by J. B. Buell
Billy’s Geeky Quest
By J.B. Buell
Published by JMS Books LLC
Visit jms-books.com for more information.
Copyright 2021 J.B. Buell
ISBN 9781646566785
Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com
Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.
All rights reserved.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Published in the United States of America.
* * * *
I’d like to dedicate this story to the younger version of myself who needed to see representation like this in stories.
* * * *
Billy’s Geeky Quest
By J.B. Buell
Chapter 1: Comic Cons, the Final Frontier
Chapter 2: Seek Out New…Situations
Chapter 3: To Boldly Go…
Epilogue: The Continuing Mission
Chapter 1: Comic Cons, the Final Frontier
Billy got himself ready at a slow pace because, as his mom had often said, getting ready was half the fun.
Today he was headed to the comic arts fair in Brooklyn, which opened at ten A.M. Billy lived in Brooklyn already, so he was close enough for a quick cab ride to the venue. He’d easily make it before noon, which was a sensible time to show up.
Plenty of time left to fuss with his hair.
Billy stood in front of his bathroom mirror in just his pants, with his chest bare. He’d only had his top surgery done six months ago, so the whole concept of having a flat chest was still pretty new and exciting for him. Billy loved his square chest and his brand new, rock-hard pecs. Like, some days he couldn’t stop himself from glancing at them and grinning in delight.
His belly on the other hand…Well, that was more of a cupping it with both hands to test the jiggle and silently worrying that he was getting far too big. Maybe one day he’d convince himself to at least set foot inside a gym or, failing that, eat less pizza.
At least with his genes he’d gotten lots of body hair after a few years of hormone replacement therapy. Billy figured he was well on his way to becoming a prime Bear-cub candidate. His beard was nice and thick; dark brown like the rest of his hair, so that was a win in his opinion.
He gathered up his long hair and experimented with it in different up-do’s, turning side to side to check his reflection. He’d shaved in a small undercut on one side yesterday, and dyed the short fuzz in shades of green and turquoise.
The color had mostly rubbed off on his pillowcase overnight, but it still looked alright today.
Billy got his comb, some texturizing spray, and began to work a bit of volume into his hair.
Before he finished, he slipped on his T-shirt; a vibrant aquamarine color featuring cult comic art of a handsome and genderqueer merperson. Then he gathered his hair up and tied it with a bright green, sparkly scrunchie.
And he was ready.
Just an additional ten minutes of second-guessing his outfit and worrying over his appearance, like he did most days, then he could leave.
* * * *
Billy arrived at the venue a little after noon.
It was in the lecture halls of the Pratt Institute, so it wasn’t a huge Con or anything. It was mostly for indie comic creators and local artists to sell their work.
And because Billy was a huge comics nerd, he went to every event he possibly could, especially when he lived so close.
Billy got his pass, checked his jacket, and tried not to feel too self-conscious as he entered the main hall bustling with table after table of comics, and people browsing them.
Billy was on his own today. His only friends into comics, Sabah and Rosa, were busy doing couple stuff as they’d just gotten their first place together, and were redecorating.
Billy knew some people who would probably be here today, so he figured he’d just look around for them, and buy himself some new comics as a treat before he went into work this evening.
Just a chill day off doing something he enjoyed. No biggie.
Billy struggled with anxiety on his better days, but it always seemed to surface hard when he was on his own. Lately he’d been trying his best to do more things on his own, to not let anxiety keep him at home when there was somewhere fun he wanted to go to.
Of course, he wished he had someone to go with, but no one else was around and Billy just had to suck it up and go on his own. Besides, it didn’t matter that he was alone. Plenty of people did things on their own, he reminded himself. No one cared, no one was looking at him funny…
Okay, maybe a couple of people were looking at him funny, but it was New York; most people stared at him once and then looked away, and that was that.
Billy ducked his head a bit as he picked his way through the crowd. Maybe he should’ve worn something less colorful. Everyone else here looked pretty straight laced in their casual clothes and muted colors. Billy had gotten a bit too used to the bigger Cons and feeling safe in their vibrancy.
Well, he could always buy a new shirt from one of the tables, he supposed, and maybe take the scrunchie out of his hair. That would mute his appearance some.
There had to be some restrooms where he could change. Not that he particularly wanted to go in the men’s room in public, because then he got anxiety over passing.
Billy stared down at his bright shirt and exhaled in a huff. His palms had started to sweat, and his face felt hot.
“Okay,” he muttered under his breath, “stay calm, don’t panic.” He breathed steadily and looked for signs that led to the hall with panels.
There was a really interesting panel listed about identity in comics, and Billy figured if he sat tucked away in a corner he could concentrate on the talk and calm himself down a bit.
The panel hadn’t started yet, and Billy found a seat in the back and sank down gratefully. He set his backpack on the floor and subtly tugged the scrunchie from his hair, then tried to smooth the wavy mass with his fingers.
He hid the scrunchie in his bag, giving it one last lingering look before he zipped the bag closed.
Maybe another day, he thought.
* * * *
The panel was actually a lot of fun, and just what Billy had needed to ground himself.
He texted Rosa too, and she sent him photos of their redecorating which, mundane as it was, helped Billy feel a bit calmer just to chat to his best friend.
He stayed for one more panel on comics script writing, which was so very much what Billy was into, he took a few notes on his Supergirl notepad and hoped one day soon he could ultilize all those awesome tips.
After that panel was done, Billy couldn’t wait any longer to get back to the main hall and start shopping.
He took his bag and wandered around the table of exhibitors, browsing the goods, purchasing indie comics, a game, and two new T-shirts.
&n
bsp; Although, the new shirts weren’t any less conspicuous than the one he had on. He’d bought a white shirt with Batman kissing Superman on the front, because it was cute, and then a black shirt with Nightwing in a sexy pin-up pose.
He still had a bit of money left. Maybe he could find a more…regular shirt.
But first, he needed coffee, and a pastry.
There was a small coffee shop close by, and Billy took a break in there to eat and recharge.
He also checked the venue map on his program, seeing where the artist alley was. He knew that Maya, a friend of his, would probably be in there selling their art. Billy would go there next.
He was just finishing his cinnamon roll when he spotted a familiar face out in the hall.
Billy swallowed hard, nearly coughing in surprise.
It was AJ, the guy Billy had had an almost, sort of, not quite thing with last year.
Or, maybe more accurately, Billy had crushed on him when they’d met and started hanging out, and mistook AJ’s interest in him as romantic. Turned out, AJ wasn’t into Billy and, as he’d said more than once, he only dated cis guys, or very binary trans guys.
So, not Billy at all.
And AJ hadn’t been the first guy to tell Billy that, but he had been the first guy in a long time to get Billy’s hopes up that something would spark between them.
They’d met at the Brooklyn trans masc group, at one of those slightly awkward meetings where hardly anyone came, only Billy and two other people. AJ was in his late twenties, younger than Billy but friendly, sassy and cute.
Finding AJ as a friend had been a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it had been nice to have a friend who was also single and trans. Billy didn’t know anyone else who was in their thirties like him, and who was either single or trans, or just wanted to hang out with him.
But, on the other hand, hanging out with AJ and getting his hopes up, then getting friend-zoned…that had really sucked. Billy was still carrying some feelings over all that.
He didn’t blame AJ at all; shit happened. Sure, they’d gotten along fine and some of their interests had overlapped, like watching comic book movies. But where Billy was, at heart, an awkward geek, AJ was far more outgoing and enjoyed going to nightclubs and the gym. So, they hadn’t had all that much in common after all.
Which was why Billy found it so jarring to spot AJ here today. Nerdy little comic fairs were his territory, surely. Sometimes he wished people would get the hell off his lawn and leave him in peace.
Billy waited until AJ had disappeared into the exhibitor hall, then he grabbed his bags and headed in the opposite direction, to artist’s alley.
He’d go find Maya, say a quick hey to them, then get the heck out of dodge.
Billy felt grumpy, hot and sweaty from stress. He tried to be patient as he wove through the other people browsing tables of comic art. He kind of wanted to use his bulk to push through them all, but he made himself take deep breaths and count to ten instead.
It wasn’t all these people’s faults that he was cranky, he figured.
“Just get a slice of pizza after all this,” he muttered to himself. “You earned it, buddy.”
Billy got caught up behind some really slow-moving people, and instead of huffing impatiently, he breathed in deep and turned to the table at his side to look at the art on display.
It was actually very good art, Billy thought.
“Hey, I like your shirt,” said a deep yet friendly voice.
Billy glanced up, though he usually avoided making eye contact with vendors, and his glance turned into a stare as he laid eyes on a very handsome and broad-shouldered hipster in a blue button down. He had a ruggedly handsome look with shaggy, dirty blond hair and a darker beard, and perfect white teeth when he smiled.
What the hell, Billy thought. Since when did cute hipsters have tables at comic fairs?
Maybe he’s watching it for someone, he thought. Yeah, that was more like it.
The guy was still smiling at him and Billy realized he had yet to respond. “Um, thanks,” he mumbled.
“It’s from that comic, right?” the hipster asked.
That got Billy’s attention.
If this hipster was gay, Billy would faint on the spot.
“Uh,” he managed, adjusting his bags and feeling really awkward, “yeah, it is.”
“I like the comic a lot.” Hipster leaned in and reached across his table for an art print. “I drew some genderqueer characters myself recently.”
Billy nearly dropped his bags in surprise. “You drew these?”
The hipster looked up at him, all blue eyes and rugged gorgeousness, then he smiled warmly.
“Yeah. I drew all these,” he said easily, and offered Billy a handful of art prints. “Here, take a look. I’m trying to put together a comic, so most of these are character studies right now.”
Billy took the prints and carefully looked at them one by one. “These are really good,” he murmured, absorbed by the color and vibrancy of the art, the attention to detail. “Oh!” he exclaimed, coming across a character that looked half gay bear, half hipster merman, and a bit on the chubby side.
He turned that print around to show the artist.
“This one is amazing,” Billy told him. “I like that you’ve done…you know, different body sizes.”
“Thanks.” He grinned in response. “I’m still working out a concept right now, but I’d love to do a diverse team of heroes or crime-fighters with powers. Something fun, you know?”
Billy smiled back. “Oh, please, make it fun. So many cape comics are all gloomy and depressing right now.”
“I know, right?” The artist laughed. “As soon as I find a writer, I’ll be sure to tell them.”
Billy’s mouth dropped open in a small o of surprise.
I’m a writer.
He almost said it, but he had never actually written a comic before, only stories for himself or fan-fiction. He was a newbie, and surely this artist would want someone with experience, or with connections.
“I…hope you find someone,” he said, looking back at the prints in his hands. “I love your style.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I’m planning to have my first table at Flamecon this year, so I’ll be on the lookout for writers.”
“You don’t want to write it yourself?” Billy asked.
“Nah, I suck at plot.” He laughed again, eyes crinkling with amusement. “Art’s fine, but plot is not my strength.”
“Oh.” Billy bit his lip.
He wanted to buy some of this guy’s art, and he probably had about twenty bucks left to spare.
“How much are these prints?”
The artist smiled at him. “Well, they’re ten dollars each, but for you, pick one you like, on me.”
“Oh! Um…” Billy felt his face flush, but tried to tell himself not to get all excited, this guy was probably just being nice to bump his sales.
Billy ended up buying two more prints on top of the free one anyway.
The artist bagged them up and handed them over with a warm smile. “Thanks so much! Great to meet you…”
“Oh, Billy.” He took the bag with a shy smile, trying his best to play it cool.
“Well, great to meet you, Billy! I’m Scott. Hopefully see you at another Con?”
“I’ll definitely go to Flamecon,” Billy said eagerly.
Although…that was months away.
He hovered awkwardly for a moment, wishing he had the game to keep the conversation going, but self-doubt crept in, convincing him a hot guy like this would either be spoken for, or have a type that would certainly not fit Billy’s description.
So, he said goodbye and hurried away to go find his friend’s table.
* * * *
That evening when he was bored at work, Billy texted Rosa. I met my ideal husband today.
Oh, really? she replied, with several winking emojis.
Yeah, Billy wrote. He was selling his art at the comic fair, and he
drew a chubby non-binary character! plus he’s super hot.
Sounds perfect, Rosa sent back. So, when’s the wedding?
Billy sent some eye rolling emojis. I haven’t proposed yet, Rosa.
Well, hurry up, she replied, if you’re in time for September we can have a double wedding.
I want my own wedding, Billy texted back. No offense, but I want a big gay wedding all to myself. And a big gay cake all to myself too.
LOL, fine. So you asked him out?
“Um, no?” Billy muttered to himself as he texted back. He won’t be into me. He probably dates other cute hipsters.
Rosa replied with all capitals, YOU’RE A CUTE HIPSTER. You should just ask him.
Billy exhaled a small laugh at his friend’s exasperated tone. It was kind of her to say that, but the reality Billy often faced was, not a lot of people wanted to date a non-binary trans man.
He didn’t feel like typing those feelings out right now, so he just replied, What if he says no?
Billy added several sad face emojis to convey his general position on the matter.
Then we’ll find you someone else, Rosa wrote back. You won’t know if you don’t ask.
Billy made a face at the text, before typing back, Yeah, I guess.
Then he set down his phone and spun idly in his swivel chair. He had plenty of systems upgrades to be getting on with, but he couldn’t get Scott the artist out of his mind.
Instead of waiting months for the next Con where Billy could bump into Scott again, how could Billy initiate a conversation with him? There was no way Billy was going to just bust in out of nowhere and ask the guy on a date. He did not have the game for that.
Maybe something else?
Maybe, instead of asking Scott out on a date, which would no doubt end in tragic failure anyway because that was his life, Billy could ask Scott about being his writer.
That seemed slightly less terrifying.
In fact, the more Billy thought about it, the more it seemed like the best solution all round. By the end of his shift, Billy had made up his mind. He would do it.
He’d ask Scott to be his writer.
There’d been a flyer in with the art prints from today, and it had Scott’s website address and his email. Billy would send him an email.
