“I hacked into your file,” he admits.
I put my hand to the base of my throat. I shouldn’t be surprised that he hacked into it, but I still don’t like it. “Can you… not tell the other guys who my parents are?”
He nods, his eyes widening. “I don’t get why you wouldn’t want them to know you’re a freaking Villareal. They might be nicer to you if they knew. And you know you won’t be keeping it secret forever.”
He’s right, but I still want to keep it a secret for as long as I can.
“I want them to like me for me, not for my family.”
“They will never like you, Roxy.”
His words make me flinch, but I know they’re true. West, Alek, and Kal will never like me, not even a little. Alek and Kal might flirt with me because they like to flirt, but they’d flirt with anybody who is female and semi-attractive. West, on the other hand, has never looked at me with anything except disdain.
I think about this morning, when he was checking me out in my workout gear. I understand now that he wasn’t looking because he’s attracted. He was looking because he’s disgusted. He really does think I’m this ‘Princess.’ That couldn’t be further from the truth.
I was raised as a Spy School agent. I’ve trained since before I can even remember. That is just my life. Fixing my hair or painting my nails doesn’t have anything to do with my skills, and I hope they can see past that.
“What are you hacking?” I nod at his computer.
“I found out about this secret Russian agency and I’m reading up about them. I can’t decide if they’re good or bad.” His entire face lights up when he talks about it. “Basically, I’ll just gather all the information and send it to Michael Sinclair. In the end, he is the one who decides if it should be looked into.”
“That’s cool.” I chew nervously on my bottom lip as I watch him. I don’t know why, but I want Ian to like me. I figure if anybody on the team is going to like me, it’s going to be him. Maybe if I become friends with him, my time here won’t be so miserable.
He doesn’t respond, he just goes back to working on his computer and silence falls over the room again.
I sigh, looking at my own computer.
Part of me misses Spy School. When I was there, at least I had friends. Tonight, I would be hanging out with somebody and not be miserable. I know that I should be more excited—I’m a freaking Royal now. But instead, I have this aching in my chest that just won’t go away.
I hate even admitting it to myself, but I wish I had been invited tonight. I was wrong—I do want to hang out with people who hate me. I want it so badly I can hardly stand it. I just want to be accepted and liked. Is that so hard?
“Roxy, you seem like a nice girl,” Ian says, not looking away from his computer. “But you know that we can’t be friends, right?”
His words feel like a knife to my heart. I swallow the lump in my throat, nodding. I don’t think I could answer out loud right now if I tried.
“The other guys are right, you are bad for our team.”
“How am I bad for the team?” I hate how my voice quivers as I ask the question. I’m on the verge of tears, only proving that I am the sensitive ‘Princess’ that Ian thinks I am.
“Look at you.” He glances at me from his computer, waving a hand at me. “Alek already wants to date you, and I’m sure Kal does, too. And once they get over the fact that you’re on the team, they’re going to like you. You’re nice and kind of easy to like. It’s just going to cause problems.”
I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered.
“I’m not going to date anybody.” Especially not anybody on our team. That would be inappropriate.
“You say that, but I know Kal. He could talk a nun into dating him. And Alek... well, he doesn’t have to sweet talk anybody. As soon as girls hear his accent they swoon.” Ian sighs. “I just think it would be better for everybody, including yourself, if you just left.”
I stare at him, my heart beating so hard that it’s hard to even catch my breath.
“You want me to leave?” My ears are ringing as I ask the question.
He nods. “Yes. You should leave, Roxy.”
My stomach tightens, like I’ve just been punched in the gut. I shake my head back and forth, trying to come up with something to say. Anything. But what can I say? He’s made his opinion on the matter very clear.
“I don’t want to leave,” I admit.
“Dang it, Roxy. Just leave. Nobody wants you here.” Ian’s face turns red as he raises his voice.
I don’t know how to respond.
Ian is the nice one—the soft spoken one. If he thinks I should leave, maybe I really should.
Tears press against the back of my eyes, so I shut my computer and go toward my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I fall face first into my bed and I sob into my pillow.
I hate crying and I hate feeling weak, but what can I do? Ian has made his stance very clear, and I doubt I can change his mind.
The unwanted spy.
I pull my large, hot pink suitcase from the closet and I sit it on my bed. I open my drawers about ten times, and then I shut them again. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to make myself pack my things.
I know what I should do. I should fill my bags, and I should leave.
I’m always unwanted—the unwanted daughter, the unwanted teammate. It seems like maybe I’m just an unlikable person. But then I remember what Ian said between all his hurtful words.
‘You’re nice and kind of easy to like.’
Why would he say that? He was going off on me and telling me that the team would be better off without me. So why take the time to compliment me in the middle of that? Was he just trying to let me down easy because he’s a nice guy?
I sigh, closing my suitcase, and I stuff it back into my closet.
I am not leaving. There is no way I’m going to let two bad days run me off. I’ve worked entirely too hard for this to quit now. West, Alek, Kal, and Ian are not the first bullies I’ve encountered in my life, but they are the first I’ve ever let get to me. Usually, I put bullies in their places. So why am I letting these boys walk over me?
I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am. My whole life has been dedicated to becoming a Royal. And those boys, the ones who bully me, they are the reason I’m even on their team. At least one of them voted for me. Maybe they’re keeping quiet because they don’t want the other guys to know, but somebody here likes me. I will figure out who because I’m definitely sticking around to find out.
Maybe it really is Ian. Maybe he just changed his mind after seeing how his team has reacted to me. In his shoes, I wouldn’t want to admit it either—to be the one who brought all the fighting and drama into their life. But it’s not like I did it on purpose. I don’t want them to hate me. In fact, my life would be easier if they just liked me, but I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon. They won’t even give me a chance.
But Ian... I can’t let him talk to me like that anymore. I refuse to let him bully me into leaving. It doesn’t matter if he voted for me or if it was one of the other guys. The fact is, I am part of their team now, whether they like it or not, and I’m not going anywhere.
With determination, I walk out of my room. I find Ian sitting on the couch, right where I left him. It’s where he spends most of his time when he’s not training, sleeping, or eating.
I clear my throat to get his attention and he turns from his computer to me.
“What do you want?” His tone is harsh, but I don’t let that bother me.
“You are a jerk, Ian Kessler. But I am not going anywhere. I will stay right here, if only to annoy you every single day for the rest of your life.” I stand up straighter as I say it, unable to stop my grin. “And if you don’t like it, you can kiss my butt.”
“Is that it?” he asks.
I nod. “I believe so.”
“Okay.”
He turns back to his computer and begins t
o type again, but I swear a small smile plays at the corner of his lips.
I really don’t understand Ian. Or men in general. But his reaction surprises me. He doesn’t even try to yell back at me. He just goes back to hacking, like we were talking about the weather or something. He’s completely unaffected. Meanwhile, my hands are literally shaking from that.
I step out onto the balcony, needing some fresh air. The sun is setting behind the building, so there is a shadow cast over the water from the condo we’re staying at. I notice a coconut tree in the distance and I wonder if we’re allowed to get a coconut from it. I’ve never had a fresh coconut before, but it sounds nice.
I sit down in one of the patio chairs, putting my feet up on the ottoman. The sound of the waves crashing into the shore is loud, but soothing. The house that I lived in from the time I was ten to about fourteen was close to the ocean and I could hear the waves as I slept at night. That house was always my favorite, just because my parents were gone most of the time. They were always working, so I got to be home by myself. It was nice. That was the first time in my life that I ever felt truly happy. I didn’t have to fear my mom’s wrath and I didn’t have to hear my parents argue while I tried to sleep at night. It was just me and the tutor slash nanny they hired. But even she would leave me alone at night.
Those were simpler times. Back when I dreamed of becoming a Royal one day. Back when I thought Spy School was this magical place that would solve all of my problems. I thought Spy School would make me happy, but it didn’t. And joining The Royals definitely didn’t make me happier.
My mom always told me I wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle. She called me too soft. And maybe she was right in some ways, but I won’t let her win this, just as I won’t let the guys scare me away from this.
This is my legacy. It’s what I was born to do. And I meant what I told Ian. I’m going to stay and fight.
A peace settles over me at my decision, and I know that I’ve done the right thing.
Eventually, I will prove to West, Alek, Ian, and Kal that I am good enough. Someday, we’ll be a family. Until then… I hope we don’t kill each other.
She can have him.
A loud thump wakes me up in the middle of the night. I glance at the clock on my wall and see that it’s just after one in the morning. I check West’s bed, but feel stupid for doing so. He’s not sleeping in here. He would rather sleep on the couch than sleep in the same room as me.
I push myself out of the twin bed, throwing my fluffy white comforter aside. I grab my gun out from under my pillow and I tiptoe to the door, my heart racing.
Somebody definitely opened the front door and they weren’t quiet about it. But I don’t know how soundly the guys sleep. Did that wake them up? Still, I’m not going to cower in my room if somebody has broken into our condo. This place might be small, but it’s my home for the time being. I will protect myself.
I open the door very slowly, keeping my gun out in front of me in case I need to shoot. The door opens without even a creak and I walk into the small hallway. I look toward the door first, but it is shut. It doesn’t look like it was forced open. I freeze when I hear the sound of… giggling. It sounds like a girl.
Upon further investigation, I see that somebody is in the oversized chair. More than one somebody.
I still hold up my gun as I look at the chair.
Not my chair. My favorite chair.
West is sitting in the chair with some blonde girl sitting on his lap. She giggles, swatting a hand at West’s chest at something he said. I watch as she leans forward and presses her lips against his, kissing him. I don’t lower my gun as I look at them. Obviously, I’m not going to shoot the girl, but West...
Eh, I better not.
But something stirs in my stomach as I watch the two of them on the chair. My stomach is tight, and the feeling takes me a little while to work out. And I realize with absolute horror that I’m jealous. I’m jealous of this girl.
No.
No, I tell myself. You can’t be jealous. You don’t like West. In fact, you hate him. The feeling is just... disdain.
He ruined my chair. I am mad about that. But I refuse to be jealous over this nameless girl that currently has her tongue down his throat.
Just as I am about to turn and head back to my room, West’s eyes open and he looks at me. He doesn’t stop kissing the girl, but he keeps looking at me. I lower my gun, but I don’t look away. I don’t even try to turn away. I just stand there and watch him. No matter how much I tell myself to go back to the room, I can’t seem to make my legs move.
I wonder if the girl is pretty. She looks pretty from this angle, but I wonder what her face looks like. Does she have blue eyes, like me? Her hair is blonde, which isn’t unique. A lot of girls have blonde hair. Though, hers looks bleached and mine grows out of my head like this. Where my hair is long, hers is short, barely down to her shoulders. I expect West to run his fingers through her hair and to touch her, but he leaves his arms at his sides. And his blue eyes are still locked on me.
For a moment, I allow myself to entertain a dangerous thought—would West ever kiss me like that? And if we did kiss, would he keep his hands at his side, or would he hold onto me? I wouldn’t want him to just sit there like that if we kissed. I’d want his fingers tangled in my hair. But it’s a reckless thought, because I know one kiss wouldn’t be enough. I would want more.
But... West isn’t mine. He will never be. I’m okay with that fact, more than okay. I don’t want West in that way. This girl, the one who is helping West defile my chair, she can have him.
His eyes are still on mine, so I force myself to turn away. I start walking back to my room and trip over something in the floor. I squeal as I fall over, landing face first on the tile floor. I feel something wet trail down my nose, so I wipe at it.
Great. A bloody nose. Just what I need.
I roll over to see what I tripped over and I see a giant shoe in the middle of the floor.
When I sit up, I see that West is looking at me with a smirk on his face and the girl who was sitting on his lap is now standing, looking over at me with a horrified expression on her face.
“Who the heck are you?” the girl asks.
She is pretty from the front, which makes my chest ache with jealousy, but I try to ignore it. I can’t see what color her eyes are from here, since it’s dark, but the lights don’t need to be on for me to see that she’s stunning.
“I live here, so I should be asking you who you are.” I try to sound intimidating, but it’s hard when there is blood dripping down my chin.
West rolls his eyes, getting up from his chair. He yanks his shirt off dramatically and holds it out for me. When I don’t take it, he shakes the shirt.
“For your nose.”
I reach over and open the linen closet that is right behind me and I grab a washcloth, pressing it to my nose.
Why would I ruin his shirt when I could use a perfectly good washcloth?
He smiles, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s amused by me. Or maybe he thinks I’m weird—he wouldn’t be wrong if he thought that. I am kind of weird.
“Sorry I disrupted your make out session. Does she know about your rash?”
The girl makes a choking sound, but West’s smile only grows.
“Maybe I should go.” The girl walks over to West.
“Sure, Hannah,” he says, but his eyes don’t leave mine.
“It’s Heidi.” Her voice changes from the sultry tone to a very whiny one.
I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
“Right. Heidi.” He shakes his head, finally breaking eye contact with me to look at the girl. “I’ll walk you out.”
He puts his hand on the girl’s elbow as he escorts her from the condo. On the way out, I hear her ask, “She was joking about the rash, right?”
I don’t hear his answer because he shuts the door behind them.
I turn to go back to my own room, but I
see another pair of eyes watching me. I nearly jump, but relax when I see that it’s only Kal.
“What happened to your face?”
“I fell from heaven,” I joke, then hold up West’s shoe. “He left his shoe in the middle of the floor.”
“Right.” Kal narrows his eyes. “You know that you and West are never going to be a thing, right? He doesn’t even usually like blondes. I have no idea why he brought that chick back here. He usually ditches them before we come home.”
“Who says I want to be a thing with West?” I drop the washcloth from my nose. The bleeding has pretty much stopped, or at least it’s significantly slowed down.
“Everybody likes West.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “I just wanted to warn you not to fall for him. It would end very badly for you.”
“Noted.”
Kal sighs, stepping forward. “Even I can admit, I see your charm. You have this whole clueless thing going on and it’s kind of adorable. But you’re not just some girl. You’re our teammate. We don’t need a hot girl. We need somebody who can keep up with us. You’re weak, and with you on the team somebody is going to get hurt, or worse. I can’t let that happen. The guys are my family. You’re just some girl we met yesterday.”
“I’m a Spy School agent, too,” I argue. “I’ve trained just as hard as you guys have. Out of all the names put in, Michael Sinclair chose me. And might I remind you that one of you put my name in in the first place. I didn’t choose this, but I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by. Certainly, you can understand.”
His shoulders sag.
Did he really think he was going to talk me into leaving? Did he and Ian plan this? Am I going to get the same chat from West and Alek at some point?
“Ian already tried to bully me into leaving, so you can save your breath. I’m not going anywhere.” I’m honestly insulted that these guys even keep trying. Do they really think so little of my intelligence?
The Unwanted Spy Page 4
