone when I get back. I’m not ready for that yet. It’s the only thing keeping me sane.
“Have you eaten yet?’
“No.”
“You should try and eat something.”
“I’m good.”
“You’re not good, man. You haven’t eaten since dinner on Friday night and it’s Sunday afternoon. You need to keep your strength up. Max wouldn’t want to see you like this. Between you and Dex, I’m just trying to do my best to make sure you’re both okay.”
“I know Brody. Thanks, but I just can’t, man. I just… I can’t. Okay?”
“I get it, man. Just at least drink some water or something okay?”
“Sure.” I agree just to make him feel better.
It seems to appease him for the time being, although I think a part of him suspects it was disingenuous.
Brody walks out of the room, clearly at a loss for what the fuck to do with me. Hell, I don’t even know what to do with me at this point. Nothing will be right in my life again until Max and Bree are found. And even if I could stomach actually eating food, I don’t know if I would. I don’t know if the two most important women in my life are getting food and water right now. It doesn’t seem fair that I should get them when they might not be.
Life as I know it is on hold indefinitely. Everything shy of breathing just seems to be a slap in the face of the women who are out there, no doubt begging for us to find them. Even all of my responsibilities at the shop are just going to have to wait.
All of us guys, Dex, Ryan, and Brody, and I, all own and operate DRAB custom bikes. Bree works as our receptionist and bookkeeper. Needless to say, the shop is currently short-staffed. Brody and Ryan have been doing their best to run the shop without us. I know it’s been hard on them the last couple of days, but they understand.
Dex is functioning better than I am, but let’s be honest… He’s still a goddamn wreck. There’s no way that either one of us would be any use at the shop, right now. When you build bikes from the ground up or rebuild what’s already there, you have to be one hundred percent devoted to the task at hand. You can’t have your head halfway in the game, which leads to mistakes and in turn puts people’s lives at risk.
So we’ve chosen to temporarily bow out. Our customers are just going to have to wait. Rob has already taken so much from our family, I hate that he has the ability to take so much from so many, but I can’t change it. None of us can.
The day Bree was abducted, she and I got into an argument which led her to go out to lunch by herself instead of taking protection with her. We knew Rob was out of prison after he prank dialed Max and left a note for her to find while she was out with the girls. The guys and I basically called for a lockdown, bringing our whole family together under one roof. No one was supposed to leave without an escort, but my sister has always had a way of getting whatever she wants where the guys and I are concerned. It’s her superpower somehow.
The fight Bree and I had was about her confessing that she was in love with my best friend. Not only was she in love with him, but he apparently reciprocated those feelings tenfold. The news rocked me to my core, my immediate reaction being to effectively shut it the fuck down. I couldn’t accept what she was saying to me. I couldn’t believe that they both hid their feelings from each other, from me, for so long.
Dex is a good guy, don’t get me wrong. Hell, he’s been one of the best guys I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t have stayed friends with him for so long if he
wasn’t. I wouldn’t have let him and Bree have their own little side friendship if I thought he wasn’t a good guy.
I damn sure wouldn’t have left him alone with my baby sister had I known then what I know now.
I shake my head of those thoughts, trying like hell to gain a new perspective on the situation. Especially after what’s happened since that discovery. I have to come to terms with it I suppose. I can’t make Bree’s decisions for her, we aren’t kids anymore. But I just… I don’t like it.
I don’t like the thought of my sister and my best friend together. Not because they aren’t good people or because I don’t want them to be happy. No, it’s because I know them both better than they care to admit. Bree has commitment issues that she refuses to admit. Dex is a certified man-whore who rarely learns the names of his conquests. How the hell do they think they’re going to put that aside? Do they not realize how this could impact everyone in our lives?
I tried to get Bree to understand all of this, but instead, she just got pissed. This is why I thought I was doing us both a favor by letting her go to lunch by herself without any protection.
I let my emotions rule my behavior, and look what happened. My reaction to the situation cost me my sister, my girlfriend, my unborn children, my best friend, and my ability to my damn job.
Needless to say, I’m not fucking coping well.
Dex and I have barely spoken since Bree was taken. I know there’s a part of him, no matter if he wants to admit it or not, that blames me. And I can’t even be mad at him for it. I blame myself.
The most Dex and I have spoken was when I told Ryan and Brody that I wasn’t going to be at the shop tomorrow, that I couldn’t go back until I found the girls. Dex overheard, and chimed in, agreeing to the same conditions. We shared a couple of sentences, agreeing to go in first thing Monday morning, long enough to call all of our clients. The plan is to let them know that for the time being, all of our custom work will be delayed until the girls are found and brought home safely.
We both know that we’re worthless right now and couldn’t focus on our work even if we wanted to. While we do that, Brody will call a temp agency to try and find someone to take over the front desk for Bree in the meantime. We aren’t giving up hope that the girls will be found and brought home safely soon, we just know we have to be smart and keep the business operating.
This tension between Dex and me… The fact that we aren’t even really speaking to each other… This is why I knew that a relationship between him and my sister would be a bad idea. Because now whatever the two of them feel for each other, stands between me and my best friend, causing a rift that I don’t know if we can get past.
I sigh, sitting up in bed, guilt consuming me.
The truth is, I would sacrifice my friendship with Dex if it would bring Bree and Max home. If only one Cooper can have him, I’d happily let Bree be on the receiving end. As long as I get the girls back safely…
Hell, I’d do anything.
No one has a fucking clue where Rob took the girls. We got lucky with the ATM that caught him on camera, abducting Bree outside the café. Between that and him leaving behind the syringes he used to drug the girls when he abducted them, that’s the only evidence we have on him. How he managed to plan this shit so well with only being out of prison for a month is beyond me.
***
It’s now Monday morning so I call Shane, our attorney, for an update. Thankfully, Shane has good news for me. It’s about damn time that someone does.
The police have a couple of leads. One of which is where they think Rob has been staying for the last month. They’re going to send some officers over to check it out and hopefully find something that can tell us where the girls are.
I need more good news. I need answers. I have to know where my family is so that I can bring them home. There is literally no other option that I am willing to entertain out loud. I refuse to allow myself to get lost in my darkest fears. They may consume me when I’m alone in mine and Max’s room… But I quickly kick my own ass for letting it happen.
We will find them.
We will bring them home.
After my call with Shane, I walk down the hall to Dex’s closed door. I knock lightly, unsure if he’s even awake or not.
I hear the melody of a familiar song drifting through the crack under the door, confirming that he’s awake and choosing to ignore my knocks.
I shake my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. I know that he’ll want to hear about my call with Shane more than he wants to ignore me. I turn the knob, walking in uninvited.
‘Risk’ by Deftones fills the room. Bree loves this song. She normally listens to more girly rocky, but she’s always had a soft spot for Deftones.
I lean against the door frame, letting out a sigh, unsure how to fix this void between Dex and I. He sits on the edge of his bed, facing away from the door, feet planted on the ground. I can tell that he’s holding something in his hands, but from this angle, I can’t tell what it is.
“I almost told you once ya know. Right after she turned 16, I almost told you. That was the first time I was ever scared of losing her.”
I close my eyes, not emotionally prepared for this side of my best friend. He’s normally the happy go lucky guy with all kinds of jokes and barbs ready to unleash at any given time. Hearing him like this… It’s a first for me.
I don’t ask any questions, knowing he’ll tell me when he’s ready. So instead, I lean off of the door jam and walk my way over to his bed, finding a seat on the opposite end from where he sits. We’re now back to back, the only sounds permeating between us are the heart-clenching words of Chino Moreno.
“Collin Hamilton was the only guy she ever dated that was worth a damn. He worshipped the ground she walked on and bent over backward for her attention. For a long time, it was almost comical, watching her dodge his attempts to win her over. She turned him down for so long, do you remember that?”
I think back to when I was 19 years old, honing in on the memories he’s recalling. I graduated the year before and was working three jobs at the time to be able to provide a good life for Bree and me. That’s what I remember most about that time, but I try with all I have to hone in on what Dex is remembering. It takes me a few moments, but I eventually latch on to the memories.
“Yeah, I remember.” I tell him quietly.
“He showed up everywhere, vying for her time. He carried all her bags, helped her study at the café, he even showed up at your house one morning with a bouquet of store-bought flowers, just to make her smile. She always told him no.”
“I can’t remember what made her change her mind. She ended up dating that kid for a couple of months, right?” I ask, drawing a blank on when things changed.
“Yeah, she did.” His voice cracks slightly, giving him a slight pause. He clears his throat, sniffling as he does, and then continues on, not wanting to draw any attention to his emotions.
“He showed up at your house one day while you were at work. Bree and I were just hangin’ out like we normally did when you were at work so much. She somehow talked me into letting her paint my nails. You know how she is.”
I hear the smile in his voice, and one appears on my face too. See… Everyone knows about her superpower.
“Well, he showed up and stayed on the porch the whole time. He made her mixed CDs of all her favorite bands and brought her a fruit smoothie, knowing all of her favorites. I’ll never forget what he said to her. He said ‘If you don’t want to be with me, I’ll respect that. If you can look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t like me, I’ll believe it. I’ll leave you alone. But if you would give me just one chance, I think I could be a really good boyfriend to you. That’s all I want Bree, just one chance. I won’t screw it up.”
He drifts off for a moment, turning his body on his bed and I do the same, following his lead. The movement allows me to finally see what’s in his hand. With tattered edges, and
the sides yellowing with age, he holds a picture of him and Bree at the State Fair when we were all teenagers.
In the photo, he’s giving her a piggyback ride. She sits up high on his back as she laughs at whatever was going on, pink cotton candy in one hand, and a giant teddy bear in the other. You can see where Dex is holding on to her with one arm around his back, and his other hand is reaching up to steal some of her cotton candy.
They went to the fair every year together. Even after Ryan, Brody, and I stopped wanting to go… Dex always took Bree.
I pull my attention away from the photo, and to my best friend when he starts his story again.
“She stood in the doorway, listening to his plea, while I sat on the couch, pretending to text someone so she couldn’t tell I was snooping. But I was listening to every word, torn between wanting her to be happy, and wanting her to be with me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look back to me and for the life of me I couldn’t tell why she looked sad. The captain of the star player of the baseball team had just asked her out, was doting all over her, and she looked sad when she saw me. She turned back to him and said yes, even though I could tell that her heart wasn’t in it. Back then, I didn’t know why.”
“So why did you think you were going to lose her?” I ask, not sure where the story is going.
“Because after about two weeks, she actually started to like him back. She started canceling plans that we made together. She stopped making plans with me altogether. And that was the year she stopped asking me to go to the fair with her. When I asked her why, she blushed, getting all shy, and told me that Collin asked her to go instead. I got jealous, knowing that he could have the one thing I never could. So I decided to go fuck the girl she hated most.”
“You fucked Stacy Logan The one girl you knew had it out for my sister, making her life hell whenever she could?” I ask, growing defensive of my sister.
“I needed her to hate me, Abel. Don’t you see that? I needed some fucking reason to make her walk away from me because I couldn’t walk away from her. I needed to stop loving her so much that it fucking tore at my soul. I needed her to be the one because I couldn’t do it.”
Revival Page 6
