“I wanted to stop by and pick up a book on azaleas and check to see if we were on for tonight,” she said as she smoothed her unwrinkled skirt with her palms.
It was a nervous gesture I’d always found endearing.
“I have to see what Jake’s plans are, but I’ll let you know, all right?”
I didn’t want to rush her along, but we’d been seeing each other for two years, and she knew I didn’t like her stopping by unannounced at the store. I worked very hard to keep that part of my life separate from my life with Jake and Kelly, and always found myself frustrated when Maddy went against my wishes.
Sometimes I thought it was a play on her part, trying to force my hand and introduce her as a part of my life, but then I realized that Madeline would never be that underhanded. It wouldn’t be dignified.
And if Madeline was anything, she was dignified.
“Of course,” she said smoothly. “I’ll just go find that book.”
“Let me help you,” I offered, hoping to take some of the sting out of my obvious disapproval of her presence.
Maybe it was time for me to let Kelly go and give Madeline more than just the occasional night together. It had taken me years to get to the point where I could imagine being with another woman but, eventually, loneliness won out and I’d met Madeline.
Still, my heart wrenched at the thought of moving on, even if there was little to no hope of Kelly waking up, so I pushed it to the side and gave her a false smile.
We walked back to the gardening shelf, making small talk, just as I would with any other patron, when my phone rang. Normally, I wouldn’t answer the phone when I was helping someone, but I found myself eager for the distraction.
I looked at the time when I saw it was Jake and realized he should be in class. He never called me from school.
“I have to take this, it’s Jake,” I told Madeline apologetically, not waiting for her response before answering. “Hey, son, is everything all right?”
“Mom’s awake,” he said, his voice sounding strange and distant as he uttered the two words I’d lost hope of ever hearing.
My body swayed with shock and I clutched the phone tightly to my ear.
“When?” I barely got the word out; my throat felt like it was closing in.
“Grandma just called, I’m on my way to the hospital now,” my teenaged son answered.
“I’ll meet you there,” I said, immediately hanging up and rushing toward the exit.
“Sean,” Madeline called loudly from behind me. “What is it? Is Jake okay?”
I turned and said, “Kelly’s awake,” too caught up in the myriad of emotions running through me to notice the utter devastation on her face.
I had to get to my wife.
Three
Kelly
I heard the voices around me speaking frantically, but I paid no attention to what they were saying.
I expected to feel pain from the explosion. The last thing I remembered was hurtling toward concrete, and I was sure I’d hit my head pretty hard.
But I didn’t feel any pain … Maybe they have me on painkillers.
I knew I was in a hospital. I could feel the bed beneath me, sense the bright light threatening me on the other side of my eyelids, and could hear the telltale beeping of machines. I remembered that beeping from when I’d given birth to Jake.
Jake … I hoped he was okay. I’m sure he’d been terrified to witness me flying across the road. Thank God I’m okay. I’d hate to think how traumatized he’d be if I’d died.
I wondered how long it had taken for the police and ambulance to arrive. I hoped the kids weren’t left alone for too long.
I wondered if the man was okay. Maybe he was in the hospital with me somewhere and I could check on him.
My mother’s voice sounded from nearby, which was surprising. She lived a three-hour flight away…
How long have I been in here? I wondered, then decided it was time to brave the bright light and get some answers.
My eyelids fluttered opened and pain seared my eyes, causing me to shut them quickly.
“Sorry, Kelly, we’re dimming the lights,” someone said from my left.
I could see the room get darker, so I ventured to open my eyes again. It still hurt, but not the same brain-searing pain as before. I gave my eyes time to adjust, then began to look around.
A gray-haired woman walked to my bedside and leaned down with tears in her eyes.
“Oh, baby,” she whispered, and it took me a second before I realized that my mother’s voice was coming from this woman.
Confused, I looked around the room, wondering if I’d been mistaken and my mother was elsewhere in the room, when the door opened and Sean came rushing in.
Before I could say a word, he rushed to my bed and gathered me in his arms like I was made of porcelain. When I felt his shoulders shaking, I was shocked. I’d never, in twelve years of marriage, seen Sean cry.
“Shhhh,” I consoled. “I’m okay.” For some reason, my assurance just made him cry harder. I looked up to see the gray-haired woman and another woman in scrubs, who I assumed was a nurse, watching us with tears rolling down their faces.
What on earth is going on?
I held Sean until the sobbing stopped, running my hand over his hair.
It seemed longer than it had yesterday, and when I looked down I realized it looked salt and pepper, rather than its normal jet-black.
Did he dye it and never tell me?
Sean pulled back, wiping his eyes as embarrassment crossed his face, then his brilliant blue gaze searched my face as if he hadn’t seen it in ages.
“Kelly,” he choked out my name as if it hurt him to say it. “Can you talk?”
“Of course,” I said, then looked at him with confusion when it came out sounding hoarse, and my throat hurt from the effort. I brought my hand up to cradle my neck, and if felt like my arm weighed a ton of bricks.
I was weaker than I’d expected to be, but I guess being blown up took a toll on your body.
Startled by the thought, I wiggled my toes to make sure there weren’t any other damages I hadn’t felt yet, then sighed with relief when I realized I still had full use of my legs.
Sean was running his fingertip over my bottom lip, tears spilling from his eyes again, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he was so upset. I needed some answers, so I looked to the nurse and asked, “Doctor?”
But I guess it was more like I mouthed it, since no sound really came out. She must have gathered my meaning though, because she rushed out of the room.
“Sean, you’re going to suffocate her,” the gray-haired woman said, now not only having my mother’s voice, but speaking to Sean in the same condescending tone that my mother always used when speaking to my husband.
I narrowed my eyes and was about to ask who she was, when the door opened and a young man walked in. He was tall with jet-black hair and green eyes. His hair was a little on the longish side, but it didn’t look bad on him, and he had the kind of face that you knew would be strikingly handsome when he got older.
He looked alarmingly like Sean had when we met, other than the eyes, and I wondered if he was some distant relation that I didn’t know about … Although I was pretty sure I’d met every single one of Sean’s relatives over the years.
Sean stood up at the young man’s entrance and held out his arm. My curiosity grew when the boy went into his arms and Sean embraced him.
I watched the scene, waiting to see what would happen next.
My heart was struck with terror and my world turned upside down when Sean said, “Jake, give your mother a hug,” and the young man began to walk my way.
That’s when I started screaming…
Four
Jacob
Out of all the scenarios I’d imagined in my head any time I’d dreamt of my mother waking up, not ever had I imagined her screaming at the sight of me.
Tears of joy…
Lots of hugs
and kisses…
Her holding me as I told her how much I’d missed her…
Any of those would have made the moment perfect; instead, I’d stopped, frozen in horror as I watched at my mother’s terrified face as she screamed. Her hair was long, limp, and unkempt, her skin was sickly pale, and the circles under her eyes seemed to be taking over her entire face, but at least she finally looked alive.
Even as my heart shattered in my chest at her reaction to me, I felt relief that her eyes were sharp and she was animated.
“Kelly.” My dad was rubbing her arm, trying to get her to calm down, but it was no use, she was inconsolable.
The doctor came rushing in, pushing me aside as he called out to my mother, “Mrs. Talbot … Mrs. Talbot,” he consulted his chart and tried, “Kelly, you must calm down. I don’t want to sedate you so soon after coming out of a coma…”
At his words, my mother stopped, the horror still evident on her features as she grasped the last word he’d said, “Coma?” she croaked.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Talbot, I wish I’d been here when you woke up … at the very least I should have reminded your husband that you needed to be eased into the present gently.”
She choked on a sob, her eyes on me as she asked, “How long?”
“Five years,” the doctor said, effectively ripping off the Band-Aid.
Her breath caught and her gaze on me turned from fear to a pain so vibrant that I had to turn away from it. Suddenly everything was too much for me to bear, and I had the overwhelming need to escape.
“I gotta go,” I said to my dad, not waiting for a response before rushing out the door.
I understood her confusion, I even understood why she’d been afraid when Dad said my name, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. That didn’t make me feel any less like a monster. She was looking for her twelve-year-old, baseball-playing son, and that’s not who I was anymore. I was bound to be a disappointment to her, just like I was to my dad.
Consumed by my own self-loathing, I swung my Jeep toward Ally’s house. I shot her a text, asking her to meet me outside, and let out a relieved gust of breath when I saw her standing on the curb, her long hair blowing in the wind.
Just seeing her there helped to ease my soul.
Ally hopped in and we sped off toward my place. I had a feeling my dad would be at the hospital for a while, so we’d have the privacy I needed right now.
“Was she really awake?” Alison asked, turning her hopeful face toward me.
“Can we talk about it later?” I asked, sensing her confusion at my answer, but not able to talk about it now. Not in my car.
Ally didn’t respond, she knew it was best to let me be when I needed time to process things. That was just one of the many reasons why she was the perfect girl for me. She wasn’t one of those brainless harpies that got all wound up when you didn’t place them up on a pedestal and give them one-hundred-and-fifty percent of your attention at all times. She was like me. An old soul. Someone who took the time to think about things and process them.
She was the other side of my coin.
We parked in my driveway and walked silently into the house, her presence making me calmer with each step. When we got in my room, I shut the door and went to my closet. When I came out, I was licking the end of a joint and twisting it, as Ally sat watching me from the bed.
I sat next to her, scooting so my back was against the wall, then held out my arm, inviting her to snuggle in. I lit the joint as she got comfortable and inhaled deeply, holding it in for a few seconds before blowing out the aromatic smoke. I repeated this a few times, then offered the blunt to Ally.
I closed my eyes as she smoked, allowing the tension to leave my body, embracing the calm.
Once we’d had our fill, I pinched off the hots and placed the roach in a small box that I kept in the space in between my mattress and bed frame.
“What happened, babe?” Alison asked, intuitively guessing that I was ready to talk.
“She freaked when she saw me,” I replied miserably. “I walked in, stoked to see her awake in that damn hospital bed … I didn’t even think about the fact that the doctors told us years ago that she’d wake up as if she’d fallen asleep after the accident. It didn’t occur to me that she’d be expecting to see me as a kid, and would lose her mind when she saw who I am now … I went to hug her, but when my dad said my name, and she realized who I was, she started screaming. I mean, it was like a horror movie scream … She was terrified … of me. My own mother…”
Ally sat up and took my cheeks in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Jake,” she said sweetly, touching her soft lips gently to mine. “I’m sorry she did that. You know I’m always here for you.”
I leaned my forehead against hers and said, “I know … I came to you right away. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out, baby,” Alison said, and I watched with tired eyes as she lifted her shirt over her head.
I reached for her, eager to lose myself in her and forget about the last few hours.
Ally was the only person I could count on. I knew she’d make it all better.
Five
Sean
The last few weeks had been a blur of tests, physical therapy, and answering questions. It was emotionally exhausting, yet absolutely amazing.
Kelly was back.
My wife was back.
She was confused, weak, and sad about the large lapse of time, but she was awake.
“Sean, why don’t you go on down to the gift shop and grab a book or magazine for Kelly? I’m sure she’d like something to pass the time. I need to speak with her for a few moments,” Dr. Smythe said, and I wanted to growl at him.
I hadn’t left Kelly’s side since the moment I’d arrived to find her awake, and I had no desire to do so.
“Please, Sean,” Kelly asked softly, and although I wanted to stay, I needed to respect her wishes.
She’d been through a tremendous amount ever since she’d woken.
Finding out you’ve lost five years of your life would be a horrible blow for anyone, and I could hardly imagine how hard this must be for her. In her mind, no time at all had passed since that day on the side of the road, so of course it was hard for her to come to terms with how much things had changed while she was asleep.
Jake being the biggest blow. He hadn’t been back since she woke up.
They’d been so close, Kelly and Jake. She’d taken him to every baseball practice, attended every event at his school, and had been his movie buddy.
After her reaction to him, Jake had run from the room completely freaked and understandably upset. I’d texted him, of course, to make sure he was okay and to tell him I’d be staying at the hospital, but he and Kelly had had no further communication.
I picked out a couple of books by authors Kelly liked, all of which had been released while she was in her coma, then grabbed a package of peanut M & M’s. Kelly had always had a weakness for them.
I was walking out when I heard someone call, “Sean.”
At first, I thought it was Maddy, who I hadn’t spoken to since I got the call about my wife. She hadn’t contacted me, although I hadn’t really expected her to. It wasn’t her style to impose, and she knew how much Kelly’s waking would mean to me. But I hadn’t contacted her either and I felt a little guilty about that.
Still, she had no business coming to the hospital, so I turned my head, ready to ask her to leave, when I saw it wasn’t Maddy, but Karen. Kelly’s best friend.
My heart stuttered when I saw her standing there, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a paperback that matched one of the books in my stack in the other.
Karen and I had always tolerated each other for Kelly’s sake, but had never gotten along all that well. We’d developed a routine over the years to avoid spending time together, with Karen coming to visit Kelly the first Friday of every month, and me making myself scarce during their time.
The last
time we’d seen each other had been after she’d found out about me and Madeline, and she’d come to the store to confront me.
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me,” Karen said as she stalked toward me, her tone scathing.
“I’m sorry, things have been so crazy. I honestly didn’t think about it,” I admitted, biting back a sigh.
“Yeah, I’m sure that was the reason,” Karen retorted sarcastically. “Thankfully, Mrs. Carter contacted me to let me know Kelly was awake. I’m going to see her now.”
I wasn’t surprised Kelly’s mom had called Karen. She knew we didn’t get along, and she’d always loved to do anything possible to make my life uncomfortable.
“I know she’ll be happy to see you. She’s having a rough time adjusting,” I told her as we walked down the hall to the elevator.
“I bet,” Karen replied, her tone softening. Then she stopped walking and turned slightly toward me. “Have you told her?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. My heart beat painfully in my chest, like it did every time I imaged telling Kelly about Maddy.
“No, not yet. I couldn’t. Not after her reaction to losing five years, and her terror over seeing Jake. I couldn’t add anything else to her plate,” I said, looking pleadingly at Karen. Begging her to understand. “I will, of course I will, I just need a little more time.”
“I’m sorry that Kelly’s having a hard time, it must be a nightmare to realize you’ve lost five years of your life, but … she deserves to know, and the longer you keep it from her, the worse it’s going to be when she finds out,” Karen said, and although I knew she was right, I still felt it was too soon. “I’ll give you three days. If you don’t tell her by then, I’ll tell her myself. She has a right to know.”
Before I could argue, Karen spun on her heel and went to the elevator. She pressed the button, got on, and watched me as the door closed.
Unwoven Ties Page 2
