Perfection of Suffering (The Shadows of Wildberry Lane Book 1)

by M. Sinclair

  I sighed and put my elbow up on Stratton’s muscular shoulder, cradling my chin in my palm and attempting to look bored. “I’m not even entertaining that question. You, Yates, are not now nor ever will be privy to information about my sex life.”

  Or lack thereof.

  I wasn’t going to play this game with him. He knew well and good I wasn’t sleeping with anyone. Something that I would love to change any day here. I mean, I was eighteen, I was sort of over this crap right now. I had attractive men around me, around the clock, and yet I couldn’t find anyone to help me out? I was almost positive that they found me attractive, but that was about where my instincts stopped and ended.

  I mean, couldn’t it just be a hook up for the sake of a hook up? Hell, I may even take Yates at this point. Sure, with any of them it would mean a ton more to me than them since I was absolutely in love with them… but what’s the worst that could happen? They acted like it never happened? Broke my heart when I found them with someone else? Yeah, alright, that was fair. Plus, Yates was currently not on my ‘good’ list, so I wasn’t willing to extend my fantasy invitation to him.

  Not that he would take me up on it.

  “We’ll see about that,” he growled, causing my skin to prickle as I smirked. Or maybe he would. Alright, I admit it, I may find it somewhat entertaining to mess with the man. I wasn’t positive how Yates felt about me besides frustrated and oddly possessive, but I did know what happened when I tried to go out on actual dates.

  My butt in his Mercedes on the way back to Wildberry Lane. Every. Single. Time.

  Usually, my father was already waiting on the porch and just offered him a smile as I stormed into the house, complaining about his ridiculous, overbearing actions that contrasted his dismissive attitude. My dad found it funny, and the other boys seemed to as well, which was probably why I’d stopped going on dates.

  Also because it was a bit embarrassing. I mean, the man was a hot head, and so whenever he showed up at the restaurant, it usually went something along the lines of ‘get in the car, we are going home,’ followed by me telling him ‘no.’ Then my date would step in, and before long I was having to walk out of the restaurant trying to not laugh because Yates was so worked up. I mean, I couldn’t be all that upset, because half the time I went on those dates just to be nice. Plus, to torture Yates, I’d spend the entire car ride home pestering him on why it bothered him so much that I had been on a date.

  His answers were always entertaining and completely illogical.

  That wasn’t even a joke. One time he had looked me in the eye and said ‘because if you end up liking him, you’re going to do that weird happy humming thing and it will get stuck in my head.’ Like, what? The man was so odd.

  “What do you want, Yates?” I arched a brow, my other hand straying to Stratton’s hair as Yates’s gaze tracked the movement, his eyes narrowing slightly. I had to admit, in this lighting? He looked like some angelic model. No, models were way less muscular than he was. He just was very attractive, and his features were almost perfect. Like, it was very hard to find a flaw when it came to Yates’s physical appearance.

  Personality was a different side of the coin.

  “Is that Yates out there?!” my mother chimed. The bastard’s face broke into a charming smile that was at least part authentic, though part was to piss me off. My mom appeared on the porch, stepping out the door and looking absolutely effortless in her grace and beauty. I swear, if I grew up to be even an ounce of the woman she was, my life would be complete.

  “Mrs. Aldridge, it is so good to see you,” Yates, the polite bastard, greeted. “I was just telling Dahlia that my parents are extending an invitation for dinner tonight.”

  Damn him.

  “Oh, how wonderful!” Her eyes flashed to Stratton, who offered her a small, awkward smile. “Stratton! Sorry honey, didn’t see you there. How is your grandmother? I’m so glad the three of you are hanging out together, just like when you were little. I miss those times,” she said wistfully. “Dahlia, honey, you don’t have plans tonight, do you?”

  The boys blinked as I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, loving how hyper my mom could get. She was a complete extrovert, and she literally fed off being around other people. At parties, you could practically see her getting high off the energy of it.

  “She’s doing good today,” Stratton answered, unable to help his instinct to be polite despite the topic making him tense. I smoothed a hand through his hair, hoping that it would calm him. My mom didn’t comment on the action, if she noticed.

  “Be sure to tell her I said hi and let me know if she wants me to come over to help around the house. I’m always next door, and I know you kids are busy celebrating being done with school,” she called out happily before walking back inside, not waiting for an answer on my plans for the evening.

  She knew I didn’t have any.

  “What are you doing, Yates?” I scowled, trying to not smile at the frown that slipped onto his face. “I can’t eat with you sitting across from me.”

  “Too bad,” he chuckled, walking backward towards his car before calling out, “Just wait until you hear what my dad’s idea is tonight. You better get used to spending time with me, bunny.”

  What the hell did he mean by that?

  His car pulled away, revealing King and Dermot crossing the street, causing Stratton to stiffen slightly. I continued to run my hand through his hair and didn’t move, remembering his insecurity about King. I didn’t care what I had to do to bring Stratton back to us, I would make it happen. King offered Stratton a speculative look while Dermot moved his confused yet curious gaze from Yates’s car to my hand in Stratton’s hair. His green eyes flashed with something that had me nearly arching my brow, because call me crazy, but it almost looked… envious? Interesting.

  I needed to remember to introduce him to everyone—I’m sure he wanted to meet all his new neighbors.

  “King,” Stratton greeted, his voice filled with tension. “Good to see you made it back stateside.”

  “It’s nice to be back, fully.” King’s voice was filled with warning as his eyes flashed to the limited space between Stratton and I. Oh lord. Can we say overprotective?

  “Dermot!” I chirped, walking down the steps after squeezing Stratton’s shoulder. “It’s so good to see you again.”

  I was ignoring the staring contest behind me as Dermot looked at the two competitive men for a moment before seeming to shake himself of some thought and looking back down at me. And let me tell you, it was quite the distance. He had to have been 6’5’’, right? I mean, that seemed extreme, but the man was very large. I loved it.

  “You as well, lass,” he rumbled. King snapped his head towards his cousin, giving another look I didn’t fully understand. What the heck was going on with him today? I didn’t get the feeling King was even upset, not really. He just seemed… on edge? Like he was annoyed about something. Or with someone? Honestly, that could be completely incorrect. He just seemed a bit off.

  “Well, brother, I didn’t get an invitation to his little party, what about you?” Immediately, a smile broke onto my face as I turned towards Sterling’s voice, setting my gaze on my two other best friends.

  “Can’t say I did, brother,” Lincoln admitted softly.

  I was already in Sterling’s arms upon his twin’s answer, wrapping mine around his muscular waist as he dipped his head and lifted me up. A squeak and small laugh escaped my throat as I ran my fingers through his warm cinnamon-colored hair that contrasted his azure blue eyes, which were watching me with amusement and affection. I knew they had just gotten back from practice, because they both smelled freshly showered.

  Sterling’s strong jawline had a slight scruff on it, and the shirt he wore, despite being clean, had paint on it, his jeans and tennis shoes equally as worn and colorful. No matter how much money you had, an artist was an artist… and artists were sometimes messy as all get-out.

  “You and you,” I pointed
out to his fraternal twin, Lincoln, who wrapped a hand around my waist while smiling at me, “have an eternal standing invitation to hang out.” It was true, and Lincoln knew it. His white-blonde hair, almost sugar-like in coloring, had slight golden red undertones to it, but his eyes matched his brother’s almost exactly. Lincoln’s polo and brightly colored shorts, though, were a far cry from his brother, and while the first wore contacts, the second wore a pair of dark rimmed glasses that made him look like a blonde Clark Kent.

  This right here? This was my favorite look on them. I’d seen them dressed to the nines, but nothing was better than this.

  Wait, that’s a lie. When we had a movie night and they were in hoodies and athletic pants, that was equally as wonderful. I mean, I couldn’t count the amount of times I’d fallen asleep between them in their home movie theatre in the basement of their property. I’m just saying, there was totally an opportunity missed there.

  “Lincoln. Sterling.” Kingston offered an authentic smile as they did that weird guy hug. I wasn’t fully focused on anyone but the twins, though, at the moment, as per usual when I was with them or within a few feet of them, even. I felt a bit enamored by their presence.

  Despite their rugby practice schedule, we had seen one another almost every evening this summer. I mean, to be fair, it was an easy task, considering they lived just on the other side of Stratton.

  Speaking of which, my gaze snapped to the side as someone shifted in my peripheral. I frowned, watching as Stratton walked back towards his house, his hands tucked into his pockets as he seemed to think about something. I was sprinting across the yard as I hurried to reach him, grasping his forearm and pulling so that he would stop. He turned with a surprised arched brow as I kept my hold on him.

  “Where are you going?” I demanded, feeling hurt he would just walk away without a goodbye.

  “Didn’t want to interrupt the reunion,” he offered, looking exhausted despite his attempt to be sarcastic. “Figured it was a good time to dip out.”

  “Why? You don’t need to. You’re my friend, Stratton, and you know they consider you the same. Come hang out with us, you haven’t in forever,” I pointed out, making it very clear that I wanted him there.

  He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Maybe next time, angel face. Let me know if you want to hang out after dinner.”

  I let out a small, disappointed sigh as he walked away, my heart squeezing. I couldn’t help but appreciate how beautiful the man was, his muscular outline highlighted by the sky turning a pink and orange hue that had me wanting to take a picture of the moment. I was going to figure this out. Every time he pushed me away, it just reaffirmed the necessity of getting through to him and figuring out why he was acting like this.

  Turning, I found Dermot staring at me with an unreadable expression. Then again, I’d just met the man, so he could be feeling nothing and just staring at me. Somehow I didn’t think that was likely. The man seemed to vibrate with emotion.

  “So, Dermot.” I drew closer, walking past the twins and King talking, asking the man the first question that popped in my head. “How old are you?” Call me crazy, but this man did not look like he had just gotten out of high school. None of the guys really did… but more so him than even King.

  “Twenty,” he answered smoothly.

  “So are you here to work with King at the family business?” I asked curiously, hoping he wouldn’t leave before I could get to know him better.

  What? He seemed interesting!

  “Probably.” He nodded, seeming to gauge my response.

  “Well,” I offered a cheeky smile, “welcome, officially, to Wildberry Lane. Fair warning, my mother will probably be bringing over a welcome basket tomorrow. I promise you, she is super nice, but she will probably ask you about your entire life, so be prepared.”

  He chuckled, flashing a full smile, and the feeling that warmed my chest had me knowing that Dermot was going to be a problem. Luckily, my mom stepped out onto the porch right there and then, stopping me from staring at him and his perfect laugh like an idiot. Mom to the rescue.

  “Honey, we have dinner in an hour.”

  “That’s my cue,” I explained. “See you in a bit, boys. King, I am so glad you’re home.”

  “Don’t kill Yates tonight, princess.” His grin was sexy and dangerous.

  I didn’t answer but instead just smiled.

  Undetermined.

  Chapter Four

  Dermot Ross

  If I found myself in hell for all of eternity, I would be perfectly content. I’d already experienced heaven, and it was in the form of a radiant, green-eyed woman that had managed to fuck up my entire universe in a span of seconds. That shouldn’t have been possible. I’d spent my entire life completely unaffected by people, exactly how I had preferred it. Then I’d seen her.

  I wish I could tell you I was being dramatic, but I’d felt the air practically get bulldozed from my chest when I’d finally looked up to where my cousin had been. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn’t considered why he was calling me outside. I should have been more careful, because I’d fallen right into the trap, and when I’d first looked up, the only thing I’d been able to see was green.

  Possibly the greenest eyes I’d ever seen. Her glowing, tan complexion and bright, interested gaze had been overwhelming as I’d found a part of my chest beating that I hadn’t even been aware existed anymore. Not to say I didn’t have a heart… but I sure as fuck hadn’t used it in years. That was all before I even realized she was in my cousin’s arms, because frankly, it hadn’t mattered.

  The woman was a goddess among men, and I knew the longer I was around her, the worse this pull would get. I had never reacted so intensely to someone. It was unhealthy. It was sick. Dahlia Aldridge was absolutely dangerous, and not just to me. I didn’t trust how I would react in situations that included her.

  I no longer questioned why King acted how he did. His words from this summer had started to click together in a larger network of understanding. I’d thought his obsessive interest in the woman had been amusing at best, but now I understood that there was absolutely nothing fucking funny about it.

  This was unnatural. This was impossible. The emotion coursing through me was enough to bring me to my knees.

  My gaze followed her apple-red dress and lithe tan frame as she walked up the stone steps of her massive estate, a bright smile on her face as she offered a small twirl before disappearing through the front door. Walking seemed like such an average descriptor for how she moved. Floated? That seemed to work better. My fingers twitched as I fought the urge to go after her. Talk about fucking scaring her off.

  My eyes traveled up the stone steps of the impressive structure she lived in, the large stone columns and massive ferns creating a tropical, almost British Colonial shaded paradise that was not only alluring but encouraged one to explore. I felt like I was on the edge of discovering the rarest treasure, and I knew it was right within reach, just through that large archway that led into their house.

  Holy fuck, I needed to get out of here. This town. This country. This had been a horrible idea. A horrible idea that seemed like the pathway to the sweetest reward. I swallowed, trying to not think about how sweet she would taste, imagining her curvy little frame pressed up against me as I devoured those bright red lips. Her sugary scent surrounded me, making my cock pulse. I’d been uncomfortably hard since the moment I first saw her.

  My jaw clenched, wishing that this pull was just physical. That would have been easy enough. This was different, though… this pull was something else.

  I wanted to know everything about Dahlia.

  I ran a hand through my hair, trying to calm my pulse by taking deep breaths so I didn’t do anything drastic. The last thing I wanted to do was scare the woman off by acting like a fucking nut job. Although she should be scared, because I sure as hell was terrified. My thoughts were irrational. I’d never, in my entire life, felt such a tsuna
mi of lust as I did when first setting my gaze on Dahlia in my cousin’s arms.

  Bloody hell, this was so fucked up. I grunted, opening my eyes, realizing that closing them only made it worse. I couldn’t get her curious smile or the way she blushed out of my mind.

  Why the fuck did I find that attractive?

  I had absolutely never found that type of mannerism attractive. The women I had been with in the past had been the exact opposite of Dahlia in every single way. There hadn’t been any love lost between them or I, because there hadn’t been any strong emotions. Attraction, sure, but that was all I ever allowed myself to feel. No one had inspired anything differently, as it was. So why the fuck was this happening now? Was this my punishment for being such a cold, mean bastard?

  Probably.

  It didn’t take away from the fact that I loved how she blushed. Would she blush if I told her how I wanted to take her on the ground like an animal? Damn it. A woman like Dahlia deserved better than that, than me, but there was an uncontrollable urge to claim her that was buzzing through my chest and head. What did I do with these emotions? I’d never felt this out of control, this irrational.

  I didn’t even feel ashamed for practically running away from her upon our first meeting. I had been hit with so many emotions, and the fact that I knew exactly how Kingston felt about Dahlia didn’t help. She’d been a constant topic of conversation throughout the entire summer, and I found myself recalling every small detail my cousin had mentioned about her in passing. Nothing he said compared to seeing her in person, but I was finding it impressive—and slightly worrisome—just how observant Kingston was. Like, obsessively.

  I was damn positive there wasn’t anything he didn’t know about Dahlia, and I found myself jealous that he knew her so well. That he had such an important part in her life. This was going to be an issue. I was man enough to admit that I was not only overwhelmed, but suddenly in way over my head.

  “How has she been?” King demanded. His smile disappeared the minute that she was out of sight, the cousin I knew well falling back in place. The sudden change made me feel better. Made me feel like I could breathe again, because there was something normal about this situation, something that I could rely on.