“I’m surprised you brought us here,” Alec said. “It wasn’t exactly a happy day.”
“I know.” Yalena sighed. “It was an important one, though. That’s when I knew how strong we were. That’s when I knew the whole world could come crashing down and, even in the tornado of that sandstorm, we’d be rock solid. You and I.”
“You’ve spent too much time with O’Donnell,” Alec mocked her. “You sound as broody as his sorry butt.”
Yalena felt her expression fall. As if on her command, the sky darkened into a shade of turquoise. “No, I didn’t. Not nearly enough time.”
The breeze carried the sweet smell of Fian air toward them, but Yalena didn’t begin to question how that could be possible on Earth. Perhaps they’d failed, and Earth was now Nova Fia 2.0. Or perhaps none of this was real or was ever meant to make much sense.
“Are you mad at me?” Flashes of her hand over the RWD came back to Yalena.
“I could never be mad at you for being you.” Alec gave her a small smile. “And you stupidly would always sacrifice yourself to save others.”
Yalena’s mouth wrinkled into an exaggerated frown. “As if you wouldn’t.”
Alec laughed. A hollow, light sound. “What can I say? Your father and his dramatic, flowery teachings must have gotten to me.”
Yalena let the humid, warm air sink into her in one deep breath. “All we have is who we are.”
And Yalena was a leader. Not the annoying “boss” Natalia had always referred to her as, but a leader. Like the commander. Like her father. Like Cooper. Like Chris. Like Eric. It meant someone who didn’t shy away from tough choices. Someone who was able to see flaws and limitations, even their own, and sacrifice anything and everything not to win, but to protect, to let live.
“Do you think this is what death is like?” Yalena wondered out loud. “If it is, then it can’t really be that bad.”
Alec furrowed a brow at her. “Are you kidding? It smells stronger than a candy factory in a fire. It’s a miracle I haven’t barfed all over your jellybean of a daydream yet.”
Yalena scowled at him. “If it’s my dream, and I’m not dead, then why are you being so annoying?”
Sunlight made Alec’s tanned skin sparkle with bronze at the edges. “Even in your dreams, I’m still me.”
“If you’re really you...” Yalena hesitated. She stretched out her bare feet; they touched the dry grass below the swing. “Can you tell me the truth? Would you have stopped me if you’d reached me in time? Would you have stopped the RWD to save me at the cost of Earth?”
Alec reached out a hand and stroked her cheek gently. “I did reach you in time.” Then he draped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her in close, so her face rested below his chin.
Yalena fought the fog that kept the memories of her last seconds locked away. She tried to pluck a feeling from the confused daze. The last thing she remembered was Alec’s strong arms at the small of her back as she fell into oblivion.
“It was too late,” she said, her voice rough with sadness.
“It wasn’t too late.” Alec’s calm tone startled Yalena. He had a talent to be just as maddening as he could be charming. As she watched the spark in his warm chocolate eyes, Yalena recalled the little prick at her arm.
She choked on a small laugh. “Did you inject me?”
Alec’s dimple deepened as he beamed at her. “I got an unsolicited mental break-in that seemed to suggest it was the only way.”
Yalena’s smile spread wider as she thought of the scout. “So, which one did you inject me with—the human or the Fian serum?”
Yalena imagined in the real world she’d pale, waiting for a sentence of life or death, but in the warm safety bubble of her cream-and-peach kingdom with purple-blue skies woven in, she was simply curious.
“Lenly,” Alec said seriously. “I’m a fragment of your mind. I only know what you know. I help you see it more clearly.”
This time Yalena did giggle, but it wasn’t out of joy. It was a mere observation of her own insanity, dressed in Alec’s skin.
“There’s one way you could find out, though.” Alec waited for her to make a face at him. “Blink yourself out of this daze and come ask me.”
“It couldn’t have worked,” Yalena said, directing her gaze back down to the dry grass scratching at her feet without tickling them. “The serum was for humans or Fians. I imagine I would have needed a slightly different formula. Perhaps a mixed one?” She laughed joylessly, just imagining how Jen would scold her for such a scientifically unsupported guess.
“Maybe when he made that call, the scout finally had all information he needed to be sure. Maybe some new information came to light?”
Yalena savored one last long look at Alec’s face. He was her home, her heart, her soul. If this was death, she needed to remember him, before she flickered out of existence. “I think I’m ready.” She willed herself to be. Whether waking life or endless darkness awaited her, she had to face it with her chin held high.
The sweet-scented wind ruffled her hair, swirling everything into a twist of colors again. Through it, Alec’s voice guided her back.
“Wake up, love.” Alec’s gentle whisper tempted her heart to take a beat. “Come back to me.”
Chapter 40. Save You, Save Me
Yalena woke up with a gasp so sudden, it hurt her chest. Through bleary eyes, she saw Alec leaning over her. His arms were still wrapped under her waist, but he had lowered her to the ground.
“Don’t try to speak,” he whispered. “Just ease into it.” She fought to reset her breathing. “That’s it.”
Alec brought her up into a sitting position gently, his eyes never leaving her face.
“What happened?” Yalena struggled to distinguish dream from reality; to speed up her brain so it could remind her what she’d been doing just before. And as her eyes darted away from Alec’s face, it all came rushing back to her.
Bodies lined the ground, their clothes already thinly covered in sand brought by the gentle winds. Most of them were Fian, but Yalena recognized clone uniforms here and there. Grasping Alec’s arms for support, Yalena turned back in her sitting position. She recognized Felix’s body, chin off to the side like he’d been knocked unconscious. Nearby were the rest of his followers, including Robin’s wife.
The RWD had worked. They were all dead. Somewhere deep down, Yalena probably felt relief, but it was buried under a fierce wave of guilt that clenched her stomach.
Yalena pushed herself up so she could stand, only managing to steady herself with Alec’s help. She drank in the image of his face eagerly, fighting a blurred memory of peachy skies and sweet air. “How long was I out?”
“About twenty minutes.” Alec slid his hands down her forearms, until he took her hands in his, making her look at him. “You were breathing, but you scared the living stars out of me.”
Remembering a conversation from a distant dream, Yalena scanned the sand at her feet, until she spotted the syringe gun, loaded with a single vial—glossy, with a thin amber film that remained from the serum.
“The human serum?” Yalena sounded more surprised than she’d expected.
Alec’s palm brushed some sand from the side of her face. “I guess you’re more human than you’re Fian.”
Genetically speaking, Yalena supposed it made sense. She’d always looked human, and the Fians were ‘descended’ from humans too, but she couldn’t help questioning why this had worked. “When the scout wouldn’t give me any serum, I thought it wouldn’t work on me.”
“Me too,” Alec said. “But when you sent Heidi to get him out, something happened. He pushed inside my brain, basically reaping any shred of information about you. I think he did the same to everyone. He must have found something in one of us that made him certain the human serum would work, because he hijacked my mind again and showed me the serum.”
Multiple realizations and conflicting emotions crashed into Yalena all at once. The scout had fought to save her, just as
she’d been desperate to keep him alive. Alec hadn’t fought through the tangle of Fians to keep her from deploying the RWD, he’d fought to inject her. To save her. And the scout had somehow managed to find confirmation that the human serum would work to keep her alive. There was only one person who could have been certain of that.
“Jen?” Yalena croaked with a hoarse voice.
She whirled around again, but trusted Alec to help guide her to the gates of Farsight. Surrounded by a pile of Fian bodies, Jen and Nico lay side-by-side. Eric cradled Jen’s head in his arms, two fingers pressed against her pulse, as tears streamed down his face.
His jaw trembled at the sight of Yalena, but he seemed incapable of expressing relief. “We’re losing her.”
Guilt strangled Yalena’s heart as she drowned in the suffocating, sickening realization that she’d done this. Deep down, she’d thought the hardest part would have been triggering the RWD, having the courage to make the hard choice. But it wasn’t. The hardest part came now that she had to live with the choice she’d made.
Yalena knelt between Jen and Nico as the others gathered around. Alec checked Nico’s pulse and shook his head in silent denial. Stanley helped Adeline limp up next to them, while Natalia and Blaine hovered above Eric helplessly.
“A med team is on the way,” Jea said on the comms Yalena had forgotten she was wearing.
“We’re losing her,” Eric wailed in desperation, but the sound of Jea’s voice had already given Yalena an idea.
“I know what to do.” She moved her gaze from face to face as hope started to swell inside her. “She needs a blood transfusion with my blood.”
“Er...” Jea stuttered on the line. “Are you sure? She didn’t have the last version of the serum. There’s no telling exactly how this compound would react to half-Fian blood.”
“Jen’s serum was similar to the final human serum, right?” Yalena pressed, feeling desperate for more time.
“Yes,” Jea said, “but not as good. It failed the final test of tissue damage.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Yalena said, even though she knew it did. “It’s kept her alive just like the human serum kept me alive. The rest was up to my blood. That’s why I’ve made it.”
The pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. She knew how Jen’s brain worked. The more she remembered about how they’d saved Jea on the Moon, the more certain she grew. “Even a weaker serum has managed to keep her alive, but she needs the blood transfusion now to fight the cell degeneration.”
Yalena sought for Alec, then Stanley, then Eric with her eyes. They stared speechless, until Eric wiped his face with one hand quickly. “Do it.”
Stanley ran back inside Farsight and emerged with a first-aid kit he spread open in front of Yalena. “Are you sure we shouldn’t wait for the med team? None of us knows how to do this.”
Yalena shook her head, fighting the doubts threatening to flood her mind and paralyze her. “We have to act now. I’ll talk you through it.”
Stanley helped Yalena lie down next to Jen. His face was tense, deep lines cutting through his forehead, but he remained stoic.
“Any chance you were a medic before you got imprisoned?” Alec asked.
Stanley gave him a pained look. “No, but I did have to set my own knee in. I’ve got steady hands. Talk me through it, Yalena.”
Despite her heart pounding in her chest, Yalena tried to still her mind and transport herself back to the day she and Jen had saved Jea on the Moon. She recalled the way Jen had hooked her and Jea together with tubes to transmit blood. Yalena relayed everything she could remember to Stanley. She barely felt the prick of the needles, but her vision grew blurry, same as it had on the Moon.
Yalena felt tempted to let go and fall asleep, but Alec’s voice kept her coming back to reality. Alec was the anchor that could always pull her back. With the added hope of hearing Jen’s voice again, Yalena fought harder to remain conscious.
The med team must have arrived, because new voices confused Yalena. Still, the only thing she focused on was the hazy image of Jen’s face, turned sideways to look at her. She might have dreamed it, but she thought she finally saw her lips move just enough to whisper, “I knew you’d make it.”
WHEN YALENA CAME BACK into consciousness, cold wind was blowing through the darkness of the desert outside, slamming against the spaceship window. She was in a med bay on board one of Bako’s Martian Navy ships, judging by the Martian flag on the wall—a mix of the three Martian founding Nations’ flags—Nigeria, Brazil, Australia.
Groggily, she tried to clear her throat, but dark circles danced at the edges of her vision at the mere effort. It reminded her of waking up in the ward after Josie had drugged the entire class with Devil’s Choice. Or of the time she’d woken up on the Moon after saving Jea. Jen had been there both times.
Yalena fought a moan, but saliva bubbled in her throat without making much of a sound at all. She forced her eyes shut tight, squirming, then snapped them open again, willing herself to stay awake. She had to find Jen. Sliding her palm up the mattress, Yalena sucked in a breath and pushed herself up. She swayed out of balance and fell back onto her pillow.
“Yalena, what are you doing?” Jea’s voice surprised her. “Stay down. You’ve lost a lot of blood.”
“Jen?” Yalena croaked in response.
Jea’s face came into view—red-rimmed eyes and ashen complexion, especially when juxtaposed against the fiery orange tips of her hair. “She’s alive. She’s right here.”
Jea helped flip Yalena onto her other side. Next to Yalena’s cot, Jen lay atop a similar bed. She was even paler than usual, with her eyes peacefully closed. Yalena felt the urge to go check her pulse, but another attempt at pushing herself up failed just as miserably as the previous one.
“Do I need to put you under so you can rest?” Jea mused.
With a sigh, Yalena finally relaxed in her cot. “Where are the others?”
Jea patted her shoulder, seeming to approve of her calming down. “Asleep. They waited around for the blood transfusion to complete and for both of you to grow stable. You’ve been out for a few hours. Try to get some rest now.”
Yalena wanted to nod, but her muscles weren’t easily coerced into following her will. All the same, Jea moved on to checking the monitors by Yalena and Jen’s bed, and satisfied, she headed out. “I’ll be just outside this door. Press the button if you need me.”
Yalena tried to swallow away the bitter taste coating her tongue. She watched Jen disappear and reappear in front of her with every blink. Until Jen’s eyelids flickered. She seemed delirious, and she only mumbled “save you, save me” before she was out of it again, but that was enough for Yalena.
She dozed on and off for what must have been a few hours more, each time blinking herself awake with relief at Jen’s face in front of hers. The pang of Nico’s absence twisted her gut, but she fought to isolate that sensation for now. She was so weak, and in such desperate need of good news, that she couldn’t go there yet.
The next time Jen came to, she found her voice. It was weak, but soft. “I knew you could do it.”
Yalena’s heart clenched at the thought that Jen was congratulating her, when Yalena was responsible for putting her in this fragile condition, but ‘sorry’ didn’t even begin to express her guilt. “Save you with my blood?”
“Survive after being injected with the human serum,” Jen whispered. “The rest was a brilliant insight on your part.”
Yalena’s eyes were dry and tired, but she stared at Jen. Jen was alive. “I was simply returning the favor with another one of my unsound theories.”
“And you were right as usual.” Jen hummed to herself for a minute. “That alien friend of yours is something else,” she said at last. “It was like he reaped all the knowledge in my brain. It almost hurt to feel him fumble through my mind.”
“I still don’t understand how he does that—even with humans, who don’t have the vibe.”
Jen made a
feeble shrug. “I don’t think it’s Novofex that enables the telepathic connection. It must be an alien thing.”
“A telepathic connection to other sentient creatures that enables them to communicate with their Queen all across the galaxy,” Yalena guessed. “Mind you, the scout wasn’t just inside your mind. He reaped information, knowledge, memories, from all of you.” Yalena’s brain hurt at the thought of how many people it had taken to save her. “He must have seen in your mind that the combination of human serum and Fian blood would be enough to save me.”
“He’s a hero,” Jen said with a weak voice, as if dozing off.
“We’re all heroes. That’s what he called us, because he saw how we fight to save each other.” Yalena savored the memory of the alien voice in her head. “A planet of heroes. It never would have worked without Eric or you or Alec.”
Jen seemed to be fighting sleep. “Tell me about it. I’d never be alive without you, or Eric or Stanley...or Nico.”
Yalena’s throat constricted, like she was being strangled with a thin cord around it. “Jen...what don’t I know?”
Jen sighed, her expression fading from dreamy into pained. “He loved me.”
“We all love you.” As she said it, Yalena realized the true meaning behind Jen’s words. “Oh. Did you...?”
“Not like that,” Jen said quickly. “I don’t think so, but we always had a connection. He was so easy to get along with, maybe a little cocky at first, but a true friend. It’s hard to admit, but on some level I knew. I knew and I probably didn’t make it easy on him.”
Yalena tried not to drown in the guilt enveloping her. A guilt only too familiar. She’d left Nico to die on Nova Fia two years ago and he’d escaped. He’d told her he understood, but forgiveness was easy to grant once everything worked out. “I can’t believe I couldn’t save him. Again.” Tears stung in her eyes. For the first time since regaining consciousness, she felt the urge to turn away from Jen.
“I refuse to let you harbor that guilt alone,” Jen said. “How do you think I feel? He must have been suffering all this time, seeing Eric and me, and once he finally confessed his feelings to me, I couldn’t even begin to tell him how I felt. I didn’t have time to soften the blow. All I could do, all he asked me to do, was drink the serum and save myself at his expense. That’s how I showed him I respect his feelings—by letting him save me.”
The Hive Engineers Page 28
