I try to fight him, but there’s no use. He overpowers me as usual.
And I sink back down inside of him.
Only this time, it feels like pure torture knowing she’s out there and I might never see her again.
My bear lets out a frustrated huff of breath and returns to the forest.
And I return to living in hell.
Chapter Three
Courtney
“Come on, class!” I holler as the bus pulls onto the ranch. “Time to go!”
The kids are all grumbling as they head to the bus. They had so much fun that they don’t want to leave.
“Thank you so much for coming,” Jane says as she stuffs a basketful of fresh vegetables into my arms. “And again, we’re so sorry for…”
She trails off as she glances at the forest.
“We really hope that poor Gavin wasn’t traumatized,” Zoe jumps in.
“Or you,” Jane adds.
I glance over at Gavin who is telling the story to anyone who will listen. “He was this big!” he says as he raises his hands in the air. “And he went roaaarrrr!”
Sarah’s nose is all scrunched up. I don’t think she’s buying the story. Hopefully, his parents won’t either.
“I’m just glad no one was hurt.” My legs are still a little shaky. I think I need a big glass of wine to calm my nerves. “But, who is it?”
Jane and Zoe glance at each other. “That’s Adrian,” Zoe finally says. “He’s a grizzly bear shifter.”
“I got that,” I say. “But what’s the matter with him? Does he live in those woods?”
Jane nods with a sad look on her face. “Some bears are a little too much for their humans to handle, but Adrian’s bear is on another level. He’s completely feral.”
“Feral?”
She nods. “He’s not good around people, so we let him live in the woods. He’s happy in there.”
Happy? He didn’t look happy to me. He looks tormented.
“I trust that we can rely on your discretion?” Zoe asks with her eyebrows raised.
“I won’t tell anyone,” I promise. “And I don’t think anyone is going to believe Gavin, so…”
“Thank you,” Jane says as she dumps a few more vegetables into my basket. “You guys are welcome back any time.”
The school or me?
My eyes keep darting longingly to the forest as they help me herd the kids back into the bus. I can feel eyes on me, possessively watching me, and it’s giving me tingles all over.
A part of me wants to head back there and talk to him. To see him. To touch him.
I’m being drawn to those dark woods so much that I take a few steps before stopping myself.
Get yourself together.
I’m responsible for a class of kids. I can’t go gallivanting into the forest to talk to the strange naked man.
Even if he was stunningly gorgeous.
I take a deep breath as I remember how he looked. His body was pure carved muscle without an ounce of body fat. Big round shoulders and arms that were pure eye candy. His face was pure beauty—a strong nose, sexy lips, intense brown eyes that were staring at me like no one ever has before.
Heat starts flowing between my legs as I picture the sight of his long thick cock hanging between his muscular thighs. My mouth begins to water as I imagine what it would feel like.
Okkkaaaay, that’s enough.
These thoughts are not appropriate for a kindergarten field trip.
I turn around and head back to the bus, wishing I knew more about this Adrian guy. I want to know everything.
“I was pretty brave, wasn’t I?” Gavin says as he walks with me to the bus.
“You sure were,” I tell him. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t saved me.”
He puffs out his chest and steps onto the bus with his chin in the air.
I take one last glance at the forest, hoping to see him but seeing nothing, before stepping onto the bus to leave.
But every part of me knows one thing…
I’ll definitely be coming back.
It’s a restless night with my hand buried between my legs and the sweaty sheets twisted around me. My back arches as I come hard against my palm.
Adrian is on my mind. I can’t stop thinking and fantasizing about him. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I don’t understand why I’m acting like this.
I drop back onto the mattress, breathing heavily as the warmth flows through me.
But that usual satisfied feeling I get whenever I touch myself is just not there.
I’m more frustrated than fulfilled.
An edgy feeling has taken over, like I can’t sit still. I might not be able to rest until I see that man again.
I try to close my eyes and fall asleep, but that’s hopeless. I feel like I just drank a pot of coffee. My nerves are on edge. My adrenaline pumping.
I keep wondering what he’s doing right now. If he’s in his bear or his human form. If he’s sleeping in the dirt or in some kind of bed. If he’s thinking of me…
“Oh, crap,” I mutter as I get out of bed and throw my housecoat on. I around pace my dark apartment and look outside at the sleeping town. I live alone on the outskirts of Blackcloud Point in a tiny three and a half.
I want to go see him, but that would be stupid. It would be reckless.
And it would be dangerous.
But still… I don’t know if I’ll be able to go on if I don’t.
I spot my sweater hanging on a chair in the kitchen and before I know it, I’m slipping it on and grabbing my keys. I throw my yoga pants on and rush out the door.
I know it’s a bad idea, but I can’t stop smiling. Just the thought of seeing him again is making me all giddy—even though it might result in me being eaten by a vicious grizzly bear.
It’s past midnight and the dark streets look abandoned. There’s not much going on in this small Montana town at night, so I have the roads to myself as I head toward the Bowen ranch.
The moment I got home after work, I rushed to my computer and read up everything I could about shifters.
My heart was pumping when I was reading about what happens when they find their mates—the intensity, the attraction, the fire, the need. It clicked. Everything I read felt like everything I had experienced.
But still, it sounds crazy. It feels insane to think…
That we could be… mates…
I turn onto the street that leads to the ranch and I squeeze my thighs together already knowing it’s true. That’s why I’ve never been interested in other guys. When all of the other girls had crushes growing up, I had nothing.
When it was time for first kisses and first bases… the thought of doing any of that with any of the boys in my class brought nausea instead of interest.
It was because I belonged to him. And he belonged to me.
I turn my headlights off as I approach the ranch. I don’t want to wake anyone else up to explain why I’m here, so I park a little ways away from the entrance to the ranch and step out onto the dirt road.
The air is crisp and cooler than it was this afternoon. I dig my hands into the pockets of my jacket and hurry down the road.
It’s much creepier here at night with only the light from the sliver of moon to lead my way. I stop as I enter the ranch to give myself one last chance to turn back, but I know that’s not going to happen.
The lights are still on in all three cabins, although there’s only noise coming from one. I avoid it as I hurry into the valley.
The forest looks so dark and scary in the distance. It sends the tiny hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck standing straight up, but I head for it regardless.
I must be crazy for doing this. I should have my head checked.
Heading into a dark forest where I know there’s a vicious grizzly bear hiding is pure insanity.
But I’m not that scared. I’m excited and eager. And I have an almost comforting feeling that grows the closer I get to the da
rk trees.
With a deep breath, I duck under the same branch as this afternoon and enter Adrian’s territory.
My pulse starts racing as I stand there, looking around and listening to the owl hooting from somewhere far away.
It’s eerily quiet.
I’m there for a few minutes when reality kicks in and I realize that I made a horrible mistake. What am I doing here? Waiting to get eaten?
I’m just about to turn back when I hear the thundering of heavy paws racing toward me from somewhere deep in the dark woods.
I gasp as I see the trees moving. He’s getting closer.
A part of me wants to run, but a bigger part of me wants to stay and see if this is what fate has in store for me.
“Oh, boy,” I whisper when I see the huge silhouette of a grizzly bear slowly approaching.
The closer he gets, the more I can see. His head is low, his brown eyes fixated on me. I gulp as he lets out a deep huff. A plume of steam billows into the air.
“Please don’t hurt me,” I whisper to him as he comes within a few yards. “I just came to be your friend.”
He stops a few feet away and lifts his wet black nose. Steam puffs from his mouth with every hard breath he takes. His eyes are focused on me as he smells the air. I wonder if he can smell my arousal that’s still on my hand. Maybe I should have taken a shower.
His demeanor is different than it was this afternoon. He doesn’t look as angry or as threatening.
I look into his eyes, really look into them, and my heart breaks when I see the tiredness and torment in them. He looks exhausted. From what, I don’t know… Fighting? Living without me?
“I’m going to touch you, okay?” I whisper.
He flinches when I reach out. I snap my hand back, but then try again, slower, easier as I whisper softly to him.
“I just want to be your friend. Would you like that?”
He lowers his head and lets me pet his cold fur. He grumbles with content as I slide my palm down his soft cheek. His eyes never leave mine.
“This is not so bad,” I whisper to him and to myself.
He suddenly starts shaking and I yank my hand back with a gasp.
I stare with my breath caught in my throat as I watch him phase once again into the naked man that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
His body convulses and then with a rip, he’s there.
Standing in front of me with the most heated brown eyes I’ve ever seen.
Chapter Four
Adrian
She came back for me. I can’t believe it.
I’ve been thinking about her non-stop since she ran out of here. I was worried I would never see her again, that I would die without ever knowing her name, without ever touching her hand.
“What are you doing here?” My voice is all husky and raspy. It hurts to talk. I don’t remember the last time that I used my voice, but it’s been years.
She glances away from me, looking timid, looking like she thinks this might have all been a big mistake. It’s not. It’s the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.
“I just felt… compelled to come back,” she says in a soft beautiful voice that rips the tension from my legs, weakening them. “I don’t know why.”
“It’s because we’re—”
“Mates.” She finishes the sentence for me. “So, it’s true?”
I nod as my throat burns. “It’s true.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, taking each other in, taking the beauty of this moment in.
She’s all bundled up in tight yoga pants and her fall jacket. I’m the opposite—naked as the day I was born. The soft light from the moon is lighting her face in a silvery hue and she looks so innocent and pure that I don’t feel worthy. I don’t deserve anything this good.
“You live out here?” she asks after a while. She looks around at the cold dark trees and a shiver racks her body. “For how long?”
“Too long.”
“Years?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve lost track, but it’s been close to a decade.”
Her eyes widen as she looks at me with pity. I hate that she’s looking at me like I’m some kind of freak. I want her to look at me with admiration and respect, not with sympathy and sorrow.
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “It’s not so bad.”
Her eyebrows raise. She’s not buying it.
“Does your bear always take control?”
“Always,” I tell her. She’s my mate and I can be honest with her. I’ll open up to her and tell her anything she wants to know. “He runs the show.”
“How come he let you out now?”
I take a deep breath of the cool air and a puff of smoke billows out of my mouth when I exhale. “I don’t know. I guess you calm him. He’s not so overbearing when you’re around.”
She looks down at my chest and swallows hard, probably wondering what it’s like to have a feral grizzly bear living inside you.
“You can’t live like this,” she says as her eyes start to water. It breaks my heart to see her tearing up, especially since it’s on my account.
“I have for a long time,” I tell her. “To be honest, it’s all I really remember.”
“But you don’t have to,” she says. “Not anymore. I’m here now. We can change it.”
“My mate has walked into my life. Everything has changed for me now. I’m not sure about my bear, though, and that’s the problem.”
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other as she watches me. I can tell her brain is turning. I wish I could peer inside to see what she’s thinking.
“Come and stay at my place tonight,” she finally says. “It’s nice and warm. I’ll get you something to eat. You can have a hot shower.”
I shake my head, immediately dismissing that idea. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I sigh as I run my hand through my hair. “Because I would never put you in that kind of danger.”
“I’m not afraid of him,” she says defiantly. “I know he would never hurt me.”
“I appreciate it, but you don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“I want to learn. I felt his intentions when I came in here and pet him. He’s not vicious with me.”
“What about your neighbors, though? Who’s going to stop him when your neighbor’s TV sends him into a vicious rampage?”
She exhales as she looks at me with sad eyes. “So, you’re just going to stay out here in the cold?”
I shrug. What can I say? “It’s what I’ve done all these years. Leaving is too dangerous. I don’t trust him around anyone.”
“Do you trust him around me?”
“I don’t even trust myself around you.”
“What do you mean?”
I take a deep breath as I stare at her beautiful face. Her lips are pulled into a straight line and her forehead is scrunched up. Even when she’s worried, she looks stunning.
“My feelings for you are… intense to say the least. If I was a weaker man, I’d tie you to a tree and never let you leave.”
Her lips soften as she looks at me. “It’s okay, Adrian. My feelings are pretty intense too.”
The sound of my name on her lips rocks me. It staggers me. It fills me with a comforting warmth unlike I’ve ever felt before.
“You know my name?”
“Jane and Zoe told me,” she says. “Do you want to know mine?”
“More than anything.”
“I’m Courtney Gibbs. I teach kindergarten at the school in town. That was my class that was here this afternoon.”
“And the kid? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.”
“Not too traumatized?”
“Actually, he quite enjoyed telling the story to anyone who would listen. He felt like the bravest kid in the world.”
“You’re the brave one. You stepped right in front of my bear to protect him.”
“Yeah, well… I didn’t wa
nt to have to call his parents to tell them that he was eaten by a bear,” she says with a laugh.
“It’s no joke,” I tell her. “It’s amazing. You’re a real hero. Not many people would have done what you did.”
She starts to blush and the sight of pink in her cheeks sends a jolt straight to my cock. I try to push the dirty thoughts away so I don’t get hard and ruin the moment.
“Aren’t you cold?” she asks after a while.
“I don’t get cold,” I tell her. “But you look freezing.”
She raises her shoulders and shivers. “A little bit.”
“You should go.”
She steps back, looking hurt. “You want me to?”
“No!” I snap. “I just… It’s been so long since I’ve talked to another person. I don’t always find the right words.”
She steps toward me again. “That’s okay. I’m on your side, Adrian.”
I swallow hard as I wonder how I could get so lucky. This girl is a dream.
“I don’t want you staying out here in the cold dark woods for me. You deserve better than this.” I hold up my arms as I look around at the trees.
“I don’t mind it here,” she says as she steps close enough to touch. She reaches out and takes my hand. The feeling of her soft skin on mine makes my breath quicken. It makes my heart do flips in my chest. “As long as you’re here, it’s pretty nice.”
“Okay,” I say as I hold her hand, not knowing what else to do. “Maybe ten more minutes.”
“If you’re staying here all night,” she says defiantly. “Then so am I.”
“You want to sleep out here?” My mouth drops open in shock.
She nods. “I want to stay with you.”
I look around at my paltry home. I have nothing out here to offer a girl like her and yet, she wants to stay. She’s fucking incredible.
I do have a house on the ranch, although it’s been rundown for years. There’s probably at least a few animals living inside it, so I don’t want to bring her there.
“Wait here,” I tell her. “I’ll be right back.”
She looks around nervously as I drop her hand. “Are there any animals to worry about? Wolves or mountain lions?”
Feral Alpha (The Alpha's Obsession) Page 2
