January Embers

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January Embers Page 9

by Hildred Billings


  “Let’s go!” Ari called across the lawn when Mik reappeared. More than a few of the neighbors had once again gathered to witness the spectacle erupting at the Marcott house. Mikaiya paid them no mind as she raced to the ambulance backed up in the driveway and came within a breath’s reach of her ex.

  There was no time to say anything. Besides, whatever they wanted to say to one another didn’t matter as much as getting Abby to the hospital before she got worse.

  “Come on.” Ariana took Mikaiya by the hand and helped her into the back of the ambulance, where Abby was secured on her stretcher and awaiting transport. The vehicle hummed to life the moment Ari shut the door and sat next to Abby. Mik was relegated to the other side, where she held her grandmother’s satchel in her lap and stared into the pale face of the woman who used to regularly kick the world’s ass.

  “Tell me she’s going to be okay.” Mikaiya braced herself as the ambulance turned onto Colorado Street. “Even if you’re lying to me, Ari, tell me she’s going to be okay.”

  Ariana looked between Abby and Mik with nothing but pity in her eyes. I don’t want your pity, Ari! I don’t want your mind games, don’t want your kisses, and sure as hell don’t want your stinkin’ pity right now! She wanted reassurance. That her grandmother would live and be better than ever. That they were going to be okay. Somehow.

  “She’s going to be okay, Mik.” Ariana said that while looking her ex right in the frightful eyes. “We’re doing everything we can to make sure that happens.”

  Mikaiya doubled over, tears staining her grandmother’s satchel. Ariana stayed respectfully silent while focusing her attentions on the patient and making sure they got to the county hospital in record time.

  It was the longest twenty-seven miles of Mik’s life. Longer than the night she ran away from Paradise Valley and didn’t stop until she reached Portland, and the new life that awaited her.

  Chapter 12

  ARIANA

  Ari stood outside Abby Marcott’s room, a small bouquet of flowers in her hand. She looked up and down the hallway one more time to ensure that there wasn’t anyone else around that intended to visit the invalid in room 203. Fine thing if Ari waltzed in there the moment Mikaiya showed up to check on her grandmother. It was Saturday. Who knew how many people would use one of the biggest days off of the week to come check up on their favorite Ms. Fix-It?

  Do it, you big coward. Ariana straightened out her pullover and made sure she had no new stains on her jeans before helping herself into 203. Abby wasn’t big enough news to have her own room. She shared this one with a young woman who had her arm up in a cast. Ari bowed her head in acknowledgment as she continued toward the window, where Abby sat up in her bed and futzed with the TV remote.

  “Afternoon, Abby.” Ari startled the woman when she said hello from the other side of the privacy curtain. Then again, it wasn’t heart attacks that people worried about with Ms. Marcott. It was more strokes, like the one that had claimed her Thursday afternoon. One could hardly tell now, however. Abby may have had a face that screamed she couldn’t smile if she wanted, but that was usual for her. “Came by to say hi and see how you’re doing.”

  “Ari, dear.” Abby settled back into her bed. Only one side of her mouth was functioning properly, but she didn’t let that stop her from attempting to be a gracious hostess in her little corner of the hospital. “So nice of you to come by. I understand you’re the one that came to my house again? We really must stop catching up with these circumstances hanging over us.”

  That got a snort out of Ari, who looked for a decent place to set her small vase of flowers. She had picked them up from the Paradise Flowers booth at the farmer’s market. Ari didn’t know much about the pretty florist who worked there, but when she said she was visiting an old friend in the hospital, she was given the most price-conscious yet soothing bouquet she had ever seen. Good to know. Ariana didn’t have a lot of money, but she liked giving it to local businesses.

  “You know who you’re getting when you call 911.” Ari sat in the creaking chair next to Abby’s bed. “Unfortunately for your granddaughter.”

  Abby attempted to chuckle. Or, at least, Ari assumed that’s what that pathetic sound was. I lied to Mik when I said her grandmother would be okay. Ariana had no idea of knowing what would happen to Abby Marcott. Her job was to assess situations, apply applicable treatments that were within her power, and transport patients to the hospital when necessary. So, that’s what she had done. I knew it was bad, though. The first time she encountered Abby in her home that year, it was to respond to that initial, fateful call. Abby had been lucid enough to respond to some questions, at least, even if she didn’t do so with the greatest of grace. Yet Ariana couldn’t say if this last call had been due to a stroke. Between doing her job in an emergency situation and dealing with her panicking ex, she could barely focus on one thing at a time.

  “I’m grateful that Mik is back in town.” Ari barely understood the words coming out of one side of Abby’s mouth, but she definitely picked up on the sentiment. “How about you?”

  Something cinched in the pit of Ari’s stomach. “What do you mean?”

  “I was still somewhat lucid before I blacked out,” Abby continued. “I heard her say something about meeting with you to talk. Is that true?”

  Ariana shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Yeah. She wanted to explain a few things, I guess.”

  “Did she tell you about my son?”

  “If you mean Uncle Jake… yeah. I didn’t know if it was true or not, though.” Sheesh. This was not what Ariana had in mind when she came to visit the woman she considered a second grandmother back in the day. You always fed me whenever I came to visit. The Mura family struggled with poverty in underemployed Roundabout, but Ariana never went hungry as a child, even before someone like Abby stepped up to send her home with Tupperware full of stews and leftover mashed potatoes. Yet it had been nice to get a good meal three to four times a week and take the pressure off her own mother.

  Those were the memories she would rather rehash on this visit, if Abby insisted on rehashing anything. Not what might have happened between her and Mik that week, let alone ten years ago. Don’t we have enough memories together, Abby? Here was hoping it was her aging, ailing brain that made her drag up the shit instead of focusing on more pleasant things.

  “It was true,” Abby candidly said.

  Ariana swallowed something sour.

  “My son was a little jackass,” Abby continued, although she sounded more than winded, perhaps pained, to drag up these memories. Ari was simply impressed that the woman could remember these things right now. Maybe she would recover, after all – assuming she followed the doctor’s orders to keep taking it easy and to eat more than red meat every day. “Always had been, but when I left his father and moved to Paradise Valley, he took it really hard. Blamed me for things beyond anyone’s control. Kids are like that, though.” She slowly rolled her head over to the other side of her pillow. It was now easier to see the sag on the left side of her face. “They need someone to blame when their lives are hard. Guess adults aren’t so different, either.”

  “Yeah. Guess not.” Ariana sure loved having someone to blame for all the heartache she suffered years ago. And a little bit today. Sure seemed to happen to a lot of people she knew.

  “Still, all that drama surprised me, too. Didn’t think my son had it in him to threaten his own kin like that. But there was a reason he liked working out of town for most of his life. Didn’t like people. Didn’t like it when they didn’t follow his rules, you know. Never said anything to me because I was his mom. Never said anything to his sister because she followed the rules, outside of never marrying Mik’s dad. I guess he wanted something better for Mikaiya. Whatever that meant to him.”

  Ariana didn’t know what to say.

  “You have to forgive Mik. She did what she thought was right. Don’t get me wrong.” Abby attempted to chuckle. “I wanted to beat her ass when I found o
ut she left to go to Portland. I won’t lie. I was a little relieved she didn’t run off with you.”

  That made Ari’s ears perk up.

  “You two were a nice couple, but I don’t know how you would’ve handled the city. I always figured you would have to break up. Girded myself for that inevitable thing. Merely didn’t think it would happen that night. Let alone that way. Ah… well.”

  “I wish someone would have told me.”

  “I thought you knew for the longest time. When I realized you had no idea a few years ago, I thought about telling you. Then I decided it was best to not drag it up. Mik was determined to stay away from this town. I figured there must be a good reason. So… I never said anything. Not even when she said she was moving back in with me.”

  Ariana didn’t know how to process this information. She would never stop being upset that somebody didn’t tell her the truth behind graduation night. If not Mik, then shouldn’t Abby have said something? Ari couldn’t get over being abandoned in the dark of night, scared that something terrible had happened until the dawning realization that Mik had left her behind finally claimed her. It was the shock that nearly killed me. Ari knew a lot of about shock as an EMT. It either made people feel more capable than they actually were, or it crippled them to such depths of despair that there was almost no pulling them out and convincing them to save their own stupid lives. She usually saw the former more than the latter. Car crash victims walking away, only to collapse half-dead once they realized half their ribs were broken, were the most likely candidates. But it happened to people who had witnessed terrible things. People who had terrible things happen to them. Ari knew both fairly well by that point in her life.

  Had Mik been in shock as well? Did she save their hides, but forget to say anything because she couldn’t yet recover from how much her uncle hurt her?

  Maybe she hadn’t been a coward, after all. Maybe she simply did what was best for them. She had been a kid, after all. She said so herself.

  “I’ve been angry at her for a really long time,” Ari said, unsure if Abby heard her. “Didn’t realize how angry I still am until she came back to town.”

  “Anger has a way of festering inside of you until you can no longer contain it,” Abby weakly said. “I saw it happen with my son. Maybe you’re not a risk to other people, but take care that it doesn’t rule your life and relationships with others.”

  The color was slowly draining from Abby’s face. Ari stood up and said her farewells, content with their short conversation if it meant giving the elderly woman some much-needed rest. God knew how much she had expended herself speaking to a woman who had harbored enough resentment to power the machines monitoring her vitals.

  Maybe she really did care for me. Ariana was in a fog as she left the hospital and climbed into her truck way out in the visitors’ parking lot. Maybe she really did do what she thought was best for us. She sat behind the wheel of her truck, watching the rain slowly drip down her windshield. The soothing sounds almost lulled her into a doze, until the chill cut through her pullover and she was compelled to finally start the engine.

  Maybe she still has feelings for me. Mikaiya could be a lot of things – brash, self-centered, an occasional idiot – but she had never been callous or cruel until that night. Those two years of being the happiest couple in Clark High weren’t merely a lesson in love’s cruel intentions. They weren’t only a warning of how badly things could go when a girl gave over too much of her heart too soon. They were a stepping stone to becoming the adults that both Mikaiya and Ariana saw in their mirrors today.

  One man had wanted to ruin them, for no other reason than bitterness about things beyond his control. Well, he had succeeded. For a few years, at least.

  Ariana drove back into town with a million things on her mind. The least of which were what she wanted to have for dinner on her day off, or if it was worth watching one of her usual shows that night. She was more absorbed in the past, and how it reflected upon her today. Every time she glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror, she wondered if she would see the same thing had Mik never skipped town ten years ago.

  If, instead, they had driven to Vegas and been married by a man in an Elvis costume.

  “Jesus, we were dumb.” Ariana laughed as she entered Paradise Valley’s city limits. “Woo. Imagine being that dumb again.”

  She’d have her chance soon enough.

  Chapter 13

  MIKAIYA

  “When are you going to make your grand apology, though?” Skylar wedged her thumb into Mik’s side. Their stroll through the farmer’s market that fine Sunday was supposed to be exercise, since it was the first non-rainy day in almost a week. The rain hasn’t stopped since Ariana kissed me on top of Wolf’s Hill. Every time Mik thought about it, she caught herself staring into the cloudy distance. A chill tickled her arms beneath her flannel every time the breeze kicked up. She could hardly feel it, however. She was too warmed by the fluttering of butterflies in her body. How could it be helped? I’m in love. A hopeless love. A renewed love. A hopelessly renewed love that should have made her excited to be alive… yet all it did was make her nostalgic.

  Skylar tapped her on the shoulder.

  “Did you hear me, Mik? You need to kick your butt into gear and properly apology to that ex of yours. Ain’t no way you’re either moving on or moving up from her unless you get down on your knees and beg her to forgive you. At least!”

  “What are you talking about? On my knees?” Yeah, that did a great job getting Mik’s attention. The thought of getting down on one or two knees in front of Ariana conjured a very different scenario. Didn’t I do that when I asked her to run off to Vegas with me? Yikes. “What’s this about a grand apology?”

  “Like in romance novels, duh. Don’t you know anything?” When Mikaiya was compelled to shake her head, Skylar let out a mighty sigh and continued. “You have to find some grand gesture to prove your love to her! Then she can make her final decision about whether she still wants you or not!” She cocked her head when she realized Mik still wasn’t giving her the answer she sought. “You… do still love her, right?”

  Mikaiya cocked her eyebrow, hoping that the young family checking out hand carved toys in a nearby stall couldn’t see them. “You barely know about this, Sky. Since when are you an expert on my old relationships with the locals?”

  “I’ve been all over this stupid town.” How did that come out in a controlled growl instead of an outburst that shook the townsfolk to their sensitive cores? “Applying to jobs, getting to know the unspoken rules… do you know how many times I’ve had to hear your sob story from everyone in town? Jesus, you have no idea. I’ve heard so many versions of the romance between you and this Ariana Grande or whatever that I…”

  Mik was laughing too much for Skylar to continue.

  “What?”

  “Ariana Grande? Oh, wow.” Mikaiya clutched her hand to her stomach. “That’s rich. Whew. The thought of her being anything like the singer…”

  “Okay, okay, very funny. Sorry if that’s the only person I associate the name Ariana with. Can’t be helped.”

  “I wonder how many times people have given her crap for that?”

  Skylar crossed her arms and leaned back, a sly grin dotting her face. “You’ve still got it bad for her, don’t you? Knew it. My favorite version of the story was the one where Ariana climbed the hill and watched for your return. Dunno how that was supposed to work, but who cares? It’s straight out of some tragic love story! Hey!” She slapped her hand against Mik’s arm. “Bet she still loves you, too!”

  “What makes you say that? Any of that?” How dare she put those thoughts in Mik’s head? Honestly!

  “Because you’re blushing like the most lovesick puppy in this town. Trust me. I’ve seen more lovesick lesbians these past two weeks than I ever did back in Portland.”

  “Don’t let the locals hear you say that. You’ll never shake the ‘tourist’ label.”

  “
Now, now, don’t turn it back on me! We’ve got to figure out a way for you to make your grand gesture!”

  “I’m still not sure what that means.”

  One dramatic eyeroll later, Skylar took Mikaiya by the hand and hauled her back through the city hall parking lot, where the monthly farmer’s market took place. They were surrounded by greens, buds, and handmade soaps and gifts, but nothing Skylar looked at screamed Ariana. Soap was passé as a gift now. Besides, it might say she smelled bad. Not exactly the message Mik wanted to convey to the ex she desired to make amends with… if not more.

  “Flowers!” Skylar pointed to the booth nearest the road. There, swimming in a small garden of buds that could withstand the cooler temperatures – or at least for two or three hours – was the local florist carefully tending to petals and stems. She hardly had a care for the two women racing up to her stall as if they needed flowers right now, or else their lives would come to a terrible end. “Get her some flowers, Mik! Which ones are her favorite?”

  Mikaiya finally shook her friend off her. “I don’t know!” She also didn’t know how flowers were supposed to solve her romantic conundrum. Flowers? For Ari? In what universe would a woman like her want flowers, of all things? She’d probably be offended.

  Then again… Ariana Mura was once the girl who made daisy chains and wrapped them around her head before following Mik up to her uncle’s barn. Who knew? Maybe she still harbored a girlish fondness for some of the world’s simplest beauties.

  “Can I help you?” A kind face appeared from behind a hanging pot full of bright red flowers. The florist’s black hair was capped beneath a lavender-colored beanie, its brim almost covering her eyes. It reminded Mik how chilly it was that day. She hadn’t bothered to wear a hat. Her Oregonian pride didn’t let her unless it was as low as twenty or raining so hard she couldn’t see the town through the showers.

 

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