Her fingers idly stroked his sweat covered chest and a feeling of peace and rightness came over Hank. This was how it was supposed to be. Deep in his heart he knew it. Lis was his, and damn it, he was hers. Denying it hadn’t gotten him anywhere. Everywhere he’d turned, there she was, giving him her love.
Besides, they had a son to think about. Hank needed to open his mind to the very real possibility of a reconciliation. He’d been giving Alyssa a hard time about things and perhaps it was time to see if this could really work.
It didn’t mean he had to bare his fucking soul or anything. Talk of love could come later. He could admit their marriage had a future without giving her a chance to hurt him again.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Alyssa’s fingers smoothed his brow. “You’re frowning.”
Hank chuckled at the question. Why did women always want to know what a man was thinking? Especially after sex. Usually he was thinking about getting something to drink, sleeping, or having sex again. Not necessarily in that order.
“I’m thinking that I’m tired.”
He wasn’t ready to talk to her about his thoughts of the future he was finally admitting they might have. He was better with actions anyway. He would show it by not bringing up the past all the time and by making plans with her past this vacation.
Alyssa yawned and settled more comfortably against him. “It’s been a big day, I guess, and we only have a few more. Are we still planning on leaving Sunday?”
“I think so. The guy I borrowed the cabin from said I could have it for the full two weeks of my vacation but I’m about fished out. Maybe we can take Luke on a few day trips next week while I’m still off of work.”
“That’s a great idea. It’s your vacation so we’ll do whatever you want.”
All he could think about was spending time with her and Luke. He shook those too disturbing thoughts away, not ready to deal with them.
“I’d like to get some sleep,” he teased. “Unless you can convince me otherwise.”
Her small hand slipped down his belly and encircled his cock, jerking it awake. Despite coming hard minutes ago, it was inflating in her hand and sending electric sparks to every part of him. Maybe he wasn’t that tired after all.
He lifted her so she was on top of him, her thighs straddling his hips. “Looks like you have the magic touch, sweet wife. You’ve awakened the beast.”
Laughter bubbled from her pink swollen lips and she situated herself so her already wet pussy was on top of his dick, making it swell even larger.
“Beast? Does that make me a beauty?”
He growled and rolled her underneath him, trapping her with his big body. He grinned in delight at her shocked expression.
“It makes you dragon fodder. Prepare to be devoured.”
They didn’t get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, intent on playing a few games of Damsel and Dragon. Neither could agree on whether the damsel or the dragon won but both went to sleep with smiles on their faces.
Chapter Seven
They’d been back from vacation for over two weeks and things were going well. Kind of. Hank had stopped reminding Alyssa that there was no future for them every time they had sex, which was progress.
But he still hadn’t told her he loved her.
Every day before he left for work, she would hug and kiss him at the door, telling him how much she loved him and would miss him all day. He would smile and kiss her back.
“I’ll miss you too, sweetheart. See you tonight,” was all he would say. Every day it hurt more than the day before until yesterday she’d watched him drive away while her heart was breaking into a million pieces. It was time for Hank to let go of his anger and tell her how he felt. If he didn’t love her, well, she wasn’t sure she would survive hearing that. But if he did love her and he wasn’t telling her so he could punish her…it was downright cruel.
As much as she wanted to make a life with him she couldn’t stay married to him if he didn’t love her. Her gut said he did indeed love her but Hank was so damn stubborn he might not admit it. How long was she supposed to pay the price for her stupidity?
She’d woken up this morning filled with determination. It was time. He couldn’t have all the benefits of marriage with none of the cost. He either needed to forgive her or cowboy up and admit he wasn’t ever going to. She couldn’t take this living in limbo any longer, waiting for him to decide her fate. It was time to take it back into her own hands.
They murmured polite conversation through breakfast, Hank seemingly oblivious to her mood. By the time she kissed him goodbye, her nerves were stretched to the breaking point. Her husband wasn’t going to like the next few minutes much but she couldn’t back down now.
“I’ll miss you today. I love you,” she said, holding her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. Every morning she hoped that it would be the day he said it.
“I’ll miss you too, sweetheart. What are we having for dinner?”
Swallowing her disappointment, she took a deep breath and gathered every ounce of courage she had. “Is that all you have to say to me, Hank?”
He drew his brows together, his expression perplexed. “I’m not sure what you mean by that.”
Needing some distance, she took a step back and wrapped her arms around her torso as if to ward off the coming blow. “I’m asking if that’s all you want to say. I told you that I love you. Do you have anything to say to me about that subject?”
Hank’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Is this an ultimatum? I don’t take kindly to those, Alyssa.”
Hot anger churned inside of her, twisting her stomach into knots and making her nauseous. She couldn’t back down now. This was important. This was her marriage and family. She had to be brave and not let him guilt her into accepting the scraps he was throwing her way. She’d been paying the price long enough.
“This isn’t about an ultimatum. This is about us. You’ve been happy so don’t deny that you have. The question is really simple, so don’t derail it. Do you love me, Hank? Can you try to forgive me?”
A lump the size of Montana was lodged in her throat and she barely choked out the words, scared to death he was going to say that he didn’t love her and he could never forgive her.
Hank looked down at the ground, a muscle working in his jaw. He finally looked up and any hope she had was gone in that instant. There was no love in those eyes. If anything they were as wary and guarded as if she was one of his suspects he thought might pull a gun out of nowhere and shoot him.
“I was happy but you’ve ruined that. It’s never enough for you, is it?” he accused, his tone biting. “You have to have it all your way. Well, I won’t play that game. If what we have isn’t enough for you then you know where the door is. You sure as hell didn’t have a problem using it the last time, did you?”
And with that he turned and swung up into the cab of the truck, slamming the door and revving the engine. His tires squealed as he pulled out of the driveway and she stood there until his truck disappeared over the horizon.
Walking back into the house on shaky legs, she took stock of what had happened. She’d gambled and lost. Hank didn’t love her. He might want to make love – scratch that – have sex with her, but only if his emotions weren’t involved.
She sat down on the living room couch where Luke and Hershey were lying on the floor watching cartoons. Blinking back hot tears that blurred her vision, she gave her son a shaky smile.
“What do you want to do today? A picnic at the park? Anything you want.”
Luke frowned and came over to where she sat. “You look sad, Mommy. Do you need a hug?”
“You have no idea how much I need one.” She held out her arms and pulled her son close. He smelled like baby shampoo and the peanut butter he’d had on his toast this morning. Soon he would be too old for this and he wouldn’t want her fussing over him. “I love you so much. You’re the most important thing in the world to me.”
; Luke wriggled away as Hershey jumped up on the couch and began to lick them both on the face. “I love you, Mom. Hershey does too.”
They were both giggling as the puppy tried to chew their ears and noses. “With this much love in the house it’s amazing it doesn’t burst wide open.”
Luke laughed and scratched the dog behind the ears. “Dad says dogs love unconditionally.”
The words almost took her breath away. Apparently Hank’s love was completely conditional.
“That’s true. Dogs have the purest love.”
“What if someone hurts a dog, like on those TV commercials? Do the dogs still love those people?”
“They try to stay loyal but eventually if the only thing they know is pain they withdraw. They’ll protect themselves from being hurt again and not trust humans. It takes time and patience to win back their trust.”
“But it’s worth it, right Mom? To have a dog’s pure love?”
Alyssa reeled as if she’d been hit on the head with a two by four. Hank, her wonderful beloved husband was afraid of being hurt again, and when she made demands he withdrew, not ready to extend trust. That had been the look in his eyes she’d seen, not hate or rejection. It was fear. She needed to have more patience. Hank wasn’t ready yet.
If he didn’t give a damn about her he wouldn’t have withdrawn into himself the way he did. Her heart fluttered and a fresh spate of tears filled her eyes. She needed to give him more love and time. She needed to let him learn to trust again. His every action told her he loved her—couldn’t she wait for the words?
“Yes, it’s absolutely worth it,” she replied, her tone lighter than it had been before. She believed in her husband’s love and she believed in their life together.
“Luke, how would you like to spend some time with Grandma today? Mommy needs to do some shopping.”
She’d make a fancy dinner tonight and put on some sexy lingerie. Give him a special night that was all about him.
She knew where the door was and she damn well wasn’t going to be using it.
* * * *
Alyssa shoved the grocery bags into the trunk of her car and pushed down the lid. She’d dropped Luke off at Alice Dixon’s house, finished grocery shopping, and now she needed to get home and start making the special chocolate mousse she had planned for tonight’s dessert.
Hopefully it would be a dessert they’d eat after some naked fun. Alice had been happy to watch Luke and had even offered to have him overnight. The shrewd older woman had immediately seen that something was amiss and offered her services in any way she could to fix it without prying into the details.
Climbing into the vehicle, she pulled out onto Oak, stopping at the red light at Sycamore. She hummed as she pictured the evening ahead. Letting Hank know he had all the time he needed to trust was her main job tonight. No more pushing. She’d win back his love a little at a time.
The light turned green and she pressed down on the accelerator, pulling into the intersection. Her eyes were focused forward but out of her peripheral vision something blue flashed. There was a squealing of tires and then an awful crunching noise. She screamed in pain and fright as her fragile bones met something relentless and unyielding, and her head violently hit the driver’s side window.
Blinking to try and clear her cloudy vision, she reached up to rub her eyes and gasped at what felt like a sharp knife in her ribs. Her hands were covered in blood and she let her head fall back onto the headrest with a groan. Everything hurt so badly and she was fighting to stay conscious.
The passenger door on her car was pulled open and a man’s voice barely penetrated the fog that was coming over her.
“Ma’am? Ma’am? Can you hear me? I’ve called 911. Just hold on.”
The gray mist was turning dark and taking the excruciating pain away. The only image in her brain was of her family sitting at the dinner table last night laughing and smiling.
“Luke? Hank?” She could feel her lips form the words but she couldn’t tell if she actually said them with the roaring in her ears. The blackness was persistent and she didn’t have the strength to fight it anymore, didn’t even want to. It hurt to breathe and it hurt to move, but if she closed her eyes and let the fog take her it would all go away. She let it slip over her, blurring the picture of her son and husband and sending her to a most peaceful place.
* * * *
Hank turned on his lights and siren and pressed down on the accelerator. On the radio, he’d heard there had been an accident with injuries at the corner of Oak and Sycamore. Some idiot had blown through a red light T-boning another car. He wasn’t specifically called to the scene but he knew from experience Seth would need all hands on deck for the investigation. Hopefully the driver hadn’t also been speeding. In town the speed limit was thirty miles per hour and if adhered to it would limit the injuries.
Not far from the area, he was pulling up to it in less than ten minutes. He hopped out of the car ready to keep bystanders back so the EMTs could do their work. His first job was to have a few cars moved so the ambulance could get closer to the accident.
He pushed through the crowd to get a good look at the scene. There was a small car with a smashed in front end and another car with the driver’s side demolished that had been pushed at least twenty feet so it was almost out of the intersection with two tires up on the sidewalk.
Hank blinked a few times as he stared at the vehicle, trying to get his sluggish brain to process the information. He could smell the odor of gasoline and the vague sounds of voices shouting but nothing seemed to make sense. A hand on his shoulder pushed him back and Hank looked directly into the gaze of Seth.
“You don’t want to go there, man. Let me take care of this. The ambulance is on its way.”
Something snapped inside of him and he knew in that moment the car belonged to Alyssa. Almost doubling over in pain at the thought of his wife in that tangled hunk of metal he tried to breathe, to think. He couldn’t fall apart right now.
“Luke?” he croaked.
Seth shook his head. “He wasn’t in the car. Maybe he’s with your mom? Alyssa is hurt and you can ride to the hospital with her, okay? Stay with me, man. She’s got some injuries and I need you not to panic.”
Through his daze, Hank finally noticed that Seth had blood on his uniform and his hands.
“Is she–” Words failed him. He couldn’t say it, let alone think it. This simply couldn’t be happening.
“I crawled through the passenger side to get a look and she’s banged up and unconscious. She’s bleeding from a head wound but you know that they can bleed quite a bit and not be serious. Hank, are you hearing me?”
People died from head wounds and blood loss.
The words kept running through his mind and he had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment to control his own thoughts. Sirens sounded in the distance as Hank shook off Seth’s grip. Stumbling toward the car, he could see the fire department was pulling off the driver’s door with a loud “pop”.
Alyssa was lying unconscious, still in her seatbelt, a stream of crimson blood running down her face and onto her green blouse. Instead of the usual golden bloom on her cheeks, she was ghostly white, her lips pale, her bright red hair the only color to be seen.
His knees almost buckled but he pushed forward, swallowing down the acid that balled in his throat. By the time he reached her side, his legs did give out and his shins hit the pavement. He grabbed her limp and lifeless hand in his larger one, bringing her fingers to his lips. Her skin felt cold and she didn’t so much as flicker an eyelash when he called her name several times.
“Lis, baby. It’s Hank. I’m here. I love you, baby. I love you. Hang in there.”
“Sir, we need you to move.”
A deep voice made Hank turn angrily but the nasty words on his lips died. It was the EMTs. They were going to take her away but he wouldn’t let them without him as well. He stepped to the side to let the two men do their work.
“I’m her hus
band. I’m going with her.”
He’d meant the words to come out forcefully but instead they came out choked and barely audible. One of the men looked up from where he was kneeling next to Alyssa and gave him a sympathetic look.
“You can go but give us some space, okay? Let us help her.”
Hank took a few steps back and felt a hand on his shoulder. “I called Alice. Luke is fine and at your mother’s. I gave her the abbreviated version of what’s going on and she said not to worry and do what you need to do.”
Gratitude and relief ran through Hank in a rush. In the midst of an accident investigation, Seth had taken the time to hunt down Luke. His son was happy and healthy, completely unaware of what had transpired mere minutes ago.
“Thanks.” Hank forced the word through the lump in his throat. He barely registered the flashing lights on the emergency vehicles or the press of people craning their necks to get a good look. Everything that was going on felt strange as if it was happening to someone else. Maybe he’d wake up and find it was all a terrible nightmare. The physical pain that had ripped through him in the beginning had changed to a numb, dead feeling inside. If anything happened to his wife, he might never feel anything ever again.
Helpless, he watched as they wrapped a collar around Alyssa’s neck and attached her to a board to stabilize her back. At one point, her lids had fluttered and she’d moaned in pain. He’d jerked forward to talk to her but she went back to being deathly still and quiet before he could say a word.
Carefully moving her to a stretcher, the team lifted her into the ambulance. Hank jumped in after them not even sparing a glance at his boss and grabbed her hand. He needed the contact with her to keep himself sane.
The only thing that mattered now was Alyssa. She had to live so she could yell at him and tell him he was a fucking selfish swine who didn’t deserve someone like her to love him.
Hank Page 6
