by T K Eldridge
I opened the door and smiled at the courier. “Tell them I need to speak to Drake and will call the Queen when I know what dates work best.”
“I will let their majesties know, Princess. Thank you for your time.” He turned and headed down the steps, then shifted into a hawk and flew away.
Safely transport me. Huh. I had not asked to ride on dragon back yet, and he had not offered. I didn’t know what the social niceties were for such a thing, but the way the Queen had mentioned it made me think it wasn’t something considered a faux pas. Drake was supposed to come by tomorrow morning, so I decided to show him the invitation and let him determine how best to proceed. In the meantime, I had work to do, so I got to it.
Later that afternoon, my phone rang and I checked before I answered. I used to just pick it up and not check, but that was Before The Op Ed. Yes, in capital letters. The Before time and the After time is how it was delineated in my mind. Anyway, it was Grizzell so I answered, my heart dropping to my toes.
“Grizz? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Siddie. Sorry for scaring you. I was wondering if I could come by for a few minutes tonight and talk?” Grizz said.
“Sure, I can probably scare up something for dinner if you’d like?”
“I’ll bring pizza and beer as payment for interrupting your evening.”
“Well, it’s not a Drake night, so you’re welcome anyway,” I teased back and he laughed.
“I was wondering why he was in such a good mood the last few days. Okay, I’ll be by around seven. See you then,” Grizz said and disconnected the call.
I looked around the office and wrinkled my nose. I needed to clean up before anyone came over. I put things away, vacuumed, ran a quick duster over stuff, then tossed some laundry through. A shower and clothes I hadn’t been wearing for two days made me feel human again, and I even had enough good produce left to put together a salad to go with the pizza.
By the time Grizz knocked on the door, the sun was starting to set and the heat of the day had faded enough for us to leave windows open while we ate.
We’d both eaten a slice or two and the salad was being enjoyed before Grizz shifted from chatter about who in the office had pulled what prank, to something more serious.
“I know it’s really not my place, but I’m hoping you’ll hear me out as someone who cares about both of you,” Grizz said.
“Sin is okay?” I asked.
“He’s healthy, physically. Mentally? I’m not so sure. We had a ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ conversation a few days back and ever since he’s been distant and cold. Not just to me, but to everyone. I’ll be honest, I’m about to talk to the Commander and get him put on administrative leave until he can sort out whatever’s going on in his head.”
“Tell me what you’ve seen?” I asked.
“I took him to meet a friend of mine, Dr. Everly Rosemont, a professor at the state university. He was so rude to her that I sent her flowers the day after our visit to apologize for his behavior. He called you a whore, and I will admit that I smacked the back of his head when he said it. He’s arrogant, doesn’t listen, and is going to get us both killed if he doesn’t snap out of it.”
I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes. When I felt I could speak again without bursting into tears or screaming, I opened them and spoke. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with him like this. I don’t know what’s going on, and I can’t exactly reach out to him. Mira has texted me a few times, but she said he refuses to speak about me and stormed out of the house one night when she pressured him about me.”
“I think he’s using you as the scapegoat for whatever else is going on with him,” Grizz said. “Do I really think he feels you’re being a whore or that you’re wholly responsible for everything going on? No, but I don’t think he’s clear on where the stress is coming from either.”
“Life was, overall, pretty easy for us until just before our college graduation. Our parents were kidnapped, Mom nearly died, Dad was in hiding – and we both had to give up our dreams and plans to save our family. Academy was torture because we were hybrids. We even had people shit on our beds. So, we moved to the farm and commuted to school from here. Once we graduated, James Boudreau nearly killed us and if Dad hadn’t shot his own father, Sin would be dead. Then, our first case as agents has Sin meeting Mira, his chosen, and becoming instant father to a four year old boy. Once we solved that and they married, she got pregnant fast and they had Reina. He’s dealing with that while I got poisoned by our cousin’s stepson and that took me a long while to heal from. Then he gets shot, and Mira’s pregnant again with twins, and we all play musical houses and shuffle around where we live. Now he’s at the Boudreau Estate with our parents and baby brother, and with four kids of his own. He’s got a job that he never wanted but feels called to do now for whatever reason. Let’s face it—it’s a lot. He had been headed to medical school. He wanted to be a healer, not a cop. I was going to go to law school. My current career is close enough that I feel content in what I’m doing, but I can see how he might not. Life drove him full speed onto a path he really didn’t have time to decide that he wanted for himself. Now, he’s stuck.”
Grizz sat back and took a swallow from his beer. “Well, hell. That does put a few things into perspective.”
“I know, right? And Sin’s nothing if not honorable. I know he loves Mira and his babies, but life is starting to settle and the routine has given him time to think about where he is and what he’s doing, and it’s very different from where he thought he would be in his life right now.”
“And then there’s the prophecy,” Grizz said.
“Oh, fuck that prophecy. We’re both serving our communities so as far as I’m concerned, it’s done.”
“Maybe I should take you to go visit Everly,” Grizz said.
“I’ve heard of Dr. Rosemont, but never met her. I sat through one of her policy and diplomacy talks when I was in school. She’s a shifter of some kind, right?”
“Mythic. She’s an ice phoenix.”
“Woah, I didn’t know those were a thing,” I said.
“What? You think phoenixes are only made of fire? Elementals, dear one. They touch on all of the elements.”
“Why do you think I should meet her?” I asked.
“She has studied that prophecy for many years. You see, Everly knew another set of twins that might have fit the prophecy. When they passed on, she looked for any others that might answer the call – and a few years back, heard about you and Sin. She might have some answers for you.”
“As long as she’s not another one of those Creator types like Orion? I’m happy to sit and chat.”
“I’ll call her and see what her schedule is like, and we can work something out.”
“Do you think I should reach out to Sin?” I asked.
“No, but I don’t think you should actively ignore him either. I know what I told you makes it hard to swallow, but I’d just do whatever you normally would do and let him figure it out,” Grizz said. “There’s a lot of anger there, and I don’t think it really is directed at you personally, just that you have the freedom he no longer has and you’re the closest to him – other than Mira – so you’re an easy target.”
“I can see that. Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. Thanks for coming by and talking about it with me, though. It helps me see things more clearly than my own perception might otherwise have shown me.”
“And with a little more clarity so the initial knee-jerk reaction is lessened?”
“Yeah, that too. I think you should speak to the Commander and see what he says. He watches us pretty closely and can give you some insight. I think, after James Boudreau blew up in his face so spectacularly, he’s more attentive and cautious where his family is concerned.”
“I would be too, if I were him,” Grizz said.
“I know, right? It’s scary how far off the rails things can get when we look away for a minute.”
Little did I
know just how prophetic my words would end up being.
Chapter Eight
Sin
To say my chat with the Commander about Grizz didn’t go well would be an understatement. Instead of backing me up, he put me on administrative leave and now I was stuck behind a desk. He also had me going to training sessions on how to interact with the public, and I had appointments scheduled with the SPD therapist. Me. The one that was out on the streets every day, protecting and serving. I didn’t see Sid getting scheduled for therapy appointments, and that really didn’t sit right with me. I wasn’t the one that had caused the siege on Faery Isle and I most certainly wasn’t the one in exile. Well, until now.
I decided to leave early since I’d finished the stack of paper pushing I’d been assigned for the day. A call to my friend, Bastien Pascal, and I stopped by our favorite Thai place to grab an order before I met him at his house. A while back, Bast had inherited Agnes Hutchins’ house and he’d put some money into it, fixed it up, and ran a boarding house for the guys that lived on the islands but wanted to attend Collegiate high school. He had seven teenage boys living there now, but his suite of rooms was separate from the rest of the house so he had privacy when he needed it.
I knocked on his private entrance door and heard him call out, so I tried the knob and entered. For all that the house was a historical landmark, Bast’s suite felt warm and welcoming. A leather sofa and chairs surrounded an antique trunk that served as a coffee table. A large flat-screen TV hung on the wall over a beautifully carved mantle with a marble fireplace underneath. A round table and four chairs sat in a bowed window alcove and a high counter top separated the main living space from a kitchen a chef would love. A short hallway behind the kitchen led to his bedroom and bathroom. Wooden blinds or shutters covered the windows when needed, but right now they were all open and late afternoon sunlight filled the space.
“I brought an offering of Thai food,” I called out and heard a laugh.
Bast came in from the main house and shut the door behind him. “So, offerings, huh? Does that mean I’ve reached god status?”
“I don’t know – have you? What does your latest boyfriend say?” I teased right back.
“Bailey thinks I’m the cat’s pajamas,” Bast said and gave me a one-armed hug. “I hope you doubled up the spring rolls order,” he said as he took the bag from my hands.
“Okay, I know it’s been a while since I’ve come to hang out, but I would never forget that. I also ordered double coconut shrimp.”
“You’ve not come to hang out since that one time just after the twins were born when your parents told you to get lost while they watched the kids and Mira slept the day away.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Four kids, a wife, and a full-time job don’t allow for a lot of ‘me’ time, y’know?”
“No, I don’t know, and I have no plans of finding it out for myself. I’ll just observe your chaotic existence and count myself lucky.”
I helped move containers to the table and sat while Bast got dishes, utensils, and beer. “It’s been worse lately. I’m just so angry at everything.”
We dished up food and started to eat before Bast spoke again. “So, what are you angry about?”
“Everything and nothing. I mean, things with Mira are fine. The kids are all healthy and developing well. My parents are happy and healthy, and between Mira and Mom, Rohan and my four are all growing up as one big family.”
“What about Sid?” Bast asked, and I could feel the heat flush my neck.
“I don’t want to talk about Sidonie. I can’t and still be civil.”
“Ah. What about work?”
“Grizz and I are not doing well as partners, and I was put on administrative leave – basically, riding a desk while he goes out on patrol. I’ve also been ordered to speak to a therapist on the regular. My first appointment is tomorrow.”
“Well, it sounds like the therapy is needed,” Bast said. His tone was calm and matter-of-fact, but I felt like he was accusing me of something.
“Woah,” I said. “I just took that way differently than you said it. Maybe you’re right.”
“How did you take it?”
“It felt like you were accusing me of something.”
“No, man. That’s far from it. You’ve had a lot of crap dumped on you in a short amount of time, and you’ve not had time to really process any of it. A good therapist is worth their weight in gold. They can give you the tools to fix the things that need fixing, and help you see where the work needs to be done.”
“I guess,” I said. But I was listening.
“Look, you know I’ve been around a while. I was a young adult in the 1930’s. A young, gay adult, who was also fae and trying to stay out of the limelight. I did a lot of different jobs, but I spent more time as a reporter than any other career. I was a war correspondent during Vietnam, and some of the things I saw – well, they broke me. I needed therapy to process those things and deal with the hate and vilification our soldiers were handed when they came home. I’ve stayed with my fae-witch therapist for over fifty years now. He’s fantastic – and if your assigned therapist doesn’t work out, I can hook you up with him. He was a cop in New York City in the twenties. He gets it.”
“Thanks. I guess I never thought about other people getting therapy. I never knew anyone who had before – or if I do know them, it was never discussed.”
“You get a physical every year, right? Taking care of your mental health is no different than taking care of your physical health. We’ve just got a fucked up societal idea of mental health and it has to change.”
“I hear you, and I agree, it has to change. I just feel like my whole life got ripped out of my hands and set on a path that is nothing even close to what I wanted it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mira and I love my kids – but I never wanted to be a cop. I was going to go to medical school.”
“And you can still do that, right?” Bastien said. “I mean, you’re not working because you need the money. Not after your Grandfather James left you and your sister a few million dollars – right?”
“What are you saying?” I felt a growing excitement in my chest.
“Go to work part time until they can get someone else to fill your slot – or leave the job altogether and go to medical school. I’m sure Mira would much rather you did something that didn’t have you getting shot at, am I right?”
I put down my fork and just stared at him. “That sounds almost too simple,” I said. “Like, why the hell didn’t I think of that?”
“Because you’re just not as brilliant as moi,” Bastien said with an exaggerated sniff that ended in a laugh.
“I love you, man,” I said, my voice thick with emotion.
“Hush, that’s Bailey’s line, not yours, my brother.”
I shook myself a little, then smirked at him. “Bailey and Bastien. Sounds like a boxed wine brand.”
He threw a coconut shrimp at me and we both laughed. Somehow, the world already looked a little brighter.
We finished eating and cleaned up, then sat on his back deck with another beer.
“Okay, so tell me what’s going on with Sid, and leave the anger out of it,” Bast said.
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Nope.”
I let out a sigh. “Using the new perspective you’ve given me tonight, I think my real anger with her was because her life was closer to what she wanted it to be than mine was to what I wanted mine to be.”
“Good point,” Bast said. “She’s free to date whomever she wants, she doesn’t have kids, and her research work for the Intelligence branch is close enough to being a lawyer that it satisfies her. Right?”
“Right,” I said. “And the crap that happened to her is really wrong, and not her fault at all – but I put it all on her. I’m an asshole.”
“Yes, you are, but at least you’re realizing it,” Bast said with a snort of laughter.
“You’re an
asshole, too. For agreeing with me.”
“So, now what are you going to do?”
“Well, I need to deal with work first. I’m going to talk to the Commander and either go to part time, or resign altogether - but after I talk to Mira. I’ll explain how I feel about things and see if she’s willing to have me be a medical student instead of a cop. Somehow, I don’t think she’ll have a problem with the change. And then, I need to talk to Sid. If she’ll even listen to me.”
“You’ve got a full plate, my friend. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know this, yes?” Bastien said.
“I know this,” I replied. “And I’m beyond grateful. If one of the few things being a cop gave me was a friend like you, then it was worth the time spent. I met Mira, you, and a few others that will forever be a part of my life. So, as much as I’m feeling an incredible sense of relief at the idea I can step away from this job, it wasn’t all horrible.”
“Feeling trapped can cause us to lash out, much like a badger, forced into a corner. I think that’s what happened with you,” Bast said.
“I think you’re right. I also think that’s a shitty explanation for what I did to people I love.”
“Eh, we’ve already agreed you’re an asshole, Sin. You just gave us a good illustration of that for a while.”
“Keep it up, my friend, and I’ll teach the boys how to short sheet a bed,” I threatened and we ended up laughing. It felt good to laugh. At least, when I met with the therapist for the first time tomorrow, I would have a game plan to start. “Hey, my friend. I’m going to head home. I need to have a long talk with my wife and get things figured out.” I put my bottle in the recycling bin and gave him a half hug. “You’ve just helped me save my life.”
“That’s what friends are for, my brother. Kicking ass and taking names. Safe trip home, and don’t be a stranger,” Bast said.
I really was a lucky guy. In spite of myself.
Chapter Nine
Sid
Before I met with the King and Queen for dinner, I had filed a few documents in the courts to try and help break up the siege with legal means. It seemed to have dispersed the majority of the crowds, but things hadn’t settled out enough to call it ‘over’ yet.
