by Tom Reilly
“She came up during her lunch hour today. Wasn’t that nice? She and Ike have a lot going on.”
“Yes, they do. Four kids will do that to you. Can I get you anything?”
“No, I want to lay here and rest my eyes,” Mom said.
“Okay, I’ll sit here with you for a while. Go ahead and try to rest.”
Mom closed her eyes and drifted off. Timothy watched and thought she wasn’t putting up much of a fight, at least not like she usually did. He saw this in other patients who began to accept their illnesses or diseases. It wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, but it made a difference since it was his mother. Part of the recovery process I guess.
When Mom started to snore, he went back to the nurses’ station to test his observations with the staff. They affirmed she was weak from the experience, and once she began eating and moving around, her energy would return. He thanked them, walked back to her room, and sat for a while until she stirred.
“Mom, I think I need to get going. Studies and all.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I’m not home to fix you a good dinner. A man needs a good meal at night.”
“That’s fine, Mom. I’m pretty self-sufficient.”
“Yes, you are. You’ve had a lot of practice, haven’t you?”
“Nothing wrong with that.” He leaned over and kissed Mom on her cold forehead. She grabbed his hand and held tightly, as if she didn’t want to let go.
“I work tomorrow night, and I’ll be back up here then. Get some sleep and eat something. You need to get your energy up.”
“Okay, honey. I will. Always looking out for me, aren’t you?” Mom said.
“Yeah. Good night.”
He left feeling a bit depleted. Mom could do that to him, intentionally or not. He prepared himself for the usual heaping of guilt, but not for this. Her lack of fight caught him off guard, and it worried him.
Scoot’s truck sprang to life at his first command. He liked feeling in control. In the Fairlane, turning the key was a request.
On the drive home, he thought about Mom. He worried she might not recover from this, and it saddened him to think about life without her. He jarred himself back into the moment. He hated when he thought worst possible outcome—WPO, as he called it. When he got home, he made a ham sandwich and grabbed a Pabst. He wanted more than one but knew he had a few hours of study left, so he drank just enough to wash down his dinner. I’ve got to call Cheryl.
“Hey, it’s me,” he said.
“I hoped you would call. I was going to wait until later and call you if you hadn’t called. How was your exam?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t take it.” Timothy paused to let this sink in, and told Cheryl what happened.
“Okay, you’ve got Scoot’s truck for transportation, right?”
“Yeah, for the time being, anyway. I’ve got to get through these next couple of days. Then I’ll decide what to do. First things first, you know.” Timothy sounded more in charge than he was. He liked putting up a front for Cheryl. For Timothy, self-delusion was a poor man’s pride.
“Timothy, I know how you feel about this, but will you please let me help you? I’ve got some money saved—”
He cut her off in mid-sentence. “I’m not taking your money. What kind of man would that make me?”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Cheryl said. “I’m not trying to offend you. I can drive you if you need help or you could borrow my car.”
“I’m covered with the truck,” Timothy said defiantly. “It’ll work short term, like I said.”
Cheryl switched topics quickly. “Okay, how’s your mom?”
Timothy told her about his visit and the nurses’ comments. He rambled like someone with more thoughts than words.
“So what test is tomorrow?”
“Experimental psych—not my favorite, but I should do okay. I’ve got a solid A going into it, and I’ll need it after today. Wednesday is abnormal psych and statistics. Then, onto Mister Pabst. I can use an evening with him.”
“You sure can. Will you call me tomorrow after your test to let me know how you did?”
“Sure.”
“Timothy, you know I’m here for you. You have big shoulders, but you don’t have to carry the weight of all of this yourself.” She paused. “I love you.”
“Yeah, me too.” He paused for their private joke to register. “I know you’re here for me.” He softened his tone.
“Okay. Get some good study in and a good night’s sleep.”
Timothy hung up and stared at the empty can of beer. He wanted another beer, or two or three or more, but decided studying would do him more good. Studying was the only thing in the way of a bad hangover. Making the right decisions can be a burden.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
TIMOTHY WOKE UP Tuesday morning hoping it would be a better day than Monday. Scoot’s truck started on the first turn of the key. With light traffic, he got to school earlier than he anticipated and had even more time for a last-minute review.
He took the exam and finished early. It was easier than he anticipated. Preparation made the difference. He went to the Student Union for another cup of coffee and to review for Wednesday’s finals. He called Cheryl to deliver the good news. He liked calling her with something positive for a change. It seemed like every time he called her lately he felt like a loser.
He left school and went home to study for a few more hours and to catch a nap before going to the hospital for the night shift. Even though he would take Wednesday’s exams on a few hours’ sleep, he knew he could handle it if he got his nap in today. His plan succeeded. He got about six hours’ sleep before leaving for work.
Driving to work he thought, Today’s turning out a whole lot better than yesterday. Maybe things are beginning to turn around in my life. I’ll stop by to see Mom before starting my shift.
Mom was asleep when he checked on her. Timothy spent an uneventful Tuesday night working in the ER. He even got in a couple of hours of study. He knew Wednesday’s exams would go well, even though he struggled with statistics during the semester. He wanted it behind him. Then, he had abnormal psych, which he knew he could ace. He didn’t want to break a good morning routine, so he went to the snack bar for a big breakfast. He had plenty of time for the fifteen-minute drive to school.
“Hey, early bird,” Penny said as he walked in the snack bar.
“Hi, Penny,” Timothy said.
“I heard you worked in the ER last night. Busy?”
“No, pretty quiet.”
She knows that. This place is a rumor mill.
“How’s your mom?”
“I poked my head in, and she had a stable night. That’s a good thing, I guess,” Timothy said.
“Glad to hear she’s stable. You take your blessings where you can get them, I guess. Want a milkshake for her?”
“No, it’s breakfast and off for exams—my last two and I’m done.”
“Yea, freedom. You sound relieved,” she said.
“We’ll see.”
“I think that calls for a celebration,” Penny said.
“I think I’ll visit Mister Pabst this evening and discuss things,” he said.
“It sounds like a fun time. Do you want—” She stopped mid-sentence, and Timothy was glad because he knew it could have gotten awkward.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” he said quickly.
She changed the conversation. “So, have you figured out your plans yet for next semester?”
“That’s part of why I want to meet with Mister Pabst tonight. I need to do some real thinking and make some decisions. There’s a lot going on right now. I want to take my exams and catch my breath.”
“It sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities. I’m sorry if I come across as nosy.”
“No, that’s fine. Yeah, I do have a lot on my mind right now, but that’s just life.”
“I think you need a vacation,” Penny said.
Timothy laughed at the suggestion.
> “A vacation? That’s a pipe dream for a guy like me,” he said.
“Why?”
“Like you said, too many responsibilities.”
“Doesn’t that get old? I mean, being that responsible?” Penny asked.
Only the young and naïve could ask that question.
“There are days,” he said.
“Maybe you need to get away and clear your head. Things may look simpler then,” she said.
She’s starting to make sense.
“Are you a therapist?” He laughed.
“No, a concerned friend. Can I call you a friend?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Good. Here’s an idea. You know Ginny on Three?” Penny said.
“Yeah, she’s taking care of my mom.”
“She and I leave in February for her uncle’s condo in Fort Myers, Florida, for six weeks. It’s our last hurrah before nursing school starts. She and I will be roommates in the summer. Bill from maintenance is going. He’s kind of sweet on Ginny, and she likes him, too.”
“It sounds like you guys will have fun,” Timothy said. Okay, this sounds like somewhere I don’t want to go.
“Carefree and single. How good does it get? Oh, did I mention it’s free?” she said.
“Carefree and free sound great. I bet you guys will have a good time,” he said.
“Wanna find out? You could go with us,” Penny said.
Whoa, I set myself up for that one. Okay, I need to get out of this fast.
“Penny, I’ve got a girlfriend, you know.”
“Well, I know you’re too old to be going steady, so are you two engaged?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Not exactly means no, doesn’t it?” she pressed.
“Maybe you should go to law school.”
“Am I persuading you?”
“Tempting? Yes. Persuading? No. Look, I hope I haven’t been giving you the wrong impression,” Timothy said.
“Oh, no. Just the opposite. You’ve made a great impression on me. Any girl would be thrilled to have you as a—friend.” She laughed.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. Where’s your sense of humor?”
“Good question,” he said. “How about some breakfast?”
“What’s your pleasure?” Penny said playfully.
“Pancakes, two over easy, and bacon.”
“Coming right up,” she said.
He opened his statistics book for some last-minute review, but his mind drifted.
Six weeks away from responsibilities. God, that sounds good. It sounds like R & R—getting away from the action. Is this the same as running away from home as a kid? Something like this may get me away from responsibilities but not obligations. This comes with strings. No way. What about Cheryl? What would she think? What would I think if the situation were reversed? I wouldn’t like it a bit. It sounds innocent, but I know it’s not. But man, six weeks away from decisions and problems is tempting. Leslie would have to take care of Mom. About time. I’ve been pulling the wagon long enough. I deserve a life, right? And Frank, he’s done nothing to help. It’s about time he stepped up.
“Here ya go, hungry man,” Penny said as she delivered the breakfast.
She leaned over with the platter and rubbed against him. He would have been lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel a reaction to it.
“Thanks, and thanks for the offer, but I need to stay here. Responsibilities, you know,” he said.
“Sure, the offer stands. Bill and Ginny are serious, and I will be their third wheel. I thought it might be fun to have a friend to hang around with. Bill plans to join the Marines when we return. I thought you’d be a good influence on him. He knows your background and respects you,” Penny said.
“Oh, I didn’t realize,” Timothy said.
Could I have misread this whole thing? My radar must be bad these days. Maybe it was simply a friend thing. I hope I think more clearly in my exams.
“Enjoy your breakfast.” She smiled and walked away.
Timothy gobbled the breakfast, left enough money on the table for the meal and a generous tip, and managed to slip out without saying goodbye to Penny. He thought rude was better than awkward. He could square it with her later.
She’ll be fine—she likes to play the game.
He decided to check on Mom before leaving. Since he had exams, he knew he could use it as an excuse to get out of there in a hurry. She was sitting up in bed with her breakfast tray, sipping tea and eating toast.
“Hey, Mom. You’re eating.” he said.
“Yes, dear. I’m hungry this morning. It must have been that activity yesterday, making me get up in the chair.”
“That’s a good sign. Just got off work and thought I would peek in on you. Got exams this morning.”
“Yes, dear. Go. Take your tests and do well. I know you have studied hard for these,” Mom said.
“Thanks, Mom.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll be back later to check on you,” he said.
“Goodbye, honey, and good luck.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
AFTER HIS WEDNESDAY exams, Timothy walked to the Student Union to call Cheryl. The Student Union buzzed with post-exam euphoria. Music poured from the jukebox, laughter filled the air, and groups of students sat around talking. This painted a different picture than a few days ago.
“Hey, I’m done,” he said.
“So, how did you do?” Cheryl asked.
“Good, I think. I know I aced the abnormal psych final, and I thought the stats exam would be tougher. The professor grades on a curve anyway, so I should get my grade. I’ll need it after Monday’s experience with Comrade Leibert.”
“Congratulations. I’m proud of you. One more semester under your belt. I think a celebration is in order, and it’s on me.”
“Okay, girl. What do you have in mind?”
“A special occasion like this can mean only one thing: Mantia’s,” Cheryl said.
“You’re on. You know how to make a guy a deal he can’t refuse. How about I come by your house after you get off work? Say six o’clock?”
“I’ll be waiting,” she said.
Timothy left the Student Union and headed to the truck. It started on the first try. That added to his euphoria. Life is good today. As he drove home, he sang along with the radio, drumming his fingers on the wheel. Timothy hadn’t felt this good in a while. Even with his responsibilities and the decisions he faced, finishing the semester today and celebrating tonight with Cheryl offered needed relief. He decided to swing by the hospital and see Mom again before heading home for a short nap. He wanted to rest for their big night of celebrating. When he got to the hospital, Leslie was already there.
“Hey, Mom,” he said.
“Hello, dear,” Mom said.
She sounded weaker than a few hours ago. Leslie’s eyes looked red.
“Tired, Mom?” he said.
“Yes. They made me walk this morning. I think it wore me out.”
“Well, that’s good you’re up.”
He looked at Leslie and nodded hopefully.
“Hey, Sis. What’s up with you guys?”
“Work and kids, what else? I hear you finished your exams today,” Leslie said.
“I took my last two this morning. I’m off for a couple of weeks, and I think I will catch up on some sleep,” he said.
“That’s good, dear. You deserve it.”
“What about your car?” Leslie said.
Timothy gave Leslie a pleading look.
“What happened to your car?” Mom said.
“Oh, Scoot’s doing some work on it. He let me use his truck,” Timothy said.
“That’s nice. He’s a good friend, isn’t he?” Mom said.
“Yes, he is,” Timothy said.
Mom closed her eyes and breathed heavily. Timothy motioned Leslie toward the hall. They went outside Mom’s room to talk.<
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“Why are your eyes red?” Timothy said.
“Can’t you see?”
“See what?”
“Mom—she looks terrible,” Leslie said.
“She looks tired to me. They got her up earlier. That’s a good thing. She’s probably tired from the exercise,” Timothy said.
“Maybe. I haven’t seen her in a couple of days, and you’ve seen her every day. It’s more dramatic for me.”
“I understand. She’s stable. That’s something to be grateful for,” he said
“You’re right. What are your plans to celebrate exams being over?”
“Cheryl is treating me to dinner at Mantia’s.”
“Whew, fancy. You’ll love that.”
“Timmy, are you still here?” Mom called out.
“Yes, Mom. We’re in the hallway,” he said.
“Could you get me some ice chips?”
“Sure.”
Leslie went back inside as Timothy went to get the ice chips.
“Mom, I’m leaving. I need to go home to be there for the kids when they get home from school. I’ll come back tomorrow to see you,” Leslie said.
“Okay, dear. Thanks for coming up. I’m lucky to have you children. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You don’t have to do anything. We’re here,” Leslie said as she leaned over and kissed Mom.
“Okay, dear. Thanks for coming by.”
Timothy met Leslie at the door.
“God, I feel guilty every time I come up here,” Leslie said. “She looks pitiful.”
“Mom can do that to you, you know,” Timothy said. “She is the master.” He grinned.
“You’re better at handling this stuff than I am,” Leslie said.
“I’ve had more practice.” He smiled. “Look, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You have your hands full.”
“So do you,” Leslie said.
“Yeah, but I don’t have four kids depending on me.”
“You’re a good little brother.”
She leaned forward and hugged him.
“And don’t say anything else to Mom about the car. I didn’t tell her. Besides, how did you know?”
