“Not now, Sean,” she said, her voice containing a bite, which was wholly unlike her. “I can’t do this now.”
I stood there for a moment, helpless, unsure what to do.
“You know what? I’m tired. Can you go please so I can get some rest?”
My heart hit the ground at her words.
“Okay, Kelly, take all the time you need. I’ll check in on you later,” I said, turning reluctantly to give her the space she needed.
I hated this. Hated feeling like I was unwelcome in my wife’s room, but I could understand where she was coming from. And even though it hurt now, I had hope that she’d forgive me eventually.
Really, there was no other option, because I couldn’t live without her. Not now that I got her back.
Twelve
Kelly
I clung to my anger and hurt and pushed it into my physical therapy sessions. I was determined to get out of the hospital and back to my life, before Madeline stole it out from under me.
Jake came by a couple more times, but not nearly as much as I’d have liked, and he never stayed long.
He was always on his way to work, or a gig, or to hang out with his girlfriend. Ugh, girlfriend. It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my sweet little boy was in a relationship with a young woman.
Especially that young woman. I didn’t see the appeal. Jake deserved a sweet girl, not a sullen one who could barely say a word.
I probably wasn’t being fair, but Ally had not been the kind of girl I’d imagined for my son.
Sean still came by every day, and we’d talk about superficial things, like my health and the bookstore, but we’d avoided the topic of his affair since the day I’d told him to get out.
I couldn’t deal with it. There was just too much … too many changes, too much gone from the life I knew.
I hoped that leaving the hospital and going home would start my family on the path to recovery. That’s what I was clinging to. That hope. That belief that my life as I knew it wasn’t over.
That my family was still salvageable.
“Kelly, sweetie, are you okay?”
I paused mid-squat and looked to the door to see my friend, Karen, standing there, a paper bag with a popular fast food logo on the front.
“Oh my God, is that for me?” I asked, rushing toward her.
Karen laughed and held it out to me.
“Yes, I figured you could use a break from hospital food.”
“You’re an angel,” I gushed as I opened the bag and the delicious smell of a hamburger wafted out.
And, seriously, she was an angel.
Karen had not only done my hair and brought me clothes and makeup, but she’d brought in a laptop and set it up so I could binge watch shows that I’d missed. She’d made a list of what I’d like, it was sitting on the table next to my bed, and so far, she’d been spot on.
I’d always known she was a great friend, but a person’s grace really shines when the shit hits the fan. And Karen had not only shown up for me but had gone above and beyond and been my one constant through this whole ordeal.
“So, other than being obviously starved, how are things?” Karen asked as we both settled on the edge of my bed.
“My legs are getting stronger, all of my tests have been good, and the doc says if I keep it up, I could be home as soon as this weekend.”
“Wow, that’s great,” Karen said, then bit her lower lip and asked, “And things with Sean … anything new there?”
I took a big bite of burger and shook my head.
I felt a twinge of guilt over trying to brush off her question, but I really, really didn’t want to think about Sean and his other woman.
“Kelly,” Karen urged, her eyes conveying that she wasn’t going to let me off the hook. “You have to talk to him about it.”
I took another bite.
She continued.
“You know I’m not Sean’s biggest fan, but I’ve never doubted his love for you. I don’t think this thing with Madeline was something he entered into easily, and he never would have done it had he known you were going to wake up.”
I stared ahead while I chewed and felt her arm come around me.
“Three years is a long time to be lonely. He and Jake weren’t getting along, your mother was as mean to him as always and honestly, if I had free time, I was spending it with you, not checking in on him. He didn’t really have anything, other than the bookstore, and a business can’t give the emotional support that we as humans need.”
I gave her the side eye and finished my burger.
“Look, Kel, I’m not saying you have to be happy about it, or even forgive him. Only you can decide if your relationship can survive all that’s happened or not. But I do think you need to hear him out … try and put yourself in Sean’s shoes.”
I sighed and tossed the wrapper in the bag.
Finally, I shifted toward her on the bed and said, “I know you’re right, Karen, but it was such a shock. I mean, in my wildest dreams I never would have imagined Sean cheating, and no matter the circumstances, that’s what it feels like to me. Cheating. I promise that I’ll give him the chance to tell me what happened, no matter how much it’s going to hurt, but I really want to wait until I’m in the comfort of my own home before I have to deal with any more life-changing moments. Okay?”
“Of course, Kel, whatever you need,” she assured me with a small smile. “And you know, no matter what happens, I’ll always have your back.”
“I know,” I replied, and honestly, it was the only thing in life I was sure of.
Thirteen
Jacob
I slid my books off the desk and into my backpack seconds before the bell started ringing, signaling the end of the school day.
I walked out of the room, not paying attention to those around me as I headed toward my locker.
“Baby!”
I glanced to the right as I opened my locker to see Ally bounding down the hall toward me.
My heart clenched, but I managed a smile.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked casually.
“Nothin’. You want to get out of here? Go to my place, or yours?” she asked, doing that thing with her lips she did when she was trying to be sexy, or let me know she was hoping to get off.
“Can’t,” I said, slamming my locker shut.
“Why not?” she asked with a pout.
“My mom’s coming home tomorrow, so Dad wants us to do this deep-cleaning thing on the house, so it looks nice for her. Then I’m going to hit up a few places and see who’s hiring. I need to find work.”
“Oh, well, I could come help you clean,” Ally offered.
I smirked.
Yeah, right, Ally never lifted a hand to clean anything if she could help it.
“Nah, I don’t think so,” I replied.
When her face dropped, it made me feel like a dick, so I put my arm around her and pulled her close.
“If you’re there, I won’t be able to concentrate,” I murmured, leaning in to place my lips on her neck. “You know how distracting you are…”
Ally sighed and tilted her head so I could continue what I was doing.
I bit, then licked her sensitive skin before nuzzling her just under her ear.
“You know how my dad’s been. Constantly threatening to take the keys to the Jeep. That’s why I’m going to go do what he wants then find myself a job so I can make my own money and eventually get the fuck out of his house.”
“I know, baby, I just hate that we haven’t been getting to spend time together. What with your mom and all,” she said, causing my stomach to tighten.
I didn’t know what her deal with my mom was. I’d asked her about the way she’d acted when they’d met, and Ally had said she’d just been nervous, but it hadn’t felt that way to me. She’d been intentionally rude and had almost seemed like she was jealous.
Of my mother.
“And now if you get a job, you’ll have even
less time with me,” Ally complained.
I tried to ignore my doubts about her being jealous and clingy, cause this was Ally. The girl who was always there for me. The only person who believed in me. My first everything.
So what if she sometimes did things that got on my nerves, I’m sure I did too. Probably all the time.
“I’ll always make time for you,” I promised.
Ally pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes.
“Prove it.”
I grabbed her hand in mine and tugged, leading her down the hall and out of the building.
Instead of going to the parking lot, I turned left and headed toward the bleachers.
It was a common hookup spot, although usually in the evening or after dark, not right after school when students were still milling around, and the jocks were getting ready for practice.
But I didn’t have a lot of time and I knew if I relented and took Ally home with me, I wouldn’t get shit done. She wouldn’t allow it. So, I needed to get her off my back … hell, I just needed to get her off, give her what she wanted and get the hell out of there.
“What are you doing?” Ally asked with a giggle, but I could hear the anticipation in her voice. The breathiness.
Ally was an extremely sexual creature. We both were. I don’t know if our relationship was typical, but I knew I was lucky that she’d picked me out of every guy in our school.
Rather than respond, I walked faster, intent on getting us under the bleachers. Once we were about halfway in, I stopped and maneuvered her, so she was facing me. I took her hands and moved them above her head, indicating she should hold on to the bar above.
I did this all without saying a word and I could tell that was turning her on as much as the anticipation of what was to come.
Once she was secure, I stepped in closer, so there was barely an inch between us, and placed my mouth once again on her neck. I started to suck as my hands explored. First, under the thin cotton of her shirt, I caressed her soft skin, and when my fingers reached her bralette, or whatever the hell she called that barely there scrap of lace, I felt her heartrate pick up.
She moaned as my hand cupped her tit and thrust herself forward as I pinched her beaded nipple between my fingers and tugged.
“Jake,” she purred, and I knew she wanted more.
My girl burned hot and fast, like a lit match.
While my mouth and left hand continued what they were doing, I moved my right down until I hit her thigh, then moved up under her skirt. The lace of her panty was already wet, just like I knew it would be, and I ignored the urge to free myself and fuck her right there.
Instead I moved her panties aside and thrust one finger inside, her hot, soaking core clamping down over it as she threw her head back and pushed down on my hand.
“Oh yes, Jake,” she murmured. When I felt her head turn, I moved my mouth to the other side and began sucking in earnest. Ally got off on having evidence of our sex life she could show off to her friends, so she loved it when I gave her hickeys. “Oh my god, someone’s watching.”
I heard the way her voice caught and knew she wasn’t asking me to stop.
“You like that, don’t you,” I said roughly in her ear as I added another finger inside of her and began to pump them in and out in earnest.
“Mmmm-hmmm,” she said, as she began to fuck my hand. “Faster.”
Within seconds she was coming and not even bothering to be quiet.
I fixed her clothes and grasped her hands to lower them.
“You liked being watched, didn’t you, dirty girl?” I asked, kissing the angry red marks on her neck softly.
Ally’s smile could only be called extremely satisfied as she looked back toward the opening of the bleachers.
I followed her gaze, but whoever had been there was gone.
“I didn’t know I’d like it so much,” she admitted, before looking at me with the pout once more on her face. “Guess you’re just going to leave me now.”
I sighed and wondered how the things I’d once found so endearing about her, now were feeling like a noose around my neck.
Fourteen
Sean
I had stayed up late and gotten up early to make sure the house was ready for Kelly to come home.
Jake had even helped me, which was surprising, even though I’d asked.
I’d gone grocery shopping to make sure the fridge and pantry were stocked with all of her favorites and had put fresh flowers in all the rooms. Not much had changed in the house while she’d been in a coma, but I’d bought a few things over the years. A new painting, a coat rack for the entryway, a few new electronics.
I did my best to ensure she wasn’t walking into a strange place. I wanted it to still feel like our home as much as possible, but it had been so long that it was hard for me to completely remember what was new and what wasn’t.
Jake was at school, so I’d picked up Kelly on my own.
Most of the paperwork had been done before I’d arrived, so when I got there, Kelly was dressed and ready. She was just waiting for the doctor to come in and give her the final go-ahead to leave. Once he did, the nurse had her get in a wheelchair and told me to meet them at the entrance.
After that, we were on our way, and, I had to say, the tension in the car was palpable.
Clearing my throat, I tried to ease some of it by saying, “I bet you’re happy to be out of the hospital.”
“Yes, of course, but a little nervous, too,” she said, not taking her eyes off the passenger-side window.
“About going home?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Jake and I will be there to help you … anything you need,” I assured her.
“That’s part of what I’m afraid of,” Kelly said, but didn’t expound. Afraid of what she’d say if I prodded, I didn’t push further, and we spend the rest of the drive home in silence.
Kelly’s eyes were wide on the house as we pulled into the driveway and I couldn’t even imagine what she must be going through. The emotion, the inner turmoil … so I tried to put myself in her shoes and really empathize with her and how she must be feeling.
This isn’t about me, it isn’t even about us, it’s about Kelly.
After a few minutes of sitting quietly in the car, I asked, “Are you ready?”
She finally turned her head toward me and nodded.
I got out first, then hurried around the car to help her out.
“I’ll take you in and then come out to get your bags,” I said when I opened her door.
I’d opened the garage, so we went in through the side door that opened into the kitchen. As Kelly looked around, I tried to see the space through her eyes and hoped she enjoyed the fresh smell of the flowers and the fruit basket filled with bananas and apples, just like she’d always kept it.
I left her standing there, her hands resting on the marble island as her eyes took everything in, and went back out to get her things.
Once I had everything, I paused briefly outside the door in an effort to collect myself, before going back inside. Having her home again was more emotional than I expected it to be, but I didn’t want to burden her with the weight of my emotions, when it was so obvious she was having plenty of her own.
“I’ll go put these in our room. Do you need anything before I go up?” I asked when I saw she was still standing in the same spot.
“I need to talk to you about that,” she said.
“About what?”
“Our room,” Kelly began, eyeing me warily. “I need you to sleep somewhere else. The guest room, or the living room, wherever you’ll be more comfortable, but I’m not ready for you to share my bed.”
My stomach clenched and the back of my throat burned.
I don’t know why I hadn’t expected this, why somewhere in the back of my head I’d imagined when Kelly came home everything would go back to normal, despite everything that had happened.
It was naïve of me to think so, but maybe
I was still an optimist at heart.
“I,” I paused when my voice cracked. “I understand. I’ll move my things into the guest room.”
Kelly was watching me, and I think she must have sensed how hard this was for me, because she gave me the slightest of smiles and said, “Thanks.”
It was the closest thing to a smile she’d given me since finding out about Madeline, so I committed it to memory and walked out of the room, leaving her alone to get comfortable, which I didn’t think she’d be able to do with me hovering over her.
I put her bags on our bed and started to gather what I’d need to take with me into the guest room. Toiletries for the guest bath, pajamas, and clothes for work the next day. I figured that was enough to get me started and hopefully my stay in the guest room would be temporary and Kelly would let me back in the room soon.
She has to, right? Because the alternative doesn’t bear thinking.
Fifteen
Kelly
I pulled the apple pie out of the oven and placed it on a rack to cool.
I’d been doing a lot of cooking since I’d been home. Making family dinners, baking, eating all the things I love to try and erase the memories of all the hospital food I’ve been eating.
I was starting to feel more like myself and the house had started to feel like my home again, even though Sean was still sleeping in the guest room.
I filled my days with cooking and cleaning. Karen came by a few times a week and I’d even had Connor and Blake over for brunch, although Sean had begged off saying he had to be at the bookstore.
And I spent as much time with Jake as I could, although with school, work, and Ally, he didn’t have too much extra time.
When my phone rang, I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel then picked it up to see who was calling. I sighed when I saw it was my mother.
“Hi, Mom, how’re you doing?” I asked when I pressed accept.
Unwoven Ties Page 5
