by B. Celeste
My eyes narrow as I set the picture back how I found it. “Is that how we’re going to be? That wasn’t just fucking, Kinley.”
She shrugs loosely. “It doesn’t matter. You have no right getting angry that I didn’t tell you about Parker. It isn’t like you asked.”
Parker. How was I supposed to ask something like that? “I’m sorry, okay? It isn’t like I planned any of this to happen between us. But I’m not upset that it did.”
Her head turns to look at anything but me. She draws her legs onto the mattress and crosses them under her. “Didn’t you though?”
I wet my lips and give her that one. “I wanted the part, so maybe I did plan it in some ways. I just wanted to be in your life. We’ve been through this.”
She stares at her lap, her fingers fidgeting with one another. “I talked to Gavin. You told me to ask him about what happened in Lincoln, but I didn’t want anything to change.”
I walk over and sit beside her, pushing past the ex-fiancé tidbit for now. “Why not?”
Her head turns to me. “Because I’m sick of everything changing. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to keep you at a distance. If Gavin told me something that changed how I thought of you, then I’d have to admit I was wrong. When you insisted that you two knew something I didn’t, I thought we were finally heading in the right direction. Moving on from the past.”
I nod. “We were.”
She inhales slowly, blowing it out before flattening her palms against her leggings. “I’m sorry for what he did. You have to know something important, okay?”
I wait for her to say something.
“I was never with Zach.”
My lips part as I blink at her.
She stands up and shoves her hands into the large pocket of my old sweatshirt. “How many times did I tell you that him and I were friends? That never changed after you left. If anything, he became the kind of friend I needed. I was happy to have him be there for me, but it was never like … what Gavin made it out to be. He and I got into a fight over it.”
My throat hurts as I swallow. “You and Zach never…?”
She just shakes her head.
“Never?”
Her shoulders drop. “Do you want me to paint you a picture? No. Zach and I were friends. We still are, in case you’re wondering.”
“I know.”
Her brows arch.
I rub the back of my neck. “I was desperate to reach out to you when you didn’t use my number. I found him online and asked if he knew how I could get in touch with you.”
She laughs when I least expect it. “You thought he and I were a thing and you still reached out to him to get in touch with me?”
I stand. Part of me always knew what Gavin said was bullshit, but I didn’t want to question it. I’d always seen how they interacted in school. Zach liked her and she knew it. It wasn’t farfetched to believe he comforted her when she needed it.
“Your brother loves you.”
She hesitates. “I know.”
“He was protecting you.”
She kicks the carpet with her toe. “It doesn’t change anything. Don’t you get it? We would have been together. We could have had a chance. Right person, wrong time. Remember?”
“But look at us.” I gesture around. “We have done pretty good considering. You have an amazing house, a successful career. You’re doing what you always said you would. Could you say the same if we’d gotten that chance before?”
I can tell my words sink in because she blows out a breath and shakes her head. When she doesn’t say anything, I step closer and grab her hand. “Look at me, Little Bird. We have obstacles that won’t be easy to get past, but they’re not impossible. I don’t want either of us to walk away. We need each other.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “You have no idea,” she whispers, voice cracking as I pull her into me. My hand cradles the back of her head, brushing my fingers through her hair. Her hands lock on my sides, keeping some distance between us as I hush her like I used to when she was upset.
Tears soak my shoulder, causing my own emotions to rise up the back of my throat. “Please don’t cry, baby. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. It will be different. I’m not going anywhere.”
She lets go of me and peels herself away, damp face and hollow eyes meeting mine. “I need you to remember that, Corbin.”
I swipe my thumb across her cheeks. “I wish I could make this all better. Tell me what I need to do, Little Bird.”
Moving my hand away from her face, she squeezes it and drops our hold. “Promise me you’ll be there for me no matter what.”
“Done,” is my instant response.
“Corbin—”
“We mess up,” I cut her off, trying to make her see this is it for me. For us. “That’s reality, Kinley. People mess up but that doesn’t mean we have to ruin a beautiful thing. There shouldn’t be a limited number of chances before giving it all up because nobody gets it perfect no matter how many times they try to.”
“Corb—”
“Please.” My voice cracks. “There is a lot I can’t undo—what Lena has said, what the media has said, whatever happened between you and Parker. But I can do my fucking best to make you see that none of that matters. It should only matter what we know to be true. And that’s what’s between us. A past. A present. A future.”
She closes her eyes, letting tears stream in ragged lines down her cheeks. “You’re going to be a dad.”
Chapter Twelve
Kinley / 17
French vanilla wafts in the air as the crackling fire breaks the silence around us. I flutter my eyes and note the soft cotton material I’m using a pillow, before my palm reaches up and caresses a soft rising chest.
“Sorry,” I whisper, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with my fisted palms. I glance up at the dark, starry sky. “It’s pretty out tonight.”
He stays on the ground, hands folded across his chest. “You were tired. Lay back down, Little Bird. I was comfortable.”
Rolling my eyes, I do as he says and rest my cheek against him. “I’m going to miss this," I tell him, hefting a sigh.
He wraps an arm around me, leaning his head on mine. “We still have time. I don’t leave until the end of the month.”
Lips weighing down, I listen to his heartbeat. His eighteenth birthday present to himself was a contract with Mark King, his new manager. He already has three auditions for new parts, all in Los Angeles. Apparently Mark has a place for Corbin to stay in L.A. while he auditions. He’s already been guaranteed one commercial appearance, which he’s shooting in a few weeks.
“Are you excited?”
His hand stills the gentle movements on my upper arm. “Yes.”
“Will you miss me?”
He squeezes me, chuckling. “Are you fishing for compliments, Little Bird? You know I’m going to miss you.”
Blowing out a breath, I brush my hands against his stomach. “It’s going to be weird without you telling me random fun facts about Stephen King.”
“I’m sure you’ll really miss that.”
“For sure.”
We lay like that for another few quiet moments, just holding each other and absorbing one another’s warmth. My hand trails up his stomach, resting just above his heart. Brows pinching when I feel the slightest uplift of rigid skin beneath the pad of my thumb, I sit up and stare down at him in curiosity.
His silver eyes light up as they stare back at me, pressing my hand harder against him. “I want to show you something.”
He sits up and reaches behind him, pulling his tee off with one yank over his head. My eyes trail down to his left pec, where two little black lines rest. They’re still slightly red as I gently brush my finger against them.
“These are real?”
He picks up my hand and kisses the fingers before dropping them back onto his bare skin. “I got them earlier today.”
I sit on my knees and study the simplicity of each line—like tally marks. �
��Why lines?”
His chest moves in slow, calm breaths. “It represents us. Two entities that are equal to each other. Dreamers. Doers.”
I continue staring at the ink for another moment before moving my eyes upward. “Will Mark have problems with you getting this? Did you clear it with him? I hear that some people don’t—”
He laughs. “Don’t worry about it. We’re remembered for the rules we break, not follow. And I don’t care what he or anyone thinks of them. I didn’t get this for anyone else.”
Listening to him makes me smile. I trace the two little lines and feel a shiver when his breath tickles my face. His lips find my cheek, then slowly trail to my lips until they hover over them.
I breathe him in. “You’re the only one who gets what it’s like to want something as bad as I do. Not having you here to cheer me on or vent to…”
Laying back down, I stare at the sky. The lights are twinkling in welcome rhythms, making tears well in my eyes until they no longer dance with clarity.
“Hey.” He reaches for my hand and looks down at my glazed eyes, squeezing my fingers with his. “Look at me, Little Bird.”
I obey.
Tapping the tattoos on his chest, he gives me a soft smile. “These are forever. Inked on my skin permanently. You know why that is?”
My head shakes slowly.
He reaches down and brushes hair from my face. “We’re inevitable. No matter where either of us are, that won’t change. Okay?” My heart flutters in my chest. “There are a lot of things that end, but memories are forever. A year isn’t long enough for me. I need longer.”
My bottom lip trembles as a tear slides down my face. Before I can wipe it away, he does with his thumb. I swallow and say, “You shouldn’t say stuff like that, Corbin.”
“Why not?”
I take a deep breath. “You’re leaving and neither one of us knows what will happen. You’ll be busy becoming famous and I’ll be stuck here barely getting through senior year. You won’t want to be tied down to a girl from the middle of nowhere.”
“Stop.”
“I’m just being realistic.”
“You’re trying not to get hurt,” he counters instantly.
Isn’t it the same thing?
Pursing my lips, I lift my shoulders without bothering to argue. Nobody wants to walk into pain. It’s better to anticipate it. But am I any better than my family then?
“Corbin, maybe—”
“I love you.”
My lips part.
He rests on one of his elbows, partially hovering over my body. One of my palms goes to his chest, cupping his ink, the other stays on my own to feel the erratic beat of my heart.
“What?”
He chuckles, using one hand to thumb my bottom lip. “I love you, Little Bird. Maybe it’s premature, maybe it’s late, but it’s true and that’s all that matters.”
All I can do is blink. Goosebumps pebble my skin as I meet his lips and feel his body settle over me, sinking us into the soft grass.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hold him to me and feel him part my lips with his. The kiss is slow, sensual, all-telling without any words between us. My hand finds the tattoo and presses against it to feel the healing skin.
I pull away first, resting my forehead against his shoulder. “We’re going to be across the country from each other. Now you say it?”
His fingers comb through my hair. “I’ve always said it. Just without the words.”
My eyes close as I pepper a kiss against his shoulder. “Corbin?”
He lets out a sharp exhale.
“I love you, too.”
His arms wrap around me, curling me against his body as we settle onto our sides. The fire remains the only sound other than our synced heartbeats drumming together. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and soak in the moment.
Words no longer seem necessary.
Just each other’s presence is enough.
And I think, I want to get used to this.
But we don’t.
Chapter Thirteen
Kinley / Present
We sit at the kitchen table in utter silence. My eyes are focused on the way his lock with the floor, his fists tightening and loosening over and over as he thinks. Not one word was spoken as he walked down the stairs, me following him thinking he’d leave.
He stayed.
He’s here.
So, I accept the silence.
It feels like an eternity passes before I blow out a slow breath and reposition on the chair enough to make it creak. Corbin glances up, his attention suddenly on my hidden stomach beneath his old hoodie. His eyes are distant, pained as he studies my torso.
My words are nothing more than a whisper when they escape my lips. “Are you okay?”
A gargled laugh comes from his throat. “I am a lot of things, but that’s not a good word to describe what I am right now.”
Pressing my lips together, I wrap my arms protectively around my midsection. “I didn’t ask for this, Corbin. You of all people know that. If you think—”
“I’m not angry with you, Little Bird.”
I blink, slowly grasping the words I don’t anticipate hearing. “You’re not? Because this is the last thing either of us needs. I don’t want…” Licking my lips, I close my eyes and shake my head. “I’m not forcing you into anything. You said you didn’t want kids, and this is the definition of trouble which we can’t afford to be in—”
Once again, he cuts off my nervous rambling. “When did I say that I didn’t want kids?”
I part my lips, then close them.
“Kinley,” he repeats. His eyes narrow in inquiry, before he scoffs and brushes a hand through his already messy hair. “I said that in high school. Are you going to hold that against me after all this time?”
“Who said I was holding it against you?”
“You’re answering my question with a question,” he accuses, standing up. “That’s deflecting. Tell me, Kinley. Why?”
I put my face in my hands. “I didn’t mean it, okay? I’m tired. I can barely eat. Sleep has become nonexistent. I’m always fucking puking, horny, and miserable. Do you understand the reality of this? I’m pregnant with your baby.”
Footsteps near me before my hands are pulled away from my face. Corbin kneels in front of me, holding my wrists so I can’t cover myself again. “Trust me, Little Bird, I know. But just because I said something when I was a teenager doesn’t mean I feel the same now.”
My heart plummets to the bottom of my stomach, and I yank my arms from his grip. His brows pinch as I shut down, shaking my head and trying everything to get away from him.
“Kinley? What—” He curses and stands quickly, catching my arm as I turn away. “I didn’t mean my feelings for you. Those have always been fucking true. Don’t for a second close me out, especially not now. What have I always said to you?”
I say nothing.
“We’re inevitable,” he says firmly, locking our gaze without blinking. The conviction of those two words isn’t foreign to me. In fact, despite our situation, it warms my chest to hear.
And that’s a problem.
He squeezes my arm. “Didn’t you used to believe that things happen for a reason? This is no different.”
My brows raise in disbelief. “You think my birth control failing is some act of fate? We used to say that about our dreams, not inconvenient pregnancies.”
Stomach twisting over the harsh words, I blow out a heavy breath and try collecting myself. I don’t want to make this harder than it is. Corbin just has to understand that we’re only facing one of many uphill battles. Once the public finds out…
My shoulders tense as I carefully pull away from his hold. His warmth is comforting, luring me back in. Deep down I still believe that things happen for a reason, just like I always have. But as I get older, I realize that reason rarely reveals itself. We make things up to justify our actions. Maybe that’s all this is.
&nbs
p; Forced reason.
“You don’t believe that,” he says softly, stepping in front of me again. “Come on, Little Bird. You said you’d fly with me. You said you’d soar. What happened?”
I look at my stomach. “I broke my wing.”
He cups my cheek, lifting my head up to meet his solemn eyes. “It’s not broken. You’re just scared. You have to jump.”
Shaking my head, I say, “I can’t.”
He steps closer. “You can.”
“You’re supposed to be angry.”
His shoes touch mine. “Why?”
My eyes close. “Because I am. I’m angry, Corbin. I…” Balling up my fists, I smack his chest, but he goes nowhere. “I hate this. I hate what we’ve done. I hate that I put myself in this situation. I hate yo—”
He catches my fists before I can strike him again, frustrated tears coating my cheeks. “I know you’re feeling like that now, but—”
“Stop!” Voice cracking, I yank my grip from him and step back. This time he lets me. “I don’t understand how you’re so calm. We messed up big time, Corbin. You’re married to another woman. I can’t have a baby with you.”
“You’re already having one.” He gestures to my stomach in exasperation. His fingers go to his hair once more. “Christ, Kinley. It’s not like we can change what’s already been done. And I don’t want to. Do you?”
Stuffing my hands into the pocket of my hoodie, I walk around the other side of the table to put distance between us.
His hesitation is heavy in the air. “You can’t change that, can you?”
Swallowing past the emotion in my throat when I hear the faintest devastation in his tone, I shake my head. “I’m fifteen weeks. That’s too far along to do anything about it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He cusses. “And if you weren’t?”
My jaw trembles as he rounds the table. I step back as he nears me, my back trapping me between his body and the wall behind me. “I don’t know, okay? Obviously I didn’t want to because I’m still pregnant.”
His arms go to either said of my head, face drained of emotion. “I wouldn’t have even known, would I? If I hadn’t shown up?”
