“I’m okay,” I said, and paused. “Jana, I’m so sorry.” My voice sounded hollow and distant to my own ears. “How are you doing? Are you all right?”
“Not really,” she said. “I just keep going into his old room. There’s no one there.”
I sat down on the steps, suddenly feeling the weight of what had happened. “Jana, where’s your father? Where’s Bexx Senior?”
“He’s there, in Ireland. He’s on his way back now,” she said, and I could hear the anger in her voice. “He’s always gone…and so was Nick and so are you. I’m alone. I’m always alone.”
I placed my hand against my forehead, unsure how to comfort her. “You shouldn’t be alone right now—”
“So come here! Say you’ll come with me to the funeral. I have something for you and I can’t face the funeral alone,” she said, her voice finally breaking. “There’s no one left in the world who loves me. Only you and Nick and now he’s gone…”
I wanted to tell her that her father loved her and that she wasn’t alone, but I knew the truth and I wasn’t going to rob her of her feelings. People were always doing that to her.
“Jana, honey, I’ll call you back,” I said and hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” Cullen asked.
“That was Nick’s sister. She wants me to come home for the funeral.”
Cullen gave me a funny look.
“Well, I’ve got to get back to Móraí. I think we’re off on one of her adventures shortly, so call the mobile if anything comes up,” Liam said and gave us both a hug.
Cullen wrapped his arms around me and guided me down the street. “Let’s go get some lunch.”
“I’m not really hungry, but okay.”
He stopped walking and stared at me.
“Babe, are ye okay?”
I clung to him tighter. “It’s just been a nightmare,” I whispered.
“I know.” He replied. “It’s all over now. The Garda have moved on from us. No one’s going to be arrested, and that bastard is dead.”
I pulled back and looked at him steadily. His expression was as serious as an undertaker’s. “What kind of thing is that to say?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice sharp.
“The bastard is dead…” I said, repeating his words.
“Well, I’m sorry, but he was a bad person—”
My face grew hot. “Cullen, I’m not happy that someone violently murdered Nick.”
His eyes widened, the orange flecks in his green irises growing larger and somehow appearing inflamed.
“I know…but ye can’t deny that the man had it comin’. He murders small animals and stalked ye and he could have killed my brother.”
“We don’t know for sure that the animal thing was him, but yes, I agree Nick was bad news,” I said. “But I just don’t want to feel like we’re happy about it, okay–”
“Ye’d rather I be fake?” Cullen interrupted. “Pretend like I didn’t watch him throw ye off a cliff? Are ye kiddin’ me right now?”
I stared. “Maybe we should drop this.”
“Whatever ye say—But there’s something wrong with ye if ye are seriously considerin’ goin’ to that funeral.”
“Cullen,” I said sharply.
Cullen took a breath and put his hands up to cover his face. He had long fingers. “Sophia, I’ve been worryin’ myself sick over ye the last week. It drives me mad to be away from ye all the time and to know that some lunatic who almost killed ye a year ago was now stalking ye... well, let’s just say I could barely concentrate on anything else. I almost blew this last deal just to get back to ye. So, the fact that this dangerous person is now gone and is never going to hurt you…well I’m sorry if it makes me a bad person, but I feel better. I feel like celebratin’. Hell, I feel like I can finally sleep again.”
I reached up, standing on my tippy toes, and kissed him. “I love you, Cullen. You are the most genuine person and you’re right to feel the way you do. I guess, truthfully, I feel guilty because I feel a little relieved, too.”
“Babe, ye can always be honest with me.”
“Good, because I’m honestly still going to the funeral.”
THIRTY-SIX
T he trees were full and green as I opened the limo door, letting in the warm summer sunshine. I wondered once again if I would ever get that battered image out of my head. No matter what the bastard had done, I never would have wished that violent death on him. The bloggers were now mostly hinting that it was his involvement with drugs that did him in and that Betty’s death had been the warning, but of course there were the few that still believed it had something to do with me—despite the fact that I was cleared in the investigation. I privately wondered if someone was trying to set me up. Why would someone have left a message from me to meet? Or was it just a mix-up? Perhaps he was cheating with someone named Sophia. That wasn’t completely reaching; Nick was a cheater.
“Sophia?”
From my left side, Leslie, who we’d just stopped to pick up, broke my train of thought.
“We’re gonna be late for the funeral.”
“Oh, yes,” I whispered, climbing back in. I’d been daydreaming—replaying my argument with Cullen over in my head. He’d begged me not to come, to leave the past where it belonged, but there had been moments when Nick almost seemed like a good person. I owed it to him—and his family, didn’t I? Jana was like a little sister to me and Bexx Senior, despite his coldness to his own children, had always been good to me. Besides, what would people say if I didn’t come? They’d say I did it, that’s what they’d say, and I was tired of the twittersphere bearing down on me. Besides, the danger was over, Nick was dead, and the cycle was broken… So why did I still feel uneasy?
“Thanks for coming with me today. I just don’t think I could do this on my own.”
“Don’t mention it. Besides, I’m looking forward to having you all to myself for a few days.”
“Me too. I can’t wait til you’re back in Dublin for the wedding. I wish you could come sooner. You should come live there.”
“Right.”
“I’m serious. You lived there for almost two years. Why not move back?”
“That was a phase. I lived in hostels and crashed with friends.”
“Well, you can still crash with a friend.”
“You’re getting married, and three’s a crowd.”
My phone pinged and lit up with a message. I covered my mouth and leaned my head forward onto my knees.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m trending as the Bexx jealous girlfriend,” I said sharply.
“But you left him; you even moved away. How can people buy into that shit?”
“Doesn’t matter to them, I guess—it’s juicy and it’s not about them.”
Leslie frowned.
“You’re looking a little gaunt. Did you eat?”
I glanced at my reflection in the window. I was wearing a black dress that was in stark contrast to the paleness of my skin. She was right; I looked worn out.
“I think I ate a protein bar last night before I packed.” I rummaged through my purse. “Oh no, wait, it’s still here.”
“Well, right after the service we’ll grab some thai.”
“Let’s just order in. I don’t think I could handle a restaurant and people right now. Oh, shoot, I promised my old landlord that I’d meet her for coffee. You remember Rissa, don’t you?”
Leslie nodded.
The limo came to a sudden stop and I leaned down to get my purse.
“Umm, Sophia. If you don’t want to see people, we may be in trouble.”
I sat back up and glanced outside. There was a crowd.
“They probably want to see the woman accused of murdering Nicholas Riley Bexx Jr.”
“Sophia!” Jana cried, shoving her way through the crowd. Nick’s younger sister was a beautiful young woman. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy but she wore a thin-lipped smile.
&nbs
p; As I turned toward her, a man stepped forward and snapped my picture with an explosion of light
“Great,” I murmured, leaning into Jana’s shoulder. “Everyone with a cell is a photographer these days. I don’t actually need a reporter hounding me, too.”
“Don’t worry, it’s just the local paper. Some of Nick’s friends from L.A are here. You know how it is when the celebs come around. Anyway, you know we don’t believe any of that shit they’re saying. Father and I are just so happy you came.”
“Me too,” I said, thinking about how I’d really declined at first, not wanting to come at all. She clung tighter and a sob burst from her throat.
Remorse washed over me for the small creature in my arms and I was glad I’d conceded to coming. “Oh, Jana. It’s going to be all right.” I wanted to say your brother is in Heaven now, but the words caught in my throat. Could he be? I peeled her back from me and wiped at my own tears.
“Jana, you remember my friend Leslie?”
“Yes, of course,” she said, clinging to Leslie next, before grabbing my arm and leading us up the stairs of the church. Rows of eyes instantly turned to stare but Jana held fast, toting me along.
“Jana,” a voice called just as we made it up the aisle to the casket.
“Aunt Sarah,” she said, letting go. “I’ll be back.”
I looked around and then turned to Leslie. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“I can’t believe it either,” Leslie whispered back. “I didn’t know evil incarnate could die.”
I jabbed her with an elbow. “Leslie, we’re at the man’s funeral, with his family!”
Leslie let out a sigh. “Sorry, but that guy gave you nothing but trouble. I’m not sure I even understand why you wanted to come.”
I stared down at the casket again and shook my head. “I don’t know. I just felt compelled. I can’t explain it.” And that was the truth. I’d had no intention of attending Nick’s funeral. Yet after Jana’s phone call, I’d found myself packing. Looking down now, I realized I’d come for some sort of closure; the police photos had been such a mess. Part of me wanted to make sure it was all real and he was truly dead, which of course wasn’t going to happen, since it was a closed casket.
“What is it, Sophia? You look like you’re thinking.”
“I don’t know. It’s ridiculous, but I guess part of me expected him to pop up. To not really be dead, you know?”
“If he was alive then he’d still be trying to kill you. This is a good thing.”
“I guess I just always hoped for a different ending. Like maybe he’d come to his senses and apologize for his obsession with me.” It wasn’t likely; Nick had never apologized for anything in his life.
“I think they’re ready to start,” Leslie whispered, gesturing to the pulpit. “We need to take a seat.”
I allowed her to lead me away and we walked to our seats three rows back. I turned my attention to the front of the chapel. The pastor began to read the standard verses, demonstrating to those in attendance that Nick moved on to a better place. Leslie smirked and I caught the irony. My world was a better place now that Nick was gone.
I turned my gaze to the ridiculous gold casket. Trust Bexx Senior to choose something so gaudy. He probably saw even his son’s death as an extension of himself.
I straightened in the pew, turning back to the pastor. His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out.
That’s when I noticed something else odd out of the corner of my eye. I blinked once to clear my vision, and stared hard. Surely it was a trick of the lights. Caskets didn’t move.
I had just about convinced myself, when the top rose. I sucked in a breath and clenched my eyes shut—certain I was having a nervous breakdown that had been a year in the making. I waited several seconds, then slowly opened them, silently praying that my mind was done playing tricks.
Apparently, it wasn’t.
Nick was sitting upright, looking straight at me, a confused expression on his beautiful, unmarred face. His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. Then it was as if someone turned the volume up.
“It wasn’t me,” he said over and over.
Panicked, I panned the room. Why wasn’t anyone screaming or pointing or running for the door? Why wasn’t his face beaten to a bloody pulp?
I felt a squeeze on my hand, and Leslie whispered, “Are you all right? You got really pale all of a sudden[RS3].”
“Don’t you see that?” I pointed to the front of the chapel.
Leslie cast a quick glance to the front, then looked back at me with concern—no fear, no terror…nothing to indicate that she saw anything amiss.
“See what?” she asked.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and got to my feet, steeling myself. Even though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, I forced my gaze back to the front. A wave of dizziness washed over me. My head began to swim and everything went dark.
I came to, surrounded by a circle of concerned faces. Nick’s funeral, I remembered instantly.
“Sophia?” Leslie leaned over me, a worried look on her face.
I sat up on the stairs and blood rushed to my head. Birds chirped overhead. “We’re outside. What happened?”
Leslie shook her head. “I don’t know. The preacher was saying a passage, and the next thing I knew, you were on the floor. Jana asked one of the men to carry you out here for some fresh air.”
Jana, standing next to Leslie, handed me a bottle of water and chimed in, “It looks like you fainted. I’m sorry for making you come. This is obviously too much for you.”
I chugged the water and nodded, rising from the cold cement of the steps, wobbling a bit in my heels just as the other funeral attendees drifted out the door and away to the cemetery. My head ached and I rubbed my temples and looked over at Leslie. “When did the casket come out?”
Leslie frowned and gave me a critical look—leading the way to the car we had waiting.
“They brought the casket out a couple of minutes ago when you were still out cold. It was so odd…you just started shaking during the reading then you asked if I could see something, and the next thing I knew, you were already hitting the ground.”
“It must be the lack of food,” I said.
By the time Nick was lowered into the ground, the sun was going down. Some of the crowd dispersed, leaving just us stragglers behind to place flowers and weep our goodbyes. I stood hand-in-hand with a sobbing Jana and stared off into the distance, looking anywhere but the casket for fear of hallucination. And that’s when I noticed the hooded figure watching us from behind one of the trees. It was still light enough that I could make out the height and build and, damn it, if I wasn’t once again seeing Nick—or, at the very least, Nick’s ghost. I looked down at the casket and then quickly back up, as if something was daring me to look again. He was gone—just a tree. Was Nick still alive? Surely, I’d been hallucinating at the church, or had someone been sending me a sign that Nick had staged his own death? I concentrated on the spot longer, convincing myself it must have been another figment of my imagination.
When I managed to pull myself out of my trance, I realized Jana had left my side. I turned and almost walked smack into Bexx Senior. Where had he come from? He was a stocky, attractive man, despite his years. His salt-and-pepper hair had once been dark and his eyes, although slightly hooded now, were still the most penetrating brown puppy dog eyes—just like his son’s.
“Hello, Sophia, sweetheart. Feeling better?”
“Yes. Thank you. I’m so sorry that I caused such a scene.”
His head just nodded. “So, I understand you’ll be staying with us for a few days.” He rested his large hand on my back, a little low, as usual, for my comfort.
“I’m staying with my friend Leslie.” I shot a glance at Jana, who obviously hadn’t told him. Jana shrugged and gave me a hopeless look.
“Nonsense, you’ll stay with us,” he boomed.
“Thank you, b
ut I promised Leslie,” I said, pointing to her standing on the other side of Jana.
“Well, then you and Leslie will have dinner with us,” he said this as more of a fact than a question and guided us back to his limo. I would have protested, but Jana had mentioned she had something important for me back at the house. The driver was waiting with the door already open.
“Hello, Ms. Marcil.”
“Hello, Lawrence. Nice to see you again,” I replied with a warm smile. “The car you sent for me is right there and my bags are in it.” I’d come straight from the airport. Bexx Senior had paid for my plane ticket and made all the arrangements. This had irked Cullen further but I didn’t see the harm in allowing him this one last thing. After all, he’d just lost his only son.
“Grab the lady’s bag and let the driver go,” Bexx Senior said to Lawrence as he shut the door. Within seconds he’d grabbed four chilled glasses from the limo bar and handed one to each of us; they were filled with a dark liquid. I’d never been a hard liquor drinker, but I’d learned long ago never to refuse anything from Bexx Senior.
The drive went quickly and before I knew it we were being guided up the stairs and into the house. So many memories. I should have known Nick wasn’t done torturing me. I thought of the last time I’d seen him, begging to have coffee. Should I have done it? Would he still be alive if I had? Did I want him to be alive?
He had tried to kill me.
I shook the thoughts away. There was no way I could stay for dinner. I needed to get out of here and back to Ireland.
“Jana, you mentioned you had something for me.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s in my room. I need to talk to you in private anyway. Follow me.”
“Sure,” I said, following her up the stairs and down the long hallway. Her room was on the right. It was large and meticulously clean. She walked to her dresser and lifted an envelope. “Nick, umm, left this for you.”
“What?” I took the letter, holding my breath. “Why would Nick leave this for me? How did you get it?”
I paused, shifting my gaze to her. She gave me an awkward look.
“Jana, I don’t want this. I can’t deal with anymore guilt right now.”
Cruel Fortunes Omnibus: Volumes One to Four Page 40
