by Amelia Lee
WHEN A MAN
FALLS IN LOVE
Would you still love me the same?
by
Amelia Lee
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either pure the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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For cover illustration and book credits, please see at the end of the book.
Copyright © 2017 Amelia Lee. All rights reserved. Including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the author.
PROLOGUE
Many things have been through in my life. Many things have happened, whether it was good things or bad things, I've been through. My life was like a river, just flows without any significant bends. Just like a calm river, flowing. No fish, no curves. All appear to be flat.
And it all changed when we met.
My life was not like that flat river again, now that river had flowed trash and insincere. And you're the reason. I feel like I was dreaming, although this was not a dream. It was a reality.
A bitter reality that must be accepted.
Will you still love me the way I am used to?
Emmerich
Few years earlier, January 1, 2006
I walked alone down in a dark hallway that were stuffy and humid. My breath caught, almost exhausted as if the oxygen has been depleted. I looked around, empty. No one but me. My feet echoing down the hallway. The sun shining, penetrate through the slit of the hallway, causing a warm feeling when it touches my skin. Sunlight being the only source of lighting that illuminate me.
I continued walking down this dark alley. Question after question began to fill my brain. How did I get here? What I've done before so I could get here?
My eyes glazed sharply toward the front as soon as I heard a giggling sound. The voice was came from down the hall. That means I almost got to the end of the hallway. I turned my feet as quickly as possible to the origin of the voice. And when I got to the end, I saw not only a girl, but also a boy who was sitting back to back. They was scratching the soil, playing with that and giggling. I didn’t know what was in their imagination.
I asked the girl, "Hey, where am I?" They did not answer me. But laugh louder. I asked the boy, "Hey, what's your name?" He did not answer me.
I held the boy's shoulders with my hands, and when he looked back, I was shocked. He grinned at me, showed his long fangs. His eyes were red, scratches fulfill his face, leaving a gaping and bloody scars on the skin. I saw the girl, who was beside him that now turned her face to me. Her eyes were black and there was a big bloody hole in the middle of her forehead. I must be dreaming.
I walked backwards, away from them, and out of the alley immediately. What did I just see? I moved quickly, faster, almost running. Where was this? I run through a straight road which was decorated with tall trees on the left and right side. I still did not see anyone. The sky turned cloudy.
I stopped my feet shortly after I saw a young woman, wearing white clothing standing in front of me. I approached her slowly, she was crying. I did not say anything nor touched her shoulder, I was afraid her face will as scary as the children’s. But she turned her face when I was standing behind her and wiped her tears. Thank God she was ‘normal’.
"Why are you crying?" I asked. She did not answer. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and hugged me tightly, "I'm scared." She was shaking. Who the hell was she?
I let go of her arms as I felt her hugged became more tightly, as if I was the gas that will disappear at any time. I turned to face her. Her mouth was bleeding. Her back was full of blood, someone shot her using a rifle repeatedly. She fell down in front of me. I tried to see who the sniper was but I could not. He was far ahead of me. His face was covered by the thick fog. But slowly, he moved closer to me. My legs felt weak, I fell at that time. If this was a dream, this could be my baddest dream, I want to got up immediately.
I woke up with the pain that filled my head. My head felt pain and dizzy at the same time, as if it was being beaten many times. I noticed my wrist was infused. I was in the hospital. I saw a nurse approached me, she shouted for a doctor when she saw I was awake.
“Why did I get here?" I asked the old doctor who had been summoned by the nurse. I did not remember having a health problem or disease that involving my head before.
"You got a car crash," he replied.
"A car crash?" I said while holding my head. It hurts, really hurts.
"Yes. You're unconscious for three days, everyone thought you're not going to survive." He talked again, "Take a break, you have not recovered well. Someone will see you tomorrow." He told me to rest and walk leaving me. Who will visit me?
The next day, January 2, 2006
A thin policeman showed me some photographs. Photos of burned cars, photo of a man's body which I think he did not deserve to show it to me and a photo of a motorcycle that was crushed.
"Do you remember it?" The cop asked me.
I shook my head, "No. Not at all,"
"You got a car crash precisely on December 29, 2005. You were trying to avoid a young man who took the motorcycle, Daniel Meyer." He showed me a photo of a smiling charming young man, Daniel Meyer. The cop continued his words, "It was one a.m. with a rain storm. The streets were very slippery. Your car got into a canyon while the bike swerved and hit by a roadblock. He died on the spot. It took about six hours to get you out of your car. You got pretty much blood and unconscious."
I just nodded. I really did not remember anything. "My car's on fire?"
"Your car burst into flames shortly after falling completely to the bottom of the canyon. Everything’s gone." A police woman who had just come sit next to us. She gave me a brown envelope. "The results of your blood tests show that you did not use any drugs or alcohol, so we conclude this case purely an accident."
An old physician who approached me yesterday shortly after I recovered called me into his office. He questioned me and ask me many things."Are you feeling better now?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. But my head still hurts. Sometimes the pain is unbearable,"
He introduced himself to me, "I'm James Sullivan. I will take care of you and there are some things I want to ask you, and I hope you can answer." I nodded, "Of course."
"You got car crash before, I think the cop already told you,"
"Yes. They've told me,"
"If I may ask, what was the thing you do before you rode the car?"
I paused to think. My mind went blank, I did not remember anything. "I do not know. I can not remember."
He paused before asking me back, "What are your hobbies or things you like when you were a child?" I fell silent. I totally forgot anything. I really did not remember everything. I shook my head, "I do not remember,"
"You must remember the town where you were born, don’t you?"
"London, maybe? I do not know, I'm not too sure," I started to feel pain ran through my head.
"Do you remember who was the first person saw you when you was awake after unconscious sleep for three days?"
I nodded, “Yes. A nurse. She then called you," I said while holding my head.
"Last question. Are you still able to answ
er?" I just nodded. "I went to introduce myself, my name is James Sullivan. You should have told me your name. What is your name?"
I paused before answering. "I don’t remember my name."
The next day, January 3, 2006. Night.
I was pouring water into a plastic cup when the old psychiatrist, James Sullivan, went to my room. He told me to come to his room. He showed the results of my head’s X-rays.
He asked me to sit down, "The results of laboratory checks of yours is out today." From the look on his face did not seem to show me a good results. I wondered, "How did it go?"
He pointed to one of the X-rays. "There is trauma due to impact by hard objects here as well as little bleeding in here." He continued his words, "Based on the results of X-ray and the results of interviews yesterday, you were positive for retrograde amnesia,"
"What disease is that?"
"Retrograde amnesia or backwards amnesia, is the loss of memory or portion of memory before a certain deadline. This type of amnesia is usually caused by brain injury or other acute conditions, where you can not remember events before the accident even longer. Depending on how severe the injury you experienced, you seem got quite severe injuries,"
I paused. So I got an amnesia? "What can I do to recall my past?"
"I'll help you as much as possible. You only have to undergo therapy. Or a surgery if urgent and if we can."
I walked out of the room with mixed feelings surround me. Question after question filled my brain. Are there other people who know that I was not there? If there was, where was my family? What should I do? What if I can never remember my past again? And most importantly, who will pay all costs of my hospital?
I saw the skinny cop that I met yesterday. I asked him, "Can we talk for a minute?" I invited him to sit in a chair on the waiting room. "Are there anything you want to talk to?" He asked me.
"You said my car was on fire, did I bring anyone else at that time?"
He shook his head, "No. You was alone and we have been checked before." I paused for a moment before returning to speak. "You did not try to contact my family?"
He took a deep breath, "The only person who can contact them is you,"
"Do I have identity cards or something left behind the crime scene?"
"Sorry, but it was all burned. I told you yesterday, it's all gone." He continued to talk, "The only person who can remember who you are is yourself. Try to remember, it's all in your mind."
A week later, January 10, 2006
I underwent the therapy session by session well. All hypnosis executed by James was going well for me. But nothing worked. None. It looks like my brain was completely damaged. I've given up, as well as James, even though he did not show his ‘I’m giving up with you’ in his face. I sat in his office with feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety and fear. "I can not remember, none were able to remember,"
He calmed me down, "dDo not force your mind. If you're too pushy, you really can not recall anything. Everything need a process, and let time answer,"
I paused, "Are you going to undergo this therapy to me again?"
"Viewed from yesterday and today result, the result is still zero until now, so I have to say no. But do not ever force yourself to remember it or it'll hurt your brain. I’ll ask another doctor for a surgery."
I stepped outside the room with a weak pace. I feel lousy, hopeless. It has been more than two weeks I was here, and none of my family, even my neighbor came to see me. Was I alone? Did I have a family? Who was I? The only thing that was able to remember was my own name, Emmerich Fischer.
Stephanie
September 20, 2004. Afternoon
I walked through asphalt paved roads towards my house. I always go and return using the school bus, but I also always told the driver to stop approximately one kilometer before my house. I like walking. Walking at the same can be a little exercise for me and get me away from obesity. Besides be able to exercise at the same time, by walking I could extend time. Extend time to get in to my house. I did not like being in my own home.
Time passed, and I have to accept the reality, the bitter truth, that I did not like my home, where I live with my own family. I think the saddest thing was, when you have to force yourself to be in situations or places that have been clearly you did not like it, but you should still be there. I had to endure in spite of my conscience although my heart kept yelling to get away and leave all of this.
My mother worked as a financial consultant while my father worked as a freelance painter and local company employee. They are so busy with their work. I did not have a brother or sister, not a single person in my house who willing to talk when I have a problem, except Sebastian. He was my neighbor, my dearest friend. Our house was only three numbers away. He was always with me when I sad, he was the only person who knows my problem, a problem that even my own parents doesn’t know.
My house was quite large with two floors. There are six bedrooms, but only three people who live inside this house. Even then, not twenty-four hours a day my parents stayed in this house, just twelve hours or more. If everyone left, my house will feel like a ghost house. The thing that makes me feel sad and sick the most was with the presence of our new maid, Daisy. She replaced our previous maid, a widow aged thirty-five years, whose husband died in an accident. My previous maid was fired because caught stealing my father’s money. She also stole my cell phone and put it in the refrigerator. She worked as a maid in my family for about three years. I did not know what was going through her mind while she doing it. And I did not know what has been missing for three years since she worked at my house.
But Daisy, she was young and beautiful, with blond hair and clear blue eyes. She got a body like an hourglass. I’m sure she is able to attract attention of any man she meets. Including my father. Looks like they have a special relationship, and ironically, my mother does not know. Or maybe she knows it but she ignored it. My family was really messed up. I really messed up.
Sometimes I questioning the existence of my own mother as a wife. Does she did not suspect my father or at least do something? Or maybe the worst thing was, she might as well do it out there, just as my father did, having an affair with someone else. I opened my door and saw Daisy in the dining room, preparing dinner. My mother was always home at seven in the evening, who knows what she was doing out there. So the task of preparing a dinner that should have been done by my mom, Daisy did it. Daisy greeted me and offered me something to drink, "Do you want something to drink?" I just shook my head and walked toward my room.
I grabbed my cell phone and tried to contact Sebastian. He answered my call twenty seconds later, "Hello?"
I did silent for a moment. I did not answer or say anything. I cried, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Hello? Stephanie? Are you okay?"
"Can we talk?"
"Sure," his tone turned serious.
"It's about my family. Again,"
"What's the problem? Does your parents fighting again? "
"No. I just hate them,"
"Could we meet now?" We arranged to meet at a park that was located quite far from my house, just to sit together behind bushes whose leaves began to fall and chatting. We always meet there.
He patted me on the shoulder from behind and smiling, "Hey". He also sat down next to me and offered me a can of orange juice, "Want some?" I took it and drank it. It tasted delicious.
"Is this about that woman?"
I nodded, "Yes. That bitch, I want her to get out from my house as soon as possible, but I do not know how to throw her out,"
"Why did not you tell this to your mother?"
"I've been told her, they probably had an affair, but she did not believe me. She said that it is natural that ‘a maid serve his master’. But from what I see, it seems more than a maid who serves his master. I do not know, I do not understand. My mom never learned from her mistakes,"
He embraces my shoulder and kissed my hair, "Everything’s going to be alright, okay? I'm here
to support you. You're not alone,"
I smiled and paused before asking him, "Did you see them too?"
"Yesterday when I was walking outside your house, I saw she kissed your father. And then she saw me after and welcomed me to your house,"
"Totally shameless,"
"Everything will be alright. The important thing now is for you to focus on your studies. After all, you're going to leave them one day, isn’t it?"
"Yes, but I still can’t accept it. She is like a thief who stole things in people's home. Same as the servant before, but this time not the precious things she stole, but the happiness in my house,"
He paused before asked me, “Do you want to go?"
"Go where?"
"It’s up to you. Go for a moment and have fun can make you forget the problems. At least for a while,"
"I wanted to go to a place where you can see the shooting stars in the night and waterfalls as well as the sun sets in the afternoon,"
He smiled at me, "Where is it?"
"I do not know, I just imagining." He cupped both my cheeks and then kissed me on the lips, "Stop grieving. I do not like to see you sad, you know?"
I kissed his lips back, "Will you help me so I can stop grieving?" He smiled and nodded.
"I love you Sebastian."
At afternoon
My parents were not at home when I got home that afternoon, only Daisy. I want to go for a while, I was bored at home. I did not have any relatives, who should I talk to besides Daisy? I was reluctant to talk to her. I went to one of the mini market to buy a can of orange juice and chocolate. Sebastian accompanied me. It was at seven-thirty at night.
Emmerich
January 12, 2006. Night.
I've stayed at this hospital, all alone with no one likely to see me for more than two weeks. Does none people out there who are aware of my absence? Or perhaps realized that I had not seen among them for nearly two weeks? I was getting frustrated, not just because of think about other people and my health, but how to pay the cost. I want to go home, but I did not know where to go.
