by Fanny Burney
CHAPTER LXXXVIII
The kind looks, and determined approbation of the Admiral, gave Juliet,now, courage to address him with a petition for his advice, how shemight arrive most expeditiously at Torbay.
'Torbay?' he repeated, 'why I could send you in my boat. But what,--'his brow overclouding, 'what has a modest girl to do at Torbay?'
Juliet answered, that she should join, there, a friend whom she meant toaccompany to the continent.
Every mark of favour was now changed into disdainful displeasure; and,turning abruptly away from her, he muttered to himself, though aloud,that women's going abroad, to outlandish places, whereby they learntmore how to dizen themselves, and cut capers, than how to become goodwives and mothers, was what he could not uphold; and would not lend ahand to; and then, without looking at her, he sullenly entered his ownapartment.
The disappointed Juliet, utterly overset, was still dejectedlyruminating in the corridor, when she heard the servants of Mrs Howelannounce, that their lady's carriage was ready.
She then recovered her feet, to escape any fresh offence by regainingher apartment.
Her situation appeared to her now to be as extraordinary, as it was sadand difficult. Entitled to an ample fortune, yet pennyless; indebted forher sole preservation from insult and from famine, to pecuniaryobligations from accidental acquaintances, and those acquaintances, men!pursued, with documents of legal right, by one whom she shuddered tobehold, and to whom she was so irreligiously tied, that she could not,even if she wished it, regard herself as his lawful wife; though soentangled, that her fetters seemed to be linked with duty and honour;unacknowledged,--perhaps disowned by her family; and, though born to anoble and yet untouched fortune, consigned to disguise, to debt, toindigence, and to flight!
While mournfully taking this review of her condition, and seeking, butvainly, to form some plan for its amelioration, she heard the potentvoice of the Admiral call out, 'To Powderham Castle,' as a carriagedrove from the house; but ere she had time to lament the mortifyingerrour of her benevolent, though ill judging friend, the approach to thedoor of some other vehicle, announced a fresh arrival; and, presently,all difficulties were absorbed in immediate terrour, as again she heardthat sound, which, of all others, most severely shocked her nerves, thevoice of Mrs Howel.
What could cause this abrupt return? Had she received the directions ofLord Denmeath? Was a new persecution arranged? or,--more horrible thanall,--had means been devized, for casting again the most wretched ofvictims into the hands of the most terrific of her foes?
Tremblingly she listened to every noise. A general commotion, with quickpacing feet, spoke the entrance into the house of sundry servants; and,presently, she distinctly heard the apartment of Mrs Howel takenpossession of by that lady, and by some person with whom she wasdiscoursing.
All now, for about a quarter of an hour, was still. She was then alarmedby a rustling sound, and a single footstep in the corridor: itapproached, stopt, seemed turning back; approached again; and, after afew minutes, she was startled by a tapping at her door.
She shook, she was all dismay and apprehension: she hesitated whether tobolt herself in, or to accord admission; but a second tap bringing toher reflection how short, how futile, how ineffectual would be anyresistance, she turned the key, opened her door, and her room wasinstantly entered.
Often, in the course of her long struggles and difficulties, had Julietbeen struck with astonishment; but never had she known surprize thatcould bear any comparison with that which she experienced at thismoment; when, expecting to see Mrs Howel, or Lord Denmeath; when,prepared for reproach, for menace, and for insult; she saw, as fearfullyshe raised her eyes, instead of all that she dreaded and loathed, allthat she thought most sweet, most lovely, most perfect upon earth, inthe elegant form, and softly expressive face of Lady Aurora Granville,who, with eyes glistening, and arms opening, gently ejaculated, 'Mysister!' and fell, weeping, upon her neck.
Juliet nearly ceased to breathe: wonder, yet incredulity, tookpossession of her faculties, and she knew not whether it were possiblethat this could be reality till the big surprize, mingled with thealmost too powerful delight of her bosom, found some vent in a violentburst of tears.
Tender embraces, fond and open on the part of Lady Aurora, transported,yet fearful and doubtful, on that of Juliet, kept them for some minutesweeping in each other's arms. 'Can you, then,--' cried the penetratedJuliet,--'may I believe in such felicity?--Can you condescend so far asnot to disdain,--disclaim,--and turn away from so unhappy a relation? sodistressed,--so helpless,--so desolate an object?'
'Oh! hush! hush! hush!' cried Lady Aurora, putting her hand upon themouth of Juliet; 'you must not break my heart by such an idea,--such aprofanation! by making me apprehend that you could ever think me such amonster! Did I wait till I knew your rights to my affection before Iloved you? Did I not divine them from the moment I first conversed withyou?'
Folding, then, her white arms around Juliet, with redoubled tenderness,'Oh my sweet Miss Ellis!' she cried. 'Let me call you still a littlewhile by that dear name! I have loved it so fondly that I can hardlylove more even to call you my dearest sister! How you have engaged mythoughts; rested upon my imagination; occupied my ideas; been everuppermost in my memory; and always highest,--Oh! higher than any one inmy esteem and admiration! long, long before this loved moment, when SirJaspar Herrington's letter makes my enthusiasm but a tender duty!'
'Ah! Lady Aurora!' cried Juliet, 'what sufferings are not repaid by amoment such as this! by a blessing so superlative, as thus to beacknowledged, thus to be received, by the person whose virtues and whosesweetness would have made me delight in her favour, had I never wantedprotection! had my lot in life been the most brilliant!'
'Oh hush! sweet sister, hush!' interrupted Lady Aurora, again stoppingher mouth; 'what words are these? favour!--Lady Aurora!--Ah! never letme hear them more, if you love me! What have we to do with such phrases?Are we not sisters? Shall I use such to you? Would you love me if I did?Would you not rather chide me?'
Juliet could only shed tears, though tears so delicious, that it wasluxury to shed them. Lady Aurora would have kissed them from her cheeks;but her own mingled with them so copiously, that it was not possible;and though the smiles of expressive joy that brightened eachcountenance, shewed their sensibility to be but fulness of happiness,the meeting, the acknowledgment, with the throbbing recollection of allthat was passed, so touched each gentle heart, that they could but weepand embrace, embrace and weep, alternately.
'I have coveted,' at length cried Juliet, 'almost beyond light or life,I have coveted this precious moment! When first I heard you named,--youand Lord Melbury,--on the evening of the play, at Mrs Maple's, Oh! whatwere my emotions! my satisfaction, my apprehensions, my hopes, and mysolicitude! When I saw two beings so sweet, so formed to create esteemand love, so innocent, so unassuming, so attractive,--and whispered tomyself, Are these my nearest relations? Is this my sister? Is this mybrother?--how did my heart expand with joy and pride! How did I long tocast off all disguise, all reserve, and cry Own me, amiable beings!sweet sister! loved brother! pure, kind, and good! own your unhappysister! take to your pitying protection the distressed, persecuted,insulated daughter of your father!'
'Ah why,' cried Lady Aurora, 'did you not speak? why not indulge theimpulse of nature, and of kindness? Your talents, your acquirements,your manners, won, instantly, all our admiration; enchanted, bewitchedus; but how wide were we from thinking, at that first moment, that wehad any tie to a mutual regard with the accomplished Miss Ellis! Ourfirst notion of that happiness, though still far from the truth,--wasafter that cruel scene, which must for ever be blotted from all ourmemories;--when my poor brother was urged on,--so unhappily! to forgethimself. The knowledge of that disgrace, from some listening servants,reached Mrs Howel; she communicated it to my uncle Denmeath: no wonderhe was alarmed! Still, however, he told us not the story; though, tostop the progress of what he feared, he acquainted us, that a report
hadformerly been spread, that we had a distant relation abroad; not, hesaid,--forgive him, if possible!--not in a right line related, andnever, by my father, meant to be any way acknowledged.--Oh how little heknew my father! or, let me say, either of his daughters!--But, havingput my brother upon his guard, by suggesting that it was possible thatyou might be this distant and unhonoured relation.--Ah, my Miss Ellis!if you had seen our indignant looks, when we heard such phrases!--Hepromised to seek you himself, and to examine into the affair; andexacted, forced from us both a promise, in return, that we would nevereither meet or write to you, till he had ascertained what was the truth.The unfortunate scene at Mrs Howel's alone made my brother submit; forhe feared misconstruction: and his submission of course included mine.Ah! had you spoken at that time! had you revealed--'
'Alas! my distresses were so complicate! What most I wished upon earth,was constantly counteracted by what most I dreaded! I could not makemyself known to my friends,--in the soothing supposition that such Ishould find!--without betraying myself to my enemy; for Lord Denmeathwould assuredly have made me over to my persecutor. How, then, in asituation so critical, yet so helpless, could I selfishly involve in mywretchedness, my perplexity and my concealment, the kindest andtenderest of human hearts?'
'Frequently,' said Lady Aurora, 'we have considered, and consultedtogether, what steps we ought to take; but the fear of some mistake,some imprudence, some offence, in a point so doubtful, so delicate, madeus always decide that it was for you to speak first. And when I pressedso earnestly for your confidence, it was in the hope, the flatteringhope, that I should prove my title to taking such a liberty. I had not,else, been so importunate, so inconsiderate. My brother, too, actuatedby the same hope, urged you, perhaps, even more precipitately; but inall honour, with all respect; with no view, no thought, but to cementour regard by the ties of kindred. My brother can scarcely yet know ourbeloved acquisition; but Sir Jaspar tells me that he has sent aduplicate-letter to him, with the same precious history that he haswritten to me. Oh, how fervent will be his delight!'
She then related, to the grateful, but joy overpowered Juliet, that shehad herself but just acquired this information, through the letter ofwhich she had spoken; and which had been put into her hands, as she wassetting out for Chudleigh-park; to which place Mrs Howel had, hastily,asked her to set off first, with her maid; promising to overtake her bythe way.
The letter from Sir Jaspar, Lady Aurora continued, changed the wholesystem of her conduct. When she learnt that Miss Ellis, instead of beingeither an adventurer, or a distant and unhonoured relation, was thedaughter of her own father; by a first, a lawful, though a secretmarriage; all difficulty and irresolution vanished. Her first duty, shenow thought, was the duty of a daughter, in the acknowledgment of asister.
She gave orders that her chaise should be driven back instantly toTeignmouth; but, before she reached that village, she met Mrs Howel;with whose woman she immediately changed place; and then communicatedthe interesting intelligence that she had just received. Mrs Howel wasutterly confounded; having either never conceived the truth, or been ofopinion, with Lord Denmeath, that the interest, and the dignity of hislordship's nephew and niece, demanded its disavowal, or concealment. Butwhen Lady Aurora openly protested, that she must instantly address hersister, through the medium of Sir Jaspar Herrington; Mrs Howel, to stopany written acknowledgment, confessed that the young person was atTeignmouth; earnestly, however, insisting that no measure should beadopted, till the arrival of Lord Denmeath, to whom she had already sentan express. But Lady Aurora no sooner heard this welcome news, than,stimulated by conceiving, that her inclinations and her sense of right,were now one, she grew inflexible in her turn; and resolved toacknowledge and embrace her sister, without any other permission thanthe law of nature. Mrs Howel, conscious, Lady Aurora thought, that,should the business take a new turn, from the interference of Sir JasparHerrington, she might, already, have gone too far, was fain to accompanyher back to the lodging-house; and, after giving many admonitions, tosubmit to the irrepressible impatience which sunk the niece in thesister.
Lady Aurora solicited, now, to know for what reason the name of Ellishad been taken; and learnt that, in the terrible perturbation in whichJuliet had parted from the Marchioness, they had hastily agreed upon twoinitial letters for their correspondence; reserving some better adoptionto a consultation with Gabriella. To have used the name of Granville,would have been courting danger and pursuit. But the embarrassed avowalof Juliet, that had been surprized from her at Dover, by the abruptinterrogatory of Elinor, that she knew not, herself, what she ought tobe called; stood, ever after, in the way of any regulation upon thatdifficult point. She had been glad, therefore, to subscribe to theblunder of Miss Bydel, which seemed, in some measure, retaining anappellation, at least a sound, designed for her by the Marchioness; andwhich could not be called a deception, since all who then knew her,knew, also, its origin.
Lady Aurora acknowledged, that, even from their childhood, both LordMelbury and herself had heard, though secretly and vaguely, of asuspected elder born; but not of a prior marriage; and they had oftenwished to meet with Miss Powel; for calumny and mystery, while they hadhidden the truth, had not concealed the attachment of Lord Granville,nor the suspicious disappearance of its object, and her mother.
Innumerable plans, now, varying and short lived, because unsanctioned byany authority, succeeded to one another, of what measures might beadopted for their living together immediately. 'For how,' cried Juliet,'could I, henceforth, sustain an insulated life? How bear to look aroundme, again, and see no one whose kindness I could claim? Oh, how supportso forlorn a state, after feeling every sorrow subside on thebosom,--may I, indeed, say so?--on the loved bosom of a sister?'
Thus, in the grateful transports of sensations as exquisite as they weresudden and unexpected, Juliet, acknowledged as her sister by Lady AuroraGranville; and with hopes all alive of the tender protection of abrother, felt every pulse, once again, beat to happiness; while everyfear and foreboding, though not annihilated, was set aside.
