My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up

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My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up Page 31

by Russell Brand


  There’s loads more I could harp on about, famous people who’ve helped me and said stuff that’ll look funny written down: Jonathan Ross, Noel Gallagher, Courtney Love—but all that rhubarb you kind of know. The Brits, Radio 2, Ponderland, tours and now a couple of films, I’ll tell you all about it next time. I have done some terrible things over the course of this booky wook—not while writing it, I’ve been the model of restraint—no, I mean over my life. In the Twelve Steps you’re taught to make amends rather than just apologizing but, by way of mitigation, I felt a tremendous compulsion to express myself, not in a smutty fashion, artistically. From the first school performance in Grays, I’ve been in pursuit of a destiny that always felt beyond my reach.

  The most insightful thing I ever heard, was overheard. I was waiting for a rail replacement bus service in Hackney Wick.

  These two old women weren’t even talking to me—not because I’d offended them, I hadn’t, I’d been angelic at that bus stop, except for the eavesdropping. Rail replacement buses take an eternity, because they think they’re doing you a favor by covering for the absent train, you’ve no recourse. Eventually, the bus appeared on the distant horizon, and one of the women, with the relief and disbelief that often accompanies the arrival of 349

  RUSSELL BRAND

  public transport said, “Oh look, the bus is coming.” Th e other

  woman—a wise woman, seemingly aware that her words and attitude were potent and poetic enough to form the final sentence in a stranger’s book—paused, then said, “The bus was always coming.” V

  350

  Ac know ledg ments

  Suzi Aplin

  Gareth Roy

  Jack Bayles

  Nick Davies

  Paul McKenna

  Nik Linnen

  Lynne Penrose

  Lesley Douglas

  John Noel

  Nic Philps

  Ron Brand

  Matt Morgan

  Sharon Smith

  John Rogers

  Chip Somers

  Tony/Sam and all at Focus 12

  Jackie

  Joe Star- twin

  Nicola Schuller

  Malcolm Hay

  Tony Arthur Hay

  Ben Miller

  351

  Ac know ledg ments

  Dr. Abood

  Dr. Gormley

  Sam Crooks

  Moira Bellas

  Barbara Charone

  Mark Stone RIP

  Th

  e Macleans

  Dennis Noonan

  Ian Coburn

  Alfi e Hitchcock

  Brian Cox

  All my secret fellows

  Kevin Lygo

  Meredith Church

  David Marshall

  Christopher Fettes

  Yat Malgren RIP

  Reuven Adiv RIP

  Mark Lucey

  Iain Coyle

  Andrew Newman

  Andrew Antonio

  Lindsey Hughes

  Heidi LaPaine

  Janet and Jimmy

  Joan and Rex

  Leela Miller

  Jamie Hodder- Williams

  Daisy Poppets

  Ben Dunn

  Mr. Gee

  Karen Corin

  352

  Photographic Ac know ledg ments

  Plate sections, pages 1–16.

  All photographs are courtesy of the author, with the exception of 15 above and 16 below left, both courtesy of Rex Features.

  Every reasonable effort has been made to contact the copyright holders, but if there are any errors or omissions, HarperCollins will insert the appropriate ac knowledgment in any subsequent printing of this book.

  353

  About the Author

  Russell Brand is a comedian, journalist, TV and radio host, and actor.

  He captivated audiences in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and hosted the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. He has won numerous awards in Britain, including Time Out (London)’s “Comedian of the Year,” “Most Stylish Man” at GQ’s Men of the Year Awards, and the Sun’s “Shagger of the Year.” He is a frequent guest on nighttime television.

  www.russellbrand.tv

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Also by Russell Brand

  Irons in the Fire

  Articles of Faith

  Credits

  Jacket design by the Designworks Group, Charles Brock

  Copyright

  MY BOOKY WOOK. Copyright © 2009 by Russell Brand. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader February 2009

  ISBN 978-0-06-177037-1

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  About the Publisher

  Australia

  HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.

  25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321)

  Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au

  Canada

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

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  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca

  New Zealand

  HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited P.O. Box 1

  Auckland, New Zealand

  http://www.harpercollins.co.nz

  United Kingdom

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

  77-85 Fulham Palace Road

  London, W6 8JB, UK

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.uk

  United States

  HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

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  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com

  Document Outline

  Cover Image

  Title Page

  Dedication Page

  Epigraph Page

  Contents Author�s Note

  Part One Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Part Two Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Photographic Insert I

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Part Three Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Photographic Insert II

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Part Four Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Acknowledgments

  Photographic Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by Russell Brand

  Credits

  Copyright Notice

  About the Publisher

 

 

 
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