by Rick Raphael
became Hetty's boy.
She cuffed and comforted him into a gawky-happy adolescence, pushed himthrough high school and then, at eighteen, sent him off to theUniversity of California at Davis to learn what the pundits of theUnited States Department of Agriculture had to say about animalhusbandry and ranch management.
* * * * *
When Hetty and Barney had finished their recitation, Johnny wore a lookof frank disbelief. "If I didn't know you two better, I'd say you bothbeen belting the bourbon bottle while I was gone. But this I've got tosee."
They finished lunch and, after Hetty stacked the dishes in the sink,trooped out to the porch where Johnny went through the same examinationof the milk. Again, a little fire was built in the open safety of theyard and a few drops of the liquid used to produce the sametechnicolored, combustive effects.
"Well, what do you know," Johnny exclaimed, "a four hundred octaneGuernsey cow!"
Johnny kicked out the fire and carried the milk pail to the tractorshed. He parked the milk on a workbench and gathered up an armful oftools to repair the blast-torn kitchen. He started to leave but whenthe milk bucket caught his eye, he unloaded the tools and fished aroundunder the workbench for an empty five-gallon gasoline can. He pouredthe remaining milk into the closed gasoline can and replaced the cap.Then he took his tools and a pane of glass from an overhead rack andheaded for the house.
Hetty came into the kitchen as he was prying at the cauldron lid in thewall.
"You're going to make a worse mess before you're through," she said,"so I'll just let you finish and then clean up the whole messafterwards. I got other things to do anyway."
She jammed a man's old felt hat on her head and left the house. Barneywas unloading the last of the supplies Johnny had brought from Carsonin the truck. Hetty shielded her eyes against the metallic glare of theafternoon sun. "Gettin' pretty dry, Barney. Throw some salt blocks inthe pickup and I'll run them down to the south pasture and see if thepumps need to be turned on.
"And you might get that wind pump going in case we get a little breezelater this afternoon. But in any case, better run the yard pump for anhour or so and get some water up into the tank. I'll be back as soon asI take a ride through the pasture. I want to see how that Angusyearling is coming that I picked out for house beef."
A few minutes later, Hetty in the pickup disappeared behind a hot swirlof yellow dust. Barney ambled to the cool pump house beneath thetowering windmill. An electric motor, powered either from the REA lineor from direct current stored in a bank of wet cell batteries, bulkedlarge in the small shed. To the left, a small, gasoline-drivengenerator supplied standby power if no wind was blowing to turn thearm-driven generator or if the lines happened to be down, as was oftenthe case in the winter.
Barney threw the switch to start the pump motor. Nothing happened. Hereached for the light switch to test the single bulb hanging from acord to the ceiling. Same nothing. Muttering darkly to himself, hechanged the pump engine leads to DC current and closed the switch tothe battery bank. The engine squeaked and whined slowly but when Barneythrew in the clutch to drive the pump, it stopped and just hummedfaintly. Then he opened the AC fuse box.
Johnny had freed the cauldron lid and was knocking out bits of brokenglass from the kitchen window frame before putting in the new glasswhen Barney limped into the room.
"That pot busted the pump house 'lectric line, Johnny, when it wentsailing," he said. "Miz Thompson wants to pump up some water and on topof that, the batteries are down. You got time to fix the line?"
Johnny paused and surveyed the kitchen. "I'm going to be working herefor another hour anyway so Hetty can clean up when she gets back. Whydon't you fire up the gasoline kicker for now and I'll fix the linewhen I get through here," he said.
"O.K.," Barney nodded and turned to leave. "Oh, forgot to ask you. MizThompson tell you about the egg?"
"What egg?" Johnny asked.
"The gold one."
Johnny grinned. "Sure, and I saw the goose when I came in. And you'reJack and the windmill is your beanstalk. Go climb it, Barney and cutout the fairy tales."
"Naw, Johnny," Barney protested, "I ain't kidding. Miz Thompson got agold egg from the hens this morning. At least, it looks kinda like goldbut she says it ain't. See, here it is." He reached into the cupboardwhere Hetty had placed the odd egg. He walked over and handed it toJohnny who was sitting on the sink drain counter to work on theshattered window.
The younger man turned the egg over in his hand. "It sure feels funny.Wonder what the inside looks like?" He banged the egg gently againstthe edge of the drain board. When it didn't crack, he slammed itharder, but then realizing that if it did break suddenly, it wouldsquish onto the floor, he put the egg on the counter and tapped it withhis hammer.
The shell split and a clear liquid poured out on to the drain board,thin and clear, not glutenous like a normal egg white. A small, reddishball, obviously the yolk, rolled across the board, fell into the sinkand broke into powdery fragments. A faint etherlike odor arose from themess.
"I guess Miz Thompson was right," Barney said. "She said that hen mustabeen pecking in the fertilizer chemicals. Never seen no egg like thatbefore."
"Yeh," Johnny said puzzledly. "Well, so much for that." He tossed thegolden shell to one side and turned back to his glass work. Barney leftfor the pumphouse.
Inside the pumphouse, Barney opened the gasoline engine tank and pokeda stick down to test the fuel level. The stick came out almost dry.With another string of mutterings, he limped across the yard to thetractor shed for a gas can. Back in the pumphouse, he poured the enginetank full, set the gas can aside and then, after priming thecarburetor, yanked on the starter pull rope. The engine caught with aspluttering roar and began racing madly. Barney lunged for the throttleand cut it back to idle, but even then, the engine was running at nearfull speed. Then Barney noticed the white fluid running down the sideof the engine tank and dripping from the spout of the gasoline can. Hegrinned broadly, cut in the pump clutch and hurriedly limped across theyard to the kitchen.
"Hey, Johnny," he called, "did you put that milk o' Sally's into a gascan?"
Johnny leaned through the open kitchen window. "Yeh, why?"
"Well, I just filled the kicker with it by accident, and man, you orterhear that engine run," Barney exclaimed. "Come see."
Johnny swung his legs through the window and dropped lightly to theyard. The two men were halfway across the yard from the pumphouse whena loud explosion ripped the building. Parts of the pump engine flewthrough the thin walls like shrapnel. A billowing cloud of purple smokewelled out of the ruptured building as Johnny and Barney flattenedthemselves against the hot, packed earth. Flames licked up from thepump shed. The men ran for the horse trough and grabbing pails ofwater, raced for the pumphouse. The fire had just started into thewooden walls of the building and a few splashes of water doused theflames.
They eyed the ruins of the gasoline engine. "Holy cow," Johnnyexclaimed, "that stuff blew the engine right apart." He gazed up at theholes in the pumphouse roof. "Blew the cylinders and head right out theroof. Holy cow!"
Barney was pawing at the pump and electric motor. "Didn't seem to hurtthe pump none. Guess we better get that 'lectric line fixed though, nowthat we ain't got no more gas engine."
The two men went to work on the pump motor. The broken line outside thebuilding was spliced and twenty minutes later, Johnny threw the ACswitch. The big, electric motor spun into action and settled into aworkmanlike hum. The overhead light dimmed briefly when the pump loadwas thrown on and then the slip-slap sound of the pump filled the shed.They watched and listened for a couple of minutes. Assured that thepump was working satisfactorily, they left the wrecked pumphouse.
Johnny was carrying the gasoline can of milk. "Good thing you set thisoff to one side where it didn't get hit and go off," he said. "The waythis stuff reacts, we'd be without a pump, engine, or windmill if ithad.
"Barney, be a good guy and fin
ish putting in that glass for me willyou? I've got the frame all ready to putty. I've got me some fiddlin'and figurin' to do."
Johnny angled off to the tractor and tool shed and disappeared inside.Barney limped into the kitchen and went to work on the window glass.From the tractor shed came the sounds of an engine spluttering, racing,backfiring and then, just idling.
When Hetty drove back into the ranch yard an hour or so later, Johnnywas rodeoing the farm tractor around the yard like a teen-ager, hisface split in a wide grin. She parked the truck under the tree asJohnny drove the tractor alongside and gunned the engine, stillgrinning.
"What in tarnation is this all
