by Aki_kaze
“In the city? Today we think we’re going to eat out.” She said something to Hector before coming back to the call. “Just wait there. We’ll pick you up. There’s this seaside restaurant, about an hour drive. Do you want me to bring you your meds too?”
“No. I’m still okay,” he replied.
“I’ll call you when I arrive.”
After the call ended, Keith sighed. He wanted to go home to show Sam the photos. But it seemed like that must wait. Until the Underwoods arrived, he still got plenty of time at the cemetery.
He read Sam’s headstone and was surprised by his date of death.
“Two days after my family accident? Oh, it was different year,” he muttered, “If there was no accident, would I still get to meet you? If you were still alive, would we still meet each other?”
Nobody could answer those questions.
“But if you were still alive, I wouldn’t get to move into your house, right?” he said, then let out a sigh.
Summer breeze swept through the grassland. Swaying tree branches and leaves rustling into an echoing whisper. A pigeon flew off into the afternoon sky. His eyes followed it. He then looked around the cemetery and found not a spirit in his sight. This was the place where the living came to visit and mourn for the dead. Ironically, the dead could never get to hear it.
Keith heard some noise and turned to find an old lady standing before another grave. He could catch only a glimpse of her expression, but he could tell it was a smile. As she was taking a leave, she turned to look his way and their eyes met.
“It’s rather rare to find a young soul here. Is it your family?” She asked.
“He’s… my friend,” he replied, his thought though was trying to figure what they were.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
Keith looked at the grave the lady just left. She noticed and said to him with a faint smile.
“He was my son. Alas, how come a child departed from this world ahead of his parents?” She let out a deep sigh. “Had it been me who left, would he have come to pay a visit?”
Keith suddenly felt a weight inside his chest. Were his parents asking the same question?
“Does it help?” he asked, his voice soft, “coming here, does it help make you feel better?”
She gave him a gentle look.
“Nothing in this world can ever relieve all the pain of loss. They say: time heals all things. But when I think he wasn’t here anymore, it hurts. Again.” She shook her head and placed her hand over her heart, patting softly. “But I visit him frequently because I miss him. Being here reminds me of our good, old time. It is as if he’s still here. Still… with me. And the idea comforts me. Isn’t that the same reason you come to visit your friend, young man?”
He didn’t reply. He looked at Sam’s headstone. Visiting the grave didn’t gave him any answer. Still, he wanted to come. Many things he dared not say before the other, he let them out here. Perhaps it was peace. Maybe that was why people visit their beloved one’s grave. Because they wanted to be at peace as well.
When he turned to the lady, she had already left. He watched as the feeble figure trudged away, out of the cemetery, out of sight.
“Am I your friend?” He asked, turning back to Sam’s grave, “I don’t know which is better, us being friends or…”
He stopped, searching for the word. None he found.
“Is it strange that, when something good happens to me, you’re the first one who comes to my mind? Well, I think of you first when something bad happens, too. It makes me feel better. I mean, it’s not like I never had a friend. But none of them ever made me think of them. This much. Is it weird? You must think so. Well, me too.”
Keith eyed the tombstone, as if it could give him any answer. He sighed before getting up. He placed his hand on the tombstone.
“Gosh. We live under the same roof. And here I am, talking to your grave. What a coward.”
He felt the curve of the tombstone, his mind rushing back to the other’s wavy blonde hair. What would he feel if he could thread his hand through it? He wondered; his longing gaze lingered on Sam’s name.
Keith held up the camera and took a shot of the gravestone, this time without the carnation bunch in the frame. How many people could get to see their own gravestone? Still, he didn’t really know the other’s response. Would he be happy? Would he be sad?
Perhaps, in the end, he would keep this picture to himself. As a memento.
Their conversation made long ago echoed in his head.
“Do you miss it… being alive?”
“I’ve never thought of it… until I met you.”
Many times, Sam’s replies raised many more questions. But Keith never dared to ask any of them. He was afraid of finding out the answer. What if it was not what he hoped it to be? What if it was just him getting ahead with his own fantasy? Therefore, he chose to keep all the embarrassment to himself, not asking anything.
“Just, friends…?”
His question faded away with the wind.
Chapter Seventeen
Sea in Memory
Diane called him when he was in a camera shop. He told the owner he’d come back for the photos later and left for the square. In less than five minutes, the car arrived. He got on the back seat, where Alice and John sat. The car then began to move again, heading out of the city.
“Did you enjoy your trip? Where did you visit?” Diane asked.
“I…went to the mall.” He didn’t tell her about the cemetery. Nobody knew the ex-house owner’s son was his friend.
“Did you take lots of photos?” It was Hector.
“Sort of,” he replied, “there was also a guy playing guitar at the square.”
“The one with mustache? Wearing a hat?” Hector promptly asked another question, to which the boy replied yes. “So, he goes there every day. He’s very good at singing. Anybody here wants to become a musician?”
The three in the back seat shook their heads in unison.
“May Alice see your photos?”
Keith hesitated. It was not that he didn’t want to share them, but he didn’t know what to say if he was asked about the gravestone photo.
“Well…”
“It’s okay.”
The girl wore an understanding smile, turning to look ahead. John was looking out of the window on his side. So, Keith decided he would do the same. Silence fell over the car. Hector turned on the radio to dispel it. The car moved onward, following the traffic light’s command.
Although Keith’s gaze was on the roadside, his mind drifted to the spirit in the house, who could not follow him here. He was thinking about the other’s solitude. How wonderful it would be if Sam could be with him right now, if he could talk to other people, like he was part of family? It wasn’t hard at all to call to mind the spirit’s smile and laughter. The boy pulled out his phone from the pocket. If he called home, would Sam pick up? He sighed, giving himself a sad smile at his silly idea and putting the device away. He missed the spirit’s smile. He missed the other calling his name. He wished he could get back home soon.
It took almost an hour for them to arrive at their destination. The three kids followed Diane into the restaurant as Hector dealt with the parking fee. The decoration inside was typical. A steering wheel of white and blue hung on the clear blue wall. A picture of three men holding a large fish. The counter and the floor made of wood. When they reached the other side of the restaurant, they were greeted with a beach and a vast sea view. John stomped down the last three stairsteps, rushing off to the dining table which was on the wooden deck over the beach.
“Can we sit here?” he asked; his voice sounded slightly demanding.
Diane’s expression revealed that that was not her preferable choice. She might want to avoid the onshore breeze. Still, seeing her son’s eagerness made her yield.
“Of course, dear.”
Alice followed her brother down the deck, no less excited. Keith grabbed the camera a
nd took photos of the scenery and the two siblings. He hadn’t noticed before that they were very much alike in their standing posture, yet obviously different in their physique. It was rare to see them chatter so joyfully and agree on something. Mostly, they would just argue. And for the first time, Keith felt like John really was Alice’s big brother.
He then directed his attention to the sea. He viewed the contrasting color of the sunset-reflecting water and the yellow sand beach through the camera. On his last family trip, they were going to the sea as well. But they didn’t reach it, nor had any chance to try again.
He inhaled deeply and quickly wiped his eyes before following the others to the table.
They were causing an uproar, the two siblings. When it came to food, the two would never surrender. Eventually, Diane allowed each of them a dish of their choice, offering them a temporary truce. Keith loved seafood, too, not less than he loved fast food. But he didn’t have a chance to eat it as much. General restaurants also served seafood, but the atmosphere and the food quality were never as good. He didn’t order anything special or exclusively for himself. He could eat what Diane and Hector ordered.
The arriving orders sent the two siblings into another uproar. Keith undertook his duty as the photographer and took some more pictures before starting his meal.
“Can we come here often?” John asked. It was not every day to see the boy expressing his enthusiasm so openly.
“I wish. But that means Hector has to work harder.”
The man laughed.
“Can Alice play by the sea after dinner? Just a beach walk is fine.” Alice quickly added the second sentence seeing Diane was about to object.
“Fine. But don’t get wet. I didn’t prepare a change of clothes for you.”
“Roger that.” She then turned to Keith. “You have to come with me.”
He nodded in agreement, bringing a broad smile to the girl’s face.
John went by himself. Alice and Keith walked together along the sea as Diane and Hector watched over them from the table. Cool waves rolled over his feet, sending a chilling, refreshing sensation throughout his body.
The boy turned to photograph the couple, then his cousin. She wore a bright, innocent smile, fitting of her age.
“This is my first time at the sea. John’s too.” She turned to look at her brother who walked the other way. She then turned to Keith. “What about you?”
“It was my third. But it’s my first time coming here.”
“Are you alright?”
Alice eyed him with worry. Keith was surprised. He quickly shook his head. The two continued their walk without saying anything.
Keith gazed up towards the evening sky. It was still as bright as in the midday. If he could turn back time, he would tell his parents he didn’t want to go anywhere, that he would like to spend his summer break at home. Had he done that, he wouldn’t have got them into the accident and ended up seeing spirits.
“Wait!” The boy exclaimed seeing a woman walking into the sea.
Alice was startled, clinging onto him tightly.
“What’s it?” She tried to hold him, not letting him go.
“Do you see that? That short haired woman over there?”
The girl looked to the direction her cousin pointed towards but found no one. She shook her head, gently stroking his arm to comfort him.
“You see them all the time?” Her voice was mixed with concern and sadness.
He hummed in affirmation, his eyes still on the female spirit.
“The one in our house. Did it hurt you?”
Keith looked at her. He didn’t understand what the other tried to say.
“No. Sam didn’t do anything.”
“Sam is his name? Who was he?”
Keith held up the camera and show the girl Sam’s gravestone photo. She stared at it, her mouth agape.
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly.
“Do you regret being able to see spirits?”
The question resounded in his mind. He didn’t want to see them. Not one good thing ever came from it. He was sent to the therapist because no one believed him. He was put in the hospital because they thought he wanted to commit suicide. They all concluded his action stemmed from the loss of family.
But that wasn’t right. Not entirely. He would exchange anything for him not to see ghosts anymore. But if he couldn’t see them, that meant he couldn’t see Sam as well. The spirit was the only one who never did him harm. Still, every time he thought of the spirit, it stung. An unsettling sensation in the chest he couldn’t quite place.
It hurt, always. But it hurt even worse when he thought he wouldn’t get to see the other’s face again.
“Kids. Let’s head home. We don’t want to get stuck in the traffic jam.” Diane called from the table.
“I’m coming.” Alice shouted back. She tugged on Keith’s sleeves pulling him towards the restaurant. The boy looked back at the sea and saw the woman body slowly sank under the water.
The ride back home was not different than that to the restaurant: it was quiet. Hector turned on the radio, selecting the news channel. John and Alice were now fast asleep. But Keith was still awake, deep in his mind. He reviewed all the photos he had taken today. He wanted to tell Sam about his everyday’s life. The other was still the only one he could talk to without feeling anxious. The simple thought of telling Sam about today excited him. He wanted to reach home as soon as possible.
When the sea picture came up, he stopped his hand and stared at the color contrast of the beach, the sea, and the sky.
When he was six, he used to go to another beach with his family. He wasn’t good at swimming and was so small that normal sea waves could knock him off his feet. His dad thereby needed to be with him all the time. When he saw other older children went to the deeper area, he insisted on going as well. He remembered his dad helped holding him up as they went further away from the shore. His own feet didn’t touch the ground. He laughed delightedly, feeling proud of himself, that he too could play in the deep. He tried to free himself from his dad’s grasp and accidentally choked on water. His dad’s face turned grave, but Keith still laughed wildly like nothing had happened. He yelled at his dad when he was dragged back to the shore. His mom wrapped his terribly trembling body with a towel. Despite that, he still complained he wanted to play more. He stayed mad at his dad for several hours. His dad bribed him with an ice cream, and with just that, he went back to his cheerful self.
He shook his head at his self-centeredness in the past. He still remembered he hugged his dad so tightly.
“Aunt Diane.”
“What’s it?” She turned her head to look at him.
“I’m going to visit Mom and Dad with you.”
He said with his eyes still fixing on the picture of the sea. And, so, he missed the expression his aunt wore. It was as if she would like to utter to him thank you.
Chapter Eighteen
Chilling Touch Which Makes Your Heart Skip a Beat
John was the first to get off the car. He stretched himself then took the key from Diane to unlock the house door. Alice closely trailed behind him. Keith could hear the two talking about the dinner. Keith was the last to get off. He massaged his shoulder and tilted his head as to do neck stretch. The camera was not that heavy, but it could put a lot of strain on the neck if carried for a long time. He was about to head to his bedroom to put it away.
