by Kadin, Karri
“We are just friends. He is a great teacher for this self-defense stuff. He makes me feel like I can be an action movie hero.”
“Whatever you say. You should invite him over tonight! We can play Candy Land and have a little bonfire in the backyard. It would give you an excuse to spend time with him without him training you.” Morgan skipped, excited about her idea. Allison could think of many reasons this wasn’t a good idea but couldn’t tell Morgan any of them since they all went back to her being a former Infected with government henchmen trying to hunt her down. So she just gave Morgan a slight nod. Morgan leaped into the air like a little kid who just got a full-size candy bar dropped into her Halloween bag. Morgan began chattering away, plotting the night ahead, but Allison’s thoughts were far away from a fun night around a bonfire because she knew the night would end with a goodbye.
Even if she didn’t have reason to expect the Collectors any day now, the longer she remained in New Harbor, the harder it would be on her and everyone else when she disappeared. Not to mention the more likely it was her friends would find out her secret. Luckily, her flashbacks had slowed since arriving in the town and she had always been alone when they hit her. But her luck would run out. If she decided against her better judgement to stay, it would be evident that she was a former Infected, different, one of the monsters everyone feared. The thought of her friends knowing what she was tied a knot in her chest that pulled all of her muscles so tight she could barely breathe.
On top of all the reasons she already had to leave town, she found one more while reviewing her notes. Allison was close to the cabin. At least she was 90% sure she was near the cabin. She had to go there. She needed to leave while she was still strong-willed enough to do so and before anyone got hurt because of her. She would tell everyone tonight that she had to go. She would just tell them she needed to find her family.
When Morgan and Allison arrived at the field, they split off in different directions. Morgan took a seat on the sidelines while Joe was teaching a group of men how to break out of holds. Allison headed infield toward Trevor who was waiting for her.
“Good morning. I figured we’d start a little differently today.” He began stretching a little as he spoke. Allison watched his muscles tense beneath his shirt before averting her eyes. She needed to stay focused on the training, not Trevor’s lickable body.
He said, “We have been practicing everything for days. I think you have the mechanics down pretty well. You know what to do; it’s just a matter of if you can actually use your skills when it matters.” He lunged for Allison as soon as the words left his lips. She was taken aback by his charge and couldn’t move out of the way quick enough. He grabbed her wrist as she tried to put distance between herself and him. She clenched her fist on her captured hand. With her free hand she grabbed her clenched fist and pulled up hard and fast where his thumb and fingers met, encircling her wrist. She jerked free and put space between them. She braced herself for his next assault, her arms up, ready to block any more of his advances. He raced toward her and threw two punches at her head. She blocked the first, but the second landed solidly on her jaw. A wave of pain shot through to the back of her head. Her mouth filled up with warm blood, coating her tongue with the taste of iron. She spat blood onto the green grass at her feet while she took the opportunity to return blows. He blocked all of her strikes. Allison felt her adrenaline pumping and the familiar urge sitting right below the surface waiting to erupt. She wanted to win this fight, but she did not want to risk severely injuring Trevor. She tried to push the thought down, to hold on to her logical senses as she battled against her instincts, trying to suppress her rage.
She had only been preoccupied by these thoughts for a moment, but that’s all Trevor needed. He moved in, delivering a punch to her gut followed by a kick to her legs, knocking her down onto her knees. He swooped behind her, wrapping her neck in-between his arms. She couldn’t breathe. She struggled against his arms, clawing at them with her nails. His hold tightened. She was going to pass out. An eruption of heat burst from the center of her body to the surface. She firmly grasped his arms and stood to her feet, hoisting him from the ground.
Trevor grunted and his hold loosened as his feet left the ground. “What the fuck?”
Allison threw him forward over her head. Yards away, he hit the ground with a thud. He stretched his arms above his head as he tried to catch his breath. Her body surged with energy as her vision blurred around Trevor, leaving only him in focus. Her ears filled with the beat of her racing heart. Kill him. She clenched her jaw as hate built up a fiery heat in her core, radiating throughout her body, sending her stomach into flips. Allison ran toward him and threw her body on his, pinning him to the ground. Blood dripped from her mouth onto Trevor’s face. A deep rumbling filled her ears, deafening her.
Allison’s lips upturned in a snarl flashing blood-tinged teeth.
“Aaa . . . Allison . . .” Trevor stuttered. He scurried backward across the ground, separating himself from her. “Stop, Allison, stop!” he screamed. She pounced on him.
That’s when she realized she was growling.
She used this brief moment of clarity to push the rage and heat back to her core where it belonged and quickly jumped up off of him. He sat up, staring at her as she backed away from him. Guilt overtook her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Tears filled her eyes and she wiped her arm across her face, leaving streaks of blood and tears on her sleeve.
“Allison . . . what . . . ?” Trevor stammered while shakily trying to rise from the ground. Allison turned and ran. She saw Morgan out of the corner of her eye, staring at her from the sideline, mouth agape while Trevor screamed for her to stop. She ran till she was back in her room, alone, and cried until she fell asleep still covered in earth, tears, and blood. What have I done?
Allison awoke to the sound of voices from the kitchen. She opened the door just a crack, peeking out. She could hear Matt, Morgan, and Trevor. It didn’t sound like anyone else was there. Once she knew the coast was clear, she silently walked toward the kitchen.
“So, you are telling me that little Allison threw you over her head four feet away from her?” Matt asked, the snark evident in his voice.
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.” Trevor’s tone was tense.
“He’s telling the truth. I saw it. I saw her do it. She threw him like he weighed nothing at all. It didn’t even look like it was hard for her. It was amazing!” Morgan’s excited voice was louder than the others.
“Let’s say what you guys are saying is true, that you aren’t fucking with me. You know what that means then, right?” Matt’s voice was serious now.
“She was infected.” Trevor’s voice quivered as he spoke. “I’ve heard the stories of former Infected with these superhuman abilities. I’ve even met a few former Infected, but none of them were anything other than your average person.” Allison’s gut twisted in response to the shakiness in Trevor’s voice.
“So, what do we do now?” Matt questioned. Allison stepped into the room, coming face to face with the group. They all took a step back from her, so in step with each other they could have been a chorus line. Allison kept against the wall, giving them as much space as possible.
“It’s true. I was infected,” she said as she pushed her body into the wall, feeling the rough texture of it press into her bare arms. Maybe if she leaned into it hard enough she would become one with the wall and escape this conversation.
“And you’re super strong now?” Matt asked, furrowing his brow, his eyes dark with worry.
“Yes. Look, I know this is weird. I know that you are all freaked out now and I get it. But you don’t have to be. I’m leaving tomorrow.” Allison slipped her hands into her pockets to keep them from shaking. “I am sorry, Trevor. I didn’t mean for things to happen like that. Sometimes I just can’t control it.”
“You can’t leave! Tell her, Matt!” Morgan cried o
ut, pleading with her brother. Matt looked at his sister, then back at Allison. Silence filled the room and Allison inched back, heading into the hall. Trevor broke the silence by pulling a chair out from the dining table, scraping the legs across the floor. He sat down and pointed to the chair across from him.
“Sit. Tell us your story.” His voice was calm and smooth, like a parent comforting a child. Allison crossed the room and took the seat. Her hands shook and she clasped them together to steady the shaking. One, two, three—stay calm—four, five, six—stay focused—eight, nine, ten—don’t forget to breathe. Morgan sat down next to her and looked at her brother. Matt hesitated, shifting his weight from leg to leg.
“Well if we are going to do this I need a drink.” He stepped over to the fridge and opened it, sighing before pulling out a pitcher of milk. “I was hoping for something stronger than this, but whatever. This will have to fucking do. At least it’s not water.” He grabbed some glasses and set them on the table with the pitcher of milk before taking a seat next to Trevor. Morgan jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen.
“I have something that will make this better,” she said as she left the room. The others sat in silence at the table and Morgan returned holding a can of powdered cocoa. “I found this before we made it to this town. I’ve been holding onto it for a special occasion and I think this qualifies.” She set it on the table with a spoon and took her seat next to Allison again. Everyone made themselves glasses of chocolate milk, the clattering of spoons against glasses filling the dead air. Allison ran her fingers around the rim of her glass.
“My mom used to make me chocolate milk when I was upset. I miss her so much.” Allison quietly murmured. “So, what do you want to know?”
“How about everything?” Trevor said firmly. Allison took a deep breath and clasped her shaking hands in her lap. With her head down and voice trembling, she began. She told them about waking up in the woods, finding out about the outbreak, the party where she was infected, about Gabby, Dave and Sandra, and her flashbacks. She told them about Dr. Neff, Nurse Catherine, that they stole part of her journal and how they have been tracking her. She told them everything, every detail she could remember minus the gory ones. Her friends sat without speaking, listening to her as she opened the floodgates of her miserable story.
“So that’s why I have to leave. I need to make it to that cabin to see if I can remember anything else. And if I stay here too long, Dr. Neff will find me. I need to keep moving.” Allison looked at her friends as she finished her words.
“So, you remember killing people?” Morgan asked, speaking for the first time since she brought the cocoa. She looked at Allison with a tinge of fear in her eyes. Allison’s heart ached under Morgan’s fearful gaze.
“Yeah, bits and pieces. I’m trying to piece it all together, that’s why I’m going to all of these places. Trying to figure it out, trying to make amends.” Allison hung her head.
“I don’t think that’s something you can make amends for,” Morgan hissed.
“Since the outbreak we have all done things we can’t make amends for,” Matt said, making brief eye contact with his sister, causing her to look away sheepishly.
“So, Dr. Neff and this Nurse Catherine. That’s why you wanted me to teach you, isn’t it?” Trevor looked into Allison’s eyes as he spoke. “They are who you were worried about, not the Infected.”
“Yes.” Allison looked back at Trevor with pleading eyes. “I can’t let them catch me. He will kill me, or worse.”
Trevor said, his voice firm, “Everyone says he is experimenting on people and Infected. I believed it before but your story, him being after you, is confirmation of that. You need to do whatever you can to stay away from him. You have your strength in your favor, but he has the numbers. He has hundreds of Collectors on his payroll and spies all over the place. He outnumbers you and he’s used to dealing with former Infected. He probably has some tricks up his sleeve.”
“That is the plan. Avoid Dr. Neff at all costs. Piece together my life, make amends where I can. Find Gabby and my family.” Allison stood, taking the empty pitcher and glasses over to the sink. She began washing them. Morgan came and stood next to her, soundlessly drying as Allison washed.
Matt said, standing up and stretching, “I met him once at a medical camp. He is the definition of dickhead. Let alone what people have said about him.” He leaned against the wall.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ve already been here too long. I’ve put everyone in danger by staying here. I can’t do that anymore.” Allison finished cleaning the last glass and handed it to Morgan.
“So, you will leave and be by yourself again?” Morgan asked with her eyes to the ground.
“Well, yeah that’s the plan.”
“No! I’m going with you.” Morgan slammed the glass down onto the counter. “Look, I’m not thrilled about everything you just told us. I’m not happy you kept the fact that you were infected from me. I hate the Infected. They took everything from me.” Morgan hesitated, looking down at her hands before glancing at Matt. “But you are my friend and I can’t let you go alone. So I’m going too.”
“We should talk about this, Morgan,” Matt said, his face red with anger.
“There is nothing to discuss. If she’s leaving, I’m leaving.” Morgan stared at her brother, unwavering.
“Then I’m going too. I can’t let you get fucking killed. You are all I have left.” Matt reached out and wrapped his sister in a bear hug. Morgan held him tight, burying her face into his shoulder.
“I think leaving is the wrong thing to do,” Trevor said, a concerned look on his face. “You said they had part of your journal. So they know your plans even if they don’t know everywhere you want to go. The best thing to do is to find a secluded place where you can live and hide. That’s what you should do to survive.”
“What’s the point in surviving if you’re not living?” Allison was almost screaming with frustration. “You have no idea what it’s like to know you are a monster. To know you are the reason so many people cry at night missing their loved ones. Why so many innocent people died. I have to make things right. I can’t just survive and act like nothing happened.” Trevor stood and hesitated before walking out of the kitchen. Allison heard the front door slam as he left the house. She slumped in her chair as tears escaped her eyes. She looked at Matt and Morgan, “I leave in the morning.”
“We leave in the morning,” Morgan said.
Chapter Nineteen
Allison
The next day Allison woke before the others and lay in her covers savoring the comfort and coziness of having a proper bed to sleep in. Who knew when she would have this luxury again?
She replayed Trevor stomping out of the house the night before over and over again in her head but forced her tears to remain at bay. She never meant to hurt or disappoint him. Someday, hopefully, he would understand. When she heard Morgan and Matt getting ready she got out of bed and finished packing as well. The three friends took everything of usefulness from the house that could fit in their bags. Matt tried unsuccessfully to convince Morgan her makeup bag was not an essential.
“Of course you would think that. You’re a boy. Do you know how hard it is to find real makeup now? Everything being made is so damn expensive. I’m keeping this.” And she tucked the small bag back into her pack.
Allison went over her journal with the twins and which direction they needed to go. Matt was helpful in planning the route that would have the least number of Collectors as he sometimes traveled outside of New Harbor to trade with other towns. They set a plan on how to get at least in the general vicinity of the cabin. Maybe once they were closer Allison could describe it more to locals they encountered and they could help guide them. At least Allison hoped this was the case.
At sunrise the three friends stepped outside onto the dark porch and nearly stumbled over Trevor as he sat leaning against the wall with his pack on the ground next to him.
�
�Holy fuck, man! I almost squashed you. What are you doing here?” Matt shouted.
“I’m coming with you guys.” Trevor rose from the porch and threw his pack over his shoulder.
“I thought this was stupid,” Morgan said with a hand on her hip, glaring at Trevor.
“Yeah it fucking is. But I’m still coming. Look, I don’t have anyone left. As far as I know everyone I knew is dead. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” Trevor made eye contact with Allison as he spoke his last sentence. Allison’s stomach fluttered and a half-smile graced her lips. Matt eyed the two of them.
“We will be somewhere over there, anywhere but here in tension town,” Matt said as he pushed Morgan along toward Allison’s truck.
“I’m sorry I stormed off last night. I understand why you are doing this. Living with the guilt you have must eat at you. Not knowing if your friend or family is alive . . . I can’t imagine that. I let my emotions get the best of me. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I want to help you.” Trevor stepped closer to Allison as he spoke and placed his hand on her forearm, sliding it down until his fingertips brushed hers. She felt the thump of her heart in her ears. The world slowed but her breath quickened as he leaned forward till his forehead touched hers. Her skin tingled under his touch. A lump formed in her throat and butterflies fluttered in her stomach. “Please let me help you.” His voice was quiet and sad. She brushed her palm against his, interlocking their fingers before taking a small step back, breaking the touch and the electricity in the air between them.
“Okay.” She looked into his sapphire blue eyes and saw them glistened with moisture, not quite tears but close. She stepped away, widening the gap between them as he regained his composure when Morgan broke the silence.
