by Kate Sander
But she couldn't.
The only thing in her brain was Tomo lying in the grass with a dark figure hovering, and she was calling for her. Amanda couldn't answer.
Well she could. There was one way she could join her.
A life without a happy memory of the only person who'd ever understood her was not a life.
The nurse walked in.
"I need a pen and paper," Amanda said softly.
"For what?" the nurse asked.
"I'm ready to write out my confession."
The nurse was taken aback, but she nodded quickly and exited the room.
Amanda didn't know how long she waited, but she figured the nurse had to get permission to bring her what she asked for. It wouldn't be a problem, they'd been trying to get her to sign a confession for months. Amanda hadn't. It was a finality to what she did and she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was too painful to admit to anyone, even herself, what her love, her weakness had caused her to do.
A rising star in the military, Amanda had always fancied herself as strong. She was a strong woman who could lead and make decisions.
Ha. The only thing she could do was sacrifice her best agent to save her wife. And she didn't even do that properly.
Honestly, the complete and utter lack of judgement she showed in that decision made her more scared of herself than anything. Her whole life, she'd lived by the book and had always made the right decisions. But then, seeing her wife's name on that research and knowing she was alive had shaken her to her core.
And she'd made the worst decision she could have possibly made. Instead of trusting Carter and Senka to bring her home, she'd decided to trade. A life for a life.
Then they'd both died.
The nurse opened the door without a knock, brandishing the pen and paper.
"We got permission," she said smiling. "I'm really happy you're being accountable for your actions."
Amanda nodded, unable to speak.
The nurse handed her the pen and paper, staring at her expectantly.
This was it.
Amanda popped off the cap of the pen and sighed.
"Do you need any help?" the nurse asked nervously.
"I've got it," Amanda said. With a single, fluid motion, she stabbed the pen into the side of her neck. Hitting the carotid, as she meant to, she violently removed the pen as the nurse screamed.
Amanda fell back onto the pillow as blood spurted from her neck in time with her heartbeat.
"Tomo," she whispered.
Finally dying.
Alone.
27
Carter
"No," Ramjeet said in his ear. "No, Carter. Absolutely not."
"I'm not asking," Carter barked, striding to the school with his phone in his ear. "I'm telling you. Big difference, Ram."
"You're telling me that you want me to remake the crazy pills that the smartest woman on earth made so that you can go to The Other Place," Ram said. "That's what you're telling me. Now, take a step back from all this and tell me that's not crazy."
"I don't care if it's crazy," Carter said. A woman at the door gave him a sidelong glance and he lowered his voice. "It's happening. We're going to beat them at their own game. We can send people over there to help Senka." He strode through the door, remembering to hold it for the woman behind him. There were parents filing in for the upcoming game, so Carter didn't have a problem following them to the gym. He stayed outside the gym and found a mostly empty hallway. The gym didn't need to hear this conversation.
"Carter, I know you feel guilty as hell that they died," Ram said softly. "Hell, we all do. But this is desperation mode. We're working on finding Freudman. We will soon, I know we will."
"It's not soon enough," Carter barked. "We have Tomo's notes. Go through them, start at square one. Develop it."
"I'm not doing it, Carter," Ramjeet said.
"Then I will arrest you for disobeying a direct order," Carter snapped.
"Then arrest me," Ram sighed. "Honestly, do it. It's about time we stand up for what we believe in and not just blindly follow orders."
The resignation in his words calmed Carter more than the words themselves. Ramjeet was right. The plan was crazy. Even with Black Eyes on their side, they had no reason to believe that Senka and Tomo were still where they landed in The Other Place. It had been over two months. They would have moved.
Ramjeet was right.
"You're right," Carter said. "You're right. I'm sorry I snapped, Ram. I am."
"All good, boss," Ram said lightly. "We're all tired, shit gets said sometimes. But we're here for you and we're here together. Now, go watch your son's basketball game. Turn your brain off for awhile."
Carter nodded. "That's a good idea Ram. I will do that."
He went to hang up, then thought of something else that was nagging at him.
"Ram, do you think it's funny that my son ended up in the same facility as Tomo? Pretty random, right? That the unknown son of a ZTF agent would end up in the same child trafficking ring that happened to hold a ZTF agent?"
Ramjeet stayed silent for a while, mulling over Carter's question.
"Ram?"
"Thinking."
Carter let him think.
"Seems intentional," Ram said at last. "Maybe not that Isaac ended up being your son. Even you didn't know he existed until after that. I think maybe they took them from Toronto because they wanted us involved."
"Meaning they wanted Senka for Tomo all along," Carter said.
"Makes the most sense. Of course we'd follow our own kids. They must've known we were closing in."
"So they wanted to break us from the top down."
"They're Zoya too, right? Wouldn't be surprised if lots of this was planned out."
"Then we need to break out of their game," Carter said.
"Agreed. Not really sure how to do that just yet though."
"Find Freudman," Carter said. "Then we will figure out how to change the rules to our favour."
"Will do, boss. Cheer loud." With that, he hung up the phone.
Carter walked back to the gym. Exhaustion was taking hold. Two months of feeling like a failure were taking its toll. But as soon as he stepped into the gym and saw his fifteen-year-old son score a three-pointer the stress melted away.
By the third quarter, Carter was cheering as loudly as everyone else. He was so engrossed in the game, he didn't feel his phone vibrate in his pocket.
"Open your eyes, ref," he shouted. "That wasn't a foul. He barely touched him."
Other parents shouted their agreement. Phones started going off around him, breaking his concentration as the opposing team missed both the free throws.
Beep. A parent would look down and read. Beep. Another parent. Then the whispers started. Then parents were rushing out of the gym, holding their phones to their ears.
Carter pulled out his phone. Five missed calls from Ramjeet.
Before he could dial, Ramjeet phoned another time.
"What happened?" Carter asked as soon as he held the phone to his ear.
"You haven't seen the news?" Ramjeet asked.
The kids had stopped playing their game and parents were dragging them out of the gym, worried looks on their faces.
"No, what happened?"
"San Fransisco. It's gone."
"What? What do you mean it's gone? That makes no sense."
"I know. There was a crazy earthquake. It's gone. All of it. Millions of people. They're gone."
A girl in the stands started crying as she looked at her phone.
"We're out of time, Ram. You were right. We need to find Freudman and stop this. We need to stop this now."
28
Tory
Bow drawn and pointed at the chest of the woman she thought she knew. A few years ago, she would have given her life for Senka. Now she would kill her without hesitation.
How times have changed.
Senka was standing in the forest with her hands by her sides.
A giant panther, a mix of spotted and black, sat next to her. The man who had been begging for his life was lying dead at Senka's feet.
"So, Tory," Senka said. "What's going on here?"
Tory didn't move. She kept the arrow pointed for the kill. Senka was fast and she needed to protect herself.
"You remember me?" Tory asked.
"Of course. I remember everything."
"I watched you die."
"Don't pretend that you can't see things that the Shaman used to be able to. We both know you sent that ghost to get me back here." Senka nodded to the dead man. "So that's on you."
"I didn't see any of this," Tory snapped. "I brought you here because I thought you were the same person as you were when you left. Clearly I was wrong."
"It's been, what? Five years? How could I be the same person?" Senka said. "That asshole just killed one of the only people I have ever loved. And, with how she was acting, I think that the Ampulex can control people."
Tory remembered the look in her father's eyes while he poisoned her.
"See," Senka said, smiling. "I'm not wrong, am I? That means that we can't trust anyone until those two are dead." She nodded towards the trees on her left. "That includes your partner over there."
Tory blushed. "You can come out, Eris."
A young woman of about fifteen stepped out from behind a tree next to the clearing.
"Where did you meet her?" Senka asked.
"She helped me out of a jam a few days ago," Tory said, eyes downcast. "She's fleeing the Ampulex."
Senka watched how the girl carried herself. "She's a Zoya. I wouldn't trust her."
"You're a Zoya," Tory snapped. "And I used to trust you."
"How’d that work out for you?" Senka said. She laughed when Tory didn't have an answer. "Last I checked, you're far from home. Shit's not going well in Langundo, is it? Did you ever find Titus and Sol? You promised me, and I promised their mother. Did you just forget about that?"
"I was told to leave," Tory snapped. "The Shaman told me to go north."
"And you listened, abandoning the country you grew up in and the children you promised to save." Senka shrugged. "I'm not the only one who has changed. When Zoya meddle in other people's business, it's trouble."
Senka went to walk away, when Eris put her arm across her chest, barring her path.
The panther let out a warning growl that was matched by the look of pure loathing Senka gave her. "It would be in your best interest to not touch me," Senka said. "I know you're a Zoya and you're young. You think you're invincible. If Tory wasn't here, and I didn't have a friend to burn, I'd kill you for that."
The girl went pale but she didn't move. Tory relaxed the bow. "It's okay, Eris," she said. "Let her go."
Eris dropped her arm and Senka brushed past her. "Let's go, Kai," Senka said. The panther rose and followed silently, giving Eris a low growl as he walked by.
"So that's your friend," Eris said, looking at the dead man. "I thought you said that she would save us."
"I thought she would," Tory said. "Now I'm not so sure." Tory looked at the girl that had come to her rescue. "You never told me you're a Zoya," Tory said. "I thought we promised to trust each other."
Eris shrugged. "I know. But I was a Zoya in the Ampulex army. I was ranked high. I thought you'd kill me if you found out."
"How high ranking?"
Eris turned to follow Senka. "The highest. I was their princess."
"Why did you leave?" Tory asked.
"They were controlling people. They were taking away their minds. I decided I couldn't be a part of that anymore."
"How can I trust you, if they can control people?"
"Well... I suppose you can't. However, when someone is being controlled, their eyes are white."
Eris followed Senka out of the forest.
The Book of All. That’s what all this was about. Monk Oh had said that it could only be read by a Zoya.
Tory hoped that it was worth it bringing Senka back here.
Following the overgrown path and lost in thought, Tory found herself exiting the trees, and staring at him.
Ujarak. Her love. Her lover. He was alive and silently chopping wood for a pyre only twenty yards away. Senka was helping him. They worked together in silence, knowing each other's movement. Jealousy overwhelmed her along with a deep hurt. That was her man. Not Senka's. It had been four years since they'd seen each other, and he couldn't even come and get her in the jungle when he'd heard she'd been here.
Finally, after a few minutes of Tory standing there in shock, he looked up. A smile flashed his brilliant white teeth, creasing his face and making the hardened warrior look like a small child. It melted her heart.
Maybe she was confusing jealousy with nervousness. After all, her heart was still his, yet it had been such a long time. Ujarak could have moved on, or thought she was dead, or worse yet, not cared if she was. But that smile. That was hers.
It didn't matter who was watching. She ran to him.
He met her in a few strides and picked her up, spinning her and laughing brightly.
"Put me down!" she laughed.
He did and he drew her in for a kiss. Hot, heavy, beautiful, they held the kiss and completely connected again.
"I could stay here forever," she muttered into his neck.
"Well why don't we?"
Tory buried her head in his shoulder and desperately wanted to run away with him and leave all of this shit behind.
Thud. The sound of an ax hitting wood drew her back to reality. Senka was building a funeral pyre mere yards away.
Ujarak heard it too and they broke apart.
Grabbing her hand, he led her to the growing wood pile. Senka remained silent, busying herself in her work. Ujarak picked up his hatchet and joined her. Tory went to the body to prepare it. Nothing was said. Eris was sitting by a tree watching them work.
Kai was guarding the body and let out a low growl when she started her approach.
"Woah," Tory said softly. She pulled a couple of Kritz from her bag, saved all the way from Langundo. Showing the panther, she said, "We need to put these on her eyes. A gift for her family in the spirit world." Kai gave her a stare so cold that Tory could feel it in her soul, but he didn't move.
Tory approached him slowly, palms out, keeping them well away from her weapons. The thud slowed slightly behind her and she knew that Senka was watching the exchange.
Needing to tread carefully to preserve this odd truce with her old friend, she continued to head for the woman who was still beautiful in death.
Silence greeted her as she stood beside the woman with the arrow in her chest. They were finished cutting wood. Taking off her pack for supplies, Tory looked at the beautiful woman with the bright red hair. Tory didn't want to pull the arrow out, it would be too difficult and it would be unfair to Senka. Instead, she took her small knife she carried and cut off the wooden shaft at the body. A quick adjustment of her clothes covered the wound.
She reached down to place the coins on her eyes when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Silently, she stood up and gave Senka the coins, retreating to give her some privacy.
"I'm so sorry," she heard Senka sob before she moved out of ear shot to join Ujarak at the pyre.
They waited, hands entwined, and watched Senka kneel by the woman. Grief wracked her shoulders and clearly she was saying something to her old friend.
"She really loved her," Tory said softly.
"I think she did, yes. The woman was trying to kill her. Senka had many different chances to disable or kill her but she never took them."
Senka bent closer and gave the woman a kiss on the forehead. Placing the coins gently on her eyes, she muttered something softly. Finally, she took something off of the woman and draped it around her own neck.
"Jules' ring," Ujarak said. "It helped the woman remember who she was. I'm not sure why."
"Does it have a ruby in it?"
Ujarak looked at her warily
. "That it does."
Tory smiled, a mystery she could finally solve. Pulling the Remiel out of her pocket to show him, she said, "It has a piece of this. The Remiel. The Shaman used to carry this. He gave it to me in a vision. It holds the power of memory and knowledge. The piece Senka has must allow her to remember."
Ujarak stared at the stone, distrust in his eyes. Tory hastily returned the stone to her pocket when she saw Senka approach.
"Let's do this," Senka said, wiping the tears from her face.
Ujarak and Tory nodded. Senka returned and hoisted the dead body up into her arms, cradling her gently.
Tory raised her eyebrows.
"She really isn't the same, is she?"
Ujarak nodded as he lit the pyre. "No. The panther, the strength and the heartbeats are new."
Kai flanked the sad procession. Senka put Tomo on the pyre and stepped back. Ujarak had done his job well and the wood was dry. Soon it engulfed the woman.
Senka grasped at the ring around her neck.
"I'm sorry you'll never meet my child," she whispered softly.
Tory understood and looked sharply at Ujarak, who ignored her and watched the fire consume the woman with the red hair.
A quick tilt of Senka's head and Kai was suddenly running to the forest.
Tory looked at her questioningly but Senka refused to meet her gaze.
They watched the body burn, the three of them who used to be so in sync, now so divided.
Tory rose from beside the small fire they'd made a few hundred feet from the pyre. Quietly, she walked through the camp, stepping over the sleeping forms of Eris and Senka. The panther was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't mean much.
The night was clear and Tory breathed the crisp air into her lungs, relishing the weather. She stepped into the dark forest and looked around.
He was on her before she could scream. A large body in the night pushing her back into a tree.
She kissed him right back and reached down, her body needing him more than anything in her life.
"I missed you," she gasped as his hands got busy. Struggling with her shirt, he finally just ripped it off, burying his head between her breasts.
