I stood up and faced him, my hands on my hips.
“No, actually, I’d rather there was no Madeline to speak to at all!” I yelled, not caring who might hear. I was tired of holding this in. Tired of choking on the feelings of betrayal. “I wish you’d never moved on, that you’d waited for me and were still the man I used to know.”
Sean flinched.
“I am that man,” he argued.
Shaking my head, I countered, “No, you’re not. The man I knew would never talk to a woman the way you talked to Madeline out there. Would never treat a woman the way you’ve been treating her. The man I married wouldn’t have slept with someone else.”
That last sentence came out in a whisper.
Sean looked stricken as he replied, “I can’t keep apologizing for Madeline. I wish I’d had the foresight to know you’d wake up, but the doctors all said it was a slim chance, and I got lonely. Are you going to punish me for it for the rest of our lives?”
“Sean, the woman I saw out there … she’s not the kind of woman you date casually or keep around to get laid. She’s the kind of woman you build a life with,” I replied, not bothering to mask my pain. “Honestly, I’m not sure the rest of our lives will be spent together.”
Slapping him would have caused less pain, I could see it in his eyes.
“What are you saying?” he choked out.
I took a deep breath and replied, “I’m saying I’m going to move out. I’ll get an apartment and figure out what my next steps are.”
“No, you can’t mean that.”
“I do,” I said simply. “I need some time … some space.”
“Then, I’ll move out. You should stay in the house with Jake and start working here. I’ll stay away for a while, to give you the space you need, but, Kelly, I have no intention of letting you go for good. I’ll fight for us.”
I nodded, not wanting to argue any more.
“Okay, if you’re sure. But, Sean, I’m serious. I need time to think and so do you. You need to figure out what you want to do about Madeline and have a conversation with her about it. Don’t keep blowing her off.”
“I will.”
“As for us, we’ll have to see. Of course, you can see Jake when you want, but it might be best if we don’t see each other for a while. At least not until I get adjusted and decide what to do.”
“Okay,” Sean said softly, his tone full of regret. “But know this, Kel, I love you … I never stopped.”
Nineteen
Jacob
I finished wiping down the last of the tables in the coffee shop and headed toward the back to get the broom.
My shift had gone by pretty fast. There’d been a guy on stage tonight, Derek Chase, and he’d been really good. Singer-songwriter type with a cool vibe and amazing voice. I’d found myself getting caught up in his performance a few times when I was supposed to be bussing tables, but I couldn’t help it.
He was doing the kind of music I wanted to do.
Afterwards, Summit had introduced us and told Derek I had real potential. When Derek said we should jam sometime, I couldn’t believe my good luck. That was exactly what I’d been hoping for when I got the job. The chance to meet other artists and start to take my music seriously.
I was still riding that high when I finished closing up and headed out to a party at one of my buddy’s house where I was supposed to meet Ally.
I was looking forward to unwinding and hanging out with her and my friends, which was something it seemed like I hadn’t had a chance to do in ages. I didn’t want to worry about my parents, or fight with Ally over my busy schedule, I just wanted to have a drink, smoke some kush, and relax.
Cars were lining the street, so I had to park a few houses down. I looked around, surprised because I thought it was going to be a small group, but if the crowd of people gathered on the porch was any indication, it seemed word had gotten out.
Oh well, so much for a chill night.
“Hey, Jake, how’s it goin’ man?”
I looked up as I climbed the steps to see a guy from one of my classes holding out his hand. I wasn’t sure what his name was … Kyle or Ken or something like that. I slapped it and said, “Not much. You?”
“Can’t complain,” he said, holding up a bottle of Jack.
“Guess not,” I replied, then moved past him to go inside.
“Damn,” I muttered when I walked in to see the living room was packed.
Everywhere I looked there were kids from my high school, and a few I recognized from some of the other schools nearby, drinking, talking, and even a small group of scantily dressed girls dancing in the center of the room.
Of course, that’s where I found my girlfriend.
Ally was wearing a tight-fitting, thin-strapped tank top with short shorts. When she spun around, I could see the bottom of her ass cheeks hanging out. Her long hair was straightened, so it looked longer than usual, cascading down her back and ending at the top of her shorts. Her makeup was flawless and the way she was laughing and looked a bit unsteady on her feet, told me she was lit.
Great, I thought, all hopes for a chill night flying out the window.
I saw my buddy, Adrian, whose house this was, sitting with a couple of our friends on the couch, so rather than dealing with drunk Ally, I changed course and headed toward them.
“Jake,” a couple of the guys called out.
I lifted my chin in acknowledgement and held out my hand to Adrian.
“Hey, man,” he said, slapping it once. “Glad you could make it.”
“What happened?” I asked with a laugh, looking around pointedly. “I thought we were just gonna hang.”
“The girls, that’s what happened,” Adrian replied, tilting his head toward Ally and her friends. “They snapped some pics and next thing I knew every horny fucking teenager in the tri-state area was on my doorstep.”
A couple of the guys chuckled.
“Drinks in the kitchen,” Adrian said, pointing his beer bottle in that direction. “Help yourself.”
I went and grabbed a beer for myself and a couple for the other guys, then joined them in the living room.
We were talking about everything and nothing when I felt a hard tap on my shoulder.
My lips were turned up over something Adrian said, when I looked up to see Ally standing there, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. My smile dropped and I fought the urge to sigh loudly.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey, babe?” she scoffed. “Really, that’s all you have to say to me?”
Not really sure how I could answer that without pissing her off more, I stayed silent.
“You’ve been here for like thirty minutes, Jake. I know you saw me when you walked in, yet in all that time you didn’t think you should come over and say hi. Maybe see what I was doing? Offer me a drink?”
“You looked like you were having fun dancing, I didn’t want to interrupt,” I told her, doing my best to remain calm and collected.
“I never get to spend any time with you, unless your parents are around. I thought you’d want to interrupt, maybe dance with me … at the very least hang with me. But, no, you chose to come over here and drink with your dumbass friends instead.”
“Hey,” one of the guys objected, but he was ignored.
Oh how I wished to trade places with him in that moment.
Since this was the opposite of what I was hoping my night would look like, I stood up and looked at Adrian. “Thanks for the invite, man, I’ll see you later.”
“Later, Jake,” he replied.
“What are you doing?” Ally asked, putting her hand on my arm as I walked past.
“Going home,” I said, shaking her off and walking out without looking back.
Twenty
Sean
I finished putting the last of my clothes in a box and sealed it up.
I couldn’t believe it had actually come to this and I was moving out of our house. I wanted to respect Kelly’s w
ishes and give her what she needed but leaving was killing me.
I’d found a furnished condo, so all I needed to take with me was my clothes, toiletries, and some of the paperwork and items I kept in my office. Which made it easier, and faster, for me to move quickly and give Kelly the space she requested.
No one was helping me move, or had seen my new place but me, and that in itself was like a foreshadowing of the loneliness I knew was to come.
Jake said he’d come by after his shift this weekend, but I had a feeling it was more because his mother told him to, than because he actually wanted to. He hadn’t seemed all that surprised when we’d sat him down to tell him I was moving out.
I’m sure he expected it since he obviously knew about Madeline and things had been pretty strained at home since Kelly’d left the hospital.
“Do you need any help?”
I glanced over to see Kelly standing in the doorway looking sad and a little nervous.
“No, I’m just finishing up. I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes,” I told her, trying to keep my tone light rather than projecting the pain I was feeling on her.
Kelly tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded.
“I, uh, made some baked ziti for dinner and put some in a container for you to take with you.”
My heart thrummed painfully at the gesture.
“Thanks. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that my refrigerator and pantry are empty.”
Looked like I needed to go shopping before I started my job hunt.
“I’m sorry,” Kelly said, barely above a whisper.
“Hey,” I said, leaving the box on the dresser and moving to her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You need time and space and that is one-hundred percent understandable. Okay. Just know I’m a phone call away if you need anything, here or at the bookstore.”
“Thanks, Sean. I really appreciate you doing this for me. I know it’s hard, and it’s not what you want…”
“I’ll do anything for you,” I told her, hoping to God she still believed it.
Kelly nodded, but didn’t say anything further, so I turned to grab the box and followed her downstairs.
“The rest of the boxes are in the car,” I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable when I realized she was probably waiting for me to leave.
She put the container of pasta on top of the box and I said, “Thank you,” before turning and going out the garage door to put it in the trunk with my other things.
After I closed the trunk, I took one last long look at the house before getting in my car and pulling out of the driveway. It took some effort, but I was able to hold back the tears burning in the back of my throat and drive off without looking back.
When I neared my new street, rather than turning right and heading to the condo, I put my foot on the gas and floored it.
I wasn’t ready to face it yet. Once I took my boxes inside and unpacked, all of this would be real.
Once I’d driven a few blocks away, I saw a sign for a popular diner and pulled into the parking lot. It was nearing dinner time, so I figured I’d stall a bit and get something hot to eat. I wouldn’t have to worry about grocery shopping until tomorrow and I could eat Kelly’s ziti for breakfast.
“How many?” the older lady asked when I stepped inside.
“Just one,” I said, and as I followed her, I realized I would be just one for the foreseeable future.
When Kelly was initially in a coma, Jake had only been twelve, so we’d done everything together. Once he got older and wanted less and less to do with me, I had Madeline. This was the first time since I started living with Kelly that I’d been alone.
Living alone. Dining alone. Just one.
I shook off the sadness that threatened to consume me as I sat and accepted the menu with a, “Thank you.”
I ordered coffee and breakfast for dinner, which felt like an indulgence since it was something I never did, and breakfast was my favorite meal of the day. I went all out, feasting on country fried steak and gravy, fried eggs, home fries, and a side of bacon.
By the time I was finished, my belly was full, my spirits had risen, and I knew I was ready to go face the condo.
I paid my check and got back in my car, and this time when I got to my new street, I turned down it and accepted my fate.
Twenty-One
Kelly
The last few days had been really great.
Now that I was working in the bookstore, I was kicking myself for staying away so long. It truly was my happy place.
Even though I was still upset with him, I had to give Sean credit for building the store of my dreams. I loved everything about it … the beautiful stacks of shelves, the comfy sitting areas and coffee, but most especially, the children’s area.
It was a little reader’s dream, and it was literally my dream realized.
I found myself spending a good chunk of my day there, especially now that I’d started a children’s reading hour. I loved picking out favorites from my own childhood, and books I’d read to Jake, and sharing them with new readers. To see their faces light up as some great fantasy came to life on the page was magical.
“Here you are, Ms. Kelly.”
I looked up from where I was organizing the coloring station to see Carl holding out a cup of coffee.
“You didn’t have to do that, I would have come to get it,” I said as I took the cup.
“It’s not problem at all,” Carl said jovially. “I didn’t want it to get cold.”
“Thank you,” I said, taking a sip.
Carl gave me a thumbs up and turned to go back to his station.
“Wow, this looks amazing.”
I turned my head again, but this time was surprised to see Connor walking my way.
“Hello, Connor, what brings you by today?” I asked, wondering if he was here for himself or for Blake.
I could think of twenty books off the top of my head I was sure his daughter would love.
“I was actually just passing by and thought I’d stop in on the off chance you’d be here. Thought I’d see how you’re doing,” he said.
“Oh,” I said, a little surprised. “That’s nice. I’m doing really well actually. Happy to be out of the hospital, for sure. Especially the bed,” I added with a laugh.
“I bet. Is Sean here?” he asked, looking around.
“No. Actually, he’s giving me a little space so I can get a handle on running the store on my own.”
“Oh…”
Connor seemed unsure of what to say, so I figured I may as well tell him all of it.
“Yeah, we’re actually on a little break. He’s got his own place and started a new job.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said politely.
“Thanks.”
“If you ever want to hang out, or just need to talk, I’m always available.”
I wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so I simply gave him a small smile and took a long sip of coffee.
“Well, since I’m here, maybe I should pick up something for Blake.”
Now that, I can handle.
“What kind of books does she like?” I asked, already moving toward the Young Adult section.
“She reads a lot of fantasy, Sarah J. Maas, that kind of stuff.”
“I’m impressed,” I said with a genuine smile. “You not only know the genre, but the author she reads as well.”
Connor grinned sheepishly. “She actually turned me on to them, so we buddy read them together.”
“Oh, I love that,” I said as I stopped in front of the YA Fantasy section. “So, if she loves Sarah J. Maas, you should try these.”
I handed him the first in the latest series from Jennifer L. Armentrout.
“Have you read them?” I asked.
“No. At least, not that I know of … I’ll get two. It can be our next buddy read.”
I walked him to the counter and handed the books off to Liz, one of the cashiers. Once he was checked out, I tha
nked him for coming and started to leave when he stopped me.
“Don’t forget to call if you need … anything.”
I gave him a slight nod and finger wave, then went back to work.
I wasn’t sure how Sean had felt when he initially started seeing Madeline, and I wasn’t a hundred percent certain Connor had even been hinting at such a thing, but the whole encounter left me feeling weird and unsettled.
I wasn’t ready to forgive Sean and get back to the way things used to be between us, but I wasn’t quite ready to give up on us either.
I was confused.
But although I missed Sean, missed having my husband in the house, I was also kind of enjoying getting to know who I was without him. Plus, getting one-on-one time with Jake when he was home was priceless.
He was starting to be more relaxed around me and opening up a bit more. We were nowhere near as close as we used to be, but it was a start. One that gave me hope and filled me with love and joy.
Twenty-Two
Jacob
“I feel like we never get to see each other anymore,” Ally said, again, and I hated the way her words made me feel.
We’d texted back and forth since the party but hadn’t been able to get together until now.
I couldn’t help but think she was whining and complaining about things that were out of my control, and I hated that she seemed to want me to feel guilty about the shitstorm that was currently my life.
I wanted her support, but instead, it seemed like she was just adding to the pressure.
I tried to watch my words with her, not wanting to hurt her feelings or make her feel slighted. But after the way she’d acted at the party and the week I’d been having, I didn’t have it in me to sensor my feelings just to monitor hers.
“Are you seriously gonna start this again?” I asked, hopping down off of the picnic table we’d been sitting on top of while we made out.
Unwoven Ties Page 7
