by K R Leikvoll
I could hear Lydris' voice echoing in my head over and over.
"I bet Kirin wishes he could do this."
I pulled my balled fist away from Kirin as if he were a venomous snake and buried my face into my dress. It was so hard to fight the emotions.
"Don't cry," Kirin's voice whispered softly. "Let's move on from this. What happened next?" He folded his hands back into his lap emotionlessly. I tried to smother the thoughts, but I couldn't. The torture had been far worse than being violated as far as physical agony. My consciousness blended the knives and his touch together in an attempt to drive me mad. It was a seamless void of empty pain.
"Lazarus told him she would kill him if he didn't tell her where the temple was," I said, removing my face from my dress. "He said something about Light's Peak; I can't remember what it was, though."
Kirin's brows were furrowed in deep thought. He was concentrating on the horizon behind me, lost in his own mind. I didn't care. I didn't really want to talk anymore. My consciousness was still recovering from reliving the stone prison. My soul was filled with a strange homesickness.
I didn't miss home in particular. It wasn't really Earth I yearned for. It was James. It was the home in his company. I tried to tell myself over and over that he wouldn't be waiting for me in my bedroom. He wouldn't be there. There was no more James. He was dead and gone. The whole reason I jumped was to free myself from the pain of his absence. If I went home, what would I even do? It didn't matter. I was damn to Praetis forever it seemed.
The buzzing of the blood pulled me to my feet. No more standing around. Let's get on with the bullshit. I dusted off my dress and started in the direction of the planet.
"Val?" Kirin called after me. I kept walking but didn't last too long. He ran a few feet after me and grabbed me by the shoulder. "Where are you going? You need to rest."
"I was in a coma for a fucking week. I don't need to rest," I hissed back at him, trying to continue walking. His hand dug in hard and held me still.
"That's not what I'm talking about. You are sick. You need to rest for a moment and eat," he said sharply. I didn't feel sick. I felt like running.
"Get off of me," I said, trying to shrug his arm away. "I'm not hungry."
"Yes, you are, stupid girl! You are starving in fact! Now sit the hell down and eat your food," he said finally raising his voice. He roughly pushed me back to where his belongings were and forced me to sit down.
I looked at my fistful of jerky. Nothing seemed more unappealing than eating food. Wandering thoughts brought me to Kirin's blood. I almost craved it. My teeth picked at a piece unenthusiastically. Chew, chew. Forced swallow.
"Meat is so barbaric, isn’t it?" a voice whispered to me.
Black clouds floated slowly around me and Kirin. They danced around my feet before forming the being from eternity. My first reaction was to glance around frantically. That asshole only showed up when I was in danger! Nothing. Just us in the field.
The being from eternity leisurely strolled behind Kirin. I gasped and held my hand over my mouth. My eyes went between them back and forth in distress.
"You will find the sweetest wine," his voice whispered in my ear as he rubbed his translucent armored hand on Kirin's cheek, "is the blood of your beau."
Kirin looked up and noticed that I was glancing around oddly. He turned his head and peered over his shoulder.
"What's wrong?" he asked, turning back and studying me curiously. I was staring at the being through my peripherals. I could see a white smile as the smoke started to disperse.
I swallowed hard. I hadn't mentioned the being to anyone successfully. I was curious about his presence, but the fact that nobody else could see him was an oddly familiar situation for me. Once again, I was the crazy girl. The being had done nothing except taunt me. Unlike James, he seemed to be legitimately not present.
"Val!" Kirin yelled, clapping his hands loudly.
"Do you ever hear voices?" I asked suddenly. He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes... do you?"
"Who do you hear?" I continued, forcing myself to chew on the jerky. I grabbed the flask from the ground as casually as I could manage despite my nerves. Touché, he probably wanted to tell me about his just as much as I wanted to tell him about mine—which was not at all.
Kirin started rubbing dried blood from his sword with a piece of cloth. He seemed to be deciding on an answer. The blood confused me; he must've been in a fight while I was out. An amusing thought: him fighting while I slept helplessly in the background. I took a swig of water and forced myself to swallow it.
"The Void Lords and my demonic master," Kirin finally replied. His sterling eyes flickered toward me. I could see a question forming on his lips.
"The Void Lords?" I asked, genuinely curious, before he could say anything. The mention of him having some sort of master genuinely piqued my interest. He was a pretty self-serving person. I couldn't picture him bowing down to anyone.
"Nakarius the lord of Wrath and Violence, Azmordius the lord of Lust and Heresy, Valorius the lord of Gluttony and Greed, and Baelarius the lord of Fraud and Treachery," Kirin responded. I had heard the name Nakarius before.
"Who is Nakarius? They mentioned him," I said as I chewed on another piece of gamy jerky. Kirin sighed and set his sword down.
"The Void Lord that wishes to consume my planet. The creator of the chaos you've seen," he said mournfully.
I didn't know his backstory that well, but given the fact that it was just us, it was safe to say that he lost a lot more than those close to him. He really had almost lost everything. Praetis was barely holding off the darkness threatening to turn the place into a wasteland.
"And who is your demonic master?" I asked trying to change the topic. Kirin looked even more bothered by that question. Perhaps embarrassed. It intrigued me. Who does the mighty King Kirin bow to?
He reached for his personal flask from his bag and poured wine into his impatient mouth; I guess he was never going to run out. Damn, it had to be juicy though if it was enough to make him want to forget.
"Guinevere," he said eventually. His face reflected what must have been thousands of memories buzzing through his head.
"Is she alive?" I knew I was probably hitting a sore spot, but whatever. If he was going to force me to sit there when we could be making progress, he could at least participate in some conversation. After all, he made me relive the event with Lydris. It couldn't be worse than that.
"Very much so," he replied with distaste.
"What's she like?" I asked, swallowing the last bit of the jerky. I showed Kirin my empty hands so he could confirm I ate it. I didn't really need to tell him, but since he seemed so concerned about my wellbeing…
"There isn't a word to describe how awful she is."
"You should try."
Our eyes met. He could tell I wasn't going to let him give me the silent treatment.
"She is a selfish, possessive succubus. My father sold me to her for the castle," he said, taking another drink.
"You were sold as a slave?" I tried to clarify. He laughed bitterly.
"In a way. Guinevere convinced my father to arrange our marriage in exchange for some large amount of wealth. They gave me to her and let her drag me across the ocean," Kirin answered. Another swig. Two wives? Oh, man. It was like a Praetisian reality TV show.
"So you've been married twice then?" I inquired. He shook his head.
"No. It was her plan to force me into it eventually, but not before she put me through the Dark Sacrament," he said with hatred layered in his voice.
"Dark Sacrament?"
"It's how 'greater' demons are created. A demon, such as ones like Lazarus or myself for example, can perform a ritual on another being to change them. This binds them forever to the Void Lords and the demon that gives the curse," he explained. "Guinevere made me what I am."
"Well at some point you thought demonic power would be nice. Why else would you do the Dark Sacrament?"
"This was during the time when Praetis was merely whispering the word 'demon'. Hundreds of years ago. Guinevere was within the first generation of demons, and she picked me to be her one and only. I didn't choose it; she chose for me. I manage to escape her for long periods at a time, but she always comes back around to ruin my existence."
I wondered silently if she was going to be paying us a visit any time soon.
Kirin finished off his wine and tucked it back into the bag. He picked up my flask and returned it as well. Maybe he was ready to leave now?
Nope. He pulled his cloak off and spread it on the ground.
"You can sleep on that if you wish," he said and laid back down on the grass.
"I already told you I don't need to rest."
"Yes, you do."
I sighed. There was no winning with him. I crawled over to his cloak and sprawled out. There was a slight breeze, mildly chilly compared to the muggy air, but not cold enough for me to want to huddle in the furs. The sky had gradually darkened signaling night time. I was feeling way too energized to sleep. Kirin, meanwhile, was scanning the brilliant white stars. His hands traveled to Alex's bow that was sitting with his things. He hugged the bow into his arms, never taking his eyes off the sky.
"How long did you know her?" I asked quietly. Part of me had still been hopeful she would show up and surprise us, but I knew inside that she was gone. The thought filled me with emptiness. I barely spent any time with her, yet I felt as though she was the only person in my life besides James that had loved me unconditionally. She took me and my brother in. She cared for us more than Eve ever did.
"She was six when I first met her…" Kirin whispered. The sadness in his voice was fresh. "Wide eyed, special girl. I never guessed she would end up being my closest friend."
I watched a singular tear roll down his cheek. I didn’t think he was capable of feeling anything beyond anger.
"After my father died, I was expected to inherit the hold. When I returned from Evya across the ocean to bury him, I was called to the Capitol by the High Emperor. They needed someone to protect the southern cities and thought I was the person to do it. The Emperor's wife, the Divinus Evelynn, had just given birth to Eve and was expected to pass. Alexandra was the only person in her lineage to not inherit the ring as the first born. She was so small then—already had the heart of a warrior. She didn't need to be the Divinus.
"She would follow me through the palace and tell me how she was going to grow up and slay demons, didn't trust me to be alone at any time. I took her on as an apprentice when she got older and begged me enough. She wanted nothing more than to prove her worth to the world that told her she was useless because she didn't have white hair like her mother or sister. I never deserved her. Not as an apprentice, nor as a friend."
His hand dropped the bow limply. He closed his eyes and inhaled the passing breeze. It chilled me enough to shiver. I pulled his cloak around me tightly.
"At least she's free of this hell," I whispered.
"At least she's free of this hell."
Chapter Seventeen
At some point during the night I managed to fall asleep. The last thing I remembered was watching the white stars while I contemplated my situation. My conclusions weren't good enough. I wanted to go home, but I knew there was nothing waiting. Life on Praetis was apparently completely resting on Kirin's and my shoulders. Lots of pressure.
The stars were still staring back when the stiffness and soreness of my body roused me. Surprisingly, considering the previous day’s events, Kirin was asleep, trusting me not to run away. I had a flashback to what happened last time I tried to wake him up and decided not to. He would probably attack me again. At least I wasn't too worried about him being sucked into the Void; I'm sure that it wouldn't sound like his semi-peaceful snoring.
I sat up gradually. Sleeping on the ground was absolute bullshit. I was sore from traveling in general, let alone not having a decent night’s rest. I missed Kirin's massive bed. Even a damn pillow would’ve been nice. I had to use my arms to avoid lying entirely on the ground. I'm not sure how Kirin did it with absolutely no issue; he was sprawled out like he was comfortable.
My stomach growled. I wanted that jerky from before—really bad. Maybe Kirin was right. I pulled open our only bag and rummaged around. The wine wasn't endless, as it turned out. Kirin had three more tins he was hoarding for himself. There were leather strips, various things like arrowheads, a few daggers, a map and a small paper package. I pulled the package out and did my best to unwrap it silently. Luckily, there were four more strips of jerky.
I rationed it to myself and pulled out a single piece. It didn't taste bad that time. Gnawing on it made me realize how hungry I actually was. It was probably a good thing that my stomach had shrunk so much since I'd been there. It only took a piece-and-a-half to fill me to the point where the stomach pains were tolerable.
Kirin woke when I was putting the package back into his bag. He sat up startled for a moment before he recognized where we were. He rubbed his eyes.
"How long have you been up?" he asked, holding his face.
"Not long," I mumbled in response. I was still sleepy myself, but it wasn’t like I wanted to rest any longer than we had to.
Kirin stretched out before climbing to his feet. He pulled his cloak off the grass and dusted it off. I took out the map in his bag as he adjusted his clothes and traced the thin line that marked a path to Himmel in the north. Where we were, I assumed, was simply referred to as "the Valley." In the mountain pass we were headed toward was a town labelled "Ruins of Whitecrest."
"Is this where we're going next?" I asked, pushing the map into Kirin's hands. I jabbed my finger at the town.
"Whitecrest, yeah," he replied, cracking his back.
"It's a town, right?" I asked verifying with the map legend.
"The ruins of one, at least."
"Sounds like the perfect time to get new clothes," I said, tugging uncomfortably at my blue dress. Kirin and I started walking toward the mountain foothills.
"Are you sure you can't just wear that?" Kirin complained.
"Not if you want me alive," I replied simply. He rolled his eyes in response.
We walked all day mostly in silence. I spent the time watching the sky and mulling over my situation some more. There were no special answers I could come up with. I could embrace the suck or I could keep whining. Besides the inevitable fire, the demonic power was kind of cool to use. It made me feel like I was some sort of superhero. If I could control it better, I'd be using it a lot more, too. The thought of mastering both demonic power and the ring was exciting. Maybe I'd end up being better than Eve and my mystery father.
As we approached the mountain pass, the environment and atmosphere changed almost instantly. After the last hill, all that lay before us was the stone wreckage of a moderate sized town—only it had a giant bubble surrounding it. It was sickly green and hung in the air like smog. I couldn't smell anything yet, but it looked like toxic waste. Kirin cursed when he saw the state it was in.
"I was hoping for fewer interruptions," he said with an annoyed sigh.
"Think there's demons?"
"Do you not see the green smoke? I think it's obvious," Kirin replied, rolling his eyes. I held back the urge to smack him.
"Listen! You don't have to fight it alone. I can help," I said matter-of-factly. The idea terrified the absolute shit out of me, but I was itching to try using my abilities again.
"I don't think it's good for you to be using demonic power. If we fight, we'll both have to sacrifice," he said, rejecting the idea.
"If you don't almost kill me again it should be more manageable," I replied coolly. He gave me a genuinely apologetic look that lasted a few seconds.
"I don't know if it's a good idea. I don't think I should be encouraging you. The darkness is a steep and slippery path that will take you. There's a reason the light
stays abstinent from such things."
"And guess what? I'm not just the Divinus, I'm the Nephilim. The same rules don't apply to me!"
"Since when are you an expert on being the Nephilim?" he asked with a mocking smile. "I have more experience with the darkness than you. Don't try me."
"So? Show me how to use it! If I can blow stuff up and sacrifice with your blood, we could win every fight!" I tried to reason with him.
"First off, I already told you the darkness is risky. Secondly, you're assuming you can use my blood. Doesn't that bother you, stupid Earth girl?" he asked, getting agitated.
"You didn't have a problem with it before. Why now?" I replied curiously. He stared at me intensely.
"I can see the effects of it on you already. I don't want to see you follow the path of demons," Kirin said finally. "The darkness will make you crave power. There's too much at stake to risk losing our only chance at winning this."
"Yeah, well, leaving me to be useless is just going to get us both killed. Besides, I'll tell you if I start to feel like Lucifer."
An echoing howl filled the valley. Kirin glanced in the direction of the city and back at me. Letting out yet another aggravated sigh, he pulled me in front of him and made me open my palms toward the sky.
"Think about something you hate… the most wrathful memory you can," he said, mimicking my position. Red flames flickered into his palms after only a moment. "In battle, it's easier because of the high stress environment."
Think about something I hate? There were a lot of things I hated, but none sparked the darkness. I thought of the first time I had used the demonic power back at the castle. James' death crept back into my mind… our last moments together. I had the ring; could I have saved him?
Black flames erupted toward the sky in my hands. The sensation was invigorating. I was so in awe of what I was doing, I forgot about my sorrows. The fire faded. I waited nervously for the desire to sacrifice, but it didn't come. A huge relief.
