by Emma Lea
But it felt wrong. The small white lie he’d told her seemed to grow between them and pressed on his chest.
He dropped his head and placed a kiss on her temple before rolling out of bed and pulling on a pair of shorts and his shoes. He needed a run and some space from her to decide what he should do next. He knew he needed to tell her the truth about who he was and let her decide if she wanted to move forward with whatever this was between them. It had to be her decision and he needed to give her all the facts before she could make an informed one.
He started off in a slow jog. The air was cool and it was a nice reprieve from the heat that he knew would come as the sun rose. He’d forgotten his phone and headphones, but it didn’t matter. The sound of the bush as it began to slowly wake was enough. He’d been in twelve different countries in the past year and each one was different and unique but early mornings were always the same. There was something special about that time right before the sun crested the horizon; a hushed quietness that he hadn’t experienced at any other time of the day or night. He breathed in the clear, fresh air and stopped, taking a moment to admire the rolling hills and green pastures bordered by native bush. It was corny and, even as the old Peter Allen song played in his head, he knew that Australia would always be home to him.
“Morning.”
Blake turned to see Grant, the youngest of the cousins come up the track behind him.
“Morning,” Blake replied, falling into step beside him.
They ran in silence for a bit, but Blake felt the questions burning in Grant’s eyes.
“Is this the bit where you interrogate me and ask my intentions for your cousin?” he asked.
Grant huffed out a laugh. “Something like that,” he said.
Blake smiled. “Then have at it. Ask me anything.”
“The thing is,” Grant said, shooting him a look. “I like you. We all like you.”
“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Blake asked.
“Yeah, but we all liked Tanner too, so you can see the dilemma we face.”
“Tanner the ex,” Blake said, his voice flat. “What happened there?”
Grant shrugged and then guided him to the right when they came to a fork in the track.
“No idea. Zoë has kept pretty quiet about the whole thing. It shook her up pretty bad. She left her job because of whatever it was.”
“She left her job? Why?”
Grant shot him a confused look. “Because they worked together. Whatever went down was bad enough that she couldn’t work with him anymore.” There was a beat of silence before Grant spoke again. “You didn’t know.”
“I knew about the ex,” Blake replied. “I knew it had ended badly but I didn’t know that they worked together or that she left her job because of it.”
“She has a new job,” Grant hurried to assure him. “She starts in the new year. She’s pretty psyched about it, actually.”
Blake blew out a breath. “Yeah, I know.” He didn’t think she would be so psyched about the job or him when she found out just who he was and that they’d be working together. He hadn’t actually put it together until right then either. He wasn’t just her boss—or at least related to her boss—they would actually be working together in the same department. Ostensibly sharing the job for a while. Yeah. That wasn’t going to go down well at all. Fuck.
Blake took in his surroundings for the first time and slowed to a stop. Grant looked back over his shoulder at him and stopped as well.
“Where are we?” Blake asked. They were completely surrounded by bush and the rolling paddocks and buildings of Windaroa were nowhere to be seen.
“This is the back trail,” Grant said.
“You didn’t bring me out here to whack me and bury my body, did you?” Blake asked, quirking an eyebrow at the other man.
Grant laughed. “Nah.” He shook his head and grinned at Blake. “But I did want you to know that if you hurt Zoë we could bury your body out here and no one would ever find you.”
Zoë hadn’t let the fact that she’d woken up alone wreck her good mood. She’d had a moment of panic when she first opened her eyes, but it wasn’t long before Blake came through the door in nothing but a pair of tiny running shorts and dripping with sweat.
He’d grinned at her and her worries had fallen away. As much as she’d wanted another go around with him—morning sex was the best—they hadn’t had time. He’d jumped in the shower and she’d finished dressing and the rest of the morning had been a blur.
Zoë brought out the last of the salads for lunch and plonked it on the table under the netting to keep the flies away. Her father and uncles presided over the barbecue, poking at the sausages and steaks with long-handled tongs and sipping from their beers. The rest of her family was spread around the pavilion in little groups and the sound of laughter and happy chatter almost drowned out the Christmas music that played through the speakers the cousins had hooked up.
Cassie came up beside her and put Kaila in her arms. “Please give me a break from this kid. She’s been so clingy today that if I don’t get five minutes to go to the bathroom by myself I think I’m going to have my own tantrum.”
Zoë snuggled her niece close. “No worries, sis. Kaila and I are going to have a great time. She won’t even miss you.”
“Famous last words,” Cassie said before disappearing.
Kaila’s big eyes filled with tears as she looked around for her mother and her bottom lip trembled.
“Now, now,” Zoë said, jiggling her in her arms. “None of that. Mumma will be back soon and in the meantime, you’ve got me.”
Zoë was not exactly a ‘baby person.’ She didn’t get clucky or have the desire to talk to and pick up and cuddle every baby she saw. They were cute and all, but she preferred kids you could actually have a conversation with. When Kaila began to sniffle and prepared to let out a loud wail, Zoë had no idea what to do. She looked up in panic to see Blake looking at her, something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read.
“Help,” she mouthed to him and he grinned, whatever it was in his eyes slid away to be replaced with a sparkle of humour.
“Come here munchkin,” he said, scooping Kaila from her arms and lifting her high.
Kaila’s wail turned into a giggle as Blake zoomed her around like an aeroplane. Soon he had the other kids—Jake, two, and Sybil, eighteen months—tugging at his shorts wanting a turn on the aeroplane.
Her mother sidled up beside her and sighed. “He’s so great with them, isn’t he?” she said as they watched Blake with the kids.
“He really is,” Zoë replied.
It was kind of hot, seeing him with the kids. Even the night before at the bush dance he’d been great with the kids. He hadn’t lost patience with them as they’d climbed all over him and he’d listened raptly to them as they gave him a long list of what they wanted for Christmas. He’d even coaxed the shyest ones in the group to talk and smile for the camera. There was something about him that made people around him happy. He’d even gotten to her; gotten past her perpetual bitchiness that had seemed to be her default ever since ‘The Tanner Affair.’
Julia put her arm around Zoë and gave her a squeeze. “He’s one of the good ones.”
“He is,” she replied as her mother moved away. “And that is the problem,” she muttered to herself.
As Zoë watched the way Blake interacted with her family, she knew that whatever it was that was happening between them couldn’t last back in the city. This wasn’t her real world, Melbourne was. Melbourne and her career. She watched Blake trade insults with her cousins, compliment her aunts and effortlessly join her father and uncles in conversation. Even Grandad Farraday seemed charmed by him. Blake might not have a close family of his own, but he was built for family. The ease with which he slipped into hers and became one of them in a matter of days proved to her that their dreams for the future were different.
Having a family of her own was something that was in the far distanc
e for Zoë. She didn’t even know if she wanted to get married and have kids. Her entire focus was on her career and until she found her footing in her new job and climbed at least three rungs on the corporate ladder, she couldn’t even think about settling down and starting a family.
She couldn’t say the same for Blake. The man in front of her had husband and father written all over him, and it wasn’t at all unattractive. In fact, thinking about creating something like that with him gave her warm, syrupy feelings…feelings that scared the shit out of her. He could derail her plans if she wasn’t careful. It would be all too easy to put her dreams and her career on hold for him, but she’d already done that once for a man and look where it had gotten her. Unemployed and starting all over again at a new company. The next few months were going to be filled with long days and stress as she tried to prove herself and show her new employers that she was worth their investment in her. She couldn’t afford to get distracted, even if it was by a man who made her imagine a life she didn’t even know she wanted.
Cassie relieved Blake of her daughter and he turned to her, catching her eye. She couldn’t help but return his wide smile. He loped toward her and picked her up, swinging her around and laying a big, smacking kiss on her lips.
“Why so serious?” he asked when he put her down.
She forced her heavy thoughts away and took a deep breath. “Nothing,” she said. “Nothing important.” She pressed up on her toes and kissed him again. She still had a few days before this little charade came to an end and she may as well enjoy it while she could. She had a long, cold year ahead of her, she should take the opportunity to bask in the warmth of a man’s affection while she could.
16
“Tell me about these markets,” Blake said as he guided the car into a car park as directed by the local Lion’s Club parking attendant.
They’d paid their two dollars at the entrance to the soccer field and joined the hundreds of other cars that packed the paddock. The sun was sinking slowly below the horizon and throwing hot pink and orange across the sky.
“The Annual Hope Springs Christmas Eve Eve Markets are a tradition.”
“Eve, eve?” he asked, looking at her with a quirked eyebrow.
“The night before Christmas eve,” she replied with a grin.
Blake slung his arm around her and pulled her into his side. They followed the rest of the crowd toward the main street. The roads had been closed off and market tents and food trucks set up in the centre square. The area teemed with people and the air was filled with the sounds of laughter, the strains of Christmas music from the school band, and the smell of fast food.
“And the markets? Who sells what?”
“Well, you’ve got your usual jams, marmalades and lemon butters from the CWA ladies,” Zoë said. “And then there’s the bake off.”
“Bake off?”
“The unofficial baking competition that is hotly contested every year. Haven’t you noticed Mum and the Aunties cooking up a storm over the last few days?”
“I thought that was just to feed the troops,” he replied.
“They’re determined to sell out before Millie Butler this year. She’s pipped them at the post the last two years.”
Blake laughed and she whacked him in the gut. “It’s not funny. These women take it seriously.”
“I suppose the extra cash comes in handy for feeding your family over Christmas,” Blake said.
“They don’t keep the money,” Zoë said, looking up at him. “It’s all for charity.”
“All the stalls give their proceeds to charity?”
“Not all of them. They pay a fee to set up a stall and then they’re free to do whatever they like with the money they make. The stall fee goes to the Lion’s Club. Some of the stalls, like Mum’s, choose to give their proceeds to charity. This year I think it’s Sixty-Five Roses.”
“What’s that?”
“A charity that raises money for research and programs to extend and improve the quality of life for cystic fibrosis sufferers.”
He tugged her a little closer and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Do you know someone with CF?” he asked.
“Knew,” she said, with a sigh, leaning her head against his shoulder. “One of my school friends. She died a couple of years ago.”
He stopped and pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. She tightened her arms around him and he felt her body shudder. Using a finger, he tipped her head up to his and searched her eyes. There were no tears, but he could tell talking about her friend made her sad. He dropped a kiss on her lips, wanting to ease her pain and knowing there was nothing he could do.
She squeezed him tight for a moment and then stepped back, looking up at him with a small smile. “Come on. Mum will never forgive you if you don’t buy something from her stall.”
He lifted his head at a loud scream. “Is that a…”
She followed his gaze and laughed. “That is The Big Zipper.”
“There’re carnival rides too?”
“It wouldn’t be The Annual Hope Springs Christmas Eve Eve Markets without them. They have a side show alley as well.”
“And a Ferris wheel,” he said, looking down at her. “You think we could have a go on that?”
“Sure, but not until we go and see Mum and check out some of the stalls. If you’re lucky, I might even let you win me a stuffed toy at the Ring Toss.”
He kissed her again, unable to resist the smile that curved her lips. He couldn’t stop touching her or having her close. They needed to talk, but he was loathe to do anything to spoil what was happening between them.
After buying two packets of biscuits—jam drops and melting moments—from Julia and her sisters, Blake and Zoë wandered around the rest of the markets, browsing at the handcrafted items on offer. She was particularly taken with a necklace and Blake made a note to come back and buy it for her when she did her stint in the stall to give her mother a dinner break.
Blake won her a pink unicorn, although it wasn’t on the Ring Toss but on the Dart Throw. He bought her a big fluffy cloud of fairy floss and they ate Dagwood Dogs smothered in tomato sauce. Finally she let him drag her on the Ferris wheel. They snuggled close in the small carriage as it slowly ascended to the apex of the big wheel. It stopped, giving them a spectacular view of the markets below them and the wider area of the town.
Zoë shifted beside him and he looked down at her upturned face. She searched his eyes before speaking.
“What’s happening here, Blake?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “I just know that I’m enjoying every minute of it.”
“Me too,” she said, but she didn’t smile.
“I know that’s not what you wanted,” he said, a heavy ball of uncertainty forming in his gut. “But…”
“But what?”
“I really like you, Zoë and I like being with you.”
“Me too,” she said and this time a small smile tilted her lips, but only for a second before it fell away and her eyes got sad. “I just don’t know if we’ll both feel the same when we get back to the city. Being here, amongst my family and away from the pressures of our day to day lives is kind of a false economy, you know?”
He nodded slowly. “I know.” He sighed, thinking about the truth of their situation. A truth she didn’t even know. “There’s something I should tell you—”
She pinched his lips together with her fingers. “Don’t tell me,” she said. “I really don’t want to know…unless you’re married. Are you married, Blake?”
He shook his head, but she didn’t let go of his lips.
“Okay then. You’re not married and you don’t have a girlfriend, right?”
He shook his head again.
“Okay then I propose a new deal.” She let go of his lips and took a deep breath as the Ferris wheel began to move again. She looked out over the view as she spoke. “Let’s just pretend that the
people we are here, in Hope Springs and with my family at Windaroa, let’s just pretend that that’s who we really are. Just for now. Just until we get back to the city. I know things are going to change between us when we get back to the real world, but I don’t want them to change just yet.” She looked back at him. “Deal?”
He searched her face, needing to know that she really meant what she was saying. She looked back at him with clear eyes and he took a breath.
“Deal,” he said, lowering his head to kiss her and seal it.
They made love slowly. The frantic coupling of the night before was gone and in its place was long, luxurious slides of skin against skin and deep, wet kisses that scrambled her brain. Blake was everywhere, filling her senses as completely as he filled her body.
It had been a split moment decision, on the Ferris wheel. She knew that what was between them couldn’t last once they were outside the bubble of the holidays and she’d decided, sitting there beside him with the magic of Christmas swirling around her, that she was okay with it. If she could have him now, just for now, it would be enough. She knew there was something he’d wanted to tell her, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. She’d meant what she said. The people they were here and now was all that mattered. They would deal with the rest of it when they got back to civilisation and their real lives.
Blake rolled them over so that she sat astride him. He rocked up into her, his hands at her waist, guiding her hips as she rode him slowly. She liked the heavy look in his eyes. She especially liked that she’d put it there.
She braced her hands on his chest. It was hard under her palms. Hard, hot and slicked with sweat. His hands glided up her torso to cup her breasts. He rolled the aching tips between his fingers and she tossed her head back and moaned. He knew her body; knew what she liked, knew how hard or soft she liked to be touched. It was almost as if he had the schematics to her erogenous zones.
