Keegan

by Savannah Rylan

  “Aw shucks! Why’d you have to go and do that?” one of the men said, but he didn’t actually sound remorseful.

  “Okay, let’s get out of here. Now!” another one commanded. And just as quickly as they’d come in, they left my father’s office.

  I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even say a word. I wanted to push open the doors and go to dad, but it was like I was frozen. My limbs refused to work. I felt like maybe if I didn’t step out, if I didn’t actually see daddy’s body on the floor—then it wouldn’t be real.

  I don’t know how long it was that I remained in the cupboard, till I heard the office door opening again.

  “Keegan!” I screamed his name. I could see him standing at the door.

  “Fallon, shit, Fallon!” he came running to the cupboard and helped me out, throwing his arms around me and holding me close to himself.

  I knew he could see my father’s body on the ground, and he purposely kept me turned away from it. I was crying on his shoulders, there was a lot of tears. I just wanted to stay there, like that, I didn’t want to move.

  Keegan stroked my hair, then he forced me to look up at him.

  “Fallon, you have to go. Now. You have to leave Chicago,” he said.

  3

  Keegan

  O’Leary was sitting on a plastic chair by the table that was assigned to us for the meeting. An old balding Irishman, his hair once used to be a bright red but whatever was left of it, was now white.

  “What are you doing here? Something happened with the parole hearing?” I asked.

  O’Leary smiled and shook his head.

  “Typical. Why are you always expecting bad news, son?” he asked. I shrugged. My hands were wedged between my legs, my wrists were pressed together by the handcuffs. I sat staring at O’Leary, waiting for him to spit it out.

  “What is it then?” I asked.

  O’Leary looked over his shoulders and then leaned in closer to me conspiratorially.

  “You don’t have to whisper, man. Nobody is listening in on our conversation, and even if they are; nothing goes out of this room.”

  I was certain of my standing in the prison. Nobody was going to mess with a Murphy man.

  O’Leary fixed his tie and nodded.

  “Okay, I have some information for you. Regarding the little side project you assigned me,” he finally said.

  Hearing those words made my muscles stiffen. He had all my attention. I was sitting up straight and staring at him.

  “The girl. Fallon Donovan, I got a hit on her,” he continued.

  The thing was that I wasn’t trying to find Fallon. In the past ten years since she left Chicago, I had made a decision never to go looking for her. She was better off away from here, away from all this—and that included me. I was sure that wherever she was, she was going to make it. The one thing I knew about Fallon was she was strong, and completely capable of handling herself. So, I wasn’t worried for her well-being.

  What I didn’t want, was for her to come back to Chicago.

  That was the little task I’d put O’Leary and his contacts to. They had their instructions. Keep an eye out for Fallon, and the moment she enters Chicago—report to me.

  “Where is she?” I growled at him now. She’d done the right thing all these years—by staying away. Why did she have to come back?

  “She’s rented an apartment, working at Billy’s Diner,” O’Leary supplied.

  I wanted to bang my fists on the table with anger and irritation. Not only was Fallon back in Chicago, she was living here?

  “And you’re telling me this now? She had all the time in the world to get a job and rent a place, right under your big hairy nose?” I raged at him.

  O’Leary looked nervous and apologetic and shook his head.

  “We were doing our best to keep an eye out. Don’t know how she slipped through the cracks, Keegan. Anyway, we have her now,” he replied.

  I sat back in my chair, glaring at him. I could see Fallon’s face in front of my eyes like it was yesterday, even though I was sure that was not what she looked like any longer.

  That night, when I found her hiding in the cupboard of her father’s office, her face was deathly pale and her blue eyes were wide with fear. I had never seen her look so afraid. The only thing that ran through my head then, was that I needed to protect her. I needed to keep her safe.

  While other fifteen year-olds were concentrating on school work and playing basketball; I had grown up in a world where I was learning to watch my back and make sure I didn’t get killed.

  Yes, I was fifteen. In most people’s eyes, I would have been only a child—but even then, I knew exactly what to do. And to this day, I knew I had made the right decision. Fallon needed to leave Chicago. That was the only way to keep her safe.

  Very soon, the cops were going to find her father’s body and they would discover that she was hiding in the cupboard. If the cops took Fallon in for questioning, the Gallaghers were going to kill her.

  There was no doubt in my mind who was behind the shooting. They’d come to the office looking for information on our family. And they’d shot Michael Donovan. They wouldn’t hesitate to kill Fallon if they found out that she saw them make the kill. She was a potential threat to the Gallaghers, which meant her life was in serious danger.

  Fallon had looked up at me with confusion in her eyes as I held her that night. There was no time to be wasted. She had to go.

  “No, Keegan…I can’t go. Let’s go to your dad. Take me home with you,” she said, with her lips quivering. I had to stay strong. I wouldn’t have wanted anything more than to take her home, to hide her in my room if I had to—but that wasn’t going to keep her safe for very long.

  “No, Fallon, you can’t come home with me. We can’t tell anyone what you saw. Not even my family, not even my father,” I told her.

  She was confused and scared and shaking, and I didn’t know how to console her anymore. She had to go. I had to stay strong and make sure she left the city. Even though it felt like I was ripping my own heart out of my chest.

  Fallon cried, and it was the first time I’d seen her crying. And then she told me she trusted me. I said I didn’t want to know where she was going to go. That would make it impossible for me to give her location away. And then she was gone.

  “You want us to go speak to the lass?” O’Leary’s voice broke through my thoughts. I stared at him, blinking. I’d forgotten he was here. I’d forgotten where I even was.

  “No. Just get me out of this place next week. I’m going to go speak to her myself,” I replied.

  4

  Fallon

  It was a week later, and nothing about my new life in Chicago had changed. I was still working double shifts at the diner, still trying to re-acquaint myself with the neighborhoods…and still searching everywhere to see if I could catch a glimpse of Keegan, or anyone from the Murphy family.

  I’d taken care not to rent in our old neighborhood. I didn’t know if I was prepared to get involved in that lifestyle again. If they did recognize me, that is.

  But I couldn’t help but hope that I might see Keegan somewhere. It had been ten years. I had no idea what his life looked like anymore. There was a high probability that he was married, maybe he even had kids. Chances were that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, if he did see and recognize me. Ten years was a long time to change people. Besides, we were just kids when we knew each other. None of those stolen glances or the teasing meant anything.

  The diner was slow now. It was late afternoon and the lunch rush had just ended. Most of our customers were slowly leaving, and it would give us the chance to catch a breather before the evening again. Amelia, one of the girls I worked with, was chatting away to me—telling me some story about some guy she’d met over the weekend. I hadn’t been working at this place for long, but already it felt like I knew everything about Amelia.

  She didn’t leave any detail out.

  When I finally got a chanc
e to get in a word edgeways, I told her to cover for me while I took a break. The diner was fairly empty now, so it didn’t matter.

  Untying my apron, I went out through the back kitchen doors and sat down on the bench at the end of the parking lot. It was a sunny enough spot.

  After all these years of living in Nashville, I was still getting accustomed to the lack of sun in Chicago. I slipped the juice-box out of the pocket of my skirt and pierced it with a straw. These days, I barely even had an appetite. I’d been surviving on juice boxes and crackers for days…when I remembered to eat at all.

  I sat there, thinking about Keegan again.

  When I returned to Chicago, I’d hoped I might see him…just a glimpse, just to know he was doing fine. But I hadn’t expected to be thinking about him constantly this way.

  He’d walked me to the bus station that night ten years ago. We’d held hands. I knew he was holding me because he wanted to console me, to make me feel better. But I couldn’t help but hope it was also because he wanted to remember the touch of my hand.

  He didn’t want to know where I was going, so I didn’t tell him. Secretly, I’d hoped that he would look for me soon. That in a few months, we would be reunited again.

  But Keegan never came looking for me.

  I took the bus to Nashville, where I knew my aunt Lisa lived with her family. When I showed up at their door the next afternoon, she was shocked. But I knew they wouldn’t turn me away.

  All I told them was that dad was dead. He’d suffered a sudden heart attack and died in the hospital. They knew I had nowhere else to go, that I had nobody besides them. I told them I’d already buried him…that his work colleagues had taken care of the burial. I was sure that aunt Lisa and her family didn’t buy that excuse. But they also knew better than to ask me many questions.

  It was an open secret who my father worked for. They had their suspicions, but they kept it to themselves. All these years that aunt Lisa and her family looked after me, gave me a roof over my head and made sure I had as normal a life as they could manage—I would be grateful to them for.

  But I had to leave. Nashville was never home. Chicago was where my heart was, where I’d left my old life behind. Over the years, I hoped and wished that some day, Keegan would find me but eventually I realized he didn’t want to.

  We led separate lives now and that was how he wanted it to stay.

  I sat on the bench, drinking my juice. It was aunt Lisa and her family I was thinking about. I called them a few times since my arrival in Chicago. I knew they were worried for me. But they couldn’t stop me from returning to Chicago, they knew I was going to go back some day.

  I was still lost in thought; when a muscle car pulled into the parking lot. It wasn’t until I heard the driver’s door bang shut, that I looked up—being snapped out of my thoughts.

  For a few moments, I just stared ahead…looking at the man who’d climbed out of the car. I blinked. The realization hit me like a jolt.

  Keegan. It was Keegan walking towards me now. I thought I was dreaming. It couldn’t be him. More than a month later, was it really him who’d appeared out of the blue?

  He looked quite the same, only taller and more muscular. His reddish brown hair was cut short, close to his skull. His eyes were as green as always. His face was angular and chiseled, like his wide shoulders and his muscular chest.

  The juice box dropped to the ground from my hand. I was stunned into silence. Ten years later, and seeing Keegan again had the same effect on me. I was speechless with my feelings for him. They’d gone nowhere. Only now, they weren’t just giddy teenage feelings, they were hot womanly emotions. I wanted him, from the first moment I saw him. I felt a tightness in my belly that I couldn’t describe.

  5

  Keegan

  The first thing I did when I got out of prison, was get in my car and drive to Billy’s Diner. The place O’Leary said Fallon worked. I hoped I’d see her there, that she’d be on her shift.

  After I’d parked my car in the lot, I got out and walked towards the diner. She was on my mind. I was feeling jittery with anxiety. I wanted to see her, as much as I wished she hadn’t come back.

  As I walked towards the doors of the diner, I didn’t even notice the girl sitting on the bench at the side. She was looking straight at me, while my mind remained occupied.

  It was only when she made a movement, to tuck some of her stray curls behind her ears—that my eyes adjusted to her presence. I stopped in my tracks, literally. I was too in shock to say anything or move. She was sitting on that bench just a few feet away from me. I thought I was going to explode.

  It was Fallon. She was in the diner uniform, and she looked absolutely delicious in it. The truth was, that I would have recognized her anywhere. Her face looked the same, but she was taller now, just by a few inches. And she’d filled out. The Fallon I remembered, was a teenager and the person sitting in front of me was a woman.

  Her hair was still the same length. Long and full of delicate waves and curls. She’d tied it up in a loose braid today and it lay plump on her left shoulder. Fallon didn’t need makeup. Her cheeks were a bright pink, to match her bulbous kissable pink lips. Her blue eyes were wide in surprise and she was staring at me like she’d seen a ghost.

  I’d stopped in my tracks and said nothing, and neither had she.

  My gaze travelled from her face, down to her full breasts underneath the flimsy uniform shirt she was wearing. Her long pale smooth legs under that short skirt…she’d developed curves. In all the right places. Even though she was sitting down, and I hadn’t seen her in full; I knew she had the kind of body that made my mouth water.

  Fallon Donovan was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever set my eyes on.

  “Keegan…” she whispered my name, low enough for me to nearly miss hearing her voice.

  “Fallon!” I exclaimed. She stood up from the bench with a jerk, her hands clasped together in nervousness. I wondered if she was going through the same thing I was—an utter helplessness.

  I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her. I wanted to tell her exactly how much I’d missed her. That I thought of her every night.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, breaking the cold silence between us.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I replied.

  “I work here,” she said. I could see that Fallon was struggling to meet my eyes. Her cheeks were ruddy and flushed. She was standing in a nervous stance…was she afraid of me? Was she upset to see me? I didn’t know what she wanted.

  “You know what I mean, Fallon. What are you doing in Chicago?” I asked, stepping closer to her.

  She kept her chin up, trying to look up at me with a strong gaze.

  “Thank you for the warm welcome, Keegan. It’s great seeing you again too,” she said.

  I watched her for a few moments, breathing heavily as I drank her in. Nothing about my feelings for Fallon had changed. She was still the only girl who could make me weak in the knees like this. I wanted to pin her to the wall and ravage her body—what I’d always wanted to do.

  “It’s good seeing you again as well, Fallon. I hoped that I wouldn’t have to say it to prove it to you,” I said.

  She rolled her eyes, smirking mockingly at me as she looked away from me now.

  “You didn’t write to me once, Keegan! You never came looking for me. You had no idea where I was. How do you think I was supposed to know you’d be glad to see me?” she snapped.

  I could see that her nostrils were flared now. She was glaring at me threateningly. I knew she had every right to be mad at me. Essentially, she wasn’t wrong in thinking that I’d totally abandoned her. But she had to have known I’d done it because I cared for her, right?

  “I couldn’t go looking for you, Fallon, because I wanted you to be safe,” I said.

  “Yeah, right, I was very safe. Too safe. I hope you’re happy,” she snapped again.

  “Yes, I was happy. I was relieved that you were.
But now you’re here,” I continued. She looked at me again, our eyes met and she looked like she was in a daze.

  “And now I’m here…”

  “Why? Why did you come back, Fallon?” I asked, stepping closer to her. She gulped, but held my gaze. She looked determined not to blink or look away.

  “Because it’s been ten years. It’s been too long and I thought it would be safe. Because this is my home and I have every right to be here!”

  Fallon’s voice was high-pitched and firm. I could see that she’d made up her mind. She was determined to stand her ground on her decision.

  “Fallon…” I tried to protest, looking over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching us. It made me furious to know that she had gone one month here in Chicago without any protection.

  “Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do, Keegan. I’m not a fifteen year old kid anymore. I can take care of myself. My father…” she dropped her voice now. “My father died here. He was my family, the man who was supposed to look after me. I watched him die!”

  Her eyes were widened and angry. I stared back at her, letting her vent if that was what she needed.

  “And I needed to come back here, to feel close to him. Don’t tell me I can’t be here. I don’t even know why I ran away!”

  She whipped away from me, running a hand exhaustedly through her curls. I watched her delicate tender frame. The way her hips curved and how tight and big her butt looked in that mini-skirt.

  “Besides,” she continued, throwing me a look over her shoulder. “I don’t go by Donovan anymore. I took my aunt’s surname…I go by Fallon Moran now,” she added.

  I took in a deep breath, squaring my shoulder.