by Sabre Rose
“Are you her?”
I nod.
“What happened to you?” she asks. More people crowd around us, lifting their phones, all wanting to get evidence of the drama.
Lifting my chin, I swallow my fear and look directly at her. “My name is Mia Cooper and I was kidnapped, held captive and beaten by Sebastian Atterton Junior, whose father has two other women locked in his house. They have been there for years. Today,” I swallow again, attempting to push back the tears, “I escaped.”
epilogue
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
MIA
I wait, anxiously scanning the road for any sign of the bus. I pick at a thread of my sweater, wishing I had chosen something a little cooler to wear. The sun is high in the sky and beats down on us mercilessly. My jeans feel like a second skin stuck to my legs. Strands of my hair have fallen from my ponytail and stick like glue to the side of my face.
“Come sit.” My mother pats the wood-panelled seat. “It’s still hot but at least you’ll be under shade.”
I glance at her sitting in the bus shelter, shake my head and offer her a quick smile before turning my eyes back to the road.
She sighs. “You’ll get burnt.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say.
I can’t sit down. I can’t relax. After six months, Ryker is finally free. He wouldn’t let me visit him in jail. Lily—I found out that it is her real name, the reason Senior named all his girls after flowers—was the only one he agreed to see. I guess he wanted answers.
I start to pace back and forth in front of the bus stop. My mother sits patiently, hands folded neatly in her lap and Lily stares into the distance blankly.
“Argh,” Everly moans, sinking down in the seat as though she is melting. “You said he’d be here by now.”
“I lied. I just wanted to get here early.”
Everly groans louder and flops to sit on the ground. “It’s so hot!”
“You’ll get all dirty.” Lily tries to pull her back up.
“I know.” She crosses her arms and glares at her mother.
It’s been a long six months without him. As soon as the police arrived at the hospital, he was taken away for questioning and then detained. He wasn’t there when Everly got out of surgery. He wasn’t there to watch the raid of the Atterton mansion, or to watch Sebastian, both Senior and Junior, Cameron and others being led away in handcuffs on the news. Somehow Katriane managed to escape the public’s eye. He wasn’t there to see the tears of relief on Lily’s face, or the way Daisy ran into the arms of her waiting parents who had flown in as soon as they got word.
I watched it all from a hospital bed beside Everly, my mother and my father at my side, and Roxy pleading for forgiveness and crying at the foot of my bed.
I didn’t tell them everything. I couldn’t. They had to deal with the pain of me being gone, the pain of the unknown, they didn’t need the terror of the truth.
For the first few days, it was hard for me to sleep. They kept a heart-rate monitor on me, and each time I managed to drift off, the rapid beating of my heart as nightmares flooded my mind would wake me. I was grateful it was never fully dark in that room. I was grateful for the beep of the machines, the squeak of the nurses’ shoes, their laughter and their chatter as they went about their duties on the nightshift. Because all those sounds reminded me where I was.
They reminded me I was safe.
My mother slept in the chair beside my bed. She refused to leave, even when they stationed a police officer at the door. Everly, Lily and I were all protected. We were to be witnesses in the trial.
As the investigation continued, the pile of suspected girls Mr Atterton had stolen and sold grew until it was in the hundreds. But many of the girls were never found. Iris was never found. Star was never found. There were no records as he had enough time to destroy them. But thankfully, because of my confession, because of all the cameras pointed in my direction and the story I told, and because of Ryker’s honesty, the Attertons did not escape. Their wealth and their privilege couldn’t protect them this time.
Once I left the hospital and returned home, I was inundated with offers to tell my story, many promising large sums of money if I would talk to them exclusively. I refused them all. I relived the horror time and time again while talking to the police and I would relive it again during the trial in cruel detail. I would do it to ensure Senior and Junior were locked away, I wouldn’t do it to relieve people’s curiosity.
At first, Everly and Lily came to live with us. Everly had been sullen and angry. Her whole life had been torn to shreds. She had always lived with the uncertainty of who she was, but the truth was harder to bear. She didn’t know who she was anymore. She lashed out at her mother, who was desperate to make up for time lost, but all Everly could see was a woman who deserted her while living in the very same house. Lily stood by and took her abuse. She smiled when Everly yelled at her and she shed silent tears when it all got too much.
Now they have their own house. Everly attends the local high-school, much to her dismay, and my parents gave Lily a job at the bakery. I think at first, my mother was jealous of the bond that Lily and I shared. There was a whole part of my life that she was never a part of, but Lily was. She understood the waves of panic from an unwanted smile. She understood the terror of someone accidently gripping her hand too tightly. My mother doesn’t understand those things and I hope she never will.
The first time the four of us went out for coffee was a triumph. Lily cried, but she cried for joy. It was such a simple thing, but it was something she had given up hope of ever experiencing again. And besides, she needed to replace her reliance on wine with something. Caffeine was her choice.
Helping Lily adjust to normal life helped me heal. I had someone else to think about. Someone whose terror was worse than mine. Someone I could help.
In the distance, I see a cloud of dust as the bus turns, cutting across the gravel as it turns onto the road. I stop pacing and lift to my tiptoes as though somehow it will allow me to see him.
Ryker fully cooperated with the police. He’s to be their star witness in the upcoming trial. But that didn’t stop him from going to prison. He had done too much, been involved in too many things to simply be set free. He told them everything, including the fact that he was the one to end Marcel’s life. They couldn’t leave that unpunished and gave him a minimal sentence. They had sent him north to do his time, far away from the reach of the Attertons. Not that they had much reach anymore. They were small in the criminal world and now they are worthless. They turned on many colleagues, given names, tried to shift the blame in order to receive leniency. According to the police it has created a lot of trouble for them in jail.
Ryker was put to trial quickly, pleaded guilty and sentenced. Now he was coming home. Now he was free.
The bus looms on the horizon until it slows and pulls to a stop on the side of the road, the door swinging open with a sigh. There’s hardly anyone in the seats. No faces peer out the window at us as Lily, Mum and Everly stand to wait beside me.
My heart starts beating rapidly. It’s a feeling I’m used to but this time it isn’t from fear. It’s from excitement wrapped in nervousness. I don’t know who Ryker and I are outside the prison we met in. This world, this life of normality is something we never imagined having. It’s all new territory. I dream of him often, but I have no idea if he dreams of me.
A shadow stretches over the ground, and then he appears. Everly runs to him, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly as tears of joy run down her face. His eyes meet mine as he lets go of his bag and lifts her off the ground, returning the intensity of her embrace.
And there they are. Those ocean-blue eyes.
He only looks at me for a brief moment, his expression unreadable, before he untangles himself from Everly and holds her at arm’s length.
“It would seem you missed me.” He laughs and roughs up her hair. But she doesn’t complain. She merely throws her
self at him again and holds on tight.
“You have no idea.” Her words are choked with tears. Ryker is the only familiarity she has left. Everything else has been taken from her.
Lily joins in their embrace, wiping a single tear away until both she and Everly are laughing through their tears.
“Wait until you see the house we have.” Everly picks up Ryker’s bag and swings it over her shoulder. It contains everything he owns. She lifted it with ease. “Mum’s working at the bakery. I’ve started at the high-school and it is horrible. Horrible. You should see the uniforms we have to wear. Why wouldn’t you let me come see you? Why did you…” Everly prattles on and on as Ryker moves away from her, promising to answer all her questions and listen to all her stories later.
He comes to stand before me and we stare at each other. His hair is longer, the ends curling into waves. His beard is clipped and tidy. The lines across his forehead are shallow, as though somehow he’s become younger. A hesitant smile plays on his lips. He looks downwards at the ground, taking a step closer, then looks up again and I get lost in those eyes. I want to throw my arms around him like Everly did. I want to press my lips to his and taste him. I want him to pick me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist and thread my fingers to his hair, so I can stare into those eyes and get lost in the waves.
Instead, I just say, “Hi.”
He takes a deep breath and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. Involuntarily, my eyes get stuck on the movement and I wonder if he can see the longing in my eyes.
“Hi,” he says, reaching out to brush his fingers against mine. They catch and play with the tips, almost as though he’s too scared to take my hand. Maybe he’s just as nervous as I am.
“How have you been?” he asks.
It’s only then that I become aware of Lily, Everly and my mother watching the exchange. I take a step back, breaking the feather-like connection of our fingers, and turn to my mother.
“Mum, this is Ryker.”
My mother knows who he is. She knows his role in my captivity, she knows his role in my escape. What she doesn’t know is the way I feel about him. The way my body responds, the beating of my heart, the thoughts racing through my mind, just by having him stand so close to me. But I think she suspects.
Plastering a smile over her face to hide her hesitation, she holds out her hand. “Ryker,” she repeats. “I look forward to getting to know you.”
Ryker shakes his head, tilting his head toward me in question. “It’s a pleasure to meet you…?”
“Abigail,” she says. “You may call me Abigail.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Abigail. Lily has told me of everything you’ve done for her and Everly. I’m forever grateful to you for helping my family. It means a lot.”
“We were happy to help.” Mum wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Mia told us—” She stops and clears her throat. “Mia insisted we help, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Ryker’s eyes flick to mine and he nods. My heart misses a beat.
Everly swings Ryker’s bag at her side. “Shall we get going? I’m dying in this sun.”
“I think dying is a little bit of an overstatement, don’t you?” Lily says.
Everly merely rolls her eyes and loops her arm through Ryker’s, tugging him toward the car. I watch from behind, noting that somehow he seems even more cut since coming out of prison. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and his shoes are caked in dust. As he slides into the backseat beside Everly, I notice he kicks them off.
The drive into town is filled with Everly’s chatter and Ryker’s short replies. She hounds him about everything to do with prison from how he exercised to what he ate. Mum keeps looking over at me. I avoid her gaze so she just pats my knee, then returns her hand to the steering wheel.
“You okay?”
I nod, but I don’t say anything. It’s almost as though the heat of Ryker’s body radiates through the air to reach me. Almost as though I can feel his gaze on me. Almost as though it’s too much.
Mum pulls up outside Lily’s house and cuts the engine. “Now you’re all coming over for dinner later, aren’t you?”
“Only if we aren’t intruding,” Lily says.
“Of course not. We love having you. The house has been so quiet since you left.”
“Well then, it would be our pleasure. We appreciate so much how welcoming you and Samuel have been.”
It’s like we’ve skipped back a few months to that awkward stage when Lily and Everly crept around my mother like strangers.
They climb out of the back seat and I get out of the car. I want to touch him. I need to pull him close and feel the solidity of him. But I stand off to the side, stiff and stilted, unsure of what to do.
“Come on,” Everly shouts to Ryker, already on the steps to the house with the key in the door. “I want to show you everything.”
“In a minute,” he calls back, chuckling to himself.
He steps over to me and looks into my eyes unflinchingly. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for them. I’ll never be able to repay you for your kindness. I—” He sighs heavily and takes another step forward, lowering his voice. “I’d really like to talk with you at some stage. Prison was…Prison—”
“Come on!” Everly yells impatiently, stamping her foot on the concrete step.
“Can we talk later? After dinner maybe?”
I nod and Ryker leans forward as though he’s going to hug me. I lean forward too, only to realise he’s picking up his bag. I laugh nervously, he chuckles, but we don’t embrace. We don’t touch at all.
“Later?”
I nod again. “Later.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
MIA
Dinner is filled with strained conversation interspersed with tense bouts of laughter. Dad keeps staring at Ryker as though trying to figure him out as Mum’s and Everly’s chatter floats into the air any time there is more than a few seconds of awkward laughter. Ryker is nothing but polite to me. Polite. We sit opposite each other at the table, quickly looking away each time we catch each other’s eye.
It isn’t until we’re all settled in the lounge that he suggests we go for a walk. Dad’s brows crease with concern, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. He’s said it all before.
“Why don’t we watch a movie while they’re away?” Mum suggests to Lily and Everly, who all seem overly enthusiastic at the idea.
Ryker holds open the door and we slip outside as they discuss the selection. Walking down the steps, we take a left, unintentionally walking toward his new home. Ryker doesn’t say much at the start, and neither do I. We look up occasionally, catch each other’s eye and smile, then fall back into step.
“How have you been?” Ryker asks finally.
“Good.” I take a few more steps. “You?”
He nods. “Yeah…” but he leaves the question unanswered. “Lily told me how much your family has done for her, helping her adjust back to normal life, giving her and Everly somewhere to live, giving her a job, helping her find the house. I appreciate it. You didn’t need to do all that. I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with us, considering.”
“Nonsense.” I laugh and it sounds fake in the stillness of the night because it is fake. This tension, this awkwardness between us has never existed before. We have never existed before. Not like this.
“I’ve been talking with Lily a lot,” he says. “My memories are starting to come back. She explained everything to me, explained how that dream would have been why I ran away, but it still doesn’t seem real, you know? It still feels like a dream rather than something I saw.”
Our hands brush by each other as we walk, but he doesn’t reach for me.
“Has it helped?”
He nods, his eyes meeting mine for just a moment. “At least it’s allowed a few things to fall into place. I can’t believe that Everly is Senior’s though.” A shudder runs over him. “I don’t like th
inking of her as having Atterton blood.”
It isn’t long before we reach his house. Dad helped them rent one not far away from us.
Ryker clears his throat awkwardly. “Do you want to come in?”
“Sure.” I sound so casual. I’m not. My heart is beating rapidly. My mind is scrambled. This is not how I imagined our reunion. In my dreams there was a lot more body contact. His hand didn’t swing by mine, it grabbed onto me, it threaded through my hair and pulled me close.
“Fuck,” Ryker laughs. “I don’t have a key.”
I walk up to the front step and lift the mat exposing the spare key.
“Good hiding place.” He rolls his eyes and opens the door. We walk down the hallway and into his room. It’s been painted since I was last here. A pale blue. Eggshell, Everly called it. It matches his eyes.
Ryker sits down on the edge of the bed. I sit beside him, so close I can feel the heat of him. He moves away a fraction.
“Look,” he says. “I know things are different now. I know that what we had was only because of our situation. You’re free now, I get that. I don’t want you to think I have any expectations of you.”
I frown, feeling hurt by his words. “What do you mean?”
Taking a deep breath, he takes my hand in his. The warmth of him burns up my arm and seeps into my heart.
“Prison opened my eyes. It made me look back and think about everything that’s gone on. You’re free now, Mia. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. One without me. One with a man who loves you, one who hasn’t put you in chains. One who hasn’t hurt you and…” He toys with my fingers, his eyes stuck on them instead of mine. “Being inside made me realise just how dehumanizing it is to be kept like that. There is no way I could ever ask you to forgive me for what I’ve done, for who I am. You should be with someone nice. Someone who hasn’t done to you the things that I have.”
“I know,” I say and untangle my fingers from his.
