Saying, “I’m broke,” or, “I can’t afford to buy that,” is like dropping a log into the river of abundance. Over time, you will inadvertently construct a dam, blocking your own flow. There is no need to reinforce the reality of scarcity by announcing to the universe repeatedly how much you lack in abundance. And if that’s how you truly feel, then you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the results of this inner exercise.
Continuing to follow these six foundational inner exercises beyond the initial 30-day program will help you harness abundance wherever you are, and will inspire you to give more easily and freely. With practice, giving your time, attention, or any other resource will feel as easy as giving someone a smile; you won’t think twice about it because you’ll know the source is limitless, like the sun that offers its light.
The choices we make in every moment dictate the direction of the flow, toward abundance or scarcity, expansion or contraction. Those are our options. Which will we choose? Initially, the easiest choice to make is contraction, because that’s our conditioning. We’ve all heard that it’s good to save our money for a rainy day, and that carefree, frivolous spending will lead to the poorhouse. Expect these internal debates to crop up each time you feel the urge to give. To rebut that argument, remind yourself that if spending “wisely” implies getting a substantial return on your investment, then circulating resources is indeed the wisest way to spend.
You begin to know your life is abundant when there’s minimal stagnation, hoarding, contraction, or feeling stuck. Your personal fortune may rise or fall many times over, but the feeling inside is that there is always enough.
The inner giving exercise will round out the channels of circulation that we began mindfully practicing earlier. The most important step is to move beyond the intellect, which may ask, “What are you doing?” or “Are you crazy? You can’t afford to give that!” and follow your heart, which will highlight the perfect opportunity to give by sending you the signal in the form of an unambiguous urge—one you can’t deny—one that will haunt you for days on end if you attempt to ignore it.
Your heart will race with excitement and you will proceed to give, and give openly, generously, and without expectation of receiving anything in return. Your rebate will come from the universe, right when you need it, so there’s no need to worry about the timing.
Meditation will play a lead role in this exercise, and as you continue to practice daily, you’ll find that several of your most creative ways to give, receive, and express gratitude will show up in your daily meditations or spontaneously throughout your day as a direct result of your meditations.
If you’re short on ideas for how to give, take inventory of what you would like to receive. If you want forgiveness, it’s a good idea to forgive someone. If you want more love in your life, find ways to give more love. If you want employment, help someone else get a job. If you want to be in a relationship, help someone else find love. Spending your time in service of others is as valuable as spending money, if not more so.
GIVING INSTRUCTIONS
Each day, you will practice giving more of your resources, your smiles, your assistance, your time, and anything else you may have. When someone is speaking to you, give your attention freely. Look them in the eyes. Put away your cell phone. Affirm what they’re saying to you. Increasing the quality of your attention will enhance the quality of your interactions with co-workers, friends, partners, your spouse, and children.
During these next five days, tip more than you normally would. Let the waiter, driver, and bellhop know how much you appreciate their service. Maybe even take the time to give feedback to the manager or fill out a comment card offering sincere and lavish praise in those times when you receive exceptional service.
On top of smiling, listening, and tipping well, you’re going to give away something that’s meaningful to you, and you’re going to do it every day. This will allow you to stretch your giving limits quickly and cultivate trust in the understanding that we only ever give to ourselves. Your gift can be in the form of a tithe in church, a donation toward a charitable cause, money for a homeless person, or something that strikes you in the moment. If you feel a slight embarrassment or a financial pinch from the act of giving, then it’s a perfect choice. If you feel nothing, then up the ante.
You can also give away your time by volunteering to help someone unrelated to you. It’s easy to help our children with homework because that’s what we’re supposed to do. But helping someone else, especially a stranger, will build your giving muscle quickly. Resources are good to give away as well. Buying a meal for someone in need, offering a ride for an elderly friend or church member, giving your favorite T-shirt to a friend who always comments on how much she loves it, are all strong displays of giving.
There are many obvious and not-so-obvious ways to practice giving. See what you come up with over the next five days and record what you gave each day and to whom. This is a habit you will hopefully continue as often as possible beyond the program.
If the thought of continual giving scares you a bit, it’s natural. But there’s no need to worry; you won’t run out of things to give away, because remember, you’ll replenish all that you gave away, plus some. That’s how circulation works, and you can now receive these rewards more freely because you’re giving freely.
At the end of each day, record what you gave and to whom, and enjoy the rush you get from circulating all of your abundance!
MORE IDEAS FOR EASY WAYS TO GIVE
• Pick flowers from your garden and hand them out to people you visit.
• Anonymously pay for the coffee of the person in line behind you.
• After dining out, give any leftovers to the homeless.
• Make food for the sick and shut-in at your church.
• Volunteer at the local hospice.
• If you notice someone having a difficult day, say a silent prayer for him or her.
• Offer your professional services for free one day.
• Purchase books for the local library.
• If you see trash on the street, pick it up.
• Share your tire polish at the car wash.
• Give hugs.
OUTER GYM EQUIVALENT
RANDOM ACTS OF GIVING = PULL-UPS
A pull-up is one of the most difficult exercises in the gym, because you’re lifting your entire body weight. Every pull-up recruits muscles in the entire trunk of your body. The first time you may only perform one repetition, but soon you can do two, then six, and before you know it you’re banging out ten full-extension pull-ups. The repetition quickly builds strength in your arms and back, making the once-heavy load feel lighter and easier with time. Your strength in other exercises will also improve. Like pull-ups, the inner exercise of giving uses what you already have to increase strength, and it feels significantly easier with time. In many ways, giving is the centerpiece for sustained levels of happiness just as pull-ups are the measure of a truly in-shape individual.
EXERCISE LOG: GIFT SOMETHING EACH DAY
Day 26
Meditated for five to ten minutes
Listed my five statements of gratitude
Communicated a special thanks to: ______________
Slow down activity: __________________________
I overcame impatience while:___________________
Today’s gift was: ______________________________
The recipient of my gift was: ____________________
Rate my post-giving happiness level:
Very Happy 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Very Unhappy
Day 27
Meditated for five to ten minutes
Listed my five statements of gratitude
Communicated a special thanks to: ______________
Slow down activity: __________________________
I overcame impatience while:___________________
Today’s gift was: ______________________________
The recipient of my gift was: _____
_______________
Rate my post-giving happiness level:
Very Happy 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Very Unhappy
Day 28
Meditated for five to ten minutes
Listed my five statements of gratitude
Communicated a special thanks to: ______________
Slow down activity: __________________________
I overcame impatience while:___________________
Today’s gift was: ______________________________
The recipient of my gift was: ____________________
Rate my post-giving happiness level:
Very Happy 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Very Unhappy
Day 29
Meditated for five to ten minutes
Listed my five statements of gratitude
Communicated a special thanks to: ______________
Slow down activity: __________________________
I overcame impatience while:___________________
Today’s gift was: ______________________________
The recipient of my gift was: ____________________
Rate my post-giving happiness level:
Very Happy 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Very Unhappy
Day 30
Meditated for five to ten minutes
Listed my five statements of gratitude
Communicated a special thanks to: ______________
Slow down activity: __________________________
I overcame impatience while:___________________
Today’s gift was: ______________________________
The recipient of my gift was: ____________________
Rate my post-giving happiness level:
Very Happy 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Very Unhappy
Congratulations! This concludes Phase I
of your Inner Gym workout program.
Proceed to your cool down.
“Everybody wants to get big, but don’t nobody want to lift no heavy-ass weights.”
— Ronnie Coleman
Eight time winner of Mr. Olympia
COOL DOWN
Congratulations! You made it to the end of the 30-day program, and you’ve arrived in your new body—your new inner body.
Before starting the The Inner Gym, perhaps you spent an inordinate amount of time and energy attempting to control your external circumstances in a failed effort to find more increased happiness. Maybe you thought moving locations would do the trick, or breaking up with your partner, or detoxing? And perhaps these changes brought about a temporary wave of joy.
Eventually, we all discover how surprisingly little impact rearranging our external affairs has on our internal state of happiness over the long term—that is, compared to the results of our daily inner work. The outside can never be anything other than a reflection of the strength or weakness of our inner state.
Inner exercising is a practice-oriented practice. The more practice you have, the easier it gets, and the more obvious it becomes that your inner exercises are boosting your baseline level of happiness. Therefore, your inner exercises should remain a non-negotiable priority in your life, along with eating and sleeping, the two activities we all make time for every day.
Of course, this is only the beginning. In addition to feeling happier for no reason, you may notice significant improvements in the following areas:
Less outward neediness
More fearlessness
A greater appreciation for what you have
Less complaining
More connection to your true Self
BE CONSISTENT
Experts say it usually takes around twenty-one to thirty straight days of engaging in a new activity before it becomes habitual. Therefore, I recommend that you continue with all six inner exercises for at least another month. As you practice them repeatedly, they will become permanent fixtures in your daily routine. After a few months, they will remain an integral part of your daily affairs, and you won’t have to think about them much at all—which is the point.
True happiness is a state of awareness that doesn’t require thinking or planning. If you have to consciously choose to be happy, you’re not actually happy. With this workout, you no longer have to play mental tricks on yourself to feign happiness. You now have the mechanics to solidify a foundation of genuine happiness that, once established, isn’t going anywhere.
In the meantime, it’s important to expect life to catch up to your Inner Gym exercises. You’re busy, and you may imagine one day that you don’t have time to hit the inner gym, but you mustn’t believe it. If you’re feeling lazy, remember the small time investment it takes to workout is only ten to twenty minutes of your day. That’s doable, even for people with the busiest lifestyles, even for you. Just decide that you have the time and make it a non-negotiable priority.
Gandhi once said, “I have so much to accomplish today that I must meditate for two hours instead of one.” Feeling as though there isn’t enough time to strengthen your happiness muscles is an indication of inner weakness. It’s so tempting to prioritize future goals and achievements over your inner exercises. Much of it stems from the old conviction that future goals and desires are the “yellow brick road” to happiness. As you’ve experienced in your program, they are not, and your inner exercises will help to keep you anchored in the present moment, where you can continue to create a future that is rooted in the happiness you cultivate today.
As with the outer gym, progress may feel incremental, and it may take a few months before you begin seeing significant results. If you want to stay in top form, you never graduate from needing to exercise. Working out is a strategy, not a tactic. Likewise, strengthening your inner muscles is an ongoing commitment, with eternal rewards. Your workouts have already begun helping you burn your inner fat—that is, rigid attachments to unsustainable or undesirable aspects of yourself. You are now actively engaged in building strong inner muscles, which will yield more confidence, fearlessness, empathy and a higher sense of purpose.
For now, you may continue practicing these six exercises until they are fully ingrained into your daily routine, or if you feel ready to proceed to the next phase, you can find The Inner Gym, Phase 2: Bulking Exercises, on theinnergym.com, where you can begin six new inner exercises over the next 30 days. The new inner exercises will help you continue to fortify your happiness and build on the foundation you’ve established with your first six inner exercises.
Otherwise, stay the course, stay inspired, and I wish you the very best in your Inner Gym workouts. Congratulations again for having completed this first phase of the program and thank you for being a part of this movement.
Please share your experiences with The Inner Gym community at theinnergym.com or on our Facebook page: facebook.com/theinnergym.
END NOTES
i Helliwell, John F., Richard Layard, and Jeffrey Sachs, eds. "World Happiness Report 2013." New York: UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network. 2013. p. 39.
ii Helliwell, John F., Richard Layard, and Jeffrey Sachs, eds. “World Happiness Report 2013.” New York: UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network. 2013. Figure 2.6: Comparing Happiness: 2005–07 and 2010–12 (Part 3), p. 29.
iii Taylor, Jill Bolte. “My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey.” New York, Viking, 2008. p. 183.
iv Basta, Maria , M.D., and George P Chrousos, M.D., and Antonio Vela-Bueno, M.D., and Alexandros N Vgontzas, M.D. “Chronic Insomnia and Stress System.” Sleep Med Clinic. June 2007, pp. 279–291.
v Journal of Clinical Psychology “A meta-analysis of 146 independent studies found that the Transcendental Meditation technique is twice as effective at reducing trait anxiety when compared with concentration, contemplation or other techniques.” Stanford University.1989. pp. 957–974.
vi Puff, Robert, Ph.D. “Meditation Will Make You Smarter (And Happier).” Meditation for Modern Life. September 15, 2013.
vii Atasoy, Ozgun. “Your Thoughts Can Release Abilities beyond Normal Limits.” Scientific American. Augus
t 13, 2013.
x Leone, Shakaya. “Gratitude: The Secret Beauty Elixir.” Aspire Magazine. 2011.
xi Algoe, Sara B., and Baldwin M. Way. “Evidence For A Role Of The Oxytocin System, Indexed By Genetic Variation In CD38, In The Social Bonding Effects Of Expressed Gratitude.” Social Cognitive Affective Neuroscience, 2014.
xii “Rocks Are Melting: The Everyday Teachings of Swami Brahmananda Saraswati. Jagadguru Shankaracharya and Jyotir Math,” 1941-53.
xiii Leas, Connie. “The Art of Thank You.” MJF Books. 2002. p. 80.
xiv Long, Charles H., and George Braziller. “Alpha: The Myths of Creation.” n.p. 1963.
xv Kokkinos, Alexander, and Carel W. le Roux 1, and Kleopatra Alexiadou, and Nicholas Tentolouris, and Royce P. Vincent, and Despoina Kyriaki, and Despoina Perrea, and Mohammad A. Ghatei, and Stephen R. Bloom, and Nicholas Katsilambros. “Eating Slowly Increases The Postprandial Response Of The Anorexigenic Gut Hormones, Peptide YY And Glucagon-Like Peptide-1.” 2010 Jan; 95(1):333-7. doi: 10.1210/jc. 2009-1018. Epub 2009 Oct 29.
xvi Radach, Ralph, and Alan Kennedy, and Keith Rayner, eds. “Eye Movements and Information Processing During Reading.” European Journal of Cognitive Psychology, 2004, p. 16.
xvii Sassler, S., Addo, F. R., & Lichter, D. T. “The tempo Of Sexual Activity And Later Relationship Quality.” Journal Of Marriage And Family. 74. 2012. pp. 708-725.
xviii Oxford Brookes University, “Stress Management.” n.p. n.d. https://www.brookes.ac.uk/student/services/health/stress.html
xix Buscaglia, Leo. “Born for Love: Reflections on Loving.” n.p. 1992.
xx Marques, Joan F. “On Impassioned Leadership: A Comparison Between, Leaders From Divergent Walks Of Life.” International Journal of Leadership Studies. 2007. pp. 98-125
xxi King, Martin Luther, Jr. “Drum Major Instinct.” An adaptation of the 1952 homily ‘‘Drum-Major Instincts,’’ by J. Wallace Hamilton. February 4, 1968,
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