A Whole New Me

by J C Carter

  I hear Bronte laugh as she asks, "Not a fan of football players?"

  "Or football really, but yeah, mostly the players. I had a bad experience with one recently. I mean I'm probably being a little dramatic, but it sort of turned me off them. Not that they're my type or anything. Basically, I dated one for a while, he dumped me, and now I find them all annoying."

  "Huh, makes sense I guess," she says nodding her head in what seems like sympathy.

  "I know it's unfair, but it's how I feel," I say, starting to feel a little defensive.

  Bronte holds up her hands, "Hey, no need to defend your feelings to me. If that's how you feel, it's how you feel."

  "Thanks," I say, feeling slightly sheepish. I know I'm probably being unfair and I feel a little bad about it. Plus I don't want Jackson to have any kind of influence over my feelings. But I'll think about that later, because I notice someone eyeing our table, or more specifically us. I noticed him right away, though I wished I hadn't which may also account somewhat for my reaction.

  He's tall, but not too tall. He's got dark brown hair, very thick and slightly wavy. I can't really tell the shade of his eyes, but from here they look like warm brown. I notice with some interest that he's wearing glasses, I don't think that's very common with football players, with good reason. But I kind of like it, much to my annoyance. He's a bit lanky, but there's definitely muscle there. He has an angular face that I'm guessing could look quite severe when he's angry, but right now he's wearing a smile that makes him look very sweet. I'm sure he has no problem winning over the ladies with that smile. And it looks like he's on his way over here, flyer in hand.

  "Heads up," mumbles Bronte as the guy approaches us. I stiffen, but turn towards him hoping to get this interaction over with quickly.

  "Hey ladies, you're both looking lovely this afternoon. I'm Ricky Watson," he says as he holds out his hand for one of us to shake. Bronte comes to my rescue when I don't respond and grabs his hand in a firm shake.

  "I'm Bronte and this is Tessa, it's nice to meet you Ricky. What have you got there," she asks in a friendly tone, pointing to the flyer in his hand. And I silently give thanks for her and the fact that she knows how to politely converse with strangers.

  "My housemates and I are throwing a party, a little welcome back kind of thing. I thought maybe you two might be interested," he says as he looks pointedly in my direction and hands me the flyer. I glance down at it and recognize the address listed as one of the frat houses on campus. Great, a frat party complete with football players. It'll be the typical college party experience, not my kind of thing at all.

  He's still looking at me and I realise that I haven't uttered a word since he came over. I should probably speak at some point. But before I can open my mouth, he holds up a hand to stop me.

  "Hang on. I'm sure you're about to say no, I can see it on your face." I huff and roll my eyes, annoyed that he can tell what I'm going to say just by looking at my face. But he continues speaking.

  "Don't say no yet, just consider it. I'd love to see you there." He flashes me that smile of his and walks away with little concealed swagger in his steps.

  "Oh, he likes you, he likes you a lot," Bronte says after he's gone. She's got a smile on her face that can only be described as sly.

  "He does not. Look, he's already passing out flyers to a bunch of other girls," I point out as I spot Ricky making the rounds at other tables. "I'm sure I'm not the only one he'd like to see personally, they just want a full house for the party."

  "Maybe you're right, and I'm sure you're not the only girl he finds attractive. But Tessa, he clocked you the second you came in here, don't pretend like you didn't notice. I'm not a big party person either, but it might be fun to meet some new people. And we don't have to drink if you don't want to."

  She's almost pleading at this point and I can tell she really wants to go to this party. So I fight my instincts and say, "Fine, I'll think about it." She squeals with excitement and grabs up her fork to finish her meal.

  * * *

  A short while later finds us exploring some of the shops on the main street, coffees in hand. We thought about exploring some of the academic buildings and libraries, but we decided to stick to the more exciting areas today.

  So far we've hit the art and poster store, I got a few cute prints for my walls, a really great used bookstore, I refrained from purchasing anything yet, and we bought a ton of candy from the old fashioned candy store. I mean they have new stuff too, but that had two whole walls lined with jars of the old fashioned stuff. It was pretty great.

  Looking for art with Bronte was interesting, she made comments about everything, bad and good. I mean she's an art major, so it makes sense that she had opinions, but I had no idea what she was talking about half the time. We did both find some really great Harry Potter prints, one for each of our houses. I'm Hufflepuff, she's Gryffindor.

  She hasn't dropped any more subtle hints about the party, and I'm grateful, though we have seen tons of people walking around with those flyers. I'm really starting to think we could become great friends. I don't want to force things and freak her out, but she seems as interested as I am in being good friends. So I'm just going with my gut on this one. It's hard for me though, because I come from a school where I've known everyone since middle school. So I haven't really needed to get to know anyone new for like twelve years.

  Plus, I'm a self proclaimed introverted bookworm. And in my experience, we're a shy and quiet bunch of people. Bronte obviously likes books, maybe not as much as I do, but enough that we mesh well.

  By the time we finish shopping it's almost four in the afternoon. We decide to head back to the dorms to potentially get ready for the football frat party. I still haven't committed to going, but I have a feeling I'll be seeing Ricky by the end of the night.

  Chapter 3

  "You should go Tessa, come on," my little sister Ally whines to me over the phone.

  Bronte and I got back to our rooms about thirty minutes ago and I've been on the phone with my sister for twenty five of those minutes. She called to check up on me and I made the mistake of mentioning the party and now she won't drop it.

  "It'll be fine and if you hate it, you can always leave. Live a little will you?"

  Ally is my little sister by two years, but she's always been way more outgoing than me, always pushing me to try new things. We have a love of books in common, but otherwise we're complete opposites. But that's never stopped us from being close. She's my best friend, which is how I know that arguing is pointless and that if I don't go to this party I'll never hear the end of it. I'm glad I didn't mention Ricky, her head would probably explode.

  "Alright fine," I say, feeling completely exasperated. "I'll go, but you are not allowed to mention this to mom. She'll make such a big deal out of it and I don't want to hear it right now, I'm nervous enough as it is."

  "Sure, sure whatever you want. Just go to the party, have fun, and call me tomorrow to tell me how it went. And then maybe we can also talk about me a little bit," she says with a laugh.

  "Hey, it's not my fault you decided to spend this entire phone call convincing me to do something. That's on you."

  "Whatever big sister, I love you. Be safe OK?"

  "I will, I love you too Ally bug." I end the call and sit down on bed, I feel like I'm the only person who would agonize this hard about going to a party. But I send Bronte a text letting her know we're on for the party and then decide to shower. It was hot out today and we were out walking for awhile.

  Bronte texts back asking if I want to grab dinner beforehand, but I decline. I'm too nervous to eat and I just want some alone time before I have to be surrounded by loud, noisy people. I go take my shower, the whole time reminding myself that if I really, truly didn't want to do this, I wouldn't be. I've never been someone who does something I don't want to do, or because someone else wants me to.

  I'm that person though who will totally do something out of spite. If you te
ll me that I can't or that I shouldn't, I'll prove to you that I can. I know that probably seems petty, but I've always kind of felt like I have something to prove to the world. That I may look non-threatening, but I can kick ass when I need to.

  Bronte let's me know that we should leave for the party around nine. That way we're not too early and we have more than enough time to get ready. We agree to meet in her room in an hour to get ready together. The last time I did something like that was for a dance in middle school. When your group of friends all decided to gather at one girls house, attempt to do decent hair and makeup, and douse themselves in perfume. Those were the days.

  I kill time by putting up my purchases from the day and it's oddly relaxing. It reminds me of my room at home, which has posters of places I want to visit and prints of some of my favorite book quotes. I thought about bringing all of that here with me, but I wanted it there when I visited. And it gave me an excuse to buy new stuff.

  I collect all the things I'm going to need to get ready, the outfit I planned in my head even when I swore I wasn't going, my makeup, and my giant bottle of hairspray, because my hair hates humidity. The makeup is a relatively new addition to my routine. I remember a time when I kind of hated it, but I've recently discovered the merits of foundation and eyebrow pencils.

  I make my way down the hall to Bronte's room, listening to some of the chatter as I go. I swear it's never truly quiet here. I'm not sure what it's like in the boys hallway, but in a space with 30 or so college girls, there's bound to always be some noise.

  I arrive at Bronte's door and knock. Her roommate answers, gives me a look, and brushes past me without saying a word. I walk in and shut the door, glancing around as I do. This room is packed. There are things in every possible space. It's a little cluttered but it feels comfortable. What I assume is Bronte's space is covered with cozy rugs and a ton of art supplies. Maybe I should ask her to decorate my room.

  "So, your roommate seems nice," I say as I make myself comfortable on the desk chair. Bronte is sitting on her bed painting her nails a vibrant shade of blue.

  She gives a laugh, shaking her head, "I have no idea if she is or isn't. She's barely said two words to me since I got here. I think she was hoping she'd have the room to herself since I showed up late. She has friends though, they've stopped by a few times, so she must talk sometimes."

  "Well, maybe she'll lighten up as time goes on. She can't really be mad at you for bothering to show up for school. That seems a bit harsh."

  "Eh, it's fine. I don't mind having a roommate, even if she's a bit grumpy. What about you, do you like having your own room? There's what? Two of you that have singles in this hallway?"

  "Yup, it was a random selection. I guess when this floor was being built, they messed up and made two of the rooms smaller by accident. They're not big enough to be doubles I guess. So I lucked out. I've never shared a room with anyone but my little sister and I even hated that. I prefer my own space. So, are you ready to get ready," I ask with very little enthusiasm.

  "Whoa, pull back on the excitement there missy, I can't take it."

  "Ha Ha, you're hilarious. Can I show you what I'm wearing, I want to make sure it's frat party ready. She nods while focusing back on her nails and I grab my outfit from the bag I brought with me.

  "Alright so here's what I have," I say, holding up my clothes. I have my favorite pair of dark skinny jeans, a black lower cut tank top that hits just above my knees and swishes when I walk, and a pair of mid-calf black combat boots. No matter the season, you'll almost always find me in boots.

  "What do you think?"

  "I think it's perfect, you'll be comfortable and you'll look cute. That's my kind of outfit. I hate wearing uncomfortable clothes just for the sake of looking good."

  "I totally agree with you there, I used to drive my mom crazy with that when I was a kid. Ok, your turn. Show me your outfit."

  She stands up from the bed, blowing on her nails as she goes and does a little spin. "This is it." She's wearing a tie dye print jersey dress and black tights underneath. "And I'm wearing black flats, so we'll both be comfy and cute," she says with a smile.

  "Sounds good to me. Well, I need some makeup on this face." I glance around searching for a place to set up my stuff when I notice Bronte making a face.

  "Yeah I'm not really sure why I offered for us to get ready here. I always end up doing my hair and makeup in the bathroom, because there's not a ton of space in here for that" And she's laughing now and I'm laughing and it feels nice to laugh with a friend.

  "It was a nice thought," I say, holding in a giggle. "How about we head to the bathroom?"

  She grabs everything she thinks she'll need and we make our way down the hall. Bronte's room is at the very end of the hall farthest from the bathroom, mine is actually the closest.

  We push into the bathroom and are greeted to the sight of several girls who apparently had the same idea we did. Makeup and hair products line the small shelf that runs along the walk between the mirrors and the sinks. There's chatting and laughing and someone is playing music on their phone. It looks like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy.

  "Hi," one of the girls calls out to us. "Are you guys going to the party too?"

  "We are," I say a bit awkwardly. I wasn't expecting to have to make small talk with a bunch of other people right now. But, this might be a good opportunity to make more friends. So, I decide to try and keep the conversation going.

  "Are you all going to the party together?"

  "Yeah, you guys wanna join us? I'm Alex by the way," she says pointing to herself.

  "I'm Tessa and this is Bronte," I say as Bronte steps up to join the conversation. She steps over to the last open sink with her stuff and motions for me to join her.

  "And we'd love to go with you, safety in numbers right?" Alex gives me a smile in response and then proceeds to introduce me to the other girls. Including her there are six. I'm kind of terrible with names so I'll be surprised if I can remember all of them. They all seem really nice though.

  Bronte chimes in from her spot, "Did you guys get a flyer too? That's how Tessa and I know about it. A bunch of guys were passing out flyers at the diner downtown today."

  One of the other girls, I think her name is Lena, laughs and says, "I actually know one of the freshman football players, he was invited since he's officially on the team now, and he told me about it. I spread the word this afternoon to everyone in the common room, but I totally saw all the flyers. They're plastered all over campus."

  "My gosh, how many people do you think will actually be there?"

  Bronte says, "Oh, I'm sure there'll be a ton. But I'm sure they'll end up turning people away if they really don't want them there. I'm sure they'll be letting in all the pretty girls though. And I bet Ricky will be looking for you Tessa."

  A few of the girls turn to look at me, they're mouths hanging open. "You know Ricky Watson," Lena asks, coming to stand by Bronte and I. I'm in the process of lining my eyes, but I set the pen down, because if I mess up I'll have to start over.

  "I don't really know him," I say tentatively. "He gave us a flyer to the party earlier today and I guess he asked us to go. But I'm sure he was inviting everyone he could"

  "Girl," I hear Bronte say, sounding a little exasperated with me, "How did you not see how much he liked you. It was all over his face, and he practically begged you to go to the party. It was like I wasn't even there. That boy only had eyes for you."

  "I can't believe he invited you personally, you are so lucky," Alex says excitedly. "He is so hot. Everyone on campus loves him, because he's so good at football. He's an awesome player. I've heard he's kind of a jerk, but I think that's just a rumor girls spread if he's not interested."

  "Well, I mean I don't even like football. So, if he does like me I'm sure that'll change when he finds that out," I say, reaching for anything that might take the attention off of me. "There will be dozens of girls there, I'm sure he'll be focused on s
omeone else."

  "Hey, if you're really not interested just tell him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. And if he has a problem with that, I've got your back," Bronte says with a firm nod of her head.

  "Yeah," Alex joins in, "We're sorry, we didn't mean to put you on the spot. Ricky is pretty much the guy every girl wants and maybe even a few guys. But you know what? Forget him right now. Let's finish getting ready and then we're doing a little pre-game in the common room"

  I throw her a grateful smile and turn to get back to my half lined eyes. I'm sharing a sink and mirror with Bronte, so it's a tight squeeze, but we manage. I do my eyes in smoky shades of gray and pair the look with some light pink lipstick. That way there's a pop of color and nothing looks too dark. I've recently started watching makeup tutorials to learn some good tips and tricks. I like my eyes, but the lids are a little small, so I have to do a little magic to make them look bigger. It's totally worth the effort.

  I used to hate makeup, because I felt like people who wore it were, in a way, lying about their appearance. I eventually realised how judgemental that was, because makeup and how you wear it is just another expression of self. And I loved the way it made me feel. I kept my hair simple. When it dried, it settled into natural loose waves, so I just added some smoothing product and hairspray and I was good to go.

  By the time we were all ready it was eight. We congregated in the common room with a bunch of guys who were also attending the party and just mingled. Well, everyone else mingled, I hung back and watched the fray. A few people produced a few bottles of alcohol that they weren't supposed to have stashed away in their bottom dresser drawers.

  I was really stepping out of my comfort zone tonight, but I felt a little pride at that. Maybe it wouldn't seem like a big deal to other people, but it was huge for me. Especially when you threw alcohol into the mix.